The Fourth Trimester: And You Thought Labor Was Hard...

by Amy Einhorn

The thank-you note real moms in the Fourth Trimester would like to send:

Dear ________ :
Thanks for sending us ________ . I’m sure __________ will love it as soon as _______ can do anything besides eat, sleep, cry, and run up the stock price on Pampers. Having recently entered the Fourth Trimester, right now my goals in life are to sleep more than three hours and shower before 7:00 p.m. So please excuse this impersonal note.
I’d love for you to come over and see _________ . But no helpful hints, no critiquing of the fact that I
(1) breast-feed without a cover-up;
(2) do not breast-feed and use formula;
(3) allow my child to use a pacifier;
(4) use a Swyngo-matic to hypnotize my child into a state eerily similar to an Ecstasy trip.
Do not tell me that __________ looks cute. I know that __________ looks like a cross between E.T. and Yoda. And no comments about my figure. I am not Cindy Crawford and, yes, those are maternity clothes I’m still wearing.
Bring rain gear and you’ll be well prepared for the nonstop torrent of liquid escaping from __________ and me. Can’t wait to see you -- of course, these days I’m even looking forward to having my mom and mother-in-law visit. I’ll take whatever adult company I can get.

Love and kisses from me and the pumpkin!

Genres: Nonfiction

96 pages, Hardcover

First published April 17, 2001

Reviews

[Cal · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was not a fan of this book. Sure, it was a quick read and had some humorous punches, but overall it felt like it was just subscribing and supporting those general clichés one hears about after a baby is born: the mother is upset at the father for being less than useful, the father doesn’t know what he should be doing, the in-laws are annoying, etc.

It did have some validity to a few of the scenarios it depicted, but most of the book felt like it was just throwing together many different tropes and stereotypes of what you hear sitcom moms complain about after the birth of their child. I find that if you have good communication with your family, friends, etc a lot of the social dynamic problems aren’t that much of an issue.

Also in my humble opinion, attitude goes a long way; I truly believe that a positive outlook on this new life and your novel experiences during the 4th trimester can really shape your perspective and subsequently alter your mood for the better (with the exception of course, if you develop postpartum depression, which may require professional help to treat).

I had been hoping the book would provide deeper insight into some of the potential issues one might face during the postpartum period, but it wasn’t that kind of book.

[Cambria · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book had me all over the place. I definitely laughed and nodded in agreement, but also thought some of the criticisms of spouses, MILs, and other moms a little harsh at times and her outlook on the whole postpartum period was pretty negative. I agree that the PP time is not fun and can be quite lonely, but there can still be a lot of peace and beauty if you look for it. Still, the laughs and commiseration it brought were welcomed and much needed during this exhausting time!

[michelle+8 · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was a baby shower gift when I was pregnant with my first baby, and I read it in the days after his birth. I found the entire book incredibly pessimistic and depressing. The author seems to feel that the period just after birth is a universally miserable period for new mothers, which I found somewhat offensive. Her view of motherhood is sleep deprivation, loneliness, frustration, desperation to get away from the baby and out of the house, and virtual abandonment by a partner who can't possibly understand, never volunteers to help, and leaves the mother alone all day for the dubious purpose of earning a paycheck.

[Katie-Lyn Santacruz · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had its good and bad. Somewhere in the middle I felt like putting it down because it was pretty much all negative talk. However, there were uplifting moments and funny parts that I enjoyed. I think it’s important to remember that having a baby is not easy especially in the beginning but take it one day at a time.

[Jackie · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a cute book to help you feel comfort in some of the realities of the "after birth" experience.
I didn't agree with everything she said. And she had a bit of a potty mouth but it was a fun and entertaining read for the most part.

[Charity Hester · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just re-read this book after the birth of my second child. I appreciate the format of short chapters for a new mom and love the humor of the author. A great gift for a new mom (along with a snacks, lots and lots of snacks!!)

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

humorous yet practical and just right in those early weeks when fatigue and self-doubt set in.

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fun, quick read about what life is really like after having a baby...lots of humor that I can currently relate to.

[Krista Pressey · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read in one day. Recommended by a friend. I found that the audience is for the brand-new parent. It seeks to reassure you that What your feeling is normal and not to worry too much.

[Vanessa · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars