Keep Holding On

by Susane Colasanti

A Junior Library Guild award-winning novel about the consequences of bullying and suicide.
Noelle's life is all about survival. Even her best friend doesn't know how much she gets bullied, or the ways her mom neglects her. Noelle's kept so much about her life a secret for so long that when her longtime crush Julian Porter starts paying attention to her, she's terrified. Surely it's safer to stay hidden than to risk the pain of a broken heart. But when the torment of a friend takes a dramatic turn, Noelle realizes it's time to stand up for herself...and for the love that makes her keep holding on.
Keep Holding On is an empowering, realistic story that will inspire readers to stay strong and never give up.

Genres: Young Adult, Romance, Contemporary, Realistic Fiction, High School, Abuse, Young Adult Contemporary

202 pages, Hardcover

First published May 31, 2012

About the author

Susane Colasanti is the bestselling author of When It Happens, Take Me There, Waiting for You, Something Like Fate, So Much Closer, Keep Holding On, All I Need, Now and Forever, and the City Love trilogy. She has a bachelor’s degree from the University of Pennsylvania and a master’s degree from New York University. Before becoming a full-time author in 2007, Susane was a high school science teacher for ten years. She lives in New York City.

You can connect with Susane on her Facebook, YouTube, Instagram and TikTok.

Reviews

[Aj the Ravenous Reader · Rating 3 out of 5]

“If I’d stopped believing that my life would eventually get better, I don’t think I would have survived high school.”

If you can survive high school, you can survive practically anything. It probably sounds too much but for someone like Noelle, neglected by her own mom and bullied by half of the popular kids in school, high school life is indeed a test of faith and patience. For her to keep holding on despite everything takes much courage, hope and strength of will.

“In case you haven’t noticed, there are other people in the world and their lives suck too.”

Though I wasn’t a huge fan of the clipped style of writing with too many periods and couldn’t closely relate with Noelle during the first half of the book, this is still one of those necessary books that I would encourage teenagers to read for inspiration and valuable life lessons.

With the bonus cute romance and a super dorky but thoughtful teacher, Ms. Scofield (my favorite character in the book), and other characters to adore like Simon, Sherae (I may have misspelled her name) and Julian, the entire reading experience was still very worthwhile. It’s a book that encourages teenagers to speak up when things are becoming seriously tough. It’s a book that makes teenagers understand that they don’t have to be alone and that people do care.

“I have to trust that there are people in my life who actually care about me. And I have to let them help.”

[Giselle · Rating 5 out of 5]

School was the most difficult time in my life. I didn't have it as bad as Noelle. I have a great family who gave me everything I needed, but my school life was terrible. I was picked on and laughed at for being little. I had a hard time approaching people to make friends. I was even bullied by a teacher who made it a point to humiliate me. I was too young to realize this back then, but I will never forgive her. This all made me lash out and act in ways that made myself unapproachable. Being from a very small town like Noelle, this story hit incredibly close to home. It may not be a perfect book, but it still deserves every single star I can give for the simple fact that this sends a strong message that could help people live through what may be the hardest years of their lives.

Noelle had my sympathy from the very first page. She's an immensely strong willed person to have kept herself together the way she did. She is intelligent and caring. She has a huge heart that has been trampled on, but she never gives up. I admire her will and I think a lot of people could learn from her. Her emotions are vivid. She made my heart break and gave my goosebumps by seeing her finally stand up for herself. Yes she makes some stupid decisions, yes it's obvious to us how Matt is using her, yes her reaction to others being bullied is ironic. It may be hard to understand, but when you can avoid making your life even worse, you do so. We have to realize that this girl is stifled in a life of depression and shame, her irrational decisions are due to an unconscious defense mechanism. We'd like to think someone who gets bullied would help others in the same boat, but I call that wishful thinking.

The side characters, though some more than others, have a big a role in the story as well. From her best friend to the bullies, these were plucked out from real life with real problems of their own. I also found her mother very convincing. She's a horrible parent figure, but unlike some other books I've read it didn't feel exaggerated for the sake of the story. It felt like a realistic situation where the parent is just as lost as the child. It's sad, but more often than we realize there are kids who raise themselves, do their own laundry, don't get enough to eat, etc. It's horrible. It really is.

Being a very short book it packs quite the punch; the story is packed full of emotional highs and lows. Like I said it's not perfect, some things could been fleshed out - like her friendship with Sherae, her relationship with Julian, and the ending which I felt was a bit implausible or too good to be true. In real life things don't usually turn around so quickly. Nonetheless, the story is touching. It could definitely help give some kids hope and I think this is what matters in the end.

Yes it's true, things get better. What happens in school doesn't matter when you're older. If only this was easy to believe when you're a teenager. I commend Susane for taking her experience and writing such an encouraging story. It takes courage, I know just by writing this that it IS embarrassing to admit you were bullied, but you know what? Don't ever be ashamed! This is what defines who we become, and I would not change a thing about my life today!

--
For more of my reviews, visit my blog at Xpresso Reads

[46milestogo · Rating 1 out of 5]

This may be the most rage-inducing book I've ever read. EVER. I've only said this once before, but if I could give this book no stars, I would.

Keep Holding On is about Noelle, a girl who is bullied at school for being poor. It's clear that Ms. Colasanti has experienced bullying and I'm sorry that she has.

It's also equally clear that she has no idea what it's like to be truly poor, and as someone who grew up poor, and who works as a librarian in a town where there are teens in the same situation Noelle is, food-wise, this is where I am so insulted by this book that I'm not going to talk it up to anyone other than die-hard Colasanti fans.

How does Ms. Colsanti get the reality of being poor and hungry wrong?

For starters, Noelle complains constantly about being hungry--but she's getting food. It's just not food she WANTS. She gets "mushy" spaghetti and non-homemade garlic bread. She gets McDonalds. She gets hotdogs. She complains about eating carrots because they aren't fresh. And, as someone who has a limited wardrobe, she actually thinks that it's stupid that a teacher doesn't seem to own more than one pair of pants. For real?

There's more:

Noelle makes money babysitting and instead of buying food because she's always hungry (which is repeated almost constantly) and gets made fun of for her school lunches, does she buy food the way someone who is a hungry teenager would? No. On page 79, she has fifteen bucks and buys a shirt. Not food. A shirt. Here's what a really poor and hungry girl does with $15--buy food and maybe swing by Goodwill/Salvation Army to pick up a cheap shirt.

On page 90, Noelle is humiliated the first time her mother uses food stamps because the cashier doesn't know how to deal with them. She supposedly lives in a wealthy area but even upscale grocery stores like Whole Foods train their cashiers on how to take food stamps. It's not uncommon to get them, especially since the economy is so awful these days.

On page 101, Noelle, who is very hungry, gets food from McDonald's. Her reaction to the food (to her stereotypical awful mother): "You shouldn't be feeding me this junk," I say. -- Yes, because that's what a girl who's perpetually hungry would say. On Planet Never. When you're really and truly hungry, you eat what you can get.

On page 107, there's the complaint about the carrots and why is Noelle so upset? Because they are canned. Again, we must be on Planet Never.

On page 128 Noelle complains that she's only able to take showers at night. This is a hardship how? Try not being able to do anything but use a friend's.

One page 128 Noelle says "I can't eat. Not that a boiled hot dog and lump of revolting potato salad is even remotely appealing." At this point, I'm screaming, ARE YOU FOR REAL?

How did her editor not realize that a truly hungry person would never react like this? And did no one think to calculate or even estimate how much Noelle's mom would get in food stamps each month? Because it wouldn't be a lot, it would be enough to buy food for the two of them. Not good for you food. But food all the same. I suppose we're supposed to just forget about that little fact, or assume that Noelle's mom just simply doesn't use them because she's a horrible person. But you know what? That's not enough for me, not after all the other things that happen.

I loved Ms. Colsanti's first book, and haven't liked the others very much since. But this? It's great for teens who are being bullied. It's a slap in the face to teens who are in the situation of not having enough to eat.

[Best · Rating 2 out of 5]

THIS REVIEW ON B'S BOOK BLOG!
A digital copy of this book was provided by the publisher and NetGalley for review. 

I read the first of Susane Colasanti's book, When It Happens, in 2008, and I loved that book. That was the first one and I've never read any more of her books after that, but When It Happens gave me the impression that she must be quite a good writer. (Although later on when I tried to re-read the book in 2010, I got so annoyed I just gave up, and I couldn't recall why I loved it in the first place, even though I really did love it in 2008.) Keep Holding On is the second book by this very same author that I've read. I was really excited when my request got approved, hoping I would like it like I did the first novel. But readers, I regret to say that this book didn't impress me. 

Keep Holding On is about Noelle Wexler, a sixteen-year-old ninth grader, who lives a difficult life. Noelle and her mother lives in a rich area, but they're poor. There's rarely anything to eat at home, which results in only scraps of food she brings to school for lunch. She has clothes just enough to wear to school every day, and nothing more. Bullies enjoy bullying her. No one sits with her at lunch. Her one and only best friend isn't always around. Her boyfriend keeps her as his dirty little secret. Her mother neglects her. She's disgusted with her life. The environment around her and the treatment she receives make her believe that she's no good for anyone. And when Julian Porter, her other love interest, shows that he likes her, she pushes him away because she believes that once he gets to know her and her messed up world better, he'll stop liking her and leave anyway. Every day Noelle fights to keep holding on, looking forward to that one day when she leaves this town and can really be who she wants to be. But until then, she has to survive high school first. 

My first reaction was to give this book three stars, but I had a lot more problems with it than with those books I have actually given three stars to, and this book isn't as enjoyable. But maybe that's to be expected because of the heavy themes in this book. (Although I believe that however heavy the themes may be, a book can be a great read providing it's written well. That implies something about this book.) But I thought I'd settle with 3 stars anyway because it touched a very serious and important topic that is bullying. But then... I started thinking about something I like about this book... and none came up. Seriously. Usually I can find something to like in even the most boring book and give them two stars. Keep Holding On is by no means boring, but the fact that it has nothing that I can say I like about it makes it even worse than being boring. But it didn't enrage me like those I've rated one star, and I hate giving one star. I've been sitting here contemplating what to do with this book, and I've changed my decisions at least four times now. (Please forgive my obsession with rating.) And finally I decided to rate it two stars. It wasn't an enjoyable read but I don't hate it enough either. I don't know why I'm telling you this, but I feel like it's important that you know my feelings for this book weren't easy to pin down. 

Noelle gets bullied a lot in school mostly for the fun of the ones doing it. Hurtful words are thrown her way and she even gets physically hurt. However, I felt little sympathy for her. I mean, I did feel sorry for her and don't want her to live like that, but she's not a very likable character for me. I can understand where she's coming from. I've been there, I've felt humiliated by not having as much money to pour down the drain like everyone else, not having clothes as fabulous, not having a house as gigantic, not living a life as perfect.  These things haven't changed. It used to bother me so much when I was young, and it still bothers me a little from time to time, but I don't spend all time thinking (and whining) about it like Noelle.  

Even though my situation probably wasn't as bad as hers, I know where she's coming from. She's poor and humiliated; she's insecure about herself and finds it hard to believe that anyone might be interested in her or even believe compliments. I feel for her, but she's difficult to like, what with her saying how much her life sucks all the time. Apparently she's too proud for free lunch even though she qualifies. Of course, she prefers to have her stomach growling for the whole school to hear rather than to  get free lunch because she'll never "subject herself to that kind of humiliation." Girl, why do you care? Shouldn't your priority be keeping your stomach satisfied to survive? Is this really the right time to be so-- forgive my language--snobbish? She says  her mother isn't a mom, and a part of the reasons is that she doesn't buy Noelle the stuff she needs like tampons and toilet papers. Okay, I understand that it's wrong of her mother to not do that, but really, if she doesn't buy you tampons, buy them yourself! Don't just let your blood stain the chair just because your mother doesn't buy you tampons. It's a lame excuse. And honestly, I don't understand what point the blood scene really tries to make. It just bothers me. 

I felt like this book doesn't come out strong enough. It didn't make my heart ache. Sure, it made me upset that bullying is going on, but that's about it. It's hard to feel emotionally invested with a book when you don't like the main character. Especially when the events in the story feel unbelievable. Here's a list: 

1) It doesn't make sense to me why Julian likes Noelle. He says it's because she's different, but in the context in the book "different" kind of implies "not as rich as everyone else". What? 
2) A very horrible thing happens later in the book, but after that things seem to get a whole lot better. I didn't buy it. 
2.1) Suddenly the bullies stay away! 
2.2) Suddenly the mother cares! 

On top of all that, I wish I could at least say I liked the writing, but no. It annoyed me to no end. The narration jumps from one thing to another and form these unconnected parts of storytelling; from the present to the past that don't really connect but seems to happen because it's what Noelle randomly thinks about at the moment. It's all tell and no show. I can't describe it but I felt like the writing prevented me from getting into the story. I felt like I didn't know the other characters well enough. And another thing that bothers me is that the story doesn't start off well for me. I have a thing for opening sentences and opening scenes and this one just disappoints me. Yes, the first page was where I started feeling unimpressed. 

I really hate to give any book one lonely star, and I never imagined I'd give it to a book written by Susane Colasanti. I'm sorry. I just didn't like it at all. I won't judge her, though. Maybe this book is just not for me. I'm the minority here 'cause most people on Goodreads think this book is great. But for me... is this book heartbreaking? No. Is it moving? Yeah, a little. I respect that the author wrote this book about bullying, which is also dedicated to Tyler Clementi who was a victim. I respect that she reaches out and wants to help. There are useful resources at the end of the book that tell you where you can get help from. 

Although I didn't like this book, and I didn't like Noelle, I wish her the best. Noelle really has this belief that anywhere is better than where she is and she has her heart set on anywhere but here, and I hope that when she leaves this town one day, she's going to leave all the bad memories behind and that she's leaving it for a better place. No one deserves to be bullied, and no one really has the right to subject anyone else to it. Personally I'd say fight back, but you can do that or you can keep holding on. Don't give up. And like Noelle says, "Eventually, you'll find a real place that feels like home. [...] And you'll be so happy you held on long enough to make it there."

[Rachel Maniacup · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book broke my heart,not only because of the sympathy I felt for Noelle Wexler,the main character here,but because I got frustrated by the fact that this is supposed to be about surviving the bullying at school,and in addition,being bullied at home..How infuriating,right?(I did cry plenty of times here) but then,it took so long for Noelle to realize that she herself,can stop the bullying.She may even have stopped Ali,her classmate for committing suicide.

Yes,this book is about a high school student who struggles with bullies at school,and who is living in a desperate kind of life.She has to endure the hardships in life by working while studying just so she can sustain her own needs,though she has a mother whose suppose to take care of her and provide for her.Good thing,she have friends like Sherae,Simon,and Julian who truly cares for her..and they were my favorite characters in this book.

I wanted to love this book because of it's great premise,but I felt that it didn't hold enough promise of hope on the issues and problems that needed much care and attention. Overall,this book serves as an eye-opener which the author was trying to emphasize here.

[Julianna Helms · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quick Reaction: This book was so real that it plagued me like the bubonic. A drastic comparison? Not really.

Honestly, I've been through what Noelle's been through. I still am, sometimes. But I'm more like Simon--I don't give a darn. I really don't care what others think of me. And that's what I love about this book--Noelle's character transformation is so believable and complete that I can't point out a single flaw in it.

This is the book to read if you hated high school. This is the book to read if you loved high school. This is the book to read, whether or not you're in high school.

Actual, full review: Original is here. (Note: Due to copy-and-paste, formatting and links have been lost.)



The picture you see above is a rainbow-spewing fish. It's a blurry picture, as I took it with my webcam up close, and it's not colored. I assure you, though--it is indeed a rainbow-spewing fish.

"Um, Juli," you might be thinking, "What the heck does a freakin' fish have to do with Keep Holding On?" That's a great question. And so allow my quasi-philosophical explanation to fathom for a second or five.

Our lives are blurry. They pass by us faster than we realize and slower than we desire. Things don't work out right; they turn upside-down; colors degrade to black; brightness fades to a dimmer white; what was once a promise is now a dread. Through it all we're still fighting to find a better life, and even if that means sacrificing certain values, most of the time we are willing to do it.

So why, then, is bullying such a problem? And suicide?


I have been bullied. My friend has been bullied. In fact, this generation's (and I believe what I'm saying is accurate, considering I am in this generation) idea of "bullying" and such is so drastically different from our parents' that if an adult saw some of the jokes we share, they'd probably be appalled. But that's just how evolution works, isn't it? To slowly progress and then stop and then progress and then backtrack and go on and on in this never-ending pattern, always dependent on something else?

Keep Holding On is like a giant stop sign screaming, "WAIT!' STOP! DON'T YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING? DON'T YOU SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING?" Susane's words leap off the page in an array of promise and hope, desperation and authenticity. She's encapsulated a common teenage life into one of the shortest--yet fullest--books I've ever read. And the entire transformation of Noelle's character is so believable and complete that I am in awe of Susane's obvious understanding of both the topic and her talent.

This book incarcerated me. I'm out at dinner, eating hot pot with my parents, waiting for the food to arrive and reading this and BAM it's like everything I try to forget just drowns me again. I was addicted and terrified of Susane's words. They crippled and crushed and dared me to hope. They were so real I could barely stand it. Of course, my situation is not even close to how badly Noelle gets treated, but I can relate to her, and I even pronounce it almost impossible to not relate. There are some feelings that are too hard to ignore--too rare to be immune to--and one of those is sympathy. Sympathy and a eagerness to understand. (Though again, some people's qualities and actions continually surprise me--though they shouldn't. I should probably be used to them by now.)

Funny. I'm more like Simon--I don't give a darn what you think about me--I just live life because I don't think there's a point in wasting it on not-being-awesome. But we all have times when we just sink until we can't breathe, and Keep Holding On is it. It's beautifully heartbreaking and tragically sweet, subtly raging and fabulously daring. I'm in love with it and Noelle and Julian, and this book gives me so much strength--so unbelievably much--I'm still rocketing around on a I-CAN-DO-ANYTHING! high.

Life's weird. Life's stupid and gorgeous and obnoxious and endowing. Keep Holding On will guide you through the storms and find the rainbow. Maybe you'll even see a fish on your way there. A rainbow-spewing one, at that.

[Jasprit · Rating 4 out of 5]

Keep holding on tells the story of Noelle; whose had a tough life. Once she had the stable family lifestyle; a big house in a nice neighbourhood, she could invite her friends over when she wanted, a mother and a boyfriend who loved her, friends who wanted to know her and her mother was happy. But suddenly things spiralled out of control, due to unexpected circumstances, her and her mother were forced into a dingy apartment with hardly any money, and just had to live off what they could scrape by. The once respected and approachable mother now no-one wants to know, so she retreated into her inner shell, leaving Noelle to do everything for herself. This is when the bullying starts, having to fend for herself; doing the laundry, and barely having anything to eat, her former friends turn their back on her and the endless teasing and mocking begins.

Keeping Holing On was such a heart breaking read, the second half of the book actually took me longer to finish off compared to the first half because of the amount of times I had to stop to wipe away my tears streaming down my face, so I could read properly and then to constantly clear my kindle with all the tears dripping off on to it. If I were in Noelle’s shoes I know for sure I would not have been able to stick it out, day in day out she turned up to school, and tried to hold the facade that her bullies weren’t getting to her. And then go home and deal with the crap from her mother; her constant ranting of being a single mother, having to provide for her and Noelle, so they could have a roof over her head, she made me so mad, I’ve come across some abysmal mothers in YA reads recently but Noelle’s mother quickly made her way to the top of my list. She was so wrapped up in her own little self-centred world, that not once did she realise what was going on in front of her. You could say that the biggest trigger of Noelle being bullied was because of her mother’s lack of love, support and her attitude. She wouldn’t let her have her showers in the morning because it would wake her up and she could only get up at a certain time, (thus came the nick-name rotten egg) she wouldn’t drop her off to school if she was late (so she would turn up in a flustered, dishevelled state). Which mother could do that? At times she was so heartless, that I personally felt she had no right to call herself Noelle’s mother in the first place.

Sherae; Noelle’s friend was such a strong pillar of support. I truly admired her character, she had her own problems to deal with, but she was always there for Noelle, encouraging her to stand up for herself, comforting her when it all got too much and her small unexpected gestures truly sneaked their way into my heart. Everyone needs a best friend like Sherae.

Once I read the blurb, you’re given a hint into a major event that happens in the book, but even though you know about it, nothing can actually prepare you for it when it actually happens. I just can’t bring to words just how much I was affected by it, or the entire book for that matter. This book keeps you constantly questioning yourself afterwards with endless what ifs, what if I’d done something different that day or actually listened to her for once. But the what ifs can never bring a person back once they’ve gone, or the endless hurt created over time.

Keep Holding On was a poignant heart wrenching read that brings to the surface how bullying is still a major issue today; it can truly affect individuals so much that they see only one possible way out. But with the right support and encouragement in place you can bring a stop to the hateful bullying. I think Colasanti did a fantastic job with Keep Holding On; she didn’t end everything with a pretty little bow, but with a reasonable ending. You should have seen my kindle by the time I finished this book, literally half of it was highlighted with beautiful achy quotes. Despite the sensitive subject matters, I delved into Colasanti’s book and formed such a close relationship with Noelle, her words kept me mesmerised until the early hours of the morning until I finally went to sleep with big puffy eyes.

I truly recommend that you read Keep Holding On. It’s a breath taking moving book, that will keep you thinking about it for days afterwards.
A big thank you to NetGalley and Penguin group for giving me this amazing opportunity to read this one of a kind book.

I’ll end this review by leaving you with some of Colasanti’s reasons behind writing this book (taken from Susane Colasanti’s Keep Holding On twitter chat).

“It felt good to write about the things that made me so sad 20 years ago in Keep Holding On. And happy that the book could help others now”

“Writing the scenes in Keep Holding on that were inspired by my actual experiences was my way of turning negative into positive”

“My favourite thing about writing is the opportunity to reach out to teens and hopefully make them feel less alone”

“Inspiration comes from everywhere. My own experiences with being bullied inspired me into write Keep Holding On. Some actual stuff is included”.

This review and more can also be found on my blog: The Readers Den

[Rose · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a difficult review for me to write, probably on a few levels because I don't think there is a person who isn't touched by the subject of bullying and how damaging it can be to anyone subjected to it, whether they're young or older. I have to applaud Susane Colasanti for reaching out to kids/teens who are bullied or abused, and writing a book that focuses on the life of a teen who feels that her world's crashing down on her.

Unfortunately, I wish I could say that this was a better book to expound on the matter. It wasn't - I thought it was mediocre in its overarching presentation, even considering the age group it's intended for. While I think there are people who might appreciate the thematic that Colasanti builds within Noelle's situation without necessarily questioning some of the transitional points that the book takes, I couldn't overlook them because it threw me out of the book quite a few times as it went on. After a certain point, it didn't feel realistic anymore, but rather a heavy handed message that touched base on quite a few issues, but didn't have the emotional punch that perhaps other books who've tackled the subject of rape, child abuse, and bullying have had. The presentation felt haphazard and quite jarring (in a negative way) as the book went on. It's a shame because the story does start on a strong note and has some gripping moments that resonated with me long after I put the book down.

Noelle is a 16-year-old girl who has a very tough life; she comes from a poor family. Her mother is neglectful and wants nothing to do with Noelle, her boyfriend wants to constantly keep their relationship a secret, her teachers and classmates seem to overlook blatant showcases of bullying against Noelle, and she's ridiculed for her poverty. Noelle is fortunate because she has a friend (Sherae) and a potential love interest (Julian) who are looking out for her, though they have issues of their own and Noelle sometimes pushes them away so as not to show how bad her situation really is.

Here are my specific qualms about the book: I felt on one level it tried to take on too many subjects at once without really delving into them. As I mentioned previously, Colasanti deals with not only the overarching theme of bullying in the book, but also touches base on issues of rape, child abuse/neglect (in the case of Noelle and her mother), and suicide (I'm not going to spoil it for anyone, but it isn't shown with much dimensional sense of grief). For a book that tries to incorporate these elements and the moral lines that are crossed, it doesn't develop them by showing. It may be a case where I think Colasanti tries to take on too many of them within a certain amount of pages, and the message delivery is mechanical rather than natural. It tells the reader what conclusions to draw, rather than having the revelations and events speak for themselves.

Another thing - the blurb of this book says this is a romantic story: not by a long shot. The romance in this is very underwhelming. This disappoints me because Colasanti actually developed teen relationships quite well in her previous books, even on the romantic end. This book had me asking "What the heck happened?" as far as that was concerned. I don't think it was a measure of the focus on the tough subject matter because she's written books that had a decent balance between the tough subject matter and the relationships between her characters. In previous books of hers I've read, I noted that maybe if the tough subject matter was delved into a little more, the book could've come across better in points. Often times, it had to do with very little backstory (even in my favorite book of hers).

Here, it's a focus on the negativity and not on the organic nature of the relationships. They felt very loose, even among the secondary cast, and there were a few characters I liked seeing among that cast in a positive way, but it had a disconnect. Julian, the primary love interest, is barely within the story for a while and there's very little development or focus on his and Noelle's relationship. Granted, it is established that he's nice to her, and that she likes him and he likes her, but I wanted to know more about Julian than what was offered. Who was he as a character? What attracted Noelle to him? It's with this same hollow presentation that the guy that Noelle was with at the time (Matt) was using her in their relationship. The twist that came with Matt trying to keep their relationship a secret wasn't surprising, but I felt it didn't pack as much of a punch as it could've if the relationship structuring was deeper. I also didn't like that Noelle's self worth was contingent on whether Matt (or Julian) liked her. I'm not saying that doesn't happen to some teens on behalf of their self esteem issues, but it wasn't developed in this book. At the very least, I liked that Noelle's friend had enough sense to tell her how wrong this was, but the story didn't show Noelle's emotional shifts enough to have this hit home.

The biggest problem I had with this book was the overt message delivery. It's somewhat heavy handed in its presentation throughout the book, particularly in the last third of the novel, where the story felt rushed to reach a conclusion and tie things off on all the threads established. After a certain point, Noelle becomes more of a message giver than a teenager going through all of these tough issues and coming to terms with them on her own. There's even a point where Colasanti mentions Tyler in the book - and for those who know, the book is dedicated to the late Tyler Clementi, who committed suicide following acts of brutal bullying on the part of his sexuality. On one hand I'm glad Colasanti mentions it because it shows a current event that had a significant impact on many people in the brutality of bullying and what it could lead to, but at the same time it also felt like a bit of fourth wall breaking in the way that it was presented. I think kids/teens or anyone reading this book would still recognize the brutality and be able to make the connection of how bullying is wrong and how hurtful it is without being told repeatedly. Showing is one thing - and I think the parts where Colasanti shows what happens to Noelle and the abuse she endures (the part where Olivia threatens Noelle's hair made chills go down my spine). But I was so put off by the overt message/lesson delivery that it lessened the impact of the events.

And speaking of the ending of the book - no one recovers from bullying or what Noelle went through that quickly. I couldn't get behind how easy the resolution of events came in this novel. It didn't feel realistic and I think it was at that point where it lost quite a bit of impact with me, among other considerations.

I definitely like and support Colasanti's writing and books, but unfortunately, I didn't like "Keep Holding On" - I think there are much stronger examples of YA literature that show bullying in very gripping ways while giving a realistic portrayal of events and relationships in an even manner. I can see where others might like it because it touches base on the tough details and for what it's worth, the book has its moments of impact. For me, it just didn't have the emotional resonance and progression given its subject matter and the heroine who has to rise above the negativity.

Overall score: 2/5

Note: I received this as an ARC from NetGalley, from the publisher Penguin Young Readers Group/Viking.

[Drea · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars.

I've been bullied before. It got to the point where I've been suicidal and dreaded going to school. The bullying I went through in middle school is a big reason why I suffer from social anxiety to this day, and the anxiety was so bad, it got to the point where I tried my best to remain invisible in high school, and why a lot of days I was literally afraid to go to school because I was paranoid that people would put gum in my hair or steal things from my locker or laugh at my hair and my clothes and call me ugly, to the point where I ended up dropping out.

I also know what it's like to not have as much money as anybody else. most kids would shop at the expensive stores in the mall, places like Baby Phat and South Pole. I was stuck with Wal-Mart and the Goodwill (which was actually okay with me. they got some cute stuff at thrift stores!). I had bad, frizzy hair, wore glasses, and was generally awkward and geeky.

so I could relate to some of the things Noelle had gone through. I didn't have it as bad as her, but still, there were times where I would be reading and nodding my head, saying, "yep, I've been there before."

so then why didn't I like this book that much? It's not bad per say, I've certainly read worse books. I've read YA books centered around bullying, and most of them are super melodramatic and after school special-ish. one good thing about this book is that the bullying seemed realistic at times...but then other times Noelle herself was kind of ridiculous.

for instance: the money thing. she always talks about how there's never any food in the house, and at one point even says that she's malnourished. okay, I get that...so why not just get free lunch. if you're malnourished, then why not just forget about what people think and get the damn free food? She says she doesn't want to "subject herself to that kind of humiliation," but she's already getting made fun of for eating things like a lettuce and mayo sandwich. sure, they might make fun of her, but at least she'd have a full stomach.

and that's another thing that confused me. why would the kids at Noelle's school give a rat's ass that anybody has free lunch? I don't come from a super small, super rich town like Noelle, but in my school, nobody at all cared that anybody had free lunch. hell, even the rich kids got free lunch, because free food!

There's also a scene where Noelle talks about how her and her mother had gone grocery shopping with food stamps, and said how the cashier was all friendly and smiles with her mother, and then once he saw they had food stamps, shouted it to the whole store practically...who the hell does that in the real world? Also, how does she not have any food in the house when they have food stamps? My parents have food stamps, and trust me, you can get a ton of food with that. at first I thought it was because Noelle's mother was secretly spending all that money on drugs or something instead of food, but nope. (to be fair, though, her mother was pretty awful.)

and then there's Noelle's aversion to buying tampons...what's the big deal? Why is she so embarrassed? Sure, a lot of mom's probably buy their daughters feminine products like that, but I don't see the big deal on buying it yourself. at one point, Noelle is shopping with Sherae and talks about trying to sneak off so she can buy them in secret...why is she so ashamed? Sherae is her best friend, and she's also a girl. I'm sure she would have no qualms over giving Noelle a tampon or something. Noelle trusts her enough to confide in her about her living situation but not to ask for a tampon? Uh...okay.

As I said, though, there are some things that rang very true to me. Like when Noelle is talking about her unmanageable hair and being jealous over another classmate with perfect hair. It seems petty, but as someone with super thick, naturally curly, frizzy hair, I completely know what that's like. I spent almost all of middle school wishing I had shiny, naturally straight hair like all the other girls. (but then I got a flat iron and solved that problem.) I also understood how she felt whenever she sat alone at lunch, because I've been there, and how she would discreetly sneak glances to Julian without him noticing. I've SO done that with many people I've had crushes on.

But although I could relate to Noelle a few times, there were more times where I just rolled my eyes at her, even a couple times when I was kind of disgusted with her. Like how she just walked away when she saw Carly bullying Ali, and didn't want to help her because she was afraid of getting bullied even more. I was so shocked when Ali killed herself, and call me a terrible person for saying this but, I think Noelle should've felt a lot more guilty then she did. It wasn't her fault, of course, but she spent so much time talking about how she wished people would help her when they saw her being bullied and yet did nothing to help Ali. It was so hypocritical to me.

there were some things I loved about this book, and that was Simon and Ms. Scofield. Simon is somebody who I definitely would've been friends with if I went to high school with him. I loved his fashion sense, I loved how funny and caring he was, and I loved how he was so unabashedly himself without giving a shit what other people thought of him. Anybody who can confidently walk down the hall singing the Bee Gee's in a falsetto voice is a good guy in my book. I wish it was Simon who was the love interest instead of Julian. There was nothing wrong with Julian. He was sweet and likable, but Simon just seemed to have much more of a personality.

Ms. Scofield was wonderful, too. I mean, she gives lesson using Gumby and Pokey dolls! I wish she could've been my science teacher. I think I would've actually passed the subject. I love how she's a self-proclaimed geek and totally owns that. Her and Simon didn't seem like fictional characters to me, they seemed like real people, which was why I loved them both so much.

I liked Sherae a lot, too. she was a good friend but I'm not sure why she was never around when the bullying seemed to be happening.

Overall, this book was just okay. Nothing horrible, but it could've been better. In the end, the saving grace were the supporting characters.

[Cara]

Why do I always dislike the covers for this author's books? Hopefully the story makes up for it:)

[Regina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is not an easy read nor a light read, but it is a fast read. Maybe it was fast because I could not put it down. I started it one a Tuesday and finished it very early Wednesday morning. I needed to know what would happen and I felt completely invested in the characters. The audience targeted for this book is definitely young adult and the subject matter is mature young adult. But I think it still can appeal to adults, it appealed to me. This book rocketed me right back to my high school years. Susane Colasanti has a talent to put the reader directly in the main character's shoes and make the reader feel -- feel the torment, pain and joy that Noelle is going through.

Noelle is a neglected child. The neglect leads to serious grooming problems and this causes her to be a bully target at school. Colasanti captures perfectly what it feels like to be bullied, what it feels like to be helpless. Many times in this novel I was on the verge of tears for Noelle.

My only complaint about this novel is that in a way it read like an after school tv special. I do understand the author had an agenda when writing this book and that agenda is a good one. But the after-school-special-like feel of the book, pulled me out of the story occasionally. My other complaint is the tying together of the neglect and the bullying. I do see the connection, particularly in this book and it was done well but parental neglect is not the only cause of bullying. Children can be targets for a variety of reasons, but I don't feel like the author was saying this was the only reason Noelle was a target. Noelle's victim situation is clearly tied to her mother's neglect, which is a heartbreaking situation in itself without the bullying. One last thing about the book, I found it unrealistic. I know Colasanti was trying to instill hope and pass a long a message that things get better -- which they definitely do! I am just not sure that things get better while still in high school. In the end, the messages of not backing down, seeking help, reaching out to friends and teachers, not giving up and not surrendering power to bullies are excellent ones.

This was a quick read, an inspiring book and emotional connection. I recommend this book for all high school kids and adults who are interested in this subject matter.

[Melannie :) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very cute,but very expected. Not saying that "expected" is bad, though. The book is all about standing up for yourself and dealing with your insecurities and accepting you for who you are, weird and all.

I think it’s a great book for tweens. The writing is easy and fast-paced. Although I have some complains because this book might as well be called a series of unfortunate events because that was all it was, a range of situations in which a teen girl was bullied and the correspondent expected reactions. It felt like a bunch of unfortunate events put together instead of a book, or a story, you know what I mean? It just lacked depth. And sometimes it felt more like a lecture than anything, for example, all those words Noelle says at the end, when she gets all inspirational? Way cheesy. And the romance was nonexistent. Julian is supposedly in love with Noelle (he actually dropped the L word, no kidding) but there’s no relationship build-up and we never get to see what is that makes him love her.

But I still think it is a good book for teens, and I hope they get more of it than I did. And I am 100% on board of this anti-bullying train, and it’s awesome that YA authors are taking a part and writing stories that could possibly help teens everywhere.

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had higher hopes for Keep Holding On then what the book delivered. I was hoping for something more along the lines of Saving Francesca, Life Without Friends, Fat Kid Rules the World or Feeling Sorry for Celia. All of these books deal with tough life stuff without meandering into after school special territory. Celia cooked herself dinner which Noelle desperately could have learned to do for herself. I grew up in a "whatever you want to fix" childhood. I was also nicknamed "laundry girl" by my mom because that was my chore. I speak from experience that this is a needed skill. It was terrible her mother neglected her, and I understand the tension she felt but, still her expectations reminded me of the book Coraline. "Why don't you go ask your other mother if you want pancakes?"
I hate to be unsympathetic but, you have to suck it up and fend for yourself. By sixteen you should start learning life skills.
Noelle, please go buy your own tampons. You are sixteen years old. You even had a previous embarassing experience of bleeding on the seats. Periods come once a month. This story might have been better served had it been set when she was younger. It explained her low self esteem problems that her mother treated her that way but, it did not help the general helplessness in other areas.
Keep Holding On resembled the film Pretty in Pink with shades of Seventh Heaven mixed in with a Sweet Valley High book where Elizabeth helps a girl from the wrong side of the tracks.
I get that low self esteem and depression are frustrating issues. From the outside looking in people appear to have better lives than they do. This is an aspect we did not miss from Noelle despite reading the book from her perspective. She was wholly self absorbed throughout. This is exactly what her mother's problem was. They were clearly a lot alike if Noelle bothered to consider things from another point of view.
It was the best part of this book is when Noelle's counselor gets her to see her mother's side of the story.
Every guy in the school had a crush on her. She had the lit paper and a best friend. Her outlook on life was negative just like her mother's. The storyline about poor Ali was heartbreaking. She kept trying to reach out to Noelle who cruelly didn't want to be made fun of. This reminded me of that horrid film Welcome to the Dollhouse. Geeks are far crueller than popular girls were to me in school. I hated Noelle for this. She lost most of the sympathy I had for her.
Noelle was a character whose entire problem was needing to fit in to the exclusion of all else. For an example, she doesn't take advantage of school lunches because she was embarassed. When I was a youngster I was socially awkward and ignorant about things like social class. I bragged that I did not have to pay for my lunches and got them for free. I was a pretty stupid kid. I'm more like Haverchuck from Noelle's favourite show Freaks and Geeks going through my life oblivious and doing what I want to do. This girl watched this show obsessively, and didn't remember that awesome scene of Haverchuck and the grilled cheese sandwhiches? Do your own thing. People will always hate and will always try to stop people from doing what they want. You can't make them happy.
She did think the 'Lady L" song was meant to be romantic. That was not how I took Nick and Lindsey's relationship at all. I did like the Freaks and Geeks shoutouts nonetheless.

If I could I wish I could give each adolescent the gift of perspective.
1] If no one likes the bitchy girl terrorising the school then she isn't actually popular. [I got this from my older brother when I was in school. He was right on.] Popular means well liked.
2] If they don't want to be seen with you in public then dump them.
3] If someone threatens to kill themself if you dump them just be glad you got away from that manipulative control freak. Who knows what else they'd do? [Also advice from my brother]
4] No one is paying attention to you because everyone is too busy trying to deal. [I got this from my girl Buffy.]
5] It doesn't actually change after highschool... guys like the Walden guy are still going to be in the workforce.] Bullies who don't finess their cruelty end in jail but, most are just as nasty as they were in highschool. Everyone else is just trying to live their lives.
Noelle had very unrealistic ideas about the role adults play in society. Her inner monologues about adults who could have done something felt more like the author shaming teachers. Teachers have a tough enough time in American schools. We all wish we had a Melina Marchetta as a teacher in highschool but, the best most of us got were hippies that played Paul Simon live in Africa tapes while waxing our career opportunities at Taco Bell. I'd personally have liked a teacher like in Mean Girls as well.
Noelle was kidding herself that she'd help any kid when she turned her back on poor Ali. This girl never once put herself in someone else's shoes. This ended up being how I knew she was depressed. Depressed people are blind to everyone else. The book was very vague that she had a cutting box or meant to kill herself.
I found this particularly disturbing since having that as an option is not helpful despite what Noelle thought. I hated my mother for putting that out there as an option with her joint suicide proposals. I think it made my own depression problems much worse.
Yup, doing your own laundry, cooking and grocery shopping is normal. Right? It's not? Oh well. I lived. I think the best thing families and people can do for themselves is stop comparing themselves to others. It's always different on the outside.
I liked the sentiment this book was going for but, it didn't top the infamous scene from Pretty In Pink.
"I hope they shrivel up and fall off"
"You hope what shrivels up and falls of?"
"Her breasts... Miss Deeds."

[nick (the infinite limits of love) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read more of my reviews at Nick's Book Blog

Tackling a subject such as bullying is like walking on hot coal. Such books need to be able to evoke strong emotions in the reader and at the same time spread an important message. I finished reading this book yesterday and my feelings for this book are still very conflicted.

Noelle is a poor girl going to a school with rich kids. She is bullied on a daily basis by students at school and no one really knows the extent to which the bullying goes to. Things are not much better at home,as well. Her single mom cares about nothing but herself and as a result, there's basically never anything to eat. Soon a dramatic event at school forces Noelle to gain confidence and stand up for herself.

Noelle was one of the most confusing main characters I've ever come across. Part of me felt total sympathy for her, while the other part wanted to admonish her on several occasions. Although she was a smart and independent girl, she often baffled me with a couple of her poor decisions. She complained about how she had no food at home endlessly. However, at school she qualified for free lunch, but she refused to subject herself to such an "embarrassing" scenario. Honestly, I didn't see the logic behind that train of thought of hers. Would you rather eat or starve ? If I were in her situation, then I would have chosen the former. People who are starving don't care about humiliation. They care only about filling their stomachs. One other thing that struck me with her was the fact that she used $15 to buy a top instead of using that very money to purchase something to feed herself. She could also be very shallow at times, especially when it came to Ali, a fellow bully-victim. The girl was friendless and once attempted to talk to Noelle, but Noelle, knowing that Ali was yearning for friendship, dismissed her. In a way, that was hypocritical on her part. Despite all of the above, part of me also felt pity for her. She wasn't in a very pretty situation and some of the things that the bullies did to her was downright cold and heartless. Her voice was definitely raw and poignant. Her doubts, insecurities and pain were crystal clear and left my gut wrenching. I liked the fact that she shed her lack of self-esteem and gained some self-confidence, although it did take something major for that to happen, towards the end of the book. One character that truly won over me was Sherae. She was a fabulous and very devoted friend. Always there for Noelle, Sherae was the kind of person who was present to take Noelle in her arms whenever she would crumble down no matter what she was dealing with herself. Unlike the other kids at school, she didn't make assumptions about her friend and simply supported her by trying to make her happy.

What I loved most about Keep Holding On was the potent message it sent out. It's something important and I think that bully-victims can benefit from. In my opinion, it could maybe help them gain courage. Personally, I thought the bullying itself was well-illustrated with Noelle's feelings being intense and honest. The driving force that led to Noelle standing up for herself was heartbreaking, but the aftermath felt too rushed and seemed unreal. Part of me felt like all of Noelle's problems resolved way too fast while what I really wanted was for her to undergo a slow healing process with the aid of the people who loved her. Susane Colasanti manages to summon all sorts of emotions ranging from sorrow to blood-boiling anger in a way that makes the reader appreciate the book even with its flaws.

Keep Holding On might not be a perfect book, but it does deserve to be hyped because of the valuable lesson it spreads to teenagers and parents alike. I definitely think that it's a book that's truly worth reading.

[Marlyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hace semanas en una clase mi profesor de Televisión hablaba sobre el bullying, sobre la muerte del chico chileno Daniel, y yo hablé sobre el efecto de las palabras de nosotros en una persona. Nunca sabes como una persona va a recibir un comentario, quizá no sea su tu intención causar sufrimiento pero puede pasar.

Soy de las que piensa que somos responsables de lo que decimos pero no de lo que las personas interpreten. Comencemos a ser mucho más responsables con lo que decimos, con lo que escribimos, con lo que pensamos incluso, que nuestros juicios sobre una persona, sobre lo que come, sobre lo que viste, sobre lo que piensa no tenga eco. No importa lo que pienses o sientas sobre una persona, importa lo que esa persona es, piensa y siente.

La historia de Noelle es simplemente abrumadora, duele en el alma comprender que una persona vive eso, que piensa en la muerte como la única solución a su sufrimiento. Alguna vez escuché que los niños son las personas más crueles del mundo, y quizá tenga que ver con la sinceridad... no estamos acostumbrados a ella. Pero el bullying es mucho más que eso, acosar a una persona, hacerla sentir miserable cada día de su vida, demuestra lo débil como persona que eres.

Para mi la solución a este problema no está en las leyes, está en la educación de las personas, la mayoría de los lectores de este libro son adolescentes que están pasando por eso, o que quizá sean loa acosadores o los testigos silentes, pero todos son los futuros padres y madres de niños como Carly, enseñemos a nuestros hijos (y a nuestros hermanos) a que el respeto es básico para la convivencia... y que debemos respetar a todas las personas sin excepción incluso a aquellas que menos lo merecen... aunque no es el caso de Noelle, es quien más lo merece...

"El mérito no es ser un luchador incansable, sino en estar cansado y seguir luchando"

#Fuerza

[Kelly · Rating 2 out of 5]

This read so much like an after school special. The last chapter made me cringe a bit, even, since none of the words felt like the things Noelle would say.

Noelle is a poor girl in a small town going to a rich school. Her mom is terrible, she has no friends (except Sherae, sometimes), and she's bullied at school because of all of these things. The problem is, though, this story is all tell and no show. I never felt anything for Noelle because she never gave me much to feel for. Her situation sucked, but all I knew was her situation sucked. I needed more emotional investment from her.

Bullying is a heavy topic, but it wasn't really explored here to the extent it could have been. There were only a couple of scenes where bullying happens on stage; the rest is told to us. I didn't quite get a sense of the bullies in the story because they weren't fully-realized characters. They were stock bullies.

I have a hard time with stories that deal with class issues. Noelle comes from a single-parent household, and she repeatedly tells us how poor she is. The problem is, I never got to see it. I'm made to believe it by virtue of her not being as rich as the kids who go to her school. There are moments where it is almost there -- for example, when Noelle talks about the toilet being broken and her mother's lateness on rent keeping them from calling the landlord -- but the bulk of the story relied upon the reader simply listening to Noelle tell us about being poor. I really needed to "see" more of the world she was living in, both the world in which she lived physically and the one she lived in socially. Also, if her mother talked one more time about how hard it was to be a single mother, I was going to smack her. I get mother's role is the neglectful parent, but all she offered us was this. She could have been so much more powerful as a neglectful parent, and had she been, the depths of Noelle's pain would have been that much more obvious and emotionally-charged.

And then there was a really weird scene with Noelle and her period too which bothered me to no end. On one hand, I thought the mortification she felt about being unprepared was one of the more authentic moments of emotion for Noelle. I certainly felt for her. The thing was, I never bought the explanation for why her mother didn't buy her tampons. Mom was neglectful, but I just didn't buy this. Likewise, why wouldn't Noelle have some sort of money on her? She mentions later on when she's out at a diner with Sherae that it was "their diner" and they were regulars, which suggested to me that Noelle paid to eat out once in a while. There were a lot of disconnects between what Noelle said throughout the story that made the logic behind a lot of her explanations hard for me to grasp. This is where being told the story rather than being shown the story became problematic.

I didn't buy the turnaround, either. It felt too easy and I was bothered by the way Noelle became righteous out of no where. Her character was uneven. There was also her reliance on a guy in the end of the story that made her transformation weak -- she says as much as she NEEDED Julian to get through things. No. She didn't. She got through things herself. By putting her own power onto him, she only further weakens her own self-esteem and self-reliance and ... she returns to almost the same position she was in from the start of the story.

Also the Ali suicide I saw coming from miles away and there was absolutely no emotional thrust in this moment. I was so disconnected from it and while I saw the purpose of it (it did serve as a call to action for Noelle to change her situation), it felt convenient.

All of that said, Noelle's life sucked, and she didn't DESERVE any of the bullying she got. My problems with the story were not with what was at the heart of the book, but rather, the treatment of it.

This book didn't work for me, but I do think it'll work for younger YA readers looking for a story about how tough it is to fit in and what it feels like to be bullied. It's not a lighthearted story, but it's not going to leave more demanding readers satisfied. There are stronger stories about bullying out there.

[★Ruth★ · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have to say I had seen some great reviews of this and was really looking forward to a gritty read.

But unfortunately that is not what I got.

Noelle the main character was not likeable at all. She is, in my opinion, shallow. The things that she worries about like the fact that her hair isn't straight enough or her clothes aren't the nicest are pretty normal everyday teen problems. Or at least they were for me.

Yes she has a crap mother. Yes she is poor and yes the kids in school are mean to her. But it's as if the emphasis was on the wrong things. The author was more concerned, it seemed, by appearance and lack of tampons (what the hell was that all about! I always bought my own! or borrowed from my friends...really did get this AT ALL!) than the fact that the mom had nothing for her to eat and Stole all her money for college.....but again I had to pay my way through college so don't know why she was expecting her mum to pay in the first place!

And if you are that hungry why would you not use the free canteen food available to you?? Mind. Boggled.

Don't know why Julian fell in love with her, no real explanation and definitely no chemistry.

Aside from all this I did like the best friend Sherae and also Simon in the magazine and the teacher Ms Scofield.

Overall I think I like my books to be a little more hard hitting like Reason to Breathe or Miss Me Not

[tarawrawr · Rating 5 out of 5]

REVIEW ORIGINALLY POSTED http://hobbitsies.net/wordpress/2012/...

Keep Holding On by Susane Colasanti was an unbelievably heartbreaking and moving book. I was not bullied back in high school, and I didn't really know anyone who was, so Keep Holding On was also definitely an eye opener for me.

Through out the entirety of Keep Holding On, I just could not believe what was happening. People are truly this terrible to other people in high school? It was shocking and upsetting. Keep Holding On is definitely a book that needs to be out there in the world to give students hope.

As for the characters, I loved Noelle. She has a hard life and she's not sure what she's doing, but she's still so inspiring and brave for all the things she does. Even if sometimes they were too late. She was definitely the most genuine character I've read in a while. And I loved the natural build of the romance between Noelle and Julian.

Like I said, the story completely broke my heart. I ached for Noelle. I wanted to fix all her problems and yell at all the terrible people in her life. Through out Keep Holding On we really got to watch her grow and become a stronger person, and I loved that.

Overall, you should buy Keep Holding On by Susane Colasanti and give a copy to everyone you know. It's eye opening, moving, and inspiring. A wonderful contemporary.

[Mlpmom (Book Reviewer) · Rating 5 out of 5]

From the Author
“When I was a teen, I would have been mortified to admit that I was being bullied at school. My junior high and high school years were the worst time of my life. Kids picked on me for being a science nerd. They picked on me for not wearing the expensive sweaters and jeans everyone else had. They picked on me for doing weird things like writing song lyrics on my sneakers (this was back in the day before writing on your sneakers was cool). I was embarrassed by all the ways I didn't fit in.

I am not embarrassed anymore.

Writing Keep Holding On was my way of turning a negative experience into something positive. I want this book to reach out to teens who are going through hard times. I want this book to help people feel less alone. And hopefully, this story will encourage readers in need to keep holding on.”


I don't normally add author notes to my reviews but this one was so profound and so moving that I just had to.

To know that this truly heartbreaking book that I just finished, was based on real life experiences? Well everyone should be aware of that before starting this book.

It will make it that much more real, and sad and haunting. It really will.

I am going to admit something here, I had it easy in high school. I didn't even realize it at the time but especially after reading this story, I see that I did. I really really did. I was never teased or bullied or anything remotely cruel happened to me. I liked high school. I had a great time there. Lot of good memories and times I will never forget.

And no, I wasn't one of the mean girls and I wasn't even a cheerleader, although a lot of them were my friends. And no, we weren't mean either. At least I don't remember any of my friends every being cruel to anyone. I know if they had been, I would have said something.

Maybe my high school life was different from others. I would like to say that bullying didn't happen and that everyone was sweet and nice, but I know that isn't true either. I am not that naïve. I know I saw and heard things and I know that because they weren't my friends or people I even knew that I didn't always stand up for them or say something to make them stop. That I walked by and said or did nothing because I was in a hurry or because I don't like confrontation.

I am saddened by that now.

After seeing what all the other students and even teachers ignored during this book, sickens me. Especially the adults. As adults that is their job to help protect the students. To make sure no one is hurt. As an adult now and a parent I would hope I would say and do something if I was ever put in a situation where I saw someone being bullied. It really makes me sad that there are adult out there that are willing to take that stand. That they aren't willing to help when help is needed.

But now this review is turning into a rant and I didn't mean for that to happen.

So back to the book, back to what you really want to know.

Did I love this book?

Absolutely.

Did it make me sad and mad and even happy at time and frustrated at others and maybe just about every other emotion I can think of?

Sure did.

I love it when a writer can do that. When they can reach down into the very depths of your soul with their words and maybe even make you see and believe things you never thought you would. Make you see things in a whole other light.

And while my heart went out to Noelle and everyone else that was picked on or bullied throughout this story, a small part of me couldn't help but want them to fight back too. I was mad that they didn't stand up for themselves. That they didn't seek help and want things to get better enough to do something about it. I know that isn't a great feeling to have and yes, I know that isn't always the ideal thing to think can happen but yet...

Yet I couldn't help having that feeling that them just ignoring the problem and hoping it will go away wasn't the right thing for them to be doing either. That seldom every works in life.

So while I liked Noelle a part of me couldn't help feeling that she needed to help herself too. That she needed to fight back and say something. Do something. Either with her mom, her friends. I don't know.
Something.

I was upset that she didn't fight. That she didn't try to help herself in that way that only she could.

Does that even make sense?

Maybe it doesn't. Maybe I am being a little naïve and reading too many books about kick butt heroines who don't take any crap. I think I have come to expect it in stories now, even when I know real life doesn't always work that way. And doesn't work that way for many people that have a life like Noelle's.

Again, I think that is what made this book so frustrating for me and heartbreaking too. I felt like the whole time I was reading it, I was on the verge of tears.

I am so thankful this wasn't a terribly long story, I don't think I could have handled it if it were.

But then, right when I thought I couldn't take anymore, things to start to change. Ms. Scofiled. I love her. That is all I am going to say, because well, I don't want to give the whole story away but I will say, I love her and Julian, Simon, Sherae.

I love that things did get better. That Noelle turned into the person I wanted her to be. I wanted her to see that things could be better. I wanted her to see that sometimes even though it seems like evil wins, it doesn't have to. Good can prevail. Sometimes it just needs a little push in the right direction.

Once again Colasanti proves how wonderful a writer she really is and while she will always be a favorite. Why I will always pick up one of her books and know that inside there will be a great story. One that will more than likely move me and make me think. Make me laugh and make me cry too.

This is a book that I will make sure my daughters read when they are older. This is a book that could very well change someone's life.

[Brooke · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book broke my heart in a hundred and sixty-five different ways. It’s the first book I’ve read that’s shown the emotional and the physical effects of bullying and it really got to me.

Noelle is constantly bullied at her school. Whether it’s because of the outfit she wore that day or the sandwich she packed, there’s always this punk ass kid, Warner, there to make her feel like crap. She’d much rather avoid lunchtime humiliation and I can attest that when you have no friends in your lunch period, the bathroom seems like a good option. And that’s where Noelle finds herself, avoiding the cafeteria and eating her lettuce sammie in the girl’s room. *insert sniffle*

But then good ol’Simon Bruckner comes along! And he invites her to join the school’s literary magazine, which they’d have to work on during the lunch period. HUZZAH! An offer Noelle can’t pass up! I saw Simon as a Godsend and I think Noelle did too! He’s just this super nice kid and I personally loved him and his skinny ties! :P

Considering that Noelle bypasses the lunchroom you’d think she’d be in the clear right? Wrong. Warner wasn’t the worst of her problems, there’s also a witch named Carly. And she threatens/verbally attacks Noelle almost on a daily basis. Oh my gosh. I wanted to reach through the pages and strangle her. She was terrible.

The underlying problem for Noelle is that she’s living in this community where everyone is extremely wealthy and she’s very low class. She can’t afford healthy food, “stylish clothes” or even feminine products. She uses a crate as a nightstand, and she’s lucky if she sneaks a shower in the morning or if her laundry gets done. She’s embarrassed by all of this, so she tries to hide it from everyone, even her best friend. Oh! And she also has an absolutely horrific mother. For some reason I just can’t deal with mom’s who neglect their kids. At home, Noelle is basically invisible unless her mom wants to go off on some kind of tangent. I will not accept this. *insert chest pains*

Thank heavens for her best friend, Sherae, though! Even if it took awhile for Noelle to open up to Sherae, she eventually did. Sherae was there to pick up some of the pieces and was just a really good friend. (I very much would like to go over to her house for some chocolate cake.)

Throughout the book there’s also this adorably nice boy named Julian. *sighs* He’s the sweetest little thing. He was always giving Noelle compliments or talking to her about things she loves, and then….one night….he calls her and asks her out! Problem is, she’s sorta secretly seeing a douche-tool named, Matt. UGH. That was the suckiest relationship in the history of ever. For multiple reasons. Thank goodness it
ended.

After her fall out with Matt comes a turning point the story. A scene where a couple of girls ambush Noelle at the bus stop and shoot paintballs at her. It was so painful to read. Not only because she actually got attacked but because she actually thought the guns were real. She didn’t even attempt to run. She didn’t even try to fight for her life in that moment. Giving up would’ve been easier. *insert MASSIVE tears here*

THIS POOR GIRL. I don’t want to give too much else away except that something major happens to someone Noelle knows and it kind of changes her whole perspective. She learns that she needs to stand up not only for herself but for other people who are bullied as well.

By the end of the book she also learns that keeping people at a distance isn’t the best way to live and she finally let’s Julian into her life. He is perfection. He’s passionate about the things he loves, he’s considerate of other people and he gives Noelle a second chance. HEARTS, HEARTS, HEARTS. I heart him.

Overall, Keeping Holding On is a powerful story about never giving up and learning to stand up for yourself. With loveable characters, deep-rooted issues and a bit of romance, this book packs an emotional punch! I definitely recommend it!

[Katie G · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book. I was never really bullied in school, but I know what it's like to have no friends and sit alone at lunch, so I had high hopes for this book, even if I hadn't enjoyed the last one that I read by Colasanti. I will give her credit for not having the same romantic plotline as in the last two books that I read. There were also some parts of the book that I enjoyed.

As a whole, though, I felt like this book was lacking. The first three quarters of the book is practically nothing but a detailed account of how miserable Noelle's life is. I hated her mother. I hated the people at her school. I even hated her at times. I can understand staying with a guy who treats you badly because you feel that no one else would want you, but she clearly has another guy who wants her - and it's the guy she actually likes - so I found that whole relationship really frustrating, even after she admits the real reason she was scared to date him. I also don't like that she was just handed a job as co-editor of the literary magazine.

It's not until the very end of the book that she starts telling the truth and going after what she wants, and by that point I just feel like Colasanti comes on a bit too strong with her message of "bullying is bad and you can't let them get to you and things will get better." Colasanti has said that she drew on her own experiences writing this novel, and I can understand why she would feel passionately about the message that she's trying to convey, but I just feel the ending was a bit much. I didn't want to read about Noelle yelling me how to live my life. I would have rather seen her learn for herself. A simple "I couldn't let them bother me" would have been better than "you can't let them bother you," at least in my opinion.

I suppose this might be a good book for teenagers who are feeling suicidal. For me, though, it was a bit heavy-handed and not all that pleasant to read about as a whole.

[Katy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a bit heavier than I was expecting. I was prepared for a sad book that would tug at my heart, but this book was just downright depressing.

I think in a way, Colasanti does a pretty good job of showing what some kids go through in school. However, some of it was a bit too extreme. I know some kids have a really difficult life at home and in school, but I kind of wished Colasanti had made it just a tad less because it would have been more realistic. Bullies have their targets, but it seemed like pretty much the whole school was against her.

Noelle sort of irritated me because she was so whiny. At the same time, I do sympathize with her, and I understand that with the difficult home life and the bullying at school.

But I do find it a bit hard to believe that she would get over it so quickly. Yes, a real tragedy struck, waking her up from this daze of hers. But it seems like everything fell into place easily - home, school, boys, even Matt defending her. I'm sure it opened her eyes, but at the same time, realistically, people in these situations do not get over it that quickly because they have been damaged for so long. Things like these take time to heal, and I felt her "recovery" was too rushed.

Still, not a bad book at all. I enjoyed it in a sad kind of way.

[- ̗̀ bibliophile ̖́- · Rating 3 out of 5]

(ACTUAL RATING 3.5 STARS)

This novel shattered my heart and left me crestfallen. This book follows Noelle who lives a horrible life and has to face numerous hardships. This book resolves around bullying and first love. Noelle felt humiliated and thought that she did not fit in with everyone else. Being the daughter of a single mother was very difficult for Noelle as she couldn't afford most things that others could and had a mother that did not treat her well. She was very much insecure about her self and had a mindset that nobody would find her interesting. This novel portrays how bullying is a major issue in our society, and the impact it has on us. The relationship aspect of the novel was lacking as I felt that not much information was provided about the love interest. It can be very hard to write about such a heavy topic but the author wonderfully illustrated the topic with the actuality of the effects. This book represents all the struggles of being bullied (especially as a teenager) and the mistreatment in relationships. This novel did have it's flaws but it is a book that must be read because of it's message and honest writing.

[Rachel Finney · Rating 4 out of 5]

After reading The Girl on the Train, I needed a fluffy YA contemporary to calm my nerves. I'm not going to lie, it was incredibly cheesy at times and a little unrealistic, but it was a fun read. The ending wasn't the best, but I flew through this book. Susane is always an author I turn to when I want a smile and I will continue to do that <3.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking!

Bullies suck!!

[Sarahdactyl ♥ · Rating 3 out of 5]

♥ Find my reviews on Blogger ~ Reviews by Bookish Sarah

- - -

Noelle has been the victim of bullying for awhile now. When her stepfather passed away, Noelle and her mother had to move to a small apartment and cut down on the luxuries they'd previously been used to. Living in a wealthy area, this didn't go over so well for Noelle at school - where fitting in is the key to being popular and liked. Almost everyone is the same: rich, spoiled, snobby, and dressed to the 9's in their name-brand clothing. The few people who don't fit into this mold are harassed.

Noelle's home life is no better. Her mother treats her horribly, neglects to buy her the things she needs (deodorant, feminine hygiene products, clothes, etc.), and Noelle has to scrounge around for her lunch every day so she won't starve.

Noelle is just about fed up. She's fed up with her life and dealing with the fear and embarrassment of each school day. Fed up - until an outside force changes everything. Puts it all into perspective, if you will. Noelle decides it's finally time to take a stand. The question is, will it help her situation or make things 100x worse?

- - -

This review is going to be difficult for me. I liked this book, but I had some major issues with the protagonist and her supposedly “poor” status. This will not be short, and it will not be sweet. It's ranty - you have been warned.

Okay. Definite spoilers ahead!

First of all, the facts do not add up. The quality of Noelle's home life, the poorness, the neglect. I think there were too many contradictions present for the picture Colasanti was trying to portray to come across. In addition to that, I had trouble connecting with Noelle and even liking her. Quite frankly, I was irritated with her through most of the novel.

Specifics:

- Noelle tells us that her mother has foodstamps, but, supposedly, their cupboards and fridge are bare? I don't have personal experience with foodstamps. I did, however, work at a grocery store for over 4 years and during that job dealt with foodstamps many many times - from my experience on that end, foodstamps can get you A LOT of food, okay? A LOT. So I find it unrealistic that there was never anything more than a bottle of mustard and a couple ends of a bread loaf. This brings me to another issue...

- Noelle complains on multiple occasions that she has nothing for lunch. Nothing to bring, because the cupboards are bare. Well, the girl clearly stated that she qualifies for FREE LUNCH at school but doesn't take advantage due to embarrassment. I find this unrealistic as well. If this girl is as starving and malnourished as we're supposed to believe, bullying or not, I think she'd suck it up and eat the damn free lunch. Even if she wouldn't, this makes it hard to sympathize with her character; hard to truly feel bad for her. Beggars can't be choosers, no?

- Another reason I disliked her is because she was hypocritical. She complains many times (at least 3 times within just the first 20% of the book) that people see her being bullied but ignore it and don't help her. Well, when she sees another student being bullied, she does the same thing. Looks the other way. Why on Earth would you expect someone to do for you what you would not do for them? NOT COOL. Another hypocritical sort of thing she did was make fun of one of her teachers for wearing the same pair of pants twice in one week, but then turns around and complains that she only has 5 long-sleeve shirts that she has to alternate between - because of lack of money. Well, who the hell is she to assume her teacher has enough money to buy more pants? I would think someone in her situation would be more sensitive, that's all.

- One last thing I have to mention about why I disliked this girl so much. There was one part where Noelle and her mother were eating supper; spaghetti and garlic bread. Noelle proceeds to complain that - GOD FORBID!! - they are eating pre-packaged garlic bread. WHAT A TRAVESTY!!! *eyeroll* - this sounds like something only a stuck-up, spoiled rotten, snob would say. NOT a poor girl who BARELY EATS. Right? Then pages later.. PAGES LATER.. she talks about how she has to tame her hair with lots of “product”. Well, instead of buying so much of your beloved hair product, go buy some food! If you're soooo poor, prioritize!

I just had so much trouble sympathizing with, connecting with, or even liking Noelle. Maybe I am being way too nit-picky, but I couldn't read 10 pages straight without being irritated by this girl. It wasn't until the last 15% or so that I actually began to like her.

DESPITE all of my complaints about Noelle, the book as a whole does portray a really wonderful message. I was bullied in school, so stopping or minimizing the amount of bullying in schools is something I am very passionate about personally. What that characters ended up doing to spread the word about bullying was creative, inspiring, and something that could work in real life. It'd be a wonderful way to help give insight into what bullying can do to someone and how victims of it are not alone.

I also appreciated the message about the hierarchy in schools; the cliques. I like that Colasanti worked a romance into the story and did it with an unlikely match. Love doesn't care about cliques and hierarchy. ♥

Overall, I think the premise is great. I think, as a whole, this book covers some issues that need to be covered. The protagonist and her situation weren't easy to connect with for me. I think, as someone who was bullied for the same reasons Noelle was (second-hand clothes, bad hair, not wealthy, etc.), I should have been able to connect easy peasy. I admit to being nit-picky sometimes, but honesty is honesty, and this is what I think. Regardless, this book is one that I think many readers will enjoy. The book is well written and Colasanti has a wonderful writing style. She knows how to interweave multiple plot threads and bring everything together in a fantastic ending that had me finally warming up to the protagonist. I'd recommend this book simply for the message it conveys. It's also a quick and satisfying read.

- - -

Book source: NetGalley
Publisher: Viking Juvenile/Penguin Group USA

[Lyn *Nomadic Worlds · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't like the MC. I know what it feels like to be bullied, I've been there and it was hard to stand up for myself. But this girl, she didn't stand up for herself until the very end. Most of all, the good things that happened to her was pure luck. Good luck was on her side but I keep thinking, what if she didn't have that good luck? how would she have fared then? She had a best friend who was there for her, people who cared about her who helped her without seeming to. But she just kept her head down and didn't fight for herself. I had to fight for everything in my life, on my own. I'm sorry, I just can't like her.

[AuroraIce]

Bookshelf reread.

This book was easy to get through. The writing style isn’t super deep or “show instead of tell”, but it is fast-paced and it accomplishes what it needs to.

It follows Noelle, who is a poor kid in a rich town where everyone tries to fit in. Her dad is a junkie I think who was never in her life, and for a short time her mom was with a much older guy and they lived with him until he died and willed all his things to his own children, so they had to leave. Rather than find a new town, her mom started renting a small second floor place for cheap from an old lady and working at a market of some sort.

Ever since then, she’s been angry, never really talks or looks Noelle, just complains about her job, and blames Noelle for ruining her life by being born. There is rarely food in the house, most of the good things are in her mom’s room where she risks angering her mom, she has to do most things herself without knowing how, etc. When they first became poor and her mom tried to be secretive about it, Noelle also told people her mom was sick to explain things away, until a friend’s mom saw her and told everyone that Noelle was lying before she could take it back, so all her friends abandoned her except Sherae.

Sherae is good and has noticed some things and discreetly tries to help out, which Noelle doesn’t realize. Sherae is also having her own issues ever since her previously nice boyfriend took things too far and now he won’t leave her alone or understand why she never wants to be near him again.

Noelle is secretly dating bad boy Matt, who wants to keep things a secret, while she prefers Julian who clearly likes her back. She thinks she’s not pretty, yet several boys have liked her. A boy a few grades ahead once asked her out, but she told him to ask people about her first, and after he did he didn’t speak to her again. I don’t get it. But if someone likes her after knowing her “loser” status, maybe she should consider that.

She convinces Matt to go on a date with her, but he never shows up and people from school see her so it’s obvious she was stood up. She tries not to make a big deal of it to Matt when she leaves a voicemail, and he doesn’t reply to her for several days, or a week, and then shrugs it off as him chickening out, even though he never bothered to contact her and let her know he was backing out, or return her call to know what had happened. She allows this because she’s so desperate not to be dumped, even though Julian has also asked her out but she rejected it because she had a boyfriend, but didn’t fully explain that.

Then big bully Carly tells her friend Audrey that Noelle and Matt are always sneaking off, so Audrey finds them and it turns out she’s Matt’s girlfriend, who he actually likes, and he completely ditches Noelle, proving he doesn’t care about her, to chase after Audrey. No one believes that Noelle had no idea, especially after Audrey used to be her friend before she joined the bad crowd and blamed her for eating all her Valentines chocolate from her crush, assuming that meant Noelle was jealous when Noelle was just starving.

News spreads, warped, and Julian tries to ask her about it but she answers poorly, but not poorly enough for his angry storm off.

She’s been trying to avoid the lunchroom, and rich but nice Simon invites her to join the lit mag during that period, and he brings extra food because he’s “indecisive and always orders too much”, so he shares it with the others. She is oblivious that he’s ordering extra because he can tell she needs it. Her stomach often growls in class and certain people check her lunch so they can make fun of it.

I liked Simon and would have liked them to end up together. I thought maybe he wasn’t straight so that was why they wouldn’t be a couple, but by the end he was interested in Sherae, and while she did deserve a nice guy, that combo felt too typical and there was no leading into it, whereas there was actual interaction between him and Noelle. I would prefer him over Julian because Julian only served the purpose of being Noelle’s crush. They both liked art, and Julian liked her despite her being a “loser”. That was it. He got no other personality or identity than that. Simon did.

Noelle always planned to be a teacher so she could be a good one as opposed to the ones who see her get bullied and do nothing.

After the Matt thing, Audrey retaliates with a paintball driveby at the bus stop where Noelle is the only high schooler. Noelle thinks it’s a real gun and keeps standing there to get hit anyway. She ends up going to the school nurse and has to lift her shirt so she can better see the bruises, and the nurse it shocked by her protruding bones from being malnourished, which you only get told near the end of the book.

Carly later comes and harasses her in the empty lit mag room. After that Simon doesn’t leave her alone in there for more than a few minutes at a time, even though I don’t know if Noelle actually told anyone it happened.

She’s not the only bully victim, and she often joins up in group assignments with Ali Walsh, who’s nice but has bad skin and is therefore treated much worse than her. Carly is aggressively physical against Ali whereas she only says mean things to Noelle. (It’s said that Carly beats up her younger brothers, and it’s wrong, but by the end no one ever does anything to fix that, just calls out Carly and knows she won’t change). Noelle likes Ali and is invited to her house often, but she always refuses because she knows being friends with Ali would make the bullies target her worse, so Ali’s alone.

Then in chapter 19, Ali kills herself.

When some people act sad when the grief counselor comes to talk to them, Noelle snorts because the counselor says they blame themselves when there was nothing they could do, and she knows that’s not true. After this she decides to be done putting up with everything and start being honest and not caring about the opinions of people she doesn’t like and won’t see ever again after she graduates.

She confesses her situation to Sherae, who admits the little bit she had guessed and wants to help more. Sherae pushes her to talk to Julian and he decides to give her another chance. The counselor calls in Noelle’s mom to talk to her about how she thinks Noelle’s a suicide risk and is malnourished, and her mom’s angry to be accused of neglecting her daughter. Despite not wanting to be put into state care, Noelle opts for honesty.

She always says she’s afraid of her mom’s wrath, but she confronts her several times throughout the book, and had always accused her of neglect. After hearing Noelle might be suicidal, her mom tears apart her room and finds her “secret box” she’s references throughout the book, finally revealing what’s in it: an exacto knife, a bottle of pills, something else. Noelle says it comforted her but claims she wasn’t going to ever follow through. Ali’s death was a wakeup call for her, and her mom puts in effort after that and Noelle learns to cook.

One of the bullies is named Warner, which would have excited me if I hadn’t read the second Shatter Me trilogy, so instead I didn’t immediately notice that was his name. I didn’t get him. Some characters just lacked depth, and that was all the characters mostly.

Despite her situation, Noelle was fairly spoiled. Sherae stuck by her side and was always taking her places so she could get what she needed, constantly offering to pay, and letting her come over and eat to her heart’s content and spend the night and borrow everything. Simon took care of her and fed her.. She had it hard, but she was never alone. People looked out for her. A nice teacher pulled her aside to give her reassurance and tell her she was always there to talk.

I didn’t get the impression Ali got that same treatment. She had no one while Noelle had a lot of people. So that kind of bothers me.

What I always remembered from my first read was her dinner of wet/stale spaghetti, and that her mom brought home McDonald’s and Noelle started crying while eating it and saying it wasn’t real food and she shouldn’t have to eat this crap.

She also said boiled hotdogs and frozen fries weren’t real food, nor were bright orange carrot cubes. I have eaten all of those things for dinner. They’re food. Some of them I look forward to. Tons of poor, middle class, and even wealthy people can eat these foods as legit meals and be perfectly happy with it. For someone who was starving, Noelle complaining that those perfectly normal foods weren’t real food and she shouldn’t have to live this way felt a little pampered.

I think the first time, I read a review of someone pointing that out, how when you’re really starving, you’ll swallow down everything with relief and just be glad you have any food at all. Everyone’s different though, so I won’t say anything more on that.

Another one of her complaints was that the only shower was in her mom’s bathroom, and her mom didn’t like her using it and waking her up in the morning, so she either had to shower at night or wash up in her bathroom sink instead. She wanted to shower in the morning like a “normal person”. It’s perfectly normal to shower at night. It’s a matter of preference, and while her preference was mornings, that doesn’t invalidate that night showers are perfectly normal and cleanly. It’s not like she’s going to get filthy while she sleeps. It seems like a nitpicky complaint for her to have. I guess it could have to do with her frizzy hair? Maybe she feels it’s better under control if she showers before school?

The cover picture does not match what she describes.

She goes to get a haircut and describes what she wants with drawings to the guy who doesn’t speak much English, then reads a magazine the entire cut only to be horrified by the outcome once he’s done. This doesn’t matter much, I just think it’s weird that she paid no attention to the cut and trusted this guy who very likely didn’t understand her. Or that he didn’t check in, and thought what he assumed she was suggesting was normal. Apparently it was widely agreed upon that it was a legit awful cut and she was insecure about it for the rest of the book.

The point of this story was to encourage and give hope to outcasts and victims of bullying and other high school struggles. Not just high school, but it kept emphasizing teens, so it feels like an exclusive direction. The author also seems to have written it to address some of her own struggles and tell people it gets better. This is good, it just didn’t really resonate with me. The things that were said to inspire hope felt generic, and the style of writing felt like it was written just to get it written. I can’t make that assumption on the intentions of the writer, that’s just how it came across to me.

A lot of these are complaints, but I did speed through the book and looked forward to reading it. I would have finished it a lot faster if I wasn’t alternating between 9 books at once. I decide to go ahead to break my pattern for this one and just read the rest of it though, because I think it was the one I was most enjoying.

[Liviania · Rating 3 out of 5]

The core of KEEP HOLDING ON on is solid. Noelle is being bullied because she eats and wears the wrong things because she's poor. She needs an adult to get involved or to find a way to stand up herself to stop the bullies. Reading about the bullying is pretty brutal and you can tell why Noelle is reluctant to trust people.

Meanwhile, the only thing she really enjoys is making out with Matt and hanging with her best friend Sherae. But Matt keeps her secret and Sherae has her own boy problems. (I feel like Sherae's issue, which is serious, gets glossed over in favor of Noelle's issues. KEEP HOLDING ON is a very short book that could've been much bigger to cover its ambitions.)

The central romance isn't really there. Noelle starts the book crushing on Julian, and he's clearly into her, but she thinks she isn't good enough for him. That's basically it for their interaction until Noelle is ready to give Julian a chance. The romance is a way to keep track of Noelle's character growth rather than a plot in its own right.

But my biggest problem with the book is Noelle herself. "I qualify for free lunch, but there's no way I'd subject myself to that kind of humiliation[,]" she says (4, ARC). But people make fun of her anyway, for eating things like a lettuce sandwich or a mayo and mustard sandwich that clearly indicate she has nothing else to bring. "I try to hide my sad sandwich under the table. That just makes them laugh harder (5)." If she's already humiliated by her lunches, then the free lunch isn't a big deal.

But it's one of the repeated complaints she makes about and to her mother. "Do you realize I have to make mayonnaise and mustard sandwiches for lunch? Do you have any idea how humiliating that is? (159)" No, she doesn't have to eat that for lunch. Her mother doesn't buy lunch stuff because she gets free lunch. Not to mention the federal free lunch program includes breakfast. Noelle could be eating two good meals a day. And the stuff she complains about at home - spaghetti with prepackaged garlic bread, McDonald's, hot dogs and frozen fries - are the same things many people without much money eat. Yes, it's low in fruits and vegetables, but it's what's cheap and easy to put on the table after working all day. Poor people tend to be bigger because the food they have access to has poor nutrition.

Perhaps this really annoyed me because I attended a school far less affluent than Noelle's. For many of my friends, the free breakfast and lunch was their food for the day. If they got hungry at night, they'd have to do something like heat up a can of tomato sauce. But Noelle has actual meals in front of her and acts like its a huge imposition to eat prepackaged garlic bread.

I could maybe ignore this, but Noelle also annoys me because she acts hypocritically. Noelle's other big complaint is that no one ever steps in to stop the bullying. She's been isolated from her peers and understands that that is one of the bullies' most powerful weapons. Yet, Noelle repeatedly sees her friend Ali bullied and not only doesn't step in, she rebuffs Ali's gestures of further friendship to avoid being tainted by association.

I don't expect a high school character to be perfect, especially not one who has had her self-esteem beaten down. But Noelle's constant complaints, when she was manufacturing one of her biggest problems, were kind of hard to take. I was happy that things got better for her, but I was also happy the book was over so that I could get out of her head. Noelle might not grate on someone else the way she did me. And, as I said at the beginning, the central message of KEEP HOLDING ON is solid. I think teens struggling with being bullied will connect with the story.

[Cecelia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have a bad habit. And that bad habit is not talking about the books I read in between the YA and middle grade fantasy that I mention in reviews. Oh, I’ll do it now and then – hey look, I reviewed a Sarah Dessen book…once! And I really like Brendan Halpin and Julie Halpern, now that I think about it. But usually I don’t write those reviews of contemporary YA. And that means that you don’t hear the Sarah Dessen and Susane Colasanti books that I gobble up as if they’re cotton candy. Or the Georgette Heyer (historical!) or Betty Neels (charmingly innocent & old-fashioned!) romances, either. But hey, today is all about the confessions.

It’s also about Susane Colasanti’s latest read, Keep Holding On, which I just finished. And am reviewing. Rightnow.

Noelle Wexler has been bullied for years, and she’s marking off the days until the end of high school. Her home life is horrendous, her nemeses at school are making life hell, and all the while she’s having a tough time believing that there IS something better out there. That she can be worthy, and move beyond, and even just keep holding on. When events come to a head and a choice must be made, Noelle has to fight inertia and act – otherwise she might not survive.

Colasanti has written a book that faithfully replicates the voice and actions of a depressed, bullied young adult. Noelle’s thoughts are honest and in cases self-harming, and the feelings they evoke are both horrible and true. It is HARD to read these words – they are a physical weight and portray exhaustion with life, with trying to overcome, with making due. It’s all scarily real. And that is, by far, the triumph of the book – in making those heavy, hard things accessible and open to those who have never experienced them.

What are less-than-memorable elements, then? The plot, Noelle’s fellow characters, the ending and the final character development. Noelle’s story ends semi-happily and in a hopeful place, a transition that does not seem authentic in the short space of the book. There’s a lot of happy-speak and positive self-talk that takes time to develop in real life, but which Noelle spouts off the cuff one day. Noelle finds herself in a network of supportive friends – after being excluded and bullied for years. It’s… wishful thinking. Not dangerously optimistic, just unrealistic.

The unfortunate side effect of wrapping everything in a pretty bow after showcasing the very real horrors of bullying is that it makes the book less effective and less enjoyable than it had the potential to be. Awesome bit: Noelle’s voice, especially in the first ¾ of the book. Not as awesome? The finale. Although the reader is meant to feel hope and possibility at the end, there is instead a pervasive feeling of something along the lines of ‘deflated balloon.’ Weird mental picture, I know, but it fit (at least for me).

Recommended for: confirmed Susane Colasanti fans, devotees of Sarah Dessen, those who want to hear a genuine, hurting voice of a bullied teen, and anyone who likes their sad hearts completely mended upon conclusion of the story.