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Who's in Your Room? Revised and Updated: The Question That Will Change Your Life
People may be out of your life, but they're still in your head. Learn how to control the ongoing psychological impact of all your relationships and achieve happiness, success, and fulfillment.
Who’s in Your Room? is a metaphor and a method for understanding how our relationships, past and present, impact our lives.
Imagine that you live your entire life in one room. Inside are all the people with whom you have ever had a relationship. The room is infinitely large, and anyone you let in will be in your room for the rest of your life. Neurologists report that as far as your brain is concerned, the metaphor is real—memories and emotions continue to influence you, for better or worse, long after their external cause has disappeared. So who do you want in your room?
Stewart Emery, a pioneer of the human potential movement, and Ivan Misner, known as the father of modern business networking, present a highly effective process for determining who should be in your room, where in the room they should be (close to the door or off in a corner?), and how to shape your room to reflect your values and your life’s purpose. This tool has unlimited usefulness for taking control of your life.
Who’s in Your Room? is a metaphor and a method for understanding how our relationships, past and present, impact our lives.
Imagine that you live your entire life in one room. Inside are all the people with whom you have ever had a relationship. The room is infinitely large, and anyone you let in will be in your room for the rest of your life. Neurologists report that as far as your brain is concerned, the metaphor is real—memories and emotions continue to influence you, for better or worse, long after their external cause has disappeared. So who do you want in your room?
Stewart Emery, a pioneer of the human potential movement, and Ivan Misner, known as the father of modern business networking, present a highly effective process for determining who should be in your room, where in the room they should be (close to the door or off in a corner?), and how to shape your room to reflect your values and your life’s purpose. This tool has unlimited usefulness for taking control of your life.
- GenresBusiness
208 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2014
24 people are currently reading
88 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
March 7, 2025
I'd go 3.5 on this one.
It's usually the kind of book I dislike, the "trendy business managerial book of the month" sort that is sooo formulaic and sooo self-promoting and sooo full of overenthusiastic cliches. TBH, I can't even say why I checked it out of the library except that I found the title intriguing.
Surprisingly, it has some substance. I can't say I'm fully on board at all -- especially with the formulaic outline, self-promotion, or level of enthusiastic cliches usually only found at MLM recruitment meetings, but there is more than a grain of substance behind all that. The idea that your life is a room that has only one door with a big "No Exit" sign on it and that every single person you have ever let into your life is in that room forever ... well. That should give all of us pause for thought.
It's usually the kind of book I dislike, the "trendy business managerial book of the month" sort that is sooo formulaic and sooo self-promoting and sooo full of overenthusiastic cliches. TBH, I can't even say why I checked it out of the library except that I found the title intriguing.
Surprisingly, it has some substance. I can't say I'm fully on board at all -- especially with the formulaic outline, self-promotion, or level of enthusiastic cliches usually only found at MLM recruitment meetings, but there is more than a grain of substance behind all that. The idea that your life is a room that has only one door with a big "No Exit" sign on it and that every single person you have ever let into your life is in that room forever ... well. That should give all of us pause for thought.
May 12, 2015
Interesting concept and makes you think. It is an easy read but does have quite a few typos.
Read
October 27, 2024Highly recommend for anyone who is open to identifying who you surround yourself with and the impact they have on you and your life, so you can make better decisions on who you allow in. I've read both the 1st and 2nd editions. The 2nd edition had a lot of improvements and the philosophies made more sense (probably partly because it was my 2nd exposure to the concepts.)
I grew up believing I needed to love and be accepting of everybody. While this is true, the way in which we offer love to one person vs another, as well as how, when, and how much we allow them into our lives, should vary. Loving someone does not mean you have to let their destructive behaviors harm you.
You'll want to read and follow the exercises several times, as you've had certain behaviors you've developed over your lifetime and it takes work and intention to change them. As you do, your life will improve. As has been said by many experts, the people you surround yourself with will determine the trajectory of your life (rephrased in my own words).
I grew up believing I needed to love and be accepting of everybody. While this is true, the way in which we offer love to one person vs another, as well as how, when, and how much we allow them into our lives, should vary. Loving someone does not mean you have to let their destructive behaviors harm you.
You'll want to read and follow the exercises several times, as you've had certain behaviors you've developed over your lifetime and it takes work and intention to change them. As you do, your life will improve. As has been said by many experts, the people you surround yourself with will determine the trajectory of your life (rephrased in my own words).
March 24, 2024
Excellent Read
I read 50 business books a year and this stands out as the most memorable, meaningful and fulfilling that I’ve read all year.
It’s such a simple concept.
To paraphrase Jim Rohn we become the average of the people in our room.
Jim proposed three strategies to manage this:- sever your association with those toxic influences in your life; limit your association with others depending on circumstances; and expand your association with upbeat people.
‘What’s In Your Room’ shows you how to actually do this.
Thank you to the authors for sharing such a transformative concept.
I read 50 business books a year and this stands out as the most memorable, meaningful and fulfilling that I’ve read all year.
It’s such a simple concept.
To paraphrase Jim Rohn we become the average of the people in our room.
Jim proposed three strategies to manage this:- sever your association with those toxic influences in your life; limit your association with others depending on circumstances; and expand your association with upbeat people.
‘What’s In Your Room’ shows you how to actually do this.
Thank you to the authors for sharing such a transformative concept.
September 11, 2018
This was a very interesting book. It discusses the idea of “Who’s in your room?” Basically that the quality of your life depends on the people that you allow into your life. This was a business networking book but has far reaching connection in many other areas of life.
January 28, 2019
Important lessons right there. Get a hold of your room!
March 11, 2023
This is an exercise book for you to take control of your life using the analogy of a brain room with a doorkeeper and concierge to maintain the room and keep dealbreakers and anchors out while making room for dealmakers and engines.
You can’t undo the past, but you can curate your room to build a better future.
Seek harmony not balance and wherever you are, be there.
You can’t undo the past, but you can curate your room to build a better future.
Seek harmony not balance and wherever you are, be there.
July 23, 2015
Very dry read, but some good points
April 11, 2016
As a recovering "yes" addict this book provided reinforcement and additional tools for me to use to created a life of peace and fulfilment true to my values.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews