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They Said We'd Never Make It: My Life With Erik Menendez
The wife of convicted killer Erik Menendez discusses her husband's painful life, his trial for the murder of his parents, the brutality of his life in a maximum security prison, and their struggle to preserve their marriage.
247 pages, Hardcover
First published October 17, 2005
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
December 6, 2024
After reading so many misinterpretations of this book, I decided to give it a go. After all, we live in an era where media literacy seems to be at an all time low and I would rather read it for myself and trust my own judgment.
How do I rate this book without being biased? I want to see the Menendez brothers free. I trust that they will be free some day. And after all, Tammi is married to Erik, so naturally, I feel supportive of her.
There are some things she has written about that I disagree with strongly, like her referring to her older daughter’s SA as a relationship. Refusing to acknowledge that what her husband did was r*pe and not reporting it right away also rubs me the wrong way.
As an introvert myself, I can understand Tammi’s desire for privacy and reluctance to making herself a public figure but finally breaking through in the moment where she couldn’t keep her emotions hidden anymore because the prison system is/was horrible and needs a reform. As I was reading this I could tell where she was coming from.
The type of spirituality she speaks about is something I have been exploring as well for about a decade now. It felt incredible to read someone else’s words that describe so perfectly the connection I feel to some people in my life as well. It’s always been hard to put that into words, especially because we’re always considered to be eccentric when we mention our spiritual experiences. I commend her for being able to express it so accurately and for expressing it at all!
I wish the editor would have done a better job, though. There are typos in the printed copy, and repetitive sentences that didn’t need to be there. Quite a bit of jumping between events could also confuse the reader.
With all that being said, I am glad I read this. Even if the book is “old” by now. Erik managed to get so many projects off the ground in the meantime and it both saddens me that he was outcasted and put through hell when he tried to get his first project (The Ladder System) implemented and makes me proud he hasn’t given up.
”The truth is, if others judge me, it’s their lesson, their prejudice. I won’t be saddled with shame simply because of some people’s ignorance.”
How do I rate this book without being biased? I want to see the Menendez brothers free. I trust that they will be free some day. And after all, Tammi is married to Erik, so naturally, I feel supportive of her.
There are some things she has written about that I disagree with strongly, like her referring to her older daughter’s SA as a relationship. Refusing to acknowledge that what her husband did was r*pe and not reporting it right away also rubs me the wrong way.
As an introvert myself, I can understand Tammi’s desire for privacy and reluctance to making herself a public figure but finally breaking through in the moment where she couldn’t keep her emotions hidden anymore because the prison system is/was horrible and needs a reform. As I was reading this I could tell where she was coming from.
The type of spirituality she speaks about is something I have been exploring as well for about a decade now. It felt incredible to read someone else’s words that describe so perfectly the connection I feel to some people in my life as well. It’s always been hard to put that into words, especially because we’re always considered to be eccentric when we mention our spiritual experiences. I commend her for being able to express it so accurately and for expressing it at all!
I wish the editor would have done a better job, though. There are typos in the printed copy, and repetitive sentences that didn’t need to be there. Quite a bit of jumping between events could also confuse the reader.
With all that being said, I am glad I read this. Even if the book is “old” by now. Erik managed to get so many projects off the ground in the meantime and it both saddens me that he was outcasted and put through hell when he tried to get his first project (The Ladder System) implemented and makes me proud he hasn’t given up.
”The truth is, if others judge me, it’s their lesson, their prejudice. I won’t be saddled with shame simply because of some people’s ignorance.”
August 31, 2025
Read this if you want to know what a narcissist is like but warning, it’s vile. The section about Tammi’s ex husband raping her underage daughter is one of the most nauseating things I’ve ever read. I literally felt sick reading it. Tammi completely dismisses her child’s trauma and centers herself. She drones on and on about what a martyr SHE is and how hard this must be for the RAPIST who she praises to high heavens, practically worships throughout the entire fucking book despite him being completely useless as a husband and a child rapist. All without a second thought for her CHILD as a person and as the only true victim here beyond “she keeps acting out”. I FUCKING WONDER WHY?! MAYBE BECAUSE SHE STILL HAS TO LIVE WITH HER RAPIST WHILE YOU DO NOTHING?! I don’t wanna hear any excuses either, Tammi didn’t report this rape happening in her home for MONTHS and when a doctor said he had to report it she begged him NOT to.
If she had ANY modicum or trace of remorse or even self-awareness about how badly she handled her daughter’s rape, that would be one thing. But she has NONE, Tammi still acts like some kind of fucking hero and praises herself for what a great mom she is. She shows not one moment of actually empathizing with the VICTIM, all her empathy is for the rapist and herself. She constantly tells not shows that she’s a perfect mom who puts her kids first while never once doing that. And Tammi still goes on and on throughout the book about how much they all miss the child rapist. It’s genuinely nauseating, it rivals “Lolita” for delusional and disgusting narrators. It’s a glimpse inside the mind of a delusional narcissist who cares for no one but themselves and yet is convinced they’re a loving, empathetic saint just like a schizophrenic is convinced the voices are real despite all evidence and logic. Also she’s happy that the rapist’s suicide note is all about HER, he didn’t care to apologize directly to the CHILD he RAPED and center her. He apologized instead to Tammi for the inconvenience and embarrassment, and this bitch actually appreciates that because she doesn’t care about her daughter or see her as a separate person at all. I’d piss on his grave over that note but she loves the attention as always, Tammi only cares about Tammi. No wonder her older daughter doesn’t talk to her, good for her.
It’s deeply disturbing this woman is married to a child rape victim whose mother also put herself before her children and refused to turn in her husband. Beyond that, the way Tammi talks about Erik is infuriating. She constantly describes him in negatives how he’s “clumsy” and “too energetic”, it doesn’t sound like someone in love AT ALL. And she looks like she doesn’t even want to touch him on the cover. Even from her perspective which is biased towards her, Tammi STILL sounds like an insufferable asshole in every interaction with Erik. He is sooo sweet and complimentary and she’s just bitching and whining about every single thing he does like an ungrateful spoiled brat. Erik gives everything and Tammi gives nothing back. At one point Tammi is proud of herself for yelling at Erik for being late to a visit. I know Tammi clearly isn’t the brightest but fucking hell even she has to know PRISONERS can’t just go wherever they want whenever they want. They have to go through search and be let into the visiting room and often prison staff don’t care about them being on time. It’d be one thing if she did that and then reflected on how she was wrong but no she’s really stupid enough to write that she was “standing up for herself”. She’s genuinely the stupidest, most unlikable bitch ever and I pity Erik. She also says multiple times that she likes being with him because she doesn’t actually have to be intimate and can walk away whenever she wants and DOES which is so cruel and immature.
Also, Tammi is terrible to her younger kid too and Erik - who is younger and has far less experience with good parenting - has to tell her how to parent when she tries to force her kid to finish her food because she can’t believe food from a prison vending machine may be off and doesn’t bother to check. Which she gets pissed abour too because she doesn’t want to be contradicted in the 2 fucking hours that Erik even sees the kid even though she says he’s the “dad” she doesn’t treat him like a co-parent at all. Unfortunately that’s not that uncommon of shitty parenting but it’s still shitty parenting. And it’s notable Tammi says nothing unique about either of her daughters it’s all so generic like her 2/3 year old is energetic and doesn’t like to stand in line for an hour. She seems to know nothing about them as people because she doesn’t care to. You can say she just didn’t want to talk to much about them to protect their privacy but actually you can’t when she decided to include the whole disgusting section about her daughters sexual abuse and praise the rapist for the whole book. She’s have left all that out if that was why.
Oh and if you’re wondering if maybe Tammi used a ghost writer and they portrayed her badly - this book is atrociously written and definitely sounds like Tammi’s voice so I doubt a professional writer wrote it for her. If they did, she should get her money back because I’ve read better written middle school essays. I doubt it even had an editor who was half awake. In all Tammi’s interviews, she sounds the same as the book just going on and on about what Erik does for HER but not actually anything about HIM as a person (just like how she can’t say anything about her kids as people). He writes her love poems every day and she just feeds off it endlessly like the black hole she is. This isn’t a love story, it’s a narcissist who has found a convenient source in an incarcerated lifelong abuse victim.
If she had ANY modicum or trace of remorse or even self-awareness about how badly she handled her daughter’s rape, that would be one thing. But she has NONE, Tammi still acts like some kind of fucking hero and praises herself for what a great mom she is. She shows not one moment of actually empathizing with the VICTIM, all her empathy is for the rapist and herself. She constantly tells not shows that she’s a perfect mom who puts her kids first while never once doing that. And Tammi still goes on and on throughout the book about how much they all miss the child rapist. It’s genuinely nauseating, it rivals “Lolita” for delusional and disgusting narrators. It’s a glimpse inside the mind of a delusional narcissist who cares for no one but themselves and yet is convinced they’re a loving, empathetic saint just like a schizophrenic is convinced the voices are real despite all evidence and logic. Also she’s happy that the rapist’s suicide note is all about HER, he didn’t care to apologize directly to the CHILD he RAPED and center her. He apologized instead to Tammi for the inconvenience and embarrassment, and this bitch actually appreciates that because she doesn’t care about her daughter or see her as a separate person at all. I’d piss on his grave over that note but she loves the attention as always, Tammi only cares about Tammi. No wonder her older daughter doesn’t talk to her, good for her.
It’s deeply disturbing this woman is married to a child rape victim whose mother also put herself before her children and refused to turn in her husband. Beyond that, the way Tammi talks about Erik is infuriating. She constantly describes him in negatives how he’s “clumsy” and “too energetic”, it doesn’t sound like someone in love AT ALL. And she looks like she doesn’t even want to touch him on the cover. Even from her perspective which is biased towards her, Tammi STILL sounds like an insufferable asshole in every interaction with Erik. He is sooo sweet and complimentary and she’s just bitching and whining about every single thing he does like an ungrateful spoiled brat. Erik gives everything and Tammi gives nothing back. At one point Tammi is proud of herself for yelling at Erik for being late to a visit. I know Tammi clearly isn’t the brightest but fucking hell even she has to know PRISONERS can’t just go wherever they want whenever they want. They have to go through search and be let into the visiting room and often prison staff don’t care about them being on time. It’d be one thing if she did that and then reflected on how she was wrong but no she’s really stupid enough to write that she was “standing up for herself”. She’s genuinely the stupidest, most unlikable bitch ever and I pity Erik. She also says multiple times that she likes being with him because she doesn’t actually have to be intimate and can walk away whenever she wants and DOES which is so cruel and immature.
Also, Tammi is terrible to her younger kid too and Erik - who is younger and has far less experience with good parenting - has to tell her how to parent when she tries to force her kid to finish her food because she can’t believe food from a prison vending machine may be off and doesn’t bother to check. Which she gets pissed abour too because she doesn’t want to be contradicted in the 2 fucking hours that Erik even sees the kid even though she says he’s the “dad” she doesn’t treat him like a co-parent at all. Unfortunately that’s not that uncommon of shitty parenting but it’s still shitty parenting. And it’s notable Tammi says nothing unique about either of her daughters it’s all so generic like her 2/3 year old is energetic and doesn’t like to stand in line for an hour. She seems to know nothing about them as people because she doesn’t care to. You can say she just didn’t want to talk to much about them to protect their privacy but actually you can’t when she decided to include the whole disgusting section about her daughters sexual abuse and praise the rapist for the whole book. She’s have left all that out if that was why.
Oh and if you’re wondering if maybe Tammi used a ghost writer and they portrayed her badly - this book is atrociously written and definitely sounds like Tammi’s voice so I doubt a professional writer wrote it for her. If they did, she should get her money back because I’ve read better written middle school essays. I doubt it even had an editor who was half awake. In all Tammi’s interviews, she sounds the same as the book just going on and on about what Erik does for HER but not actually anything about HIM as a person (just like how she can’t say anything about her kids as people). He writes her love poems every day and she just feeds off it endlessly like the black hole she is. This isn’t a love story, it’s a narcissist who has found a convenient source in an incarcerated lifelong abuse victim.
January 13, 2008
Pure curiosity was the impetus for my reading this book. After seeing Eric Manendez and his wife interviewed on Larry King, I couldn't help but wonder why a woman would marry a man who had brutally murdered his parents and was in prison for life. After reading the Menendez's story, I have more questions than answers. I'm sure women who marry murderers have a lot to tell their therapists:)
May 23, 2008
She tells it like it is in prison and doesn't leave the bad parts out.
May 10, 2016
I really enjoyed Tammi's book. She is a fearless woman who has fought her way to love. I would love to talk to her more about her life and love.
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July 23, 2010She writes to a convicted parent murderer while she is still married. She visits this murderer in prison ...while still married. After she is corresponding with him (Erik M. the murderer) she accuses her husband of molesting her daughter. The husband kills himself. She moves to California and marries Erik Menendez. This man kills his parents at age 18. Claims he was molested by the father. At age 18 you have many more options.... move away...get a job ... get help....Oh, there's so much money to be had...poor mom...she wasn't a molester...just in the way. You are wasting your money to read ramblings of sociopaths....there are better things to do with your money..children's cancer wards..etc...
January 10, 2025
Fair Warning this is gonna be a long one lol
I'm really glad I read this book. I learned a lot about how unfair and harsh the prison system can be. Some of the things Erik went through, and probably many others, were shocking. It really opened my eyes as to how corrupt the prison system is and how it’s really set up to fail those that are incarcerated and their families. Even though it was published in 2005, and Erik and Tammi have likely experienced more since then, I still wanted to share my thoughts.
First, I have to mention Tammi. Some of her actions were a little confusing to me and rubbed me the wrong way. When she found out that her husband and her daughter (from a previous marriage) had an intimate relationship, she was devastated but didn’t want to report it. That was hard for me to understand. Then, she ended up marrying someone who had been s/a’d throughout his entire childhood. It just felt a bit contradictory. And while I understand that the legal age of consent was 16 in their state, her daughter was still a teenager, and she needed her mother’s guidance and support. It felt like Tammi didn’t fully process or handle that situation in the best way. I get that things must have been incredibly difficult for her after her husband’s passing—raising a 10-month-old alone—but it still doesn’t sit right with me.
That said, Tammi was very open and honest about her relationship with Erik, and I really appreciated that. Marrying someone in prison isn’t exactly “normal,” and she didn’t try to make it sound easy or sugar coat it. She talked about how their bond was built on spirituality and emotional connection, even without physical closeness. I thought her perspective on that was really interesting, and I liked getting a glimpse into their unique relationship. The ability for them to face so much adversity and still remain so connected is incredible. The connection between Erik and Tammi’s younger daughter, Talia (his stepdaughter) was also really sweet. His kind nature really came through in how he interacted with both Tammi and Talia. You could tell he genuinely cared about them.
One last minor thing—the book could’ve used a little more editing. There were some grammar mistakes, and it did irk me at times😭
Overall, I definitely think it’s worth reading. At first, some of Tammi’s actions and words made her seem disingenuous about the relationship, but I get how challenging it must be to fully commit to a prison relationship right away. Tammi did a great job of showing who Erik Menendez really is. The book doesn’t just focus on his past or the crime, but it gives a deeper look into his personality, his struggles in prison, and the work he did to better himself. Tammi also talked about the difference in how Erik was portrayed in the media during the trial and who he really was as a person. It helps readers view him as more of a human and not just a viral thing on tik tok or a name in the headlines.
I'm really glad I read this book. I learned a lot about how unfair and harsh the prison system can be. Some of the things Erik went through, and probably many others, were shocking. It really opened my eyes as to how corrupt the prison system is and how it’s really set up to fail those that are incarcerated and their families. Even though it was published in 2005, and Erik and Tammi have likely experienced more since then, I still wanted to share my thoughts.
First, I have to mention Tammi. Some of her actions were a little confusing to me and rubbed me the wrong way. When she found out that her husband and her daughter (from a previous marriage) had an intimate relationship, she was devastated but didn’t want to report it. That was hard for me to understand. Then, she ended up marrying someone who had been s/a’d throughout his entire childhood. It just felt a bit contradictory. And while I understand that the legal age of consent was 16 in their state, her daughter was still a teenager, and she needed her mother’s guidance and support. It felt like Tammi didn’t fully process or handle that situation in the best way. I get that things must have been incredibly difficult for her after her husband’s passing—raising a 10-month-old alone—but it still doesn’t sit right with me.
That said, Tammi was very open and honest about her relationship with Erik, and I really appreciated that. Marrying someone in prison isn’t exactly “normal,” and she didn’t try to make it sound easy or sugar coat it. She talked about how their bond was built on spirituality and emotional connection, even without physical closeness. I thought her perspective on that was really interesting, and I liked getting a glimpse into their unique relationship. The ability for them to face so much adversity and still remain so connected is incredible. The connection between Erik and Tammi’s younger daughter, Talia (his stepdaughter) was also really sweet. His kind nature really came through in how he interacted with both Tammi and Talia. You could tell he genuinely cared about them.
One last minor thing—the book could’ve used a little more editing. There were some grammar mistakes, and it did irk me at times😭
Overall, I definitely think it’s worth reading. At first, some of Tammi’s actions and words made her seem disingenuous about the relationship, but I get how challenging it must be to fully commit to a prison relationship right away. Tammi did a great job of showing who Erik Menendez really is. The book doesn’t just focus on his past or the crime, but it gives a deeper look into his personality, his struggles in prison, and the work he did to better himself. Tammi also talked about the difference in how Erik was portrayed in the media during the trial and who he really was as a person. It helps readers view him as more of a human and not just a viral thing on tik tok or a name in the headlines.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 10, 2013
I'm really glad that I finished this book. It was horribly written.. I'm assuming there was no editor (or either the editor needs to find another profession), and the author's thoughts were jumbled. Her paragraphs and chapters were not structurally sound. It was rather annoying at times. Some things she said were well written, but for the most part, I think she has a screw or two loose. I don't judge her or Erik and I wish them the best of luck in their marriage. I actually understand her relationship with Erik way more than her previous marriage with Chuck. First off, she was obviously unhappy with the lack of companionship in her marriage to Chuck. Secondly, if my child had been sexually abused by my husband, I would turn him in to the police so fast it would make his head spin. I wouldn't feel sorry him one bit and I definitely wouldn't have stayed married to him.
All-in-all, this author irritated me. I feel bad for her husband's mistreatment in prison, but I do believe that prison is where he should be. I don't necessarily believe that he is a danger to society, but as a punishment for murdering his parents, I think prison is a sufficient punishment. I don't recommend this book, unless the reader wants a jumbled perspective and strangely written story. I would much rather read a book written by Erik.
All-in-all, this author irritated me. I feel bad for her husband's mistreatment in prison, but I do believe that prison is where he should be. I don't necessarily believe that he is a danger to society, but as a punishment for murdering his parents, I think prison is a sufficient punishment. I don't recommend this book, unless the reader wants a jumbled perspective and strangely written story. I would much rather read a book written by Erik.
April 23, 2019
I enjoyed reading this book, I found it to be interesting and also funny at times, but there were some things that made me feel a bit weird about the whole situation. Regardless, I don't know if what's written in this book is completely true or not but one thing I definitely don't doubt is the corruption of the american legal and prison system, but then again I was aware of this before reading the book.
July 3, 2018
A quick read and a good compliment to the recent "Law and Order" mini series on the Menendez brothers.
October 10, 2024
2.5 ⭐️more about the wife and her story than Erik
November 13, 2024
Tammi and Eric were two people whose lives were marked by pain and separation. Eric, convicted of a crime that would imprison him for life, and Tammi, someone who reached out to him when his world felt empty, found an unlikely connection. Their relationship began with letters—simple messages that grew into something deeper. For Eric, these letters were a lifeline, a way to feel seen and understood in a place where most people only saw him as his crime. For Tammi, the letters were a way to connect with someone who, despite everything, felt real and human to her.
Their bond wasn’t without its struggles. Tammi faced judgment from the outside world—people questioning why she would love someone convicted of such a violent crime. Eric, in his own way, also battled with his past and the life sentence he now lived. They didn’t have the luxury of a typical relationship. Their time together was limited, often confined to brief, supervised visits in a sterile, controlled environment. But in those moments, their love felt strong. They found solace in each other’s presence, even if it was fleeting.
Eric’s words to Tammi during their phone calls and visits spoke to the depth of his feelings. “I never thought I could find peace in this place,” he once told her, “but with you, I feel like I have something worth fighting for.” Those words, simple but powerful, reflected the quiet strength that their relationship provided. It wasn’t just about romantic love—it was about finding something good, something real, in the midst of a broken world.
Though their connection was built from fragments, from letters and visits, it was more than enough for them. They supported each other through their pain, through the loneliness, and the harsh reality of their situation. They understood that their love would never be “normal,” but they also knew it was theirs. And in a world that had tried to break them, they found strength in each other.
Their journey wasn’t easy, and it was full of moments that could have torn them apart. But instead, it only brought them closer. In the end, their love proved that even broken souls could find a way to heal and create something beautiful together, even from the most difficult of circumstances.
Though they lived in different worlds, they held onto each other with a fierceness that couldn’t be measured by distance or time. Through the years, despite the struggles, the judgment, and the endless challenges, they proved that even broken souls could find a way to heal, together.
Their bond wasn’t without its struggles. Tammi faced judgment from the outside world—people questioning why she would love someone convicted of such a violent crime. Eric, in his own way, also battled with his past and the life sentence he now lived. They didn’t have the luxury of a typical relationship. Their time together was limited, often confined to brief, supervised visits in a sterile, controlled environment. But in those moments, their love felt strong. They found solace in each other’s presence, even if it was fleeting.
Eric’s words to Tammi during their phone calls and visits spoke to the depth of his feelings. “I never thought I could find peace in this place,” he once told her, “but with you, I feel like I have something worth fighting for.” Those words, simple but powerful, reflected the quiet strength that their relationship provided. It wasn’t just about romantic love—it was about finding something good, something real, in the midst of a broken world.
Though their connection was built from fragments, from letters and visits, it was more than enough for them. They supported each other through their pain, through the loneliness, and the harsh reality of their situation. They understood that their love would never be “normal,” but they also knew it was theirs. And in a world that had tried to break them, they found strength in each other.
Their journey wasn’t easy, and it was full of moments that could have torn them apart. But instead, it only brought them closer. In the end, their love proved that even broken souls could find a way to heal and create something beautiful together, even from the most difficult of circumstances.
Though they lived in different worlds, they held onto each other with a fierceness that couldn’t be measured by distance or time. Through the years, despite the struggles, the judgment, and the endless challenges, they proved that even broken souls could find a way to heal, together.
August 1, 2023
I bought this book to hear more about the Menendez brothers, I didn't know much about Tammi -- I did not expect to end up liking Tammi so much but I did. She is just precious. When I read about her love of animals and her life size photo in her bedroom of her french bulldog and her parrot wandering down the hall humming the theme to the Andy Griffith show, I was just so enamored of Tammi. I enjoyed hearing about her life story and what brought her and Eric together. It's very sweet and I think he's really lucky to have her (and vice versa) -- their love story is so nice and I hope that Erik and Lyle will get a new trial and get out soon. Going back 30 years and watching this trial and reading about it is just so upsetting. I always assumed they had killed to get their parents money, I never knew until recently just what horrors they had endured by their parents. Back to Tammi -- the only thing I thought she was a little too nice about - was the way she treated Chuck after finding out about what he was doing to her daughter. It's crazy that she was still supportive of him and had so many nice things to say about him. But, I think it's just because she was trying to help him too. I don't know if Tammi has any control over this, but this book is out of print (and I paid a small fortune to get it) and if possible, I think she should put it back out, if she has any control over it. With the Netflix documentary that's about to come out, I think there will be a lot of interest in reading about Lyle and Erik and this book is one of the best I have read so far on this case and on who the "real" Erik Menendez is. Like I said, I do hope the brothers get out soon. It would be wonderful to see Erik and Tammi together on the outside.
January 12, 2025
I enjoyed the book! It was nice to learn more about Erik, his personality, and experience behind bars. After watching his first trial, I was intrigued and immediately wanted to learn more. As the Menendez brothers try to live a private life (well, as private as they can as two people who are highlighted in media), it’s hard to find much information about them after their conviction. I was particularly interested in their early years in prison, including details on how they were treated, and what their experiences were like. I was pleasantly surprised with the detail that Tammi goes into regarding Erik’s experiences. Although the content was a 4.5/5 (I have to subtract a bit due to an uncomfortable amount of detail provided regarding her first born), the editing could’ve been better. There were many instances where sentences were missing periods or commas, making it difficult to read. In addition, there were plenty of spelling errors. I think the book could’ve been organized in a better way, as there were sections that didn’t flow. Overall, it was a good read.
October 11, 2024
Was watching Tammi's interview with Barbara Walters on the internet and came across somebody's comment mentioning this book. I'd heard about the Menendez case years ago and it's been getting a lot of attention recently - maybe because of the new documentaries or could be because of the new generation letting their views be known, or both.
Tammi goes into the details of her life prior to meeting Erik, then how her correspondence with the brother lasted for years before she finally met with him. She speaks about spirituality as well as hardships faced inside the prisons. Everything's mentioned from Tammi's point of view, since this is ofcourse, as titled - 'her life' with Erik.
Personally, I didn't find the writing terrible. Made for an interesting read.
Tammi goes into the details of her life prior to meeting Erik, then how her correspondence with the brother lasted for years before she finally met with him. She speaks about spirituality as well as hardships faced inside the prisons. Everything's mentioned from Tammi's point of view, since this is ofcourse, as titled - 'her life' with Erik.
Personally, I didn't find the writing terrible. Made for an interesting read.
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October 11, 2024Again. Not trying rate memoirs like I used to! This is interesting and somewhat reminds me of the one I read by Damian Echols and his wife but is obviously different. I always find stories like these interesting. Though some of her past threw me off with her first husband. I couldn’t imagine feeling the way she did about what he did. Maybe I wouldn’t know unless I was in that situation. But idk, she didn’t handle it like I’d imagine. And given Erik’s life, I wanted to know more about his reaction. Regardless, she portrays Erik as sweet and romantic. I do think he doesn’t pose a danger to society and neither does his brother. This was from 2005 so I would hope she’d do an updated version with all this new attention on the case.
April 7, 2025
Definitely an interesting read. There's some things within this book that rubbed me the wrong way. Let me make it clear that with the amount of controversial subjects throughout it that are spoken of in these reviews; There's many stances someone could take when discussing them. The way she spoke of her ex-husband after he SA'd her daughter was incredibly shocking to me, and I found it difficult to read. I hope her daughter is okay - My heart truly hurts for her. It was interesting what Tammi wrote of the prison life. Lots of informative but sometimes odd topics, which is to be expected. This book could've definitely used an editor, but I think it is worth a read.
January 4, 2025
I love it, it is simply romantic, tammi describe her love life with erik so well, even though i expected that she could share some of erik's love letter to her and put more pictures in the book to make the readers understand more the love between the two. I truly hope erik and lyle walk out of prison soon and wish that erik would write his own book about his life before and after prison.
February 17, 2025
This lady is absolutely disgusting! It is clear you have used Erik for fame! You are a shameless woman for easily forgiving the man who raped your daughter and oh I know that you plan to get buried next to him 🫣
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January 24, 2023This was a wild story....and not terribly well written. Glad I was able to get this from the library because this sells for upward of $50/$60! No one did I need to own this!
September 29, 2024
omg this is the best thing I've ever read, I literally can't explain it
December 14, 2007
Although this book contained an overwhelming number of typos (did anyone edit it?), I am glad I read it.
I picked it up at work, mostly because it was the first book I came across (without looking too hard) that is about a woman who met a man while he was in prison, wrote letters to him, and became romantically involved with him. Since I am in a similar situation (although my partner did not commit any sort of murder and is not serving a life sentence), I was quite interested in what the author had to say.
The book was a bit too spiritual for me, but I did appreciate the author's compassion and critique of the prison system and how it mistreats prisoners and their loved ones.
Recommended for the information it contains, but not so much for its writing style.
I picked it up at work, mostly because it was the first book I came across (without looking too hard) that is about a woman who met a man while he was in prison, wrote letters to him, and became romantically involved with him. Since I am in a similar situation (although my partner did not commit any sort of murder and is not serving a life sentence), I was quite interested in what the author had to say.
The book was a bit too spiritual for me, but I did appreciate the author's compassion and critique of the prison system and how it mistreats prisoners and their loved ones.
Recommended for the information it contains, but not so much for its writing style.
August 20, 2008
In this memoir, Tammi Menendez discusses how she met and then eventually married her husband, Erik, who is behind bars for killing his parents. At times she comes across naive and she believes that prisoners are treated unfairly which leads her to become an advocate for prisoner's rights. Although I don't agree with some of her views, I thought this book made for an interesting read because it gives you an inside look at the prison system as well as the personal struggles spouses face when they are married to a prisoner.
November 8, 2008
Terribly written and absolutely fascinating!
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