The Evolved Nest: Nature's Way of Raising Children and Creating Connected Communities

by Darcia Narvaez, G.A. Bradshaw, Gabor Maté (Foreword)

A fascinating look into nurturing and parenting in the natural world, supplemented with original illustrations

For readers of Becoming Animal and World of Wonders

A beautiful resource for Nature advocates, parents-to-be, Animal lovers, and anyone who seeks to restore wellbeing on our planet, The Evolved Nest reconnects us to lessons from the Animal world and shows us how to restore wellness in our families, communities, and lives.

Each of 10 chapters explores a different animal’s parenting model, sharing species-specific adaptations that allow each to thrive in their “evolved nests.” You’ll


Psychologists Drs. Darcia Narvaez and Gay Bradshaw show us how each evolved nest offers inspiration for reexamining our own systems of nurturing, understanding, and caring for our young and each other. Alongside beautiful illustrations, stunning scientific facts, and lessons in neuroscience, psychology, and evolutionary biology, we learn to care to restore our innate place within the natural world and fight for an ecology of life that supports our flourishing in balance with Nature alongside our human and non-human family.

Genres: Parenting, Psychology, Nature, Nonfiction, Science, Education, Anthropology

248 pages, Paperback

Published August 8, 2023

Reviews

[CanadianReader · Rating 3 out of 5]

Authors Narvaez (a past professor of psychology at Notre Dame) and Bradshaw (who holds one PhD in psychology and another in ecology) believe humanity has lost is way. Around 10,000 years ago, they say, human cultures in several regions of the world shifted, maybe because of population pressures or changes in climate. Some societies broke from the “gift economy” of Nature [authors’ capitalization] and began to “enslave” Plants and Animals [authors’ capitalization again]. The other living things on the planet were no longer thought of as kin but as commodities over which humans had dominion. Increasingly divorced from their evolutionary ways, Homo sapiens eventually pushed the world into the “Capitalocene” era, characterized by pollution, climate disasters, the destruction of the natural world, and the erasure of indigenous cultures living in the greatest harmony with it. The dominant (Western) culture adopted a trauma-inducing lifestyle, which it continues to foist on others. The effect on humans overall? Stress, disconnection, and alienation. Gabor Mate wrote the introduction for The Evolved Nest and mentioned Narvaez’s ideas a few times in his recently published The Myth of Normal, a work I wasn’t overly keen on.

In their impassioned and very serious book, Narvaez and Bradshaw call for a future that’s “informed and reinvigorated by what the past and everlasting Nature can teach us.” As the title indicates, central to the text is the idea of “evolved nests”—the “developmental systems tailored to nurture psychological, social, physical, and neurobiological needs in a species-unique manner.” Each chapter begins with a short lyrical passage about a social animal species—its name always capitalized, like a tribe’s, to show respect and acknowledge the animal’s significance. This is followed by an encyclopedia-like entry of facts about the species, with a focus on something of critical importance in the animal’s early upbringing that may also pertain to the core developmental needs of human infants or at least serve as a springboard to the discussion of a particular psychological requirement of very young children. The authors write that the first years of life “lay down fundamental trajectories of who and how the child will be in the future.” What happens in early childhood largely determines both physical and mental health. Narvaez and Bradshaw then go on to present, sometimes in fairly dry technical terms, what they see as the scientific evidence for their thinking. I sometimes found this information limited, vague, or unconvincing. For example, they indicate that sleep training of human infants leads to poor mental health later.

The first animal Narvaez and Bradshaw consider is the brown bear, which, like humans, is an “altricial” species: it depends on intense postnatal care. This leads the authors to a discussion of attuned, synchronous human parenting, epigenetics (the influence of the environment on the expression of genes), and the development of three sensory systems (proprioception/interoception; exteroception; and alteroceptivity). I mention these terms, so you get a sense of the kind of language you’re in for should you choose to read this book, but I’ll leave it to you to seek clarification if so interested. The authors do a pretty good job of explaining, but I’ll admit I found their discussions rather hard going and academic at times. I would’ve liked the occasional illustrative example.

Which brings me to my next point: who is the intended audience? Academics? Parents? Pediatricians? Family doctors? Those interested in ethology? Developmental psychology enthusiasts? As mentioned, there’s a lot of jargon here, and the book fairly overwhelms the reader with facts and footnotes. It’s also deadly serious, not a breath of humour.

Yes, I learned some things. I was sceptical of others. At times, I found the material thought-provoking. More often, though, I experienced the book as a grind. As far as page count goes, it’s not a long book, but it felt like it was. I don’t think further editorial winnowing would’ve hurt if the goal was to reach a general audience. In the end, I think those who liked Maté’s recent book will likely appreciate this book more than I did.

Narvaez and Bradshaw are evidently passionate about their subject matter. They evidently want to correct this life out of balance. I just wish their book, like Maté’s before it, wasn’t so dire and joyless to read—for me anyway.

[Jessica Kraft · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is essential reading for anyone who feels at odds with the current social climate. We were meant to raise children in small foraging bands, not in isolated, urban nuclear families. This account thoroughly integrates the latest research in evolutionary psychology, anthropology, animal science, and neurology to make the case that we must return to our ancient way of life in the evolved nest.

[kylie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I gravitated toward this because I love reading about the intricacies of animal lives, but this wasn't that. This read more like privileged, crunchy propaganda. Nothing wrong with crunchy, but this was a lot.

And the animals? Mostly just entry points in which to dissolve into some more human-centric new parent agenda.

-- Spoilers ahead --

For example:
- ch. 4 is on breastfeeding, which is amazing and fascinating. BUT this was mostly just "breast is best." Which is very tired.
- ch. 5 is just one long red flag. Quotes around "factual" knowledge and "world experts" makes me think the information I'm going to get isn't well rounded or fairly researched. They go on to say that sleep training is cruel (bc god forbid parents deserve sleep) and didn't really talk about "sharing care" (the chapter's title) at all.
- They later compare cribs/nurseries to prison in terms of trauma and solitary confinement.
- They frequently talk about colonization, which yes historically was very bad and widespread, but I don't think this was the time or place for that very separate agenda item.

Mostly I just feel bamboozled. I just wanted to read about animal parenting 😭. I don't even have kids and this book mom-shamed me.

**I received a free copy from Netgalley.

[Shazma Khan · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful example of how to communicate key information through good research and storytelling. Deeply thought provoking and knowledgeable, providing a great way to break free from eurocentric perspectives and broaden our understanding of how to live in communities of care.

And I read the whole thing in David Attenborough's voice.

[Daniela · Rating 4 out of 5]

The content in this book is essential for anyone that aspires to have children or be around/raise children. The overarching principle is the intersectionality of “it takes a village”. I strongly align with these principles and wish more societies did. I found the information in this book highly valuable and useful, however, I knocked a star off because I feel it would be not an easy layman read and I wish it were so that more people (ie community) would have access to this. I would want to recommend it to young parents but I feel like many would not properly process this information for it to truly be applied or absorbed.

I feel the only true people who will gain from this book are young academics who aspire to have a family in the near future and can truly process the messages in this book and strategize how they can apply it to their community and raising their children. But then it doesn’t really mean the community as a whole will have the same knowledge or the onus is on the reader to preach it. It left me hyper aware of the gap between indigenous principles all over the world and the academics. For many of those unfortunate to not have known indigenous principles or those who did not have university education, then you miss out on the depth of this information and ultimately its contribution to society.

For those who have the luxury, then this book is great!

What brought me to this book was Dr. Maté.

[Patricia Herr · Rating 5 out of 5]

This new book of developmental neuro-psychologist Darcia Narvaez, who has enriched her work with the deep wisdom of ancestral indigenous knowlege, is created co-authering with the trans-species-psychologist G.A. Bradshaw.
And once more the whole is more than the sum of its parts. Much more …
This book carries various seeds of a potential, so urgently needed, healthy pardigm-shift about the true essence of what it means to be a human being. It offers deep insights in the core-needs and potentials of humanity and about our place within the creation. Clear, multifasceted and holostic,
it is still easy and joyful to read, helping the openminded and openhearted reader to build bridges across modern science, timeless indigenous ancestral wisdom and nature herself with al her elements and beeings.
It carries various layers of knowlege and very practical guidelines of how to mother and nurture ourselfes and our children so that we/they can thrive towards happy, healthy, holistic beings in connectednes with a healthy nature which we are part of.
It helps to find even more ways to „ restore our kinship worldview“, supporting the abundance of nature and all our kin, while rebalancing and connecting our own „left and right brain“- capacities as we enjoy reading it. I am grateful, happy und thrilled.

[Monica · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am absolutely horrified by this book. I read a review earlier about how the reviewer felt mum-shamed without even being a mum, which left me even more curious. After all, how can a book that seemingly is about motherhood in nature cause that feeling? I found out SO fast!
Within 10 minutes of reading, I realised that the book is essentially about human parenting. Not too bad, right? I wish. The tone used in the book is incredibly judgemental and I was promptly informed that having planned births and C-sections is unnatural and sets up children for lifelong trauma. I can't have a natural birth due to health conditions, so a planned C is my only option - so I'm delighted (not) to know that I will be starting my child's life with abuse and leave them psychologically affected forever. Thanks. I'm glad the author is the supremest best parent in the whole entire world and their children are the healthiest in the entire galaxy and everyone else is ruining the planet by popping out traumatised kids (or forcefully removing them from their wombs.- the horror!).
One star is way too much, so please remove it and glue it to the author's best parent award that they undoubtedly keep framed above their shrine to themselves.

[Dan Herrera · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting subject matter but I ultimately couldn’t get into it. The author spends a lot of time endorsing the long-debunked right/left brain hypothesis, as well as decrying the insurmountable damage that c-section and bottle-fed babies endure. While I agree that these situations aren’t ideal or “natural,” we also need to consider the health of the mother, whereas this book exclusively considers the health of the child. It takes two to tango. Also I thought the wildlife vignettes were fun, but the transitions were abrupt and the I often found their relevance to be a stretch. I don’t regret reading this book, but it didn’t help me prepare to be a parent as I hoped it might.

[Heidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full of fascinating parallels showing the similarities in child-rearing between humans and other animals. The parts about how different animals’ evolved nests have been disrupted through human destruction of the environment were heartbreaking, but I learned a lot. For example, the section on elephants: I found it very moving learning about how young elephants whose parents were murdered for their ivory exhibited clear signs of PTSD and began to inflict interpersonal and interspecies violence not seen in healthy, intact elephant herds. Similarly with wolves whose packs have been hunted and decimated in the name of predator control and extermination. In retrospect it makes sense — who wouldn’t experience PTSD and other psychological issues after experiencing something like that? But it’s honestly not something I’d considered before, despite having an environmental/conservation background.

This book also broke my heart because as I was reading about how essential different components of the evolved nest are for healthy, secure human development and attachment later in life, and how parents’ trauma is passed down multiple generations through epigenetics, all I could think about was the people in Palestine, Sudan, and other places being genocided and experiencing wars and other violence. The atrocities these people are suffering will affect them for generations to come. Just unfathomably horrific.

Four stars because some of it was a bit repetitive, but this was an excellent book and I’d recommend it to everyone, but especially those who have kids, work with kids, or are in environmental or mental health fields.

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A well supported argument for rethinking the way we have been raising children for the last century. As a mental health professional in the field of early childhood development, I was familiar with much of the material discussed, but I appreciated how the authors have thoughtfully linked many of factors of human wellness to environmentally driven adaptations as seen in nature. There is much compelling evidence that the very unnatural ideas that have found their places in mainstream child rearing and early education are indeed damaging and even traumatic. I heard a metaphor during my undergrad studies about going upstream to figure out why people keep falling into the river of illness instead of continuously and tirelessly trying to just pull them out. It is no secret that the foundation of adolescent and adult health and wellness is created in early childhood and that it is relational. The Evolved Nest is yet another call to action or at least a message in service of all those who need to know how to help the human race with a course correction. I think it is especially important for those who wish to prepare the youngest members of our population for the shitshow they will eventually inherit.

[Misty Rae · Rating 5 out of 5]

This wasn’t just a read—it was a reflection.

The Evolved Nest explores how every species evolves a natural way of raising its young in harmony with its environment. Humans are no different—except that modern society has lost the plot. This book is a deep dive into what we’ve forgotten, how that disconnect harms not only our children but the animals and ecosystems we share this world with.

It’s a dense read—originally written as a thesis—so expect lots of footnotes and some heavy academic language. But if you can stick with it, the insights are profound and affirming.

Key concepts like alloparenting, epigenetics, exogestation, and kincentric ecology helped me put words to things I’ve long felt but couldn’t articulate.

As a parent, it stirred up some grief over moments lost to postpartum burnout. But more than anything, it left me feeling empowered. I can still nurture the nest—not just for my child, but for others too.

If you're interested in conscious parenting, ecological belonging, or reimagining how we raise children in connection with nature, I highly recommend this one.

[Holly Hunter · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book and highlighted many passages on many pages. And then I reread all my highlighted passages. And then I asked my husband if I could read him my highlighted passages… and I’m STILL obsessing over this book.

It speaks to the callings of my soul but in a new, profound, and beautiful way. It tells the story of the weaving of every fiber of a baby’s being and how deeply we impact each one.. for generations. It has fascinating animal facts that I’ve never heard. And it has such a lovely, poetic way with words.

It is a true work of art that I think should be required reading for everyone. If every parent read this book before bringing their children in, our world would change with one generation.

[itselv]

توقفت عن القراءة عند ٢٧٪؜. هذا الكتاب مكتوب بطريقة شاعرية جميلة، لكنها أكثر من المطلوب، فأصبح نصًا مليئًا بالحشو الفارغ لمجرد تجميل العبارة، والسرد يأخذ وقتًا طويلًا ليصل للنقطة المطلوبة. الفكرة مثيرة للاهتمام، وهي عن التشابه بين البشر والحيوانات من ناحية الامومة والتربية، لكن التنفيذ واختيار المواضيع كان سيئًا ومثير للضجر. كنت مهتمة بتربية الحيوانات لأطفالها من ناحية إدراكية عاطفية، لكن هذا لم يكن محتوى الكتاب للأسف.

[Emily Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! This book was an incredible read. I enjoyed the organisation of the chapters and how it takes you on a journey through the animal kingdom reminding us that we are not separate from nature. The sheer amount of wisdom and mind-blowing facts in this book had me not wanting to put it down. Everyone needs to read this book! By far the best book I’ve read in a long time.

[Kimberley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wrote five pages of notes in preparation for this review. And now I'm faced with the questions: How does one describe a book that, if understood, could change the world? How do I let other readers know that to subscribe to these well-documented suggestions would be to choose the morality and optimal health our million-year evolution set in motion for us? How do I describe the tremendous suffering that could be prevented for future generations!

Well I'll try. In a nutshell: How a child is treated will predict how the child will treat the world - thus endorsing, wait for it ... LOVE.

The book is both simple and brilliant in that it sets forth to describe the needs of our human young through the lens of how our Animal (with a capital "A") kin raise theirs. The topics of companionship care, breastfeeding, caressing, well-resourced parents, playfulness, emotional development, responsive care by enough carers, immersion in Nature, the art of rest, turning the tide through healing (and many more) are dealt with convincingly via this writing device.

On the other hand, the book is complex, with extensive footnotes and the latest brain research, and therefore will appeal to the researcher. Yes, the scholar will enjoy it because it draws from neuroscience, psychology, immunology, endocrinology, sociology, diverse health professions and the wisdom of Nature-based cultures. New (to me) terminology is peppered throughout - setting it prominently on the cutting edge.

The author very specifically tells us that this book is NOT seeking an idyllic utopia. Nor is it calling for self-recrimination, guilt or judgement (as another reviewer has mistaken it). It only asks that each of us begin where we are.

I came to this book from a love of some of the same researchers (Schore, McGilcrest, Porges, Eisler, Hrdy...), so I was most delighted to learn about the Animals (Bears, Elephants, Sperm Whales, Emperor Penguins, Beavers, Amazon Parrots, Octopuses and Gray Wolves). This would be flipped if the reader came with an interest in the Animals, and discovered something of the human being! (If you aren't interested in either, this book is not for you - as one reviewer with no interest in children discovered.)

And so I'll simply leave you, dear reader, with this: The ten suggestions in the last chapter of this book are the healing balm - the antidote for our troubled world. And they are as ancient and wise as we are. We need merely to wake up just enough to uncover them.

[Rebekah · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you read this book with a defensive mind, you will likely be offended. It didn’t feel preachy to me, rather a sharing of knowledge and research for you to take what you will. I did not feel any sort of “right/wrong” parent-shaming, but more guidelines and perspective for the reader.

I especially appreciated the emphasis on COMMUNITY in nature and alloparenting. This book changed my mind on humans and nature being inherently selfish, with some beautiful examples of animals helping one another— sometimes from an entirely different species!

Obviously it would take drastic change in our society to create the ideal circumstances to rear children in the safest, most nurturing way. I’d argue this book criticizes modern society more than it targets mothers.

As a woman, an adopted woman, never breastfed or held by her parents…. I still did not feel offended, nor vindicated over my own traumas. That is the beauty and resilience of humanity. We are not bound by circumstance.

I picked this book mainly because I’m obsessed with beavers and elephants. Octopuses too! I listened to the audiobook and found myself wishing I could highlight some fascinating facts on nature and human gestation. This book also gave me a much greater appreciation for ALL mothers!

[Elisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a mine of information about animal behavior, sociology, anthropology and our own human psychology and physiology. The content is divided between childrearing in animals and humans in both, nature-based and “developed” societies. The authors analyze the differences and similarities, pitfalls and advantages of each. Spoiler alert, the closer to Nature, the better things are. I was mostly interested in the animal content, which didn’t disappoint. Bears, wolves, elephants, whales, beavers, penguins and octopuses, among others, are explored here. They all have differences and similarities in their parenting. This was my favorite part. The human content was not as interesting to me, since I never had nor wanted children. But the animal facts were fascinating. The authors clearly advocate for a return to nature and, after reading this book, it’s hard not to agree.
I chose to read this book and all opinions in this review are my own and completely unbiased. Thank you, #NetGalley/#North Atlantic Books!

[Justin Yeo · Rating 5 out of 5]

"If the world could be saved by a book, this just might be the book."

This is what John Holt had said about Jean Leidloff's classic, The Continuum Concept, almost 50 years ago. The first time I read that book I remembered thinking how right he was. How if we could just see the importance of raising children in the environment they have evolved to be raised in we could heal from, and avoid, vast amounts of human suffering.

Having read Narvaez and Bradshaw's The Evolved Nest, I echo Holt's sentiments now. This book is a masterpiece, not only for its capacity to illuminate this often confusing and scary human condition we find ourselves in, but also because it has the capacity to help us understand and alleviate much of the unnecessary suffering that exists today in the human and more-than-human world.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book really interesting, and it read more as an anthropological study, which is right up my alley! I found it pretty fascinating, and really enjoyed this science based parenting model.

Thank you Netgalley and North Atlantic Books for the ARC!

[Sara Dahaabović · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book. The ideas are meaningful and important, but the writing had way too many jargon. It felt more like a thesis than a parenting book. Great message, but tough to get through. DNF (25%).

[Jeremy · Rating 5 out of 5]

So far so amazing.

This initiative has actually made me not feel like running away or being an emotionally absent father.

It has given me a new main life passion. And so much insight.

[Evan Graham · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting content that mostly gets lost in jargon.

[Clivemichael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Encouraging invitation to embrace a powerful experience.

[Anita · Rating 1 out of 5]

Why is there so much latent criticism of women's choices in how they mother? The entire book just felt like soft-lens maternal policing.

[Néjia Sghir · Rating 5 out of 5]

this is a must read for any parent or parent to be or anyone who is keen on looking at their relationship with children from a different lens far from the social norms that are built on separation and disconnection. Don't be discouraged by some of the negative reviews here as it is easy to interpret stated biological facts based on our physiology and human ecology as judgment. it's easy to interpret information about our baselines for living well and raising healthy children as judgment because we're all deeply conditioned by a worldview and lifestyles and systems that work against these baselines and the type of childrearing and environment we have evolved to thrive in. this book is a goldmine of transdisciplinary information and valuable insights. it's a marvel to observe nature and see how similar we are to other animals and a revelation to learn about how we have evolved to live based on 95% of human history that is before agriculture and certainly before the blip in our history that is our industrialized world. I loved reading this book and even if I'm not from a scientific academic background the terminology and style of writing is very accessible and English is my third language. there's a wealth of references at the end if you want to dive deeper on the subjects discussed in the book. My most well deserved 5 stars review