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The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted . . . But Chose to Ignore
You've done it before. Saw something wrong with him--whether it was suspect grooming habits or ridiculously childish behavior--but let it slide. It's not that big of a deal. Except it totally was. You wanted to fall in love, but ended up going insane. You swore you'd never do it again. But did.Don't beat yourself up. In the search for love, we've all either blatantly ignored or completely missed red flags. Instead, smarten up. It's time to figure out what you missed and learn how to avoid similar flagtastic fiascos in the future. If you raise your red flag awareness now, you'll be able to greenlight a real relationship down the road.
257 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 1, 2011
76 people are currently reading
336 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
August 14, 2012
Again, another fun find at work! This book reminded me a bit of "He's Just Not That Into You" but from the girlfriend perspective, which means this book is a lot more honest and much less "you're so fab, and you know you deserve more". Don't get me wrong; I loved Greg Behrendt's book (and totally wish I'd had it when I had really needed it, as I was happily married when it came out), but his book had a lot of "you go girl!" attitude in it. Looking back, I felt like he was trying to warn while giving a pep talk. Red Flags is much more "holy crap, girl! What the f*ck are you thinking!" - the sort of things you'd expect your girlfriends to tell you when you're out dissing on your boyfriend and his foibles.
The flags are pretty much all here, everything from him being childish (ie, loving his farts, belching, not being able to mention lady parts without bursting into fits of giggles) to the narcissist who just loves himself. I loved the sections about how he and his family interact because that dynamic really can tell you a lot. Also watch out for guys who obviously see you as more of a friend, will not admit you're the girlfriend, and make it perfectly clear that they're not looking to be committed long-term or be married (I was "involved" with a guy that hit almost every red flag in this section, which of course, makes me wonder about my own sanity at the time).
What's great about this book is that it's not just a man-bashing, run-while-you-can book, which it totally could have turned into. The authors are always quick to point out that a red flag doesn't necessarily mean it's time to cut and run; it just means that you need to stop and think long and hard about the fact that this flag exists. Is it something that you can talk to him about, perhaps something he isn't aware of? Is he receptive to your observations? If so, then great - you two can work on this issue and come out a stronger, happier couple. If the guy looks at you like you just grew a second head, you need to watch out. And if he turns it all around on you, especially if he becomes abusive in any way, then yes - RUN. Some things just cannot be overcome and it's better to get out while it's still possible.
Overall, I would say this is excellent little advice book. And don't be fooled by the rather-young ages of the authors; these red flags can happen to us at any age. Men can and do behave badly well into adulthood - just look at the classic "mid-life crisis" type of guy!
The flags are pretty much all here, everything from him being childish (ie, loving his farts, belching, not being able to mention lady parts without bursting into fits of giggles) to the narcissist who just loves himself. I loved the sections about how he and his family interact because that dynamic really can tell you a lot. Also watch out for guys who obviously see you as more of a friend, will not admit you're the girlfriend, and make it perfectly clear that they're not looking to be committed long-term or be married (I was "involved" with a guy that hit almost every red flag in this section, which of course, makes me wonder about my own sanity at the time).
What's great about this book is that it's not just a man-bashing, run-while-you-can book, which it totally could have turned into. The authors are always quick to point out that a red flag doesn't necessarily mean it's time to cut and run; it just means that you need to stop and think long and hard about the fact that this flag exists. Is it something that you can talk to him about, perhaps something he isn't aware of? Is he receptive to your observations? If so, then great - you two can work on this issue and come out a stronger, happier couple. If the guy looks at you like you just grew a second head, you need to watch out. And if he turns it all around on you, especially if he becomes abusive in any way, then yes - RUN. Some things just cannot be overcome and it's better to get out while it's still possible.
Overall, I would say this is excellent little advice book. And don't be fooled by the rather-young ages of the authors; these red flags can happen to us at any age. Men can and do behave badly well into adulthood - just look at the classic "mid-life crisis" type of guy!
June 19, 2011
I really liked the book description for this selection. Three women sharing their experiences and experiences of their blog community. Advice from the trenches, gathered from hundreds of women. The stories are also clearly screened as this is not a bash-all-men book nor is it a book of getting even for getting hurt by someone.
There is a lot of information and good advice. However, this book was not for me. I stopped after Parts I and II because of content. Most of the stories and advice were about sex and included slang I didn't know. Although I can't say the advice was not good, because it was - like don't allow the man you are sleeping with objectify you and such, I wanted to say, early every time, "Why are you sleeping with him?!"
I had hoped it was more relational rather than sexual and maybe it would have been the second part of the book. I simply didn't want the graphic pictures that were entering my head to be there. Don't get me wrong, the ladies included relational advice but so much of it was AFTER the women had slept with the guy. So much of the foibles of finding the red flags could have easily been detected BEFORE the women had sex with the guys. And then continued the sexual relationship.
It seemed to me that the norm was meet someone, sleep with him, then find out more about him. The advice I would have given would have probably come from Dr. Laura. Stop putting out so easily!
Besides the weird sexual red flags, the book could have been written very easily about relational red flags. I was disappointed and disgusted by the sexual content and couldn't relate.
There is a lot of information and good advice. However, this book was not for me. I stopped after Parts I and II because of content. Most of the stories and advice were about sex and included slang I didn't know. Although I can't say the advice was not good, because it was - like don't allow the man you are sleeping with objectify you and such, I wanted to say, early every time, "Why are you sleeping with him?!"
I had hoped it was more relational rather than sexual and maybe it would have been the second part of the book. I simply didn't want the graphic pictures that were entering my head to be there. Don't get me wrong, the ladies included relational advice but so much of it was AFTER the women had slept with the guy. So much of the foibles of finding the red flags could have easily been detected BEFORE the women had sex with the guys. And then continued the sexual relationship.
It seemed to me that the norm was meet someone, sleep with him, then find out more about him. The advice I would have given would have probably come from Dr. Laura. Stop putting out so easily!
Besides the weird sexual red flags, the book could have been written very easily about relational red flags. I was disappointed and disgusted by the sexual content and couldn't relate.
November 23, 2014
In your dating carrier you have probably seen a few of these.
Some of them are funny, some just plain weird, some make you doubt your own mind and some make you afraid. Next time you see them, a sound of alarm should play in your head and they should make you stop and think that maybe not all is as it seems.
Some of them are funny, some just plain weird, some make you doubt your own mind and some make you afraid. Next time you see them, a sound of alarm should play in your head and they should make you stop and think that maybe not all is as it seems.
July 21, 2019
A weird balance of helpful, and sexist/confused. The authors do acknowledge several times that they're bloggers, not psychologists or professionals, and perhaps the book could have benefitted from some kind of input or oversight.
Weird bits:
* There's a fair dose of victim-blaming.
* The 'red-flags' numbered 1-50 are one of the least helpful parts of the book, and probably the chapter headings would do a better job as a summary
* The use of lists throughout the book, along the general tenor "top ten ice-cream flavours a Bad Dude will order" is...a bit weird. I'm not sure what the point is, other than for the authors to indulge themselves in how 'funny' they are.
* Alternate arrangements are somewhat precluded. Eg. the authors claim that it's sex that separates friends from lovers. This is a weird take imho.
* They use words like "hoo-ha".
* There's liberal use of gender reification. E.g. all women are naturally more compassionate, which is why "giving an giving some more makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside".
* If somebody has a bad background - they grew up in a 'bad' household or family, for example - then that's supposed to be a red flag. Forget personal growth, therapy etc - bad family = bad guy. Bizarre.
* The weirdest thing in the book was that European mean wear "manties", panties for men. I've lived most of my adult life in Europe, and this whole idea is ridiculous - it reads as though the authors have fallen for a hoax, and comes off very parochial. Full quote: "Imagine: he's older, he's sexy, and he's swooned you into his bed. Lights out, candles lit, clothes off, game on. But wait...is he wearing panties? If you hook up with a foreign man, the answer sometimes is yes. We're not talking about tightie-whities here, but French-cut manties. And while they may seem a little odd, and perhaps a bit ladylike to you, manties are perfectly normal underwear-fare for European men."
Wtf.
Overall, I think parts of this book are useful, and I think I would have benefitted from reading it when I was younger - specifically the parts about players and boundaries. With all that said, it would be better if somebody would write a BETTER book.
3.5*
Weird bits:
* There's a fair dose of victim-blaming.
* The 'red-flags' numbered 1-50 are one of the least helpful parts of the book, and probably the chapter headings would do a better job as a summary
* The use of lists throughout the book, along the general tenor "top ten ice-cream flavours a Bad Dude will order" is...a bit weird. I'm not sure what the point is, other than for the authors to indulge themselves in how 'funny' they are.
* Alternate arrangements are somewhat precluded. Eg. the authors claim that it's sex that separates friends from lovers. This is a weird take imho.
* They use words like "hoo-ha".
* There's liberal use of gender reification. E.g. all women are naturally more compassionate, which is why "giving an giving some more makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside".
* If somebody has a bad background - they grew up in a 'bad' household or family, for example - then that's supposed to be a red flag. Forget personal growth, therapy etc - bad family = bad guy. Bizarre.
* The weirdest thing in the book was that European mean wear "manties", panties for men. I've lived most of my adult life in Europe, and this whole idea is ridiculous - it reads as though the authors have fallen for a hoax, and comes off very parochial. Full quote: "Imagine: he's older, he's sexy, and he's swooned you into his bed. Lights out, candles lit, clothes off, game on. But wait...is he wearing panties? If you hook up with a foreign man, the answer sometimes is yes. We're not talking about tightie-whities here, but French-cut manties. And while they may seem a little odd, and perhaps a bit ladylike to you, manties are perfectly normal underwear-fare for European men."
Wtf.
Overall, I think parts of this book are useful, and I think I would have benefitted from reading it when I was younger - specifically the parts about players and boundaries. With all that said, it would be better if somebody would write a BETTER book.
3.5*
August 12, 2019
succinct fairly comprehensive book of possible relationship problems. If you ever feel a niggle of doubt about someone you’re engaged with, read this book with a clear mind. Don’t let “but I love him” or “he needs me” cloud logic. They did miss one particular breed though (male and female); the predator. This person will hound you, disguising it as an intense love. He blows up your phone, calls and comes over constantly, ingratiates himself into your life and you into his. He introduces you to his friends and family as the true love of his life, never mind the exes (or even current wife!), you are the light at the end of his tunnel. Soon, you two are so entangled, and everyone believes in your true love, that it’s impossible to be rid of him. He’s living with you, he’s on your insurance, he doesn’t let you go anywhere without him....(because he just loves you sooo much, don’t you love him back?)
January 20, 2022
While I felt the advice given about the red flags in relationships was mostly solid, I did feel most of it was aimed at cis/straight people. The writing style felt like I was reading a Cosmo article most of the time with all the alliteration (penchant for porn, full-on freak, charming chap, etc.). That got rather annoying after a bit. Kinda read like clickbait too.
I think the red flags could have been presented in a more comprehensive way but I also understand the authors were catering to a younger crowd. Overall it was a decent book and contained a good amount of information on potential relationship deal-breakers.
I think the red flags could have been presented in a more comprehensive way but I also understand the authors were catering to a younger crowd. Overall it was a decent book and contained a good amount of information on potential relationship deal-breakers.
February 8, 2020
A few good points but not super into the total male bashing. "He's never going to propose"- that's not a fair assumption that it is a red flag. Otherwise I am a giant red flag. And "He's shady with his phone" while warning against clingers and oversharing.
Stage 5 clinger and being totally miserable, yes those are definitely red flags but kind of for anyone.
Part of me hopes this was meant to be to make fun of stereotypes.
Overall - disappointed.
Stage 5 clinger and being totally miserable, yes those are definitely red flags but kind of for anyone.
Part of me hopes this was meant to be to make fun of stereotypes.
Overall - disappointed.
August 22, 2018
This book did not apply to me personally but I did find it entertaining. If you are starting to think your boyfriend is a jerk.. It would be a good time to pick up this humorous yet confirming book.
April 3, 2019
Concise and good for what it is. High points and no fluff. 😂
October 26, 2020
My second to last partner was described basically in every chapter. :) Something to think about.
Funny, yet something I would recommend girls to read before jumping to a new relationship.
Funny, yet something I would recommend girls to read before jumping to a new relationship.
February 12, 2022
A bit too simplistic for my taste. Still, it's not a bad book and might be useful.
March 23, 2019
Funny Truths
Funny Truths to help keep your mind open and identify what you want in a relationship. Totally something to share with all of your girlfriends regardless if they are married or single!
Funny Truths to help keep your mind open and identify what you want in a relationship. Totally something to share with all of your girlfriends regardless if they are married or single!
January 29, 2020
Excellent. And very funny and informative. A great way to bolseter a sore heart, and the "wondering why". I'm movin' on!
August 13, 2012
"Dating gurus Burton, Fishman and McCrary tell it like it is for dating newbies and experienced romantics alike. These writers break the tired self-help, pity-party mold." --The Philadelphia Tribune
" The Little Black Book [is] essentially the dating guide for the Sex and the City generation: ladies who know how to meet men, but might be struggling to meet the right men. Please take the [authors'] advice…They could save you a lot of time and heartache." --Jill Dobson, CBS's The Early Show
"Though these three twenty-somethings have been blinded by love in the past, their hindsight is perfectly keen...The Little Black Book enumerates dating portents with moxie." --Marie Claire
“Captivating...A fun...window into the disastrous side of the dating world.” --Library Journal
“The Little Black Book may very well become the dating girls' handbook. Run out and get a copy of the book before you say yes, or no, to your next date ladies!” --Examiner.com
"The Little Black Book can help you understand women, which will help you get dates and help you get laid—and if you're really special, get laid on your dates." --MTV's Clutch Blog
“From bad boys to the emotionally infantile, these women manage to dish it out on the warning signs many women ignore. They find fun, light-hearted ways to talk about these tender topics in a blunt, honest tone.” --The Frederick News-Post
“Splendid book! I love it!” --E. Jean Carroll, advice columnist for ELLE Magazine
“For anyone who has ever had a bad date or stayed in a relationship too long knowing something just wasn’t right, this book is for you. You’ll relate to the authors’ stories and laugh along the way.” --Cyber-Dating Expert
"This book enlightens, teaches, amazes, delights all the while dispensing absolutely crucial information. Burton, Fishman and McCrary cover all the bases our mothers never spoke to us about." --The Review Broads Blog
"I've read a lot of relationship books in my day, and as a twenty-something who has been exposed to many of these red flags myself , I wish I would have had this dating Bible years ago. The next time you're wondering whether a guy is a keeper, read this book." --LoveTwenty.com
“For those of you that continually pick the wrong person, but can’t figure out why, this is the book for you...[The] writing is delightful and witty. The book doesn’t just point out the red flags though. It also gives concrete and great relationship advice.” --Post-Divorce Dating Club
“A compelling read...If you are a woman who does not have a dating game plan or your own set of dating rules of thumb, this book is a great read...This book also encourages you to have the courage and strength to stick to your rules, stick with your gut, and be prepared to walk away...Men can also benefit from this book. If you are able to attract women only to have them flee from you a short time into your relationships you may be throwing up a bunch of red flags...For men interested in long-term relationships, but unable to maintain them, this book should be mandatory reading.” --The Hatch Report
" The Little Black Book [is] essentially the dating guide for the Sex and the City generation: ladies who know how to meet men, but might be struggling to meet the right men. Please take the [authors'] advice…They could save you a lot of time and heartache." --Jill Dobson, CBS's The Early Show
"Though these three twenty-somethings have been blinded by love in the past, their hindsight is perfectly keen...The Little Black Book enumerates dating portents with moxie." --Marie Claire
“Captivating...A fun...window into the disastrous side of the dating world.” --Library Journal
“The Little Black Book may very well become the dating girls' handbook. Run out and get a copy of the book before you say yes, or no, to your next date ladies!” --Examiner.com
"The Little Black Book can help you understand women, which will help you get dates and help you get laid—and if you're really special, get laid on your dates." --MTV's Clutch Blog
“From bad boys to the emotionally infantile, these women manage to dish it out on the warning signs many women ignore. They find fun, light-hearted ways to talk about these tender topics in a blunt, honest tone.” --The Frederick News-Post
“Splendid book! I love it!” --E. Jean Carroll, advice columnist for ELLE Magazine
“For anyone who has ever had a bad date or stayed in a relationship too long knowing something just wasn’t right, this book is for you. You’ll relate to the authors’ stories and laugh along the way.” --Cyber-Dating Expert
"This book enlightens, teaches, amazes, delights all the while dispensing absolutely crucial information. Burton, Fishman and McCrary cover all the bases our mothers never spoke to us about." --The Review Broads Blog
"I've read a lot of relationship books in my day, and as a twenty-something who has been exposed to many of these red flags myself , I wish I would have had this dating Bible years ago. The next time you're wondering whether a guy is a keeper, read this book." --LoveTwenty.com
“For those of you that continually pick the wrong person, but can’t figure out why, this is the book for you...[The] writing is delightful and witty. The book doesn’t just point out the red flags though. It also gives concrete and great relationship advice.” --Post-Divorce Dating Club
“A compelling read...If you are a woman who does not have a dating game plan or your own set of dating rules of thumb, this book is a great read...This book also encourages you to have the courage and strength to stick to your rules, stick with your gut, and be prepared to walk away...Men can also benefit from this book. If you are able to attract women only to have them flee from you a short time into your relationships you may be throwing up a bunch of red flags...For men interested in long-term relationships, but unable to maintain them, this book should be mandatory reading.” --The Hatch Report
August 13, 2012
"Dating gurus Burton, Fishman and McCrary tell it like it is for dating newbies and experienced romantics alike. These writers break the tired self-help, pity-party mold." --The Philadelphia Tribune
"The Little Black Book [is] essentially the dating guide for the Sex and the City generation: ladies who know how to meet men, but might be struggling to meet the right men. Please take the [authors'] advice…They could save you a lot of time and heartache." --Jill Dobson, CBS's The Early Show
"Though these three twenty-somethings have been blinded by love in the past, their hindsight is perfectly keen...The Little Black Book enumerates dating portents with moxie." --Marie Claire
“Captivating...A fun...window into the disastrous side of the dating world.” --Library Journal
“The Little Black Book may very well become the dating girls' handbook. Run out and get a copy of the book before you say yes, or no, to your next date ladies!” --Examiner.com
"The Little Black Book can help you understand women, which will help you get dates and help you get laid—and if you're really special, get laid on your dates." --MTV's Clutch Blog
“From bad boys to the emotionally infantile, these women manage to dish it out on the warning signs many women ignore. They find fun, light-hearted ways to talk about these tender topics in a blunt, honest tone.” --The Frederick News-Post
“Splendid book! I love it!” --E. Jean Carroll, advice columnist for ELLE Magazine
“For anyone who has ever had a bad date or stayed in a relationship too long knowing something just wasn’t right, this book is for you. You’ll relate to the authors’ stories and laugh along the way.” --Cyber-Dating Expert
"This book enlightens, teaches, amazes, delights all the while dispensing absolutely crucial information. Burton, Fishman and McCrary cover all the bases our mothers never spoke to us about." --The Review Broads Blog
"I've read a lot of relationship books in my day, and as a twenty-something who has been exposed to many of these red flags myself , I wish I would have had this dating Bible years ago. The next time you're wondering whether a guy is a keeper, read this book." --LoveTwenty.com
“For those of you that continually pick the wrong person, but can’t figure out why, this is the book for you...[The] writing is delightful and witty. The book doesn’t just point out the red flags though. It also gives concrete and great relationship advice.” --Post-Divorce Dating Club
“A compelling read...If you are a woman who does not have a dating game plan or your own set of dating rules of thumb, this book is a great read...This book also encourages you to have the courage and strength to stick to your rules, stick with your gut, and be prepared to walk away...Men can also benefit from this book. If you are able to attract women only to have them flee from you a short time into your relationships you may be throwing up a bunch of red flags...For men interested in long-term relationships, but unable to maintain them, this book should be mandatory reading.” --The Hatch Report
"The Little Black Book [is] essentially the dating guide for the Sex and the City generation: ladies who know how to meet men, but might be struggling to meet the right men. Please take the [authors'] advice…They could save you a lot of time and heartache." --Jill Dobson, CBS's The Early Show
"Though these three twenty-somethings have been blinded by love in the past, their hindsight is perfectly keen...The Little Black Book enumerates dating portents with moxie." --Marie Claire
“Captivating...A fun...window into the disastrous side of the dating world.” --Library Journal
“The Little Black Book may very well become the dating girls' handbook. Run out and get a copy of the book before you say yes, or no, to your next date ladies!” --Examiner.com
"The Little Black Book can help you understand women, which will help you get dates and help you get laid—and if you're really special, get laid on your dates." --MTV's Clutch Blog
“From bad boys to the emotionally infantile, these women manage to dish it out on the warning signs many women ignore. They find fun, light-hearted ways to talk about these tender topics in a blunt, honest tone.” --The Frederick News-Post
“Splendid book! I love it!” --E. Jean Carroll, advice columnist for ELLE Magazine
“For anyone who has ever had a bad date or stayed in a relationship too long knowing something just wasn’t right, this book is for you. You’ll relate to the authors’ stories and laugh along the way.” --Cyber-Dating Expert
"This book enlightens, teaches, amazes, delights all the while dispensing absolutely crucial information. Burton, Fishman and McCrary cover all the bases our mothers never spoke to us about." --The Review Broads Blog
"I've read a lot of relationship books in my day, and as a twenty-something who has been exposed to many of these red flags myself , I wish I would have had this dating Bible years ago. The next time you're wondering whether a guy is a keeper, read this book." --LoveTwenty.com
“For those of you that continually pick the wrong person, but can’t figure out why, this is the book for you...[The] writing is delightful and witty. The book doesn’t just point out the red flags though. It also gives concrete and great relationship advice.” --Post-Divorce Dating Club
“A compelling read...If you are a woman who does not have a dating game plan or your own set of dating rules of thumb, this book is a great read...This book also encourages you to have the courage and strength to stick to your rules, stick with your gut, and be prepared to walk away...Men can also benefit from this book. If you are able to attract women only to have them flee from you a short time into your relationships you may be throwing up a bunch of red flags...For men interested in long-term relationships, but unable to maintain them, this book should be mandatory reading.” --The Hatch Report
April 10, 2017
I finished this a while back in my "He's Just Not That Into You", "Why Men Date Bitches" phase of my reading mood. Every once in a while, I'll pull out a random relationship book, not so much because I wanna tailor myself for the partner I'm with, or to assess if he's worth keeping, but rather to attain a little more focus on myself. See, I'm the nice girl who falls into the naive trap of being supportive, helpful, and hardworking, who (I'm embarrassed to admit) has allowed myself to be used and taken for granted more often than I should have. But growing up I assumed the belief that if you were hard working and good to the people around you, you'd get it back in spades. Yeah, right in the back. I've found since if you are too helpful and supportive, people will abuse the luxury of your company financially, emotionally, physically, etc...That goes for family, so-called friends, and partners. And then they have the gall to question why you are unhappy when they're not working but judging you for working too much.
Anyway, I found this book to be insightful and too true when it came to some of the situations the writers found themselves. The advice is well-thought out and real. If people actually were held accountable for their actions, you'd hope they'd stop, right? Instead, for whatever reason, we have slews of lovely, smart women who "accept" this lesser than ideal behavior (guys who don't work, or refuse to keep a job, who can't keep a clean place, guys who are irresponsible in bed, with their $, with their kids, with their bodies, etc..). It's just not worth investing long term in someone who doesn't respect himself, let alone you. And yet, we fall into these obvious traps, making excuses and concessions for someone who is honestly not worth having.
These big red flags are blatant but we ignore them in hopes he'll change for us. Yeah, there is little hope of that. So for anyone who wants a brilliant wake-up call, a reminder she is better than being the "weekend girlfriend", who is more than a wallet, and someone warm to sleep against when he's up for it, this is an excellent read. Depending on who you are and what you are willing to live with, not everything relationship-wise is a deal breaker, but this book spells out a pretty decent list of those that are.
Anyway, I found this book to be insightful and too true when it came to some of the situations the writers found themselves. The advice is well-thought out and real. If people actually were held accountable for their actions, you'd hope they'd stop, right? Instead, for whatever reason, we have slews of lovely, smart women who "accept" this lesser than ideal behavior (guys who don't work, or refuse to keep a job, who can't keep a clean place, guys who are irresponsible in bed, with their $, with their kids, with their bodies, etc..). It's just not worth investing long term in someone who doesn't respect himself, let alone you. And yet, we fall into these obvious traps, making excuses and concessions for someone who is honestly not worth having.
These big red flags are blatant but we ignore them in hopes he'll change for us. Yeah, there is little hope of that. So for anyone who wants a brilliant wake-up call, a reminder she is better than being the "weekend girlfriend", who is more than a wallet, and someone warm to sleep against when he's up for it, this is an excellent read. Depending on who you are and what you are willing to live with, not everything relationship-wise is a deal breaker, but this book spells out a pretty decent list of those that are.
September 2, 2012
I really enjoyed this book and had a hard time putting it down. I was attracted to the cover, and I had several friends who had to flip through it as soon as they saw it. The information is organized very well, and is presented in a fun, readable way. There's a "big red flag story" for every characteristic brought up in the book, as well as a "how many red flags can you spot in one story" at the end of each part. The subtitle really says it all for me: "relationship warning signs you totally spotted...but chose to ignore." I think it can be really helpful to have an unbiased spectator clue you in on your dating life. These three ladies make a lot of sense, and try to encourage their readers to hold out for someone they deserve instead of settling. They also don't say that a break up is necessary in every case, sometimes just being aware of the red flags can make a relationship easier to work through.
My only snobby, petty gripe with this book would be the grammatical errors. This is something that bugs me in anything printed for others to read, but the three authors are credited with having Master's degrees in Creative Writing, and I think I had higher expectations. This should probably be overlooked so I'll still give them 5 stars for this book. The control freak chapter really did speak to me...
My only snobby, petty gripe with this book would be the grammatical errors. This is something that bugs me in anything printed for others to read, but the three authors are credited with having Master's degrees in Creative Writing, and I think I had higher expectations. This should probably be overlooked so I'll still give them 5 stars for this book. The control freak chapter really did speak to me...
February 1, 2012
I found this book during my normal Barnes routine, grab a large stack of books settle down in a comfy chair and read the first couple of pages to figure out if I needed to take it home. This book was the only one I cracked open that day. Before I knew it I was on pages 30 and figured out if I did not buy the book it was like stealing!
I took it home and read it over three days. The advice was practical, peppered with real life stories and quick wit to keep it memorable. I liked the book but not enough to give it four stars because by the time I got to the end I couldn't focus on the writing. Although written smoothly it seems as if they could have summed it up before. With that being said maybe this is not a book you read from cover to cover but it could perhaps serve as a coffee table book....or the book you place on the back of the john for entertainment purposes, you know the kind of book you pick up read a chapter and move to the next activity.
Overall it was a good book that pointed out the obvious things that women usually overlook his under-employed status, lame hookups and deadbeat fathers we think we can change but we really can not.
I took it home and read it over three days. The advice was practical, peppered with real life stories and quick wit to keep it memorable. I liked the book but not enough to give it four stars because by the time I got to the end I couldn't focus on the writing. Although written smoothly it seems as if they could have summed it up before. With that being said maybe this is not a book you read from cover to cover but it could perhaps serve as a coffee table book....or the book you place on the back of the john for entertainment purposes, you know the kind of book you pick up read a chapter and move to the next activity.
Overall it was a good book that pointed out the obvious things that women usually overlook his under-employed status, lame hookups and deadbeat fathers we think we can change but we really can not.
June 23, 2011
I love relationship advice, not because I need it (I hope!), but because I enjoy giving it. I'm not THAT experienced (no Ph.D.!) but I am studying psych. After all, what more does finding Mr. Right come down to, than the woman mind?
The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags is a cute, sharp manual that's small in stature, but big in heart. Reading it, not only will you come to an understanding of questionable male behavior -- ranging from that of the weaklings, to the complete jackasses -- but also, laugh and wince along with numerous other women who tell their Big Red-Flag Stories. This book resonates distinct giggles, relatable instances, and tell-it-to-me truths that you'll be more than happy to keep in mind. Complete with 50 essential "rules" of the dating world, blunt, hysterical, and ever-so-observant, this Little Black Book deserves a spot on my "to read again and again and again" shelf, or better yet, to be tucked into my purse.
The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags is a cute, sharp manual that's small in stature, but big in heart. Reading it, not only will you come to an understanding of questionable male behavior -- ranging from that of the weaklings, to the complete jackasses -- but also, laugh and wince along with numerous other women who tell their Big Red-Flag Stories. This book resonates distinct giggles, relatable instances, and tell-it-to-me truths that you'll be more than happy to keep in mind. Complete with 50 essential "rules" of the dating world, blunt, hysterical, and ever-so-observant, this Little Black Book deserves a spot on my "to read again and again and again" shelf, or better yet, to be tucked into my purse.
March 1, 2013
Witty & Fun.. you can laugh it off but you can't deny many of the red flags were there all along. Yet, as all people in love do, we tend to overlook as we were, afterall, in love.. the abyss of madness. I would have rated it higher if not for my fear of it opening up my eyes Soo big that I would never again allow another episode of craziness. What is life without this crazy little thing called "Love". Someone once said that you don’t look for faults. You don’t look for answers. You don’t look for mistakes. Instead, you fight the mistakes. You accept the faults and you overlook excuses. The measure of love is when you love without measure. And love covers all. Having said that, I also realise I need to learn to love myself, at least enough to walk away when I need to.
September 3, 2013
I have a love/hate relationship with books that try to give advice about men, but what saves the Little Black Book is the little bit of comedy it comes with (I'll admit to having spent hours straight reading the blog when I discovered it).
There are two things that did bother me about this one:
1) All the advice is about red flags that men give off.
2) Many times the authors tap into obvious stereotypes and then attempt to backpedal using the excuse of "We know it's not always like this, but..."
Still, it's overall a fun, quick read and it was interesting to think about some of these I've seen in my own relationships in the past - and to think about the things that I take for granted.
There are two things that did bother me about this one:
1) All the advice is about red flags that men give off.
2) Many times the authors tap into obvious stereotypes and then attempt to backpedal using the excuse of "We know it's not always like this, but..."
Still, it's overall a fun, quick read and it was interesting to think about some of these I've seen in my own relationships in the past - and to think about the things that I take for granted.
September 20, 2013
Mostly common sense advice, but I guess women are so emotionally invested they keeping trying?
if some of the examples given were happening to their friend they'd see through the garbage the men pull and immediately tell their friend to dump the creep.
Fifty red flags are given.
If a guy confesses something to you, take heed and run! He knows himself better than you. And don't think for a nano second you can change him.
Make sure a man treats you with respect, because if he doesn't and you allow it, you're disrespecting yourself and that's worse.
Entertaining book with red flag stories of silly things women allowed men to get away with.
if some of the examples given were happening to their friend they'd see through the garbage the men pull and immediately tell their friend to dump the creep.
Fifty red flags are given.
If a guy confesses something to you, take heed and run! He knows himself better than you. And don't think for a nano second you can change him.
Make sure a man treats you with respect, because if he doesn't and you allow it, you're disrespecting yourself and that's worse.
Entertaining book with red flag stories of silly things women allowed men to get away with.
June 24, 2011
Hilarious, how NOT to find Mr. Right. A spin off of the blog of the same name, three friends poll toigether their experience strength and wisdom and share their dating woes and hoes with us. Full of reminiscent recaps, WTF moments, and top ten lists (a personal fave), this nonfiction book makes a great gift for all your gal pals. Compact, stylish and oh, so true, this book fits right inside your purse for any time you need a quick reference. Leave out on the coffee table so that your boyfriend might be tempted to sneak a peek and maybe he'll learn a thing or two:)
February 17, 2012
About half way into the book and it is reading like a "dating" advice column to unmarried women......thought it would be more help for a troubled marriage thing. Will post more later.....
Even though it still reads as a "dating" book answer to problems with men, I did enjoy the author's stories, especially some of the ones that they posted from women that they knew or from their blog.
Would recommend for all.......
Even though it still reads as a "dating" book answer to problems with men, I did enjoy the author's stories, especially some of the ones that they posted from women that they knew or from their blog.
Would recommend for all.......
December 10, 2012
At first I was skeptical of this book. Once I started reading, I couldn't put it down. It was very helpful and I wished that I read this when I first started dating. Some doesn't apply to me, but for the most part it was very insightful. It felt like having a girls' talk but all in one book. Some of it were common sense but if you don't have good role models and guidance for a healthy relationship, then this book is definitely helpful.
November 6, 2011
I only have one complaint about this book. These red flags could apply equally well to women, and honestly I've met a few guys that should read a book like this. Otherwise, I think this is a good book. I'd definitely consider giving a friend or my (older teen) daughter a copy. It's amusing and not too heavy, but loaded with good advice.
August 5, 2012
Attention Ladies: If you're seeing a waving RED FLAG... (or 2 or 3) when it comes to your dating life, chances are you don't need this book. Just in case you need confirmation of what that RED FLAG really represents, this is an amazing quick read/reference!
February 7, 2013
I wish someone had given this to me when I was 16. You would think I would know what "red flags" are by now, and intellectually on some level I do, but this book definitely opened my eyes to the mistakes I make when crushing on boys. Also, highly entertaining.
January 12, 2014
Enjoyed. Again, much like advice girlfriends would give you. Some truths are hard to hear. And when you see them - OK, when I see them - in print in a different context, it helps clarify. A few "A-HA" moments. Not gonna lie, this is new territory for this gal.
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