Love's Hidden Symmetry: What Makes Love Work in Relationships

by Bert Hellinger, Gunthard Weber, Hunter Beaumont

English (translation)Original German

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Self Help, Relationships, Love

330 pages, Hardcover

First published May 1, 1998

About the author

Bert Hellinger was a German psychotherapist associated with a therapeutic method best known as Family Constellations and Systemic Constellations.

Reviews

[Kimberly Carlson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was reading this book in support of my education in Systemic Constellation work. After spending some years experiencing this work in many different applications I have decided to become a facilitator. Reading Hellinger's first published records in the field after having my own experiences in it was quite illuminating.

There were too many aha moments to list them all here, though I will give you my two most profound that stemmed from the over all effect of this book on my psyche.

First, I am struck by how the works process and "orders" result in creating such an accurate mirror for our own souls. No matter what you think you know about an issue in your life, or in society's life, this work has the means to surprise you. Catch you off guard and turn your world upside down, in precisely the manner and for exactly as long as you needed to discover something new.

Secondly, the question "which do you value more, people or principles?" was posed directly at some point and the answer that developed within me and within the pages of this book changed everything about how I see myself and how I see others. I have spent many years feeling some alien and confused about my profound connection to principle rather than to people. Here I found a way to be, not just resigned to this true fact about myself, but to embrace it warmly from my heart.

[Sophia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bert Hellinger's approach and findings are intriguing if not challenging. For example you might find some of his suggestions are not 'politically correct' like renewing our maleness and femaleness in gender-specific circles in order to preserve creative tension. He doesn't apologise for this. In Bert's style he simply says that's what he has witnessed as working. I found his candidness refreshing. And enjoyed relating his perspectives to my own behaviours.

[Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really amazing book. Even it's mainly for psycho therapist and that profession audience, it is touching souls with clarity, truth. Life is what it is, you follow to experience it, no matter good, bad, ugly, the course itself has the most gracious feelings.

Really wish the book could be re-published to access to wider crowd.

[Daniel Cukier · Rating 5 out of 5]

This a a complete guide to understanding family constellations. It explains in details how our parents and grandparents influence in our decision making process, giving insights to how nodes with the past could be untied

[Dorothy Nesbit · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have the most profound respect for Bert Hellinger's work having experienced it via workshops facilitated by his colleagues.

This book moved me deeply. I particularly remember reading about one family constellation with a young couple who had lost pretty much all their family to the Holocaust. I wept on my train journey as I read the transcript of Hellinger's work with this couple.

A work of great clarity and compassion which honours our humanity and invites and facilitates healing.

[Karen Carnabucci · Rating 5 out of 5]

An important book about the profound work of philosopher and therapist Bert Hellinger who developed systemic constellation work, a method of healing intergenerational pain and trauma.

[Victoria · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read it on the way of educating myself into be among a family constellations facilitator.

I would highly recommend it to both the beginner facilitator and the experienced ones, both might get insights and aha moments for their practice.

Some of mines:
Perfect control always turns into control of nothing.
Distinctions among primary and second feelings:
-primary: support the constructive action
-consume energy, that could otherwise support change .
Every unhappiness that’s caused by systemic entanglement is accompanied by the deep contemptment of knowing that we belong.
Working with resolutions instead of problems.
The therapeutic task is, first of all to find the point at which the client loves.
The movement toward a solution is love, and seeing only serve good intentions and love.

We have to bend to fate and to bow down before our destiny.

And there are more, but will leave it here. Enjoy l!

[Carol · Rating 4 out of 5]

Makes a lo of sense

[Tara Petrić · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hellinger seems to be a prophet. His words touch something deeply in the soul and gives voice to something forgotten, but true, within. A great meditation on family systems and love, and a great lesson for many.

[Andrei Gheorghe · Rating 5 out of 5]

His way of being, of feeling and thinking, is one of the deepest I know, while still being quintessentially European. Scientific and deeply touching at same time, saying he's the ultimate empiricist is a gross understatement.

[Dean · Rating 4 out of 5]

http://www.goodreads.com/assets/layou...

[Janet · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting introduction to family constellation work.

[Tamara Patterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to the stranger in Seattle airport who told me to read this book. It's a life changer and gave me words of expression that needed to come out.