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80 pages, Paperback
Published April 4, 2023
It must give pleasure but rarely it rarely does.
But pleasure is so useful when it comes.
Pleasure says this is your sort of place, your year, you live here.
Pleasure's the perfect swerve. It wins you back.
Pain won't take you nowhere.
Chocolate on the tongue. Vodka. Velvet. Voilà.
A zipper slinking in its silver, its long slide down.
Studmuffin stuntman spicing up my winter quarantine
keep out of my dreams please with your
ersatz bedside manner inciting my time-wasting
libidinous should-we-get-to-know-each-other in some deep
ecstatic way? um, don't confuse dreamy apparition with
true tonic wilding into ruminative loop-the-loops—
ok, let's bring it down a notch say yes to hot earthling
nirvana—the incarnate husband, mortalflesh here&now
You in your ecstasy of coffee me all amped on juice
an ooze of sunshine a foil of water a concordance
two waves in sync making a larger bright
it's unseasonably warm again nothing will bloom
the trees blown way ahead of schedule and we never
kissed not even once despite the come-ons of summer
scented with rain, lilacs in the deli tempting to send me over the edge
as if we could rinse everything and be clean again but no—
Thursday 4 p.m. the city can be beautiful
when it wants to stands around so photogenic
by the boat pond, lucent doorway of the day
beams us through, pine needles, puddles, tussle
on the sidewalk, a pigeon or two— streaming by
here come the minutes exposing themselves
and there they go what is real?
June keeps on flaunting its meadow of music, its drink
let's leave our apartments and go to the park
it's a festival we want a popsicle some honeydew a break
let's go out into the music flowingbroadly now through giant speakers.
The success of friendship let's drink to it—
Hello emptiness that is coming it will engulf
and then, a freighted woman I'll fall back into my hole,
goodbye. My body will never be satisfied.
But here in the preheadache seasonal glitter,
first burst of summer, still the thrill of it, the heat—
I wanted to write the thing itself—
pinned, magnetic,
ambient swoon in the infinite air.
Eros writ large.
Life, the full force of it
pressing us together good and hard.
But. But what?
Catch me alive? I am today—swept through the air in a flesh,
thinky-feeling, lugging itself up the subway stairs
& now back on Spring Street again in the dazing light
pumping the marrow a breeze of breath a blood
& still the minutes accelerate & we wake backweighted
with days will we waste them all & then when we get there
we will think I wasted them all, stony before I was laid
in stone, mourning before I was mourned
& what was this velvet for? spring didn't know—
flags of the grave? well also a jubilance not just a bawling
& off again toward whatever, drinking exalted or coughing
but still can swallow & here all your parts are warm & mostly work
& look it's luck, while not yet a word from the underworld,
the necklace of days bracelets of hours the flush of blood
present swelling the yes please of sex the abject of—
is it precarious yes exquisite alive, staging its trance
the hand in hand, the mouth sloshed with coffee, sugared & warm,
your silent reading this now.