The Little Book of Christian Character & Manners

by William Dedrick, Colleen Dedrick

Have you ever felt like your kids were beyond your control? Would you like a little peace and quiet restored to your home? Are you fed up with trying to raise your children according to the latest psychological "findings" and theories, only ot discover they don't work? Well, then this "little book" is for you! The authors reach back to a time befroe the advent of child experts and uncover tried and true ways, rooted in the timeless wisdom of the Bible, of raising children. Handed down from generations past, these godly ways of building character and teaching manners - unlike the latest fads - have passed the test of time. This much-needed "little book" is intended not to be exhaustive child-training manual, but to provide a framework upon which to build practical standards for discipline and manners in your home.

Genres: Parenting, Family

128 pages, Paperback

First published September 20, 2000

Reviews

[Aaron · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was mostly good. It contains a certain degree of practical advice which most parents desparately need, and yet avoids the pitfall of similar books (i.e. To Train up a Child) which are based on the Hullian Behaviorism of Skinner, Watson and others.

My only complaint is that at times, the authors appear to take some liberties with scripture which are not known to the text (for example, claiming that scripture defines the rod as a "thin stick ...what we would call a switch") all the while citing scriptures which do not support the statement. Sure, this is probably inconsequential, but it reveals a propensity to read their definitions into the Biblical text rather than remaining silent where scripture is silent. While this is a criticism, it should be taken as an encouragement to search the scriptures given as citations to ensure that they truly support the authorial interpretation. We are all guilty of doing this so I don't want to belabor it or be overly critical. They are much more Biblically literate than the Pearls and they have a solid reformed presupposition which is clearly lacking in the Pearl book.

There was one peculiar moment in the book in which the authors seem to endorse the Romish tradition of the "seven deadly sins" when perhaps a better example which would have illustrated the point even better would have been to cite the "six things the Lord hateth, and seven that are an abomination to Him" from proverbs if they were wanting seven examples, but again, this is perhaps nitpicking on my behalf. I found very little with which to disagree in this book a day heartily recommend it to others who want practical down to earth ideas and a reformed, dominion oriented theology of discipline.

[Rachelle Phipps · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’ve been a Christian for many years and was raised by godly parents who loved me and nurtured me. I rarely needed to be spanked, especially as much as this book recommends. Not only that; it seems to have an undertone of abuse while having a “cover-up” overtone of love and nurture. Very strange book. I don’t know why I kept reading this except that I like to finish books that I start and needed to read a few books on manners and etiquette for a co-op class I’m teaching. There were hardly any manners mentioned and a lot of spanking mentioned. I have seven kids. My home is orderly and fun and I don’t have to resort to spanking to achieve this. I’d love to know how this couple’s two kids turned out...

[Christina Woodruff · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy, insightful, Biblically-geared read.

[Jeremy · Rating 4 out of 5]

About a year or so ago I first articulated to Kara something that I had thought for a while but had never put into words: Parents who discipline/train their children bless society, and parents who refuse to discipline/train their children curse society.

I disagreed strongly with nothing in this book, and I inherited these practices intuitively from my parents. I can see some people being disturbed by some of the recommendations: early age for corporal punishment (p. 28) and potty training (p. 86); discipline for intentional "accidents" (p. 87), prolonged thumb-sucking (p. 88), forgetfulness (p. 93), and dawdling (p. 93); assuming that only the father works outside the home (pp. 74, 101); etc. A few places seemed a little overly strict/formal, but nothing seemed unbiblical.

The harvest of peace and joy that comes from discipline could have been emphasized more—some chapters almost reach the level of shrillness at times (not that the content was incorrect). Dr. Spock is one of the bad guys (permissiveness, instant gratification).

Recommended.

Preface
9: presupposition that the Bible is authoritative
10: revival through homeschooling
11: harshness ≠ strictness

Introduction
14: low view of secular education/psychology

Ch. 1: The Biblical Basis of Discipline
18: biblical bassi for fatherly authority (Gen. 18:19; Ex. 20:12; Lev. 19:3, 32; Deut. 6:1–9; Deut. 32:46–47; Hebrews 12:5–9; Eph. 6:4; 1 Tim. 3:4, 12 [and Ps. 78:5–8]); expect obedience
19: paideia; Webster's 1828 dictionary referenced numerous times throughout (mentions Eph. 6 in its definition of nurture)

Ch. 2: Discipline: The Foundation for Godly Character
headings: discipline, obedience, wisdom, devotion to God, knowledge of God, respect for authority
28: start discipline early (babies/toddlers)
29: volume ≠ tone; say "no"
30: flick hands
31: spanking—9-18 months
32: parents who refuse to discipline bring trouble on themselves and others
36–38: youth groups can be problematic (dividing age groups; desperate attempts to be relevant)
42: DeGraaf's 4-volume Promise and Deliverance
44–45: importance of catechizing and God's law
50: teach children to serve —> take care of parents when older

Ch. 3: The Rod of Discipline
56: real abuse is refusing to discipline; spank with thin stick on bare skin
59: "terrible twos" is not a phase that just disappears in time
60: diversion is merely avoiding dealing with the root problem (selfishness)

Ch. 4: Teaching Wise Conduct and Good Manners
headings: piety or holy living, courtesy in speech, respect for life and property, eating habits and table manners, hygiene and cleanliness, self-restraint, quietness, industry, honesty
66: "A child who receives teaching about God for only a few minutes on Sunday, a grace at meal times, and some bedtime prayers thrown in at night is being reared in the pietist tradition"
67: Bible teaching and memorization
68: read/discuss/pray Proverbs (from age 5 up)
77: battles fought during mealtime can generate great rewards in the future
78: importance of mealtime: no TV, thankfulness, sharing, learning, laughing, storytelling
84: all of this behavioral stuff is an act of love for neighbors, self, and God
86: start potty training as early as 8 months!
87: discipline might be appropriate for some potty accidents
88: prolonged thumb-sucking (older than 3) needs to be addressed
89: church nurseries can be a crutch for kids who just don't know how to sit still
90: Susanna Wesley; dominion mandate (elsewhere in the book there are references to WSC 1, "think God's thoughts after Him," etc.)
92: chores at a very young age (2 and up)
93: forgetfulness can be cured; chore chart

Ch. 5: The Father's Duty to Establish Loving Discipline
99: no church leadership for fathers with uncontrolled children
101: assumption that the wife stays home
103: routine family worship; read lots!
105: invite guests for meals
106: another plug for homeschooling

Ch. 6: Susanna Wesley: The Legacy of a Virtuous Mother
Not very informative.

Appendix A: Warning Signs
Helpful section.

Appendix B: The Disciplined Child
Descriptions from Proverbs (and elsewhere) of wise children.

Appendix C: The Undisciplined Child
Descriptions from Proverbs (and elsewhere) of foolish children.

Bibliography/Sources

Endnotes
123–24: Chalcedon Report; Rushdoony; Moscow, ID
125: Freud ("animal-man driven by bodily functions and sexual energy") and Dewey ("permissiveness; learning by experience and feeling")

127: non-ironic ad for Elsie Dinsmore books; Mark Dinsmore did the cover and interior design of the book

[Douglas Wilson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good, but parts poor.