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Flash Point: A Firefighter's Journey Through PTSD
For twenty-five years, paramedic and firefighter Christy Warren put each tragic, traumatizing call she responded to in a box and closed the lid. One day, however, the box got too full and the lid blew open—and she found herself unable to close it again. Her brain locked her inside a movie theater in which film after film of gut-wrenching scenes from her career played over and over again; she found herself incapable of forgiving herself for what happened at one call in particular. Caught in a loop of shame, anger, irritability, and hypervigilance—classic signs of PTSD—she began to spiral, even to the point of considering suicide, and yet still she was reluctant to seek help.
In the end, it took almost losing her marriage to force Christy into action—but once she began to reach out, she found a whole army of folks waiting and ready to help her. The team of people supporting her eventually grew to include an EMDR therapist, a psychiatrist, her peers at a trauma retreat, and a lawyer who made the case for medical retirement and workers compensation. Along the way, Christy learned the vital truths that made it possible to keep going even in her darkest moments—that post-traumatic stress was literally a brain injury; that suicide and alcohol were not the only ways out; that asking for help was a sign of strength, not weakness; and that although it was ultimately up to her to do the work to change the dialogue in her head, she was not alone.
In the end, it took almost losing her marriage to force Christy into action—but once she began to reach out, she found a whole army of folks waiting and ready to help her. The team of people supporting her eventually grew to include an EMDR therapist, a psychiatrist, her peers at a trauma retreat, and a lawyer who made the case for medical retirement and workers compensation. Along the way, Christy learned the vital truths that made it possible to keep going even in her darkest moments—that post-traumatic stress was literally a brain injury; that suicide and alcohol were not the only ways out; that asking for help was a sign of strength, not weakness; and that although it was ultimately up to her to do the work to change the dialogue in her head, she was not alone.
- GenresMemoir
276 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 20, 2023
4 people are currently reading
103 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
June 20, 2023
Thank you to the author Christy Warren, publisher She Writes Press, and TLC Book Tours, for an advance print copy of FLASH POINT.
Christy Warren is a retired fire captain and emt and, prior to her retirement, had faced down danger and served the public in countless harrowing circumstances. Not only had she functioned in these moments at her highest possible capacity, she had never expressed the fear or trauma that would be expected from someone facing the most demanding imaginable situations multiple times a day. There simply wasn't time or space for Christy to manage the demands of her job, keep everyone and herself safe, meet her basic needs, live her basic life with her wife, unload all that weight, all the work that would take, and then get up and do it all again the next day.
Was it any wonder all that unfaced trauma turned into to PTSD? And that eventually, Christy just couldn't function sufficiently any longer?
Christy doesn't shy away from her truth in her memoir, FLASH POINT. She writes about drinking, self medicating, and the terrible things she saw that replay in her nightmares. She writes about the struggle to be vulnerable and reach out for help, to beg family members to believe yet again, one more time, while trying again to fix herself. She's so honest about all this, and yet she's always realistic about the role hope and determination play in obtaining intervention for PTSD.
I chose this book because, as someone who lives with and manages PTSD, I'm always looking for stories from people who share my slice of normal. I felt so proud of Christy when I finished reading this book. Proud of her for learning a new way of life, and for writing this book to share it with all of us. How hopeful, and bold!
Rating: 🌟🌟🌟.75 / 5 stars
Recommend? Yes
Finished: June 7 2023
Format: Advance Reader Copy
Read this book if you like:
👤 Memoir
🧠 Mental health rep
👩🚒 Emergency workers
👁 Disability rep
Christy Warren is a retired fire captain and emt and, prior to her retirement, had faced down danger and served the public in countless harrowing circumstances. Not only had she functioned in these moments at her highest possible capacity, she had never expressed the fear or trauma that would be expected from someone facing the most demanding imaginable situations multiple times a day. There simply wasn't time or space for Christy to manage the demands of her job, keep everyone and herself safe, meet her basic needs, live her basic life with her wife, unload all that weight, all the work that would take, and then get up and do it all again the next day.
Was it any wonder all that unfaced trauma turned into to PTSD? And that eventually, Christy just couldn't function sufficiently any longer?
Christy doesn't shy away from her truth in her memoir, FLASH POINT. She writes about drinking, self medicating, and the terrible things she saw that replay in her nightmares. She writes about the struggle to be vulnerable and reach out for help, to beg family members to believe yet again, one more time, while trying again to fix herself. She's so honest about all this, and yet she's always realistic about the role hope and determination play in obtaining intervention for PTSD.
I chose this book because, as someone who lives with and manages PTSD, I'm always looking for stories from people who share my slice of normal. I felt so proud of Christy when I finished reading this book. Proud of her for learning a new way of life, and for writing this book to share it with all of us. How hopeful, and bold!
Rating: 🌟🌟🌟.75 / 5 stars
Recommend? Yes
Finished: June 7 2023
Format: Advance Reader Copy
Read this book if you like:
👤 Memoir
🧠 Mental health rep
👩🚒 Emergency workers
👁 Disability rep
June 17, 2023
I was nineteen years old, an emergency medical technician, writes Warren, working for a private ambulance company. On any given day for the next twenty-five years of my career as a paramedic and a firefighter, whenever I smelled hot asphalt, my skin sensed that woman's hair on my arm and heard her boy's screams (loc. 60*).
3.5 stars. As an EMT, Warren loved her job—but thought she could do more. After training as a paramedic, she still loved her job—and still thought she could do more. And when she shifted to firefighting, Warren excelled, holding her own against the job's exacting standards and against her own even more exacting standards. Lessons learned in childhood proved useful: she could put each trauma she saw and experienced in a box and shut the lid, and she could move on. It worked—until it didn't.
Warren's story is not an easy read. Some of her jobs sound like absolute doozies, and although it's possible that she's pulling punches (and no matter how good or detailed a description, I don't think it's possible for a reader to fully appreciate the impact of seeing and smelling and hearing and touching people burned, people broken), it certainly doesn't feel like it. I've read my fair share of first-responder memoirs, but I can't say that I've ever thought about seeing a woman's burned skin come off on your coat while you carry her to medical help. It's worth going in to the book prepared for grisly scenes, but it's also perhaps worth noting that I don't think it's really possible for the vast majority of first responders experiencing such things to go in prepared—to go in qualified, yes, but all the reading in the world couldn't tell me how I would feel working with trauma every day, or how it would sit in my bones.
I'm reminded, reading Warren's story, of a memoir by a doctor-soldier that I read a few years ago. Of the things he talked about, reluctance to acknowledge and deal with his PTSD stands out in my memory—this conviction that to admit to having PTSD would be to admit to a weakness, even if ignoring trauma meant compounding trauma, not only for himself but for the people around him. Warren's version is much more sympathetic to the people around her, but it is a painful reminder of how we view invisible illness and invisible trauma. If a firefighter thinks she should be "strong enough" to refuse painkillers with a smashed-in leg, you can imagine how hard it must be to address the things less talked about. Here's hoping that stories like Warren's can be impetus for change—not only for more accessible, more openly acknowledged treatment for acute PTSD, but for finding ways to address trauma sooner, so that fewer responders are simply stuffing it in boxes until the boxes can hold no more.
Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.
*Quotes are taken from a review copy and may not be final.
3.5 stars. As an EMT, Warren loved her job—but thought she could do more. After training as a paramedic, she still loved her job—and still thought she could do more. And when she shifted to firefighting, Warren excelled, holding her own against the job's exacting standards and against her own even more exacting standards. Lessons learned in childhood proved useful: she could put each trauma she saw and experienced in a box and shut the lid, and she could move on. It worked—until it didn't.
Warren's story is not an easy read. Some of her jobs sound like absolute doozies, and although it's possible that she's pulling punches (and no matter how good or detailed a description, I don't think it's possible for a reader to fully appreciate the impact of seeing and smelling and hearing and touching people burned, people broken), it certainly doesn't feel like it. I've read my fair share of first-responder memoirs, but I can't say that I've ever thought about seeing a woman's burned skin come off on your coat while you carry her to medical help. It's worth going in to the book prepared for grisly scenes, but it's also perhaps worth noting that I don't think it's really possible for the vast majority of first responders experiencing such things to go in prepared—to go in qualified, yes, but all the reading in the world couldn't tell me how I would feel working with trauma every day, or how it would sit in my bones.
I'm reminded, reading Warren's story, of a memoir by a doctor-soldier that I read a few years ago. Of the things he talked about, reluctance to acknowledge and deal with his PTSD stands out in my memory—this conviction that to admit to having PTSD would be to admit to a weakness, even if ignoring trauma meant compounding trauma, not only for himself but for the people around him. Warren's version is much more sympathetic to the people around her, but it is a painful reminder of how we view invisible illness and invisible trauma. If a firefighter thinks she should be "strong enough" to refuse painkillers with a smashed-in leg, you can imagine how hard it must be to address the things less talked about. Here's hoping that stories like Warren's can be impetus for change—not only for more accessible, more openly acknowledged treatment for acute PTSD, but for finding ways to address trauma sooner, so that fewer responders are simply stuffing it in boxes until the boxes can hold no more.
Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.
*Quotes are taken from a review copy and may not be final.
February 25, 2023
The first thing I ask myself at the end of a memoir is, "did this person tell me everything, or just enough to seem genuine?" In the case of Christy Warren's Flash Point, I have no doubt she left her soul on the page.
A walk through the life of an EMT, turned paramedic, turned firefight, Flash Point is about how negative self-talk and trauma will build up and destroy your life. Warren writes this book with zero sense of self-preservation and it leaves her looking even more heroic. As someone who has PTSD, Warren's journey rings true in more ways than is prudent to detail in a book review. What I can say is that it hit so close to home that there were multiple times I needed to put the book down and get some space. I can't give her higher marks for honesty.
Warren's words are simple, to the point, and makes it feel like you are sitting next to an old friend who decided to unburden themselves after years of hiding. It's an excellent book and a must read.
(This book was provided as an advance copy by Netgalley and She Writes Press.)
A walk through the life of an EMT, turned paramedic, turned firefight, Flash Point is about how negative self-talk and trauma will build up and destroy your life. Warren writes this book with zero sense of self-preservation and it leaves her looking even more heroic. As someone who has PTSD, Warren's journey rings true in more ways than is prudent to detail in a book review. What I can say is that it hit so close to home that there were multiple times I needed to put the book down and get some space. I can't give her higher marks for honesty.
Warren's words are simple, to the point, and makes it feel like you are sitting next to an old friend who decided to unburden themselves after years of hiding. It's an excellent book and a must read.
(This book was provided as an advance copy by Netgalley and She Writes Press.)
March 27, 2023
I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. Thank you NetGalley.
Flash Point is a memoir about a firefighter's journey in their job and with their struggles with PTSD. I think a lot of people often forget or overlook how debilatating PTSD can be for anyone... and most don't realize that firefighters frequently take their job home with them everyday.
The author did a great job telling their story and making it relatable and engaging.
Well worth the read.
Flash Point is a memoir about a firefighter's journey in their job and with their struggles with PTSD. I think a lot of people often forget or overlook how debilatating PTSD can be for anyone... and most don't realize that firefighters frequently take their job home with them everyday.
The author did a great job telling their story and making it relatable and engaging.
Well worth the read.
June 21, 2023
For twenty-five years, paramedic and firefighter Christy Warren put each tragic, traumatizing call she responded to in a box and closed the lid. One day, however, the box got too full and the lid blew open—and she found herself unable to close it again. Her brain locked her inside a movie theater in which film after film of gut-wrenching scenes from her career played over and over again; she found herself incapable of forgiving herself for what happened at one call in particular. Caught in a loop of shame, anger, irritability, and hypervigilance—classic signs of PTSD—she began to spiral, even to the point of considering suicide, and yet still she was reluctant to seek help.
In the end, it took almost losing her marriage to force Christy into action—but once she began to reach out, she found a whole army of folks waiting and ready to help her. Along the way, Christy learned the vital truths that made it possible to keep going even in her darkest moments—that post-traumatic stress was literally a brain injury; that suicide and alcohol were not the only ways out; that asking for help was a sign of strength, not weakness; and that although it was ultimately up to her to do the work to change the dialogue in her head, she was not alone.
“I wondered if sometimes we caused more harm than good by saving a life.”
I ask myself this question every shift. Every. Single. One. This is a question that probably sounds callous or heartless to those that don’t understand. Those not in medicine. But it’s not. I promise, it isn’t.
This book had me doing some serious introspective work on how those of us that see people on what is usually their worst day handle that. How do you save a life or, often, lose a life, and then go home and walk the dog and read a bedtime story to your own kids? I love this book for normalizing just how CRAZY that is. What we see. What we do. And then how we go on. So thank you, Christy, for showing that women can be SO strong in so many different ways. Asking for help takes immeasurable strength as does therapy, admitting faults, and healing.
You are a badass, and I salute you. Thank you for writing this and for making those of us that do these types of jobs feel a little less alone and a little more hopeful. All of the stars, girl. All of them.
Thank you to @tlcbooktours, @ffdeconstructed, and @shewritespress for the #gifted copy.
In the end, it took almost losing her marriage to force Christy into action—but once she began to reach out, she found a whole army of folks waiting and ready to help her. Along the way, Christy learned the vital truths that made it possible to keep going even in her darkest moments—that post-traumatic stress was literally a brain injury; that suicide and alcohol were not the only ways out; that asking for help was a sign of strength, not weakness; and that although it was ultimately up to her to do the work to change the dialogue in her head, she was not alone.
“I wondered if sometimes we caused more harm than good by saving a life.”
I ask myself this question every shift. Every. Single. One. This is a question that probably sounds callous or heartless to those that don’t understand. Those not in medicine. But it’s not. I promise, it isn’t.
This book had me doing some serious introspective work on how those of us that see people on what is usually their worst day handle that. How do you save a life or, often, lose a life, and then go home and walk the dog and read a bedtime story to your own kids? I love this book for normalizing just how CRAZY that is. What we see. What we do. And then how we go on. So thank you, Christy, for showing that women can be SO strong in so many different ways. Asking for help takes immeasurable strength as does therapy, admitting faults, and healing.
You are a badass, and I salute you. Thank you for writing this and for making those of us that do these types of jobs feel a little less alone and a little more hopeful. All of the stars, girl. All of them.
Thank you to @tlcbooktours, @ffdeconstructed, and @shewritespress for the #gifted copy.
February 21, 2023
There was one constant in Christy Warren's childhood: that you can't count on anything, or anyone, except yourself. As a result, adult Christy becomes extraordinarily self-reliant, and intent on helping others.
This is a book for anyone who has ever wondered what goes on in the back of an ambulance [raising my hand here], but also for anyone interested in how the human mind processes—and ultimately fails to process—childhood trauma as well as unimaginably harrowing scenes of injury and death day after day, month after month, year after year. As an EMT, a firefighter, and ultimately a captain, Christy absorbs a lifetime of trauma, and I suspect her book only scratches the surface of what she has witnessed and experienced. Ultimately, the cumulative weight of the tragedies becomes too much to bear, and the remarkable grit and self-reliance (and ability to compartmentalize) that served her so well as an emergency responder ends up being the biggest barrier in her own recovery.
This book can be a tough read, but it is also, at times, unexpectedly, uproariously funny. And while Christy's writing is direct and candid, it's also artful. She skillfully weaves thematic threads throughout her narrative—liquids, for instance. At the beginning of the book, we see her guzzling gallons of coffee; later she tries to drown her pain in alcohol; eventually she finds both purpose and peace in the San Francisco Bay (no spoilers, but I am in awe of what she has managed to do in her so called "retirement"). What a journey, and what an incredible look into the world of first responders and Christy's heroic efforts to save others -- and, ultimately, herself. Highly recommended.
This is a book for anyone who has ever wondered what goes on in the back of an ambulance [raising my hand here], but also for anyone interested in how the human mind processes—and ultimately fails to process—childhood trauma as well as unimaginably harrowing scenes of injury and death day after day, month after month, year after year. As an EMT, a firefighter, and ultimately a captain, Christy absorbs a lifetime of trauma, and I suspect her book only scratches the surface of what she has witnessed and experienced. Ultimately, the cumulative weight of the tragedies becomes too much to bear, and the remarkable grit and self-reliance (and ability to compartmentalize) that served her so well as an emergency responder ends up being the biggest barrier in her own recovery.
This book can be a tough read, but it is also, at times, unexpectedly, uproariously funny. And while Christy's writing is direct and candid, it's also artful. She skillfully weaves thematic threads throughout her narrative—liquids, for instance. At the beginning of the book, we see her guzzling gallons of coffee; later she tries to drown her pain in alcohol; eventually she finds both purpose and peace in the San Francisco Bay (no spoilers, but I am in awe of what she has managed to do in her so called "retirement"). What a journey, and what an incredible look into the world of first responders and Christy's heroic efforts to save others -- and, ultimately, herself. Highly recommended.
July 11, 2023
Firefighters are often seen as the ultimate heroes. Their sole job is to help, regardless of race, status, sobriety level, etc. When the fire truck shows up, most of us breathe a sigh of relief. But few of us stop to think of the toll it takes to show up to the most horrible of disasters and attempt the impossible and sometimes heartbreaking task of setting things right and putting the broken back together.
Christy's experiences show us what day in, day out of traumatic calls can do to the minds and hearts of the Helpers. It is an eye opening perspective that everyone needs to read, underscored by the number of first responders whose PTSI leads them to completed suicide. It's past time the Helpers are given the help they need.
Christy's experiences show us what day in, day out of traumatic calls can do to the minds and hearts of the Helpers. It is an eye opening perspective that everyone needs to read, underscored by the number of first responders whose PTSI leads them to completed suicide. It's past time the Helpers are given the help they need.
June 25, 2023
I was very excited to read Christy’s book as she is a friend. I also have listened to all her episodes of her podcast Firefighter Deconstructed. I have learned so much from those episodes where law enforcement officers, firefighters, dispatchers, ambulance staff and their families have discussed their experiences with PTSD.
I learned so much more about Christy from reading her book. It is so honest and so HER that I actually hear her voice as I’m reading.
I admire her so much. She’s a Rock Star!
I learned so much more about Christy from reading her book. It is so honest and so HER that I actually hear her voice as I’m reading.
I admire her so much. She’s a Rock Star!
June 26, 2023
The story of firefighter/paramedic/hockey player Christy Warren. We played on some hockey teams together. I knew that she was a firefighter/paramedic, but didn't realize what she had been going through.
Christy had been on "A Slight Change of Plans" podcast - I had already been listening to that podcast.
Christy's story is well written, and incredibly vulnerable. A not great childhood resulting in Christy feeling invisible and never NEVER ever enough. This drives her through a career in the fire service, but after 25 yrs of seeing terrible things with accidents and fires, the boxed up feelings exploded out - revealing PTSD.
It took her awhile to find out that's what was going on. Initially went to the "I'm no good" and I'm defective internal thoughts.
A great many first responders have this - this helped Christy. It took several years to work through it - it was not one retreat and done.
Christy had been on "A Slight Change of Plans" podcast - I had already been listening to that podcast.
Christy's story is well written, and incredibly vulnerable. A not great childhood resulting in Christy feeling invisible and never NEVER ever enough. This drives her through a career in the fire service, but after 25 yrs of seeing terrible things with accidents and fires, the boxed up feelings exploded out - revealing PTSD.
It took her awhile to find out that's what was going on. Initially went to the "I'm no good" and I'm defective internal thoughts.
A great many first responders have this - this helped Christy. It took several years to work through it - it was not one retreat and done.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Read
November 14, 2024A brutally honest account of the things that those on the front line deal with because their work involves seeing horrific and traumatic shit on an hourly basis (I was reminded a bit of some of the cases in When Breath Becomes Air). Some of the accounts of her cases were absolutely gruesome and I had to take breaks reading. The prose is not for me and I ended up skimming and DNF'ing halfway but I appreciated the author's honesty and willingness to be laid bare.
July 30, 2023
Fascinating, inspiring, heart-warming, and hopeful
We all count on emergency first responders like EMT’s and firefighters to come to the rescue with competence and compassion, and that’s what Christy Warren did for 25 years. But we don’t often reflect on the toll that it takes on these very human people to witness tragedy after tragedy, and this book helps us do that. Warren’s beautifully-written account of the thrill of the emergencies she responded to in the job she loved, the trauma to her brain and life that eventually resulted, and the way she learned to love and heal herself is fascinating, inspiring, and heart-warming. And hopeful for all those suffering from PTSD. A triumph of a book and a perfect summer read for all!
We all count on emergency first responders like EMT’s and firefighters to come to the rescue with competence and compassion, and that’s what Christy Warren did for 25 years. But we don’t often reflect on the toll that it takes on these very human people to witness tragedy after tragedy, and this book helps us do that. Warren’s beautifully-written account of the thrill of the emergencies she responded to in the job she loved, the trauma to her brain and life that eventually resulted, and the way she learned to love and heal herself is fascinating, inspiring, and heart-warming. And hopeful for all those suffering from PTSD. A triumph of a book and a perfect summer read for all!
July 26, 2023
Honest, heart wrenching and relatable, Warren’s book delves into the difficult calls she experienced and her struggle to process them in a healthy manner. The prose is excellent and the story flows so well it was hard to put down. Bits of Warren’s humor shine through here and there for comedic relief as you plummet through the horror she dealt with in her years as an EMT and firefighter paramedic as well as during her LOA while she sought treatment for her PTSD. I love a solid conclusion and this one definitely fits the bill. A must read!
August 2, 2023
Flashpoint is a book for everyone! It is engaging, vulnerable, and raw providing insight into what life as a first responder is like and the horrific events they see, hear and experience. It describes the heart wrenching experience of PTSD and what it does to the men and women who serve and sacrifice their lives for the community. Above all, it beautifully tells of Warren’s courageous journey of navigating PTSD, her bravery of facing her past, and her struggle to overcome her demons to create a life of empowerment and joy.
July 10, 2023
This book will be with me for a while. Christy Warren was a first responder for 25 years until PTSD took its toll. She takes us on a journey that without her compassion and humor, might have been too grisly to bear. Great books make their readers better humans, I am grateful for the increased awareness I gained for first responders.
May 1, 2024
“Healing Self, Others, the World,” Knox Book Beat, The Berkeley Times, 24 August, 2023
Christy Warren’s Flash Point: A Firefighter's Journey Through PTSD (2023) from Berkeley’s She Writes Press carries the same simplicity, gripping readability, active description and emotional urgency as does Khan-Cullors’ and bandele’s Terrorist, but in a somewhat different venue.
Warren had a “chaotic” youth, familiar with “child neglect and parental anger” who earned praise, respect and a captainship as a Berkeley first responder and “loved the job;” but eventually slid into perfectionism, hypervigilance and uncontrollable anger that barely covered her relentless self-blame, despair at “never being good enough,” exhaustion, increased alcohol consumption and nightmare flashbacks in which she “became completely overwhelmed.”
I recognized her “magical thinking” family position immediately, as well as her constant internal “images” of her assumed “failures” where “I was supposed to fix and save everyone whose life intersected with mine,” “never-show-weakness” stoicism, self-punishing agony of “this shouldn’t be happening to me” and “Whatever I did, I was always letting someone down… I based my self-worth on making everyone happy.”
Luckily, my extremely visceral reaction to the “wound cleaning” video in our nursing assistant class “weeded me out” from being a first responder. Other choices I’d made about my strength, heroism in matters of childbirth, health and parenting and shame and fear about “weakness” in the face of huge odds had not always been so clear-cut!
The difficulty of seeking help, accepting her subsequent PTSD diagnosis, leave of absence, support, therapeutic, group, legal and peer counseling sounded like it took years from the perpetually resistant interior monologue in Warren’s head, but actually was less than that. “My heart wanted to get better, but my head did not believe I deserved to.”
Mental panic, “ruminating” and “I can’t do this” eventually waffled back and forth with “Stop minimizing everything you’ve been through,” “Give yourself the very same grace you give others,” “letting go” here and there and accepting “I was the one who had to find hope… No one else could save me. I had to save myself.”
Role models of her fellow first responders’ shared stories of visceral horror, guilt, shame, struggle and survival alongside how they and folks like Anthony Ray Hinton, 30 years on death row finally exonerated “survived…by monitoring the dialogue in his head” encouraged her to keep going, “do something,” “Behave your way out. Take action.”
“PTSD leaves a path of destruction,” she admits, but she was “lucky,” active, healthy and well-positioned enough to RECOGNIZE she had a problem, REACH OUT and do pretty well at ADDRESSING it.
At least I and quite a few other people not only think she did VERY well, but maybe spectacularly in a humanity and support groups where almost “Everyone… had a craptacular childhood. I had been protecting this great secret of how I was raised, when so many others held onto this same secret that grew into a garden of shame.”
One wise person I came in contact with in this past decade of self-analysis called self-help, trauma healing and therapy “figuring out and finding ‘where the corpses are buried’ personally and ancestrally; inspecting, holding and re-interring them with more understanding, depth, respect, caring and dignity.”
In that and for Warren, “I am not alone in this” was a recurring revelation and gift. Gratitude, kindness and compassion became her watchwords – for others AND herself. “I was going to catch myself when I didn’t want to ask for help. I was going to stop myself when I lacked self-compassion.”
She did not go back to her job, but wrote this WONDERFUL memoir pertinent to and accessible by pretty much EVERYONE. Next book on our list: The Myth of Normal, by Gabor Maté?
Christy Warren’s Flash Point: A Firefighter's Journey Through PTSD (2023) from Berkeley’s She Writes Press carries the same simplicity, gripping readability, active description and emotional urgency as does Khan-Cullors’ and bandele’s Terrorist, but in a somewhat different venue.
Warren had a “chaotic” youth, familiar with “child neglect and parental anger” who earned praise, respect and a captainship as a Berkeley first responder and “loved the job;” but eventually slid into perfectionism, hypervigilance and uncontrollable anger that barely covered her relentless self-blame, despair at “never being good enough,” exhaustion, increased alcohol consumption and nightmare flashbacks in which she “became completely overwhelmed.”
I recognized her “magical thinking” family position immediately, as well as her constant internal “images” of her assumed “failures” where “I was supposed to fix and save everyone whose life intersected with mine,” “never-show-weakness” stoicism, self-punishing agony of “this shouldn’t be happening to me” and “Whatever I did, I was always letting someone down… I based my self-worth on making everyone happy.”
Luckily, my extremely visceral reaction to the “wound cleaning” video in our nursing assistant class “weeded me out” from being a first responder. Other choices I’d made about my strength, heroism in matters of childbirth, health and parenting and shame and fear about “weakness” in the face of huge odds had not always been so clear-cut!
The difficulty of seeking help, accepting her subsequent PTSD diagnosis, leave of absence, support, therapeutic, group, legal and peer counseling sounded like it took years from the perpetually resistant interior monologue in Warren’s head, but actually was less than that. “My heart wanted to get better, but my head did not believe I deserved to.”
Mental panic, “ruminating” and “I can’t do this” eventually waffled back and forth with “Stop minimizing everything you’ve been through,” “Give yourself the very same grace you give others,” “letting go” here and there and accepting “I was the one who had to find hope… No one else could save me. I had to save myself.”
Role models of her fellow first responders’ shared stories of visceral horror, guilt, shame, struggle and survival alongside how they and folks like Anthony Ray Hinton, 30 years on death row finally exonerated “survived…by monitoring the dialogue in his head” encouraged her to keep going, “do something,” “Behave your way out. Take action.”
“PTSD leaves a path of destruction,” she admits, but she was “lucky,” active, healthy and well-positioned enough to RECOGNIZE she had a problem, REACH OUT and do pretty well at ADDRESSING it.
At least I and quite a few other people not only think she did VERY well, but maybe spectacularly in a humanity and support groups where almost “Everyone… had a craptacular childhood. I had been protecting this great secret of how I was raised, when so many others held onto this same secret that grew into a garden of shame.”
One wise person I came in contact with in this past decade of self-analysis called self-help, trauma healing and therapy “figuring out and finding ‘where the corpses are buried’ personally and ancestrally; inspecting, holding and re-interring them with more understanding, depth, respect, caring and dignity.”
In that and for Warren, “I am not alone in this” was a recurring revelation and gift. Gratitude, kindness and compassion became her watchwords – for others AND herself. “I was going to catch myself when I didn’t want to ask for help. I was going to stop myself when I lacked self-compassion.”
She did not go back to her job, but wrote this WONDERFUL memoir pertinent to and accessible by pretty much EVERYONE. Next book on our list: The Myth of Normal, by Gabor Maté?
October 16, 2024
Gripping and Courageous. Flash Point: A Firefighter's Journey Through PTSD is a riveting and courageous story that kept me engaged both with heart-pumping, in-the-moment stories of the author’s and her colleagues’ heroic firefighting and life-saving work and its emotional toll. We witness Christy Warren’s journey from a brave young rescuer up the ranks to Captain of the Berkeley Fire Department. For decades, she walled off memories of tragic situations she and her colleagues faced.
Eventually, after coping in the moment with so many tragedies, they accumulated and re-emerged as PTSD to haunt her. Even while struggling, Warren writes with empathy and humor. Several times I laughed out loud, and as many times I wept as the PTSD took her down a dark path. Eventually, she gives herself permission to reach out for help.
Flash Point is a moving story of friendship and community that will give others in similar situations hope, as well as tools for coping with PTSD. This book is a must-read for anyone who’s experienced PTSD from being a first-responder as well as their spouses, family, and friends—and for that matter—any of us who have benefited from the altruism of brave people like Christy Warren.
Eventually, after coping in the moment with so many tragedies, they accumulated and re-emerged as PTSD to haunt her. Even while struggling, Warren writes with empathy and humor. Several times I laughed out loud, and as many times I wept as the PTSD took her down a dark path. Eventually, she gives herself permission to reach out for help.
Flash Point is a moving story of friendship and community that will give others in similar situations hope, as well as tools for coping with PTSD. This book is a must-read for anyone who’s experienced PTSD from being a first-responder as well as their spouses, family, and friends—and for that matter—any of us who have benefited from the altruism of brave people like Christy Warren.
May 30, 2025
Beautiful. Gripping. Relatable. Warren writes harrowing scenes from her life as a paramedic and a firefighter with a raw, gut-wrenching honesty that cracks open a world I honestly never really thought about.
Flash Point’s call scenes are sensory and crushing. And just as you feel like you can’t breathe from the damage of the scene, Warren recalls how she and her coworkers would go eat lunch.
Flash Point is a mind bending, deeply personal look at what it’s like to provide a service most of us take for granted.
And as you can imagine, someone who repeatedly experiences severe trauma and then neatly packs it away in a box in her head before going to get tacos is going to suffer PTSD.
Christy Warren’s healing journey is extraordinary. And the way she wrote about it with such honesty had me crying with her. This book explores how she summoned the courage to ignore the voice in her head that constantly yammered about how she wasn’t good enough and sought out an amazing peer group, therapy, and medication to help heal her brain and her soul.
At a time when so many are starting to realize that stuffing our trauma and bottling it up is not the only way to live, this story is so important.
Flash Point’s call scenes are sensory and crushing. And just as you feel like you can’t breathe from the damage of the scene, Warren recalls how she and her coworkers would go eat lunch.
Flash Point is a mind bending, deeply personal look at what it’s like to provide a service most of us take for granted.
And as you can imagine, someone who repeatedly experiences severe trauma and then neatly packs it away in a box in her head before going to get tacos is going to suffer PTSD.
Christy Warren’s healing journey is extraordinary. And the way she wrote about it with such honesty had me crying with her. This book explores how she summoned the courage to ignore the voice in her head that constantly yammered about how she wasn’t good enough and sought out an amazing peer group, therapy, and medication to help heal her brain and her soul.
At a time when so many are starting to realize that stuffing our trauma and bottling it up is not the only way to live, this story is so important.
August 2, 2023
𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐋𝐄: 𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐓 : 𝐀 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐉𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐏𝐓𝐒𝐃
𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑: 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝗪𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧
𝐏𝐔𝐁 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄: 𝟎𝟔.𝟐𝟎.𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐀𝐯𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞
I work with EMTs/ Paramedics/Firefighters every day as an Emergency Room Nurse. I hear the stories, I see the faces, I feel the emotional pain and trauma of being a first responder on scene. The stories I hear range from the miraculous, the funniest, and sometimes the unspeakable.
Christy Warren’s story as a hopeful and bright eyed 19 year old EMT, through decades of being a firefighter and paramedic, and finally a well respected Berkley fire captain before retiring - is relatable, written in a style so readable and heart wrenching, that is also both insightful and impactful.
Christy Warren’s story can provide guidance to anyone suffering through PTSD in any situation as they learn that the power and strength through this is by accepting and seeking the help instead of turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms.
I was moved by reading this candid and honest memoir - and Inhave already bought a few copies to share with my colleagues.
𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑: 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝗪𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧
𝐏𝐔𝐁 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄: 𝟎𝟔.𝟐𝟎.𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐀𝐯𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞
I work with EMTs/ Paramedics/Firefighters every day as an Emergency Room Nurse. I hear the stories, I see the faces, I feel the emotional pain and trauma of being a first responder on scene. The stories I hear range from the miraculous, the funniest, and sometimes the unspeakable.
Christy Warren’s story as a hopeful and bright eyed 19 year old EMT, through decades of being a firefighter and paramedic, and finally a well respected Berkley fire captain before retiring - is relatable, written in a style so readable and heart wrenching, that is also both insightful and impactful.
Christy Warren’s story can provide guidance to anyone suffering through PTSD in any situation as they learn that the power and strength through this is by accepting and seeking the help instead of turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms.
I was moved by reading this candid and honest memoir - and Inhave already bought a few copies to share with my colleagues.
January 27, 2024
I have the greatest respect for first responders and service personnel who continually put their lives at risk to save and protect ours. Christy has taken us through what can happen and how to come out the other side, and she has done it with such raw honesty that you almost want to jump through the page and hug her and tell her it will be okay. We can only imagine what it might be like to be confronted by some of the incidents that people like Christy faced on a daily basis, but to actually experience it would a whole new ball game. I am grateful for this insiders journey with PTSD, I have a greater understanding now of what some people in my own life might have experienced, including my ex-husband. There is no doubt Christy's book will give hope to many current and former first responders and service personnel experiencing PTSD, and help them on their road to regaining control of their lives. Thank you Christy for sharing your story and shining a light on the journey through PTSD.
July 18, 2023
First responder Christy Warren takes us through her life and how she became a paramedic and firefighter in Northern California. You may think you know the types of distressing calls that are their daily routine, but Warren's prose takes you into those moments. You feel the whiplash of rushing out, dealing with tragedy, and putting it aside immediately as you prep for the next call.
Warren shows incredible bravery, strength, and vulnerability as she takes you through the mental and physical toll of the job. She chronicles her experiences with PTSD and and offers a view seldom shared in public.
Not just a must-read for first-responders and their families, but everyone.
Warren shows incredible bravery, strength, and vulnerability as she takes you through the mental and physical toll of the job. She chronicles her experiences with PTSD and and offers a view seldom shared in public.
Not just a must-read for first-responders and their families, but everyone.
August 26, 2024
Raw. Honest. Powerful. Emotional. Hopeful.
Thank you Christy for talking about something no one wants to talk about. Thank you for saying the things we never want to admit or say out loud. Thank you for showing us, we are not alone.
I felt so much less crazy after reading this one. I felt understood without having to say a word. I learned parts about me and why I’ve struggled so hard/long. I felt a sense of hope after finishing this one. This will definitely be a book I come back to and read again.
If you struggle with PTSD, you’re in the fire field, or you have a loved one who suffers with PTSD, this book is worth the read.
Thank you Christy for talking about something no one wants to talk about. Thank you for saying the things we never want to admit or say out loud. Thank you for showing us, we are not alone.
I felt so much less crazy after reading this one. I felt understood without having to say a word. I learned parts about me and why I’ve struggled so hard/long. I felt a sense of hope after finishing this one. This will definitely be a book I come back to and read again.
If you struggle with PTSD, you’re in the fire field, or you have a loved one who suffers with PTSD, this book is worth the read.
September 29, 2024
I met Christy shortly after the events in the book. I had no idea this is what she went through, and reading about her life and PTSD struggles was a bit awkward at first, almost like reading her personal journal. I could hear her voice as I was reading, I couldn’t put the book down and it’s made me thing she’s an even stronger badass than I already thought she was.
September 27, 2023
FLASH POINT
by CHRISTY WARREN
An extraordinary accounting of one woman’s firefighting career and her harrowing life and death experiences while being a hero.
Brave. Check.
Selfless. Check.
Compassionate. Check.
PTSD. Check mate.
10/10 recommend.
July 13, 2023
I've also wondered about the ups and downs first responders experience. Wonder no more, as it's pretty much all in this book—a powerful and riveting read.
December 1, 2023
great account of the lack of representation and discussion of mental health in first response, especially PTSD and trauma response
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