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The Grieving Therapist: Caring for Yourself and Your Clients When It Feels Like the End of the World
For readers of No Cure for Being Human and Simple Self-Care for Therapists , a witty and compassionate field guide to the 10 realms of grief--and how to navigate them yourself and with clients.
How do you practice good therapy when it’s the end of the world as we know it…and no one feels fine?
The planet is burning, friends and family are falling to cults and QAnon, and we’re all living through the collective trauma of a global pandemic. Among therapists and healers, burnout is rampant; hopelessness and despair are, too. In The Grieving Therapist , psychotherapists Larisa Garski, LMFT, and Justine Mastin, LMFT, give voice to the difficulties of therapising in today’s world--and offer a grief-informed framework for taking care of yourself as you take care of others.
Informed by narrative, internal family systems, fanfic, and trauma-sensitive therapy, Garski and Mastin examine what it means to be a therapist at the end of the world (or what feels like it). They break down 10 realms of grief that are critical to understand and work with today, but likely weren’t taught to you in therapy school. Each chapter
Garski and Mastin also share helpful guidance around working with clients whose social or political beliefs differ from yours; when therapeutic self-disclosure makes sense; honoring the information that countertransference is trying to give you; and how to sit with (or step away from) triggers in your work.
With humor, compassion, irreverence, and more than a little whimsy, The Grieving Therapist shows you how to show up for yourself, and your clients--in your own full humanity, amidst it all.
How do you practice good therapy when it’s the end of the world as we know it…and no one feels fine?
The planet is burning, friends and family are falling to cults and QAnon, and we’re all living through the collective trauma of a global pandemic. Among therapists and healers, burnout is rampant; hopelessness and despair are, too. In The Grieving Therapist , psychotherapists Larisa Garski, LMFT, and Justine Mastin, LMFT, give voice to the difficulties of therapising in today’s world--and offer a grief-informed framework for taking care of yourself as you take care of others.
Informed by narrative, internal family systems, fanfic, and trauma-sensitive therapy, Garski and Mastin examine what it means to be a therapist at the end of the world (or what feels like it). They break down 10 realms of grief that are critical to understand and work with today, but likely weren’t taught to you in therapy school. Each chapter
Garski and Mastin also share helpful guidance around working with clients whose social or political beliefs differ from yours; when therapeutic self-disclosure makes sense; honoring the information that countertransference is trying to give you; and how to sit with (or step away from) triggers in your work.
With humor, compassion, irreverence, and more than a little whimsy, The Grieving Therapist shows you how to show up for yourself, and your clients--in your own full humanity, amidst it all.
- GenresPsychologyNonfiction
256 pages, Paperback
Published July 25, 2023
14 people are currently reading
1940 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
December 29, 2024
Admittedly so, it took me a few months of picking this up and putting it down again to really get into it. Getting my hands on an audio copy was what finally helped me get thru it.
I wish I didn’t wait so long because I found a lot of relatable, especially being a therapist through COVID and all of the times and trials since. I thought it was interesting how there was encouragements to pause and reflect as well as meditation like experiences. the approaches of being an educator, therapist, or a client really helped the whole picture. I related to much of what they talked about and will likely reference back in my own practice moving forward.
I loved the connections and use of IFS, as well as the encouragement to prevent burn out for yourself.
Will definitely recommend to other therapists.
Thanks NetGalley for the ARC
I wish I didn’t wait so long because I found a lot of relatable, especially being a therapist through COVID and all of the times and trials since. I thought it was interesting how there was encouragements to pause and reflect as well as meditation like experiences. the approaches of being an educator, therapist, or a client really helped the whole picture. I related to much of what they talked about and will likely reference back in my own practice moving forward.
I loved the connections and use of IFS, as well as the encouragement to prevent burn out for yourself.
Will definitely recommend to other therapists.
Thanks NetGalley for the ARC
January 4, 2024
My experience of the book differed considerably from my expectations of the book based on the description provided, my own needs, and why I sought out the book. Once I was able to wrestle with what this book was versus what I thought it would be, I found it pretty helpful.
As some context--I have professional training as a Marriage & Family Therapist and a thanatologist. I'm finishing up my PhD in Counseling Psychology (all but dissertation). My modalities of choice include both Narrative Therapy and trauma informed CBT. During the pandemic, I was operating in multiple roles: clinician, supervisor, educator, and student. In many ways, I was probably the ideal audience for the book.
What I was expecting was a very clinical text with specific research-informed interventions on managing your own grief and loss when working with individual clients.
Instead, I got a text that blended narrative techniques, meditation exercises, reflections, and writings from various folks both within and outside of the field. It reminded me of one of my favorite new-age-esque meditation books that I never recommend to others because it didn't age well but I've also never found anything that did as much for self-discovery. Once I got over what I expected the book to be and what it was, I found I really enjoyed it. It spoke to the parts of the therapeutic process that often show up in the room but are absent from clinical discussion. The authors were sensitive and caring and used their combined voices well throughout the text!
Things I liked:
* The structure! 10 chapters that follow the same structure with a visualization steeped in narrative metaphor, reflections from the writers and their own self-of-the-therapist journeys, bits of writings connected to the topic from others, lots of validation, and then how to take it into different areas (self of the therapist, supervision, education, grief + love). This structure made it easy to both follow along and consume a chapter at a time with relative ease (which is great with busy clinical days). I didn't have to worry about going back to catch up or worrying about where to pause.
* The animal connections. This might be a bit too "out there" for me to be able to recommend to some of my colleagues, but as a person that works often with human/animal relationships, these metaphors and narratives worked well for me.
* I have seen very few books that directly acknowledge self-of-the-therapist work and did not realize how much I was craving this until the book delivered.
* They covered a wide range of topics of grief across systemic levels! I loved this immensely because it is often hard to be grieving something broad and not have support or words for it. In particular, the chapter about grieving aspects of the profession hit home.
* Very specifically, there was some reflection on how billing is the same regardless of the emotional energy and the grief connected to that. I hadn't reflected too strongly on that prior and this was very helpful.
Things I liked less:
* My experience with fanfiction has not been as positive as the authors. This could be my baggage, but in chatting with a few other narrative therapists, I heard similar experiences (which is possibly just confirmation bias on my end) so if you are not "deep into the fandom" of something, some of the suggestions might come across as....hmm. Dismissive isn't quite the right word. But there's a layer of depth for fanfiction writers that's often assumed within fanfiction that isn't always assumed outside.
As an example, I both loved and felt a strong reaction to one of the authors discussing a reframe with a difficult client with a strong religious belief and values that differed and marginalized the author. The author was able to reframe this as "the jesus fandom" (not a direct quote, I might have it wrong!). This was so clever and also left a little gut feeling of "oh, that feels not-so-good in a cultural kind of way."
* Community care VS self-care was mentioned but I would have loved to see more specific guides, suggestions, or reflections. While grief is an individual experience, with mentions of community care, I guess I wanted, well, more community. That might be beyond the scope of the book so take this review with a grain of salt; my reaction was more "this was mentioned and then not really explored."
A reflection that I don't know where else to put connected to this book:
* I actually picked the book up due to an experience with disenfranchised grief that wasn't showing up in clinical spaces so much as it was non-clinical spaces. Being a therapist and grieving is weird. My experience has been many folks assume I should "get over it" or "grieve better" because I have all of these tools. Some folks have actually told me directly they provide less support because "therapists don't need it."
A supervisor had shared that it can be hard to have a normal (difficult) human experience as a therapist because it is often seen as a professional failing. His context was talking about parenting but I felt it with grief.
The book didn't quite help with that. It DID help with situations like having a client come in for eco-anxiety and both of us looking out the windows and laughing because it was dark at 12pm noon from wildfire smoke and knowing we both felt that grief but not knowing how to verbalize it. It helped for mourning winters that are not as cold as they used to be. It helped for mourning early stages of my career and what it could have been (telehealth, I was told, was not a reasonable accommodation--and then boom! covid! now it's the norm). It helped for journaling and reflecting a lot on aspects of having both privileged identities and marginalized ones.
Who I'd recommend this book to:
I cannot recommend this book to all of my colleagues, but it's one that I can definitely see passing on to those that work with a wide range of modalities--particularly under the constructivist/post-modern umbrella-- and those clinicians that are struggling with large and ambiguous loss when it comes into the room. I also passed it on to two supervisors--one a colleague, one a superior--and hope they enjoy it as much as I did.
As some context--I have professional training as a Marriage & Family Therapist and a thanatologist. I'm finishing up my PhD in Counseling Psychology (all but dissertation). My modalities of choice include both Narrative Therapy and trauma informed CBT. During the pandemic, I was operating in multiple roles: clinician, supervisor, educator, and student. In many ways, I was probably the ideal audience for the book.
What I was expecting was a very clinical text with specific research-informed interventions on managing your own grief and loss when working with individual clients.
Instead, I got a text that blended narrative techniques, meditation exercises, reflections, and writings from various folks both within and outside of the field. It reminded me of one of my favorite new-age-esque meditation books that I never recommend to others because it didn't age well but I've also never found anything that did as much for self-discovery. Once I got over what I expected the book to be and what it was, I found I really enjoyed it. It spoke to the parts of the therapeutic process that often show up in the room but are absent from clinical discussion. The authors were sensitive and caring and used their combined voices well throughout the text!
Things I liked:
* The structure! 10 chapters that follow the same structure with a visualization steeped in narrative metaphor, reflections from the writers and their own self-of-the-therapist journeys, bits of writings connected to the topic from others, lots of validation, and then how to take it into different areas (self of the therapist, supervision, education, grief + love). This structure made it easy to both follow along and consume a chapter at a time with relative ease (which is great with busy clinical days). I didn't have to worry about going back to catch up or worrying about where to pause.
* The animal connections. This might be a bit too "out there" for me to be able to recommend to some of my colleagues, but as a person that works often with human/animal relationships, these metaphors and narratives worked well for me.
* I have seen very few books that directly acknowledge self-of-the-therapist work and did not realize how much I was craving this until the book delivered.
* They covered a wide range of topics of grief across systemic levels! I loved this immensely because it is often hard to be grieving something broad and not have support or words for it. In particular, the chapter about grieving aspects of the profession hit home.
* Very specifically, there was some reflection on how billing is the same regardless of the emotional energy and the grief connected to that. I hadn't reflected too strongly on that prior and this was very helpful.
Things I liked less:
* My experience with fanfiction has not been as positive as the authors. This could be my baggage, but in chatting with a few other narrative therapists, I heard similar experiences (which is possibly just confirmation bias on my end) so if you are not "deep into the fandom" of something, some of the suggestions might come across as....hmm. Dismissive isn't quite the right word. But there's a layer of depth for fanfiction writers that's often assumed within fanfiction that isn't always assumed outside.
As an example, I both loved and felt a strong reaction to one of the authors discussing a reframe with a difficult client with a strong religious belief and values that differed and marginalized the author. The author was able to reframe this as "the jesus fandom" (not a direct quote, I might have it wrong!). This was so clever and also left a little gut feeling of "oh, that feels not-so-good in a cultural kind of way."
* Community care VS self-care was mentioned but I would have loved to see more specific guides, suggestions, or reflections. While grief is an individual experience, with mentions of community care, I guess I wanted, well, more community. That might be beyond the scope of the book so take this review with a grain of salt; my reaction was more "this was mentioned and then not really explored."
A reflection that I don't know where else to put connected to this book:
* I actually picked the book up due to an experience with disenfranchised grief that wasn't showing up in clinical spaces so much as it was non-clinical spaces. Being a therapist and grieving is weird. My experience has been many folks assume I should "get over it" or "grieve better" because I have all of these tools. Some folks have actually told me directly they provide less support because "therapists don't need it."
A supervisor had shared that it can be hard to have a normal (difficult) human experience as a therapist because it is often seen as a professional failing. His context was talking about parenting but I felt it with grief.
The book didn't quite help with that. It DID help with situations like having a client come in for eco-anxiety and both of us looking out the windows and laughing because it was dark at 12pm noon from wildfire smoke and knowing we both felt that grief but not knowing how to verbalize it. It helped for mourning winters that are not as cold as they used to be. It helped for mourning early stages of my career and what it could have been (telehealth, I was told, was not a reasonable accommodation--and then boom! covid! now it's the norm). It helped for journaling and reflecting a lot on aspects of having both privileged identities and marginalized ones.
Who I'd recommend this book to:
I cannot recommend this book to all of my colleagues, but it's one that I can definitely see passing on to those that work with a wide range of modalities--particularly under the constructivist/post-modern umbrella-- and those clinicians that are struggling with large and ambiguous loss when it comes into the room. I also passed it on to two supervisors--one a colleague, one a superior--and hope they enjoy it as much as I did.
August 28, 2023
A very helpful and validating book for those in helping professions!
December 18, 2024
3.5 ⭐️
January 2, 2025
The early chapters felt like they crammed a lot/tried to be everything for everyone. I enjoyed the later chapters and did take away some helpful interventions. I can see myself coming back to reference the faith and crisis chapters for sure.
September 26, 2024
***GOODREADS GIVEAWAY WINNER***
I appreciated that this book brought realism to overwhelming, society-impacting topics for clinicians. I also appreciated the more "woo woo" approach the authors took to holding space for these topics through affirmations and meditations. As a seasoned professional in crisis work, I did not find anything new offered within this book's pages. It held space for tough topics. It provided basic and straightforward recommendations for self-care and processing. These things are important, so I did enjoy it overall. Something I would offer a student in graduate school; not something I would recommend for a seasoned pro looking to deepen their personal practice.
I appreciated that this book brought realism to overwhelming, society-impacting topics for clinicians. I also appreciated the more "woo woo" approach the authors took to holding space for these topics through affirmations and meditations. As a seasoned professional in crisis work, I did not find anything new offered within this book's pages. It held space for tough topics. It provided basic and straightforward recommendations for self-care and processing. These things are important, so I did enjoy it overall. Something I would offer a student in graduate school; not something I would recommend for a seasoned pro looking to deepen their personal practice.
March 6, 2023
Thank you NetGalley and publishers for the opportunity to read and review. As a student interested in pursuing a PhD in Psychology this was an insightful read to the world of therapy and a side that I have not read about yet. It was refreshing to find tools to aid the therapist personally as well, something for myself to keep in mind when one day I start practicing as well. This was an insightful, well paced read!
February 22, 2023
Even therapists require treatment to deal with their emotional suffering.
The Grieving Therapist illustrates how stressful situations can make this profession difficult.
It provides a useful understanding of the personal struggles therapists face and the means by which they might find assistance for themselves.
Recommended for those working in this field.
The Grieving Therapist illustrates how stressful situations can make this profession difficult.
It provides a useful understanding of the personal struggles therapists face and the means by which they might find assistance for themselves.
Recommended for those working in this field.
October 1, 2023
The information was good but the structure of the book was in a style that I did not connect with.
February 13, 2024
The Grieving Therapist by Larisa Garski and Justine Mastin is an insightful read into the difficulties faced by therapists in today’s world. Many therapists have been faced with increasing loss and hearing about loss by their clients due to the recent pandemic. In the book, the Grieving Therapist, the topic of dealing with grief is significantly covered. It provides guidance to therapists as to how to handle their own grief so that they can assist their clients with theirs. It serves as a reminder and guidebook to therapists that they must engage in the self-care habits that they direct their clients to do. This guidebook was engaging as the narration was not “all knowing” and “directive”, but rather, guiding and helpful. Each section also known as “realm” of the book provides “grieving tools” where personal vignettes and stories of real life implementation of tools were shared. This was especially helpful and insightful. There are many skills and tools presented in the book including- establishing limits, having a neutral zone, not magnifying everything and there is much more. I found that I recognized many of the tools that were presented, but perhaps may have utilized different terminology to explain them. I liked the terminology that was utilized in this book. Each “realm” or chapter includes a description of the tool being discussed, ways for the therapist to use the tool with the client, ways for the therapist to utilize the tool him/herself, tips for supervisors, advice to new therapists, and meditations. There was a significant amount of helpful information provided in this book. I highly recommend it. Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the advance review copy in exchange for my honest review.
December 29, 2025
The Grieving Therapist announces itself as a timely and much-needed book: a reflection on what it meant to be a therapist during COVID, when professionals were suddenly expected to hold other people’s fear, grief, and despair while privately navigating their own. That premise alone deserves credit. This is one of the first books to explicitly acknowledge that therapists, too, were grieving.
Unfortunately, the execution does not live up to the idea. The book is written in a flat, repetitive, and often surprisingly uninspired prose that turns genuinely important themes into something close to a training manual you keep skimming in hopes it will end soon. Points are restated, reframed, and reiterated with such insistence that even readers sympathetic to the subject may find their attention drifting. What could have been a concise, reflective essay stretches into a full-length book without accumulating proportional insight.
That said, it would be unfair to dismiss it entirely. Scattered throughout are practical and occasionally useful reminders about boundaries, emotional containment, and self-protection for caregivers and mental health professionals—particularly the permission to acknowledge one’s own grief rather than heroically suppress it. These moments hint at the book that might have been: sharper, more self-aware, and more emotionally honest.
Unfortunately, the execution does not live up to the idea. The book is written in a flat, repetitive, and often surprisingly uninspired prose that turns genuinely important themes into something close to a training manual you keep skimming in hopes it will end soon. Points are restated, reframed, and reiterated with such insistence that even readers sympathetic to the subject may find their attention drifting. What could have been a concise, reflective essay stretches into a full-length book without accumulating proportional insight.
That said, it would be unfair to dismiss it entirely. Scattered throughout are practical and occasionally useful reminders about boundaries, emotional containment, and self-protection for caregivers and mental health professionals—particularly the permission to acknowledge one’s own grief rather than heroically suppress it. These moments hint at the book that might have been: sharper, more self-aware, and more emotionally honest.
May 2, 2023
This is the warm hug I need now, and definitely needed three years ago as a social worker, caring for others and self during such crazy times. If you are a therapist, supervisor or student this has to be required reading. The writers take you through the challenges of being a caregiving professional in such a unique, narrative way that you are left feeling seen, heard and held. “The authors give voice to the difficulties of therapising in today’s world- and offer a grief-informed framework for taking care of yourself as you take care of others.” So thankful for the ARC!
August 1, 2024
i listened to this so i think i had a different experience of the organization of the book. helpful affirmations within, alot of use of narrative/ IFS conceptualizations which is cool. Just a bit lack luster couldnt exactly tell you why - might be my own headspce and burnout with grieving the world at large?
January 6, 2024
I appreciate what they did, but this is not my preferred style of writing and while I felt validated in some instances, I’m not coming away with new information or large insights. Just not the book for me.
March 30, 2023
#TheGrievingTherapist #NetGalley
A well written book for those in the grieving process. I personally found the book helpful.
A well written book for those in the grieving process. I personally found the book helpful.
August 24, 2023
Ehh a lot of it went over my head
September 6, 2023
Would recommend to any therapist! The healing I didn’t know I needed from the pandemic. Very well thought out and insightful.
November 3, 2023
Owl and rat know what’s up!
December 30, 2023
As a therapist myself, I feel seen and supported. Thank you for the strong imagery used and mindfulness.
May 23, 2024
This was all over the place in writing I did not enjoy this overall, a few good paragraphs here and there though
April 18, 2025
A warm hug for a brand new therapist in training. Inspiring, resourceful, philosophical, and magical. Love and appreciated this so much!
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews