In a dystopian, cyberpunk future, a group of nuns are convicted of murder and sentenced to hard time at the Corman District Penitentiary. With the help of an undercover ally, an escape plan is in the works. But the deeds of a mad scientist and a sadistic warden won't make things easy. And the vampire problem doesn't help.
Join PC3 in this blood-soaked, action-packed, fully nude vision of pure cinematic exploitation!
Patrick C. Harrison III (PC3, if you prefer) is an author of horror, splatterpunk, and all forms of speculative fiction. His current publications include GRANDPAPPY, A SAVAGE BREED, VAMPIRE NUNS BEHIND BARS, 5 TALES THAT WILL LAND YOU IN HELL, among others, and his works can be found in numerous anthologies, including AND HELL FOLLOWED and ROAD KILL: TEXAS HORROR BY TEXAS AUTHORS VOL. 4.
PC3 is the Splatterpunk Award-winning editor (with Jarod Barbee) of AND HELL FOLLOWED, and has edited several other anthologies. He is a freelance editor, having done work for notable authors like Aron Beauregard, Daniel J. Volpe, Mark Towse, Rebecca Rowland, and many others.
PC3 also has a FREE substack, in which he frequently does movie reviews and updates readers on his fiction. Check out pc3horror.substack.com.
4.5 stars. Holy Christ in Christmas! This was one helluva wild ride. Cyborgs, vampires, lesbian nuns, futuristic weaponry, a massive prison riot, conspiracies and underground testing!!! Like wow! PC3 packed a ton into this story and man did he excel. The initial group of nuns all had their own unique personalities, but Mother Superior and Willow were the standouts. Just bonafied bad ass women of the cloth. Even through a verbally and physically abusive warden, they navigated through their time at the prison like champs. Now there wasn’t a ton of vampire-related content early on, but once it happens in the latter half, the action, gore, and horror aspects really took shape. And to bring up the warden again, she was a perfect antagonist in every way. And she keeps bringing more and more interesting dynamics into the story as it progresses. But I loved almost everything here, characters, plot, and all. My two critiques here were that I felt the background of this future world with Blue Coats and hostile takeovers and such felt too abbreviated. The author kept referencing it, almost as if trying to find ways to remind us of it, but there needed to be a stronger baseline of information, keeping the ties to main plot stronger. I also felt that with all of the insanity going in within the prison walls, there was a lack of emotional depth to the characters. I understand that by reading a book with this title, that it’s not meant to be Shakespeare, but it would have rounded out the characters a bit more. But otherwise, this was an absolute blast and fans of both science fiction and horror will love it.
This is just pure, unadulterated fun. First and foremost, it’s good old-fashioned Grindhouse horror: I’m talking the Women in Prison-sploitation, nuns with machine guns, gratuitous nudity and violence kind of (beautiful) bonkers. Second, it’s Patrick C. Harrison III, so you know it is whipsmart in its pacing and wit and that it swivels around hairpin turns you never dared peek about previously. Mixing BDSM, cyberpunk, dystopian fiction, femsploitation horror, and thriller (and folding in a fistful of holy habit fetishization for extra flavor), Vampire Nuns hits the sweet spot for a splatter lover looking for some cross-genre escapism. Harrison’s work might be my new favorite vacation
I bought this book from the author at Texas Frightmare, very nice gentleman. It's set in a future cyberpunk/dystopian world, specifically in a women's prison. There is gore. There is sex. There are Vampires! I found the writing to be purposefully campy and not deathly serious, which made it a very fun and entertaining read. Recommended to horror fans not offended by naked women covered in blood. I'm definitely reading other books by this author.
This book was definitely bizarre and highly entertaining. There was so much happening that I was often unsure of what was going on, but it made for a thrilling ride. The story features vampire nuns, people who’ve modified themselves with guns, a mad scientist, and plenty of gore – all adding to the chaotic fun.
So wait - there are Vampire Nuns? And they are Behind Bars?
I guess the only review you need is a confirmation that - YES - there ARE Vampire Nuns and they are, at least for a portion of the book "Behind Bars". Go out and read it, champ!
Oh - you wanted more details?
Alright, so this isn't your standard everyday world. No, we're in a post-apocalyptic wasteland of sorts. People have been modifying themselves with technology (usually weapons) to the point where very few people are 100% organic. Wars had strafed the land and the current moment in time is a very tenuous cease fire. Though, we can tell the group in charge is being very heavy handed and that's going to rile up the freedom fighters if it goes too far.
Sorry. Let me focus on what matters. A group of Nuns are being processed into the prison. They are being accused of killing someone and were sentenced within 24 hours of the murder. The evidence? There's nine of em, and the victim was stabbed 9 times. Oh, and the totally trustworthy police found a convenient document stating they totally did it, which is what group killers do.
So, we're pretty much immediately in a Women In Prison scenario. Warden Thorne (yeah, you get it... right?) is ruling with an iron fist and there's an "Angel of Death" style doctor performing horrific experiments on the inmates that the warden is not interested in scissori..erm... befriending.
Who will survive? What will be left of them? Where do vampires come in? Are the nuns all voluptuous, fit, young - but of legal age - virgins?
You'll have to read to find out the rest. Other than the last question. That one's a yes, dear reader, of course they are.
Any complaints? I was mildly annoyed by some typos and - in a weird formatting issue - where about 2/3 of the way through my Kindle version, the font changes color (from white to gray - using dark mode in the app) in mid-sentence - changing back only as of the Epilogue. Strange stuff. Otherwise, you know what you're expecting with this title and you get it.
Recommended to people who want to read about Vampire Nuns Behind Bars.
Honestly, I thought at this stage of things, that is, after finishing my recently downloaded copy of Patrick C. Harrison III's "Vampire Nuns Behind Bars", I'd be unleashing a raging deluge of smarmy, even borderline sarcastic comments about my reading experience. However, a funny thing happened on the way to the convent: this book was really quite good and made for a truly fun reading time. Well-written, insanely but still believably plotted, and not nearly as schlocky as one might expect with a title - and more than apt cover - such as this. No, I wouldn't be handing out copies to the young teens out there interested in dystopian scifi books (the sex being quite sexy and the torture being extremely torturous). But if you don't mind a little bit of erotica (ref. sexy) mixed in with heaps of gore (the blood budget in this is HUGE), well, it's not a bad way to spend your weekend! Reading this, I mean. You crazy, rotten fool. You like pain. You enjoy being beat to hell.
The book takes place apparently in the wastelands of what we know today as Texas after the, quote/unquote, "Collapse". We don't spend a lot of time on the historical details of this adventure in terms of how we (waves hands vaguely) got to this point, but needless to say, things obviously got ugly. So yeah, there's a wasteland full of mutants, folks with tons of biological and/or cybernetic enhancements, two warring sides with diametrically opposed views on how things should be and, naturally who should be running said things. And, yes, somehow, despite it all, there's still the Catholic Church plugging away relatively unmolested. My guess was on the Mormons making it out of doomsday unscathed but hey, we can't have it all, right? You, Mother, despite being a woman of God, you are also a woman of violence.
Along the way we have the perfect setting for the main part of this cult movie worthy production. Naturally I'm talking about a women's prison, resplendently rendered with the requisite evil warden in charge of her perverted guardspersons… and worse. And by worse I of course am referring to a highly modified, cybernetic mad scientist in the basement, who has been granted free reign by the currently winning powers that be to conduct any type of experiment his corroded heart desires. This is being done all in the name of science… and hopefully some really killer weapons that can be unleashed in the wastelands as well. Wouldn't you know it though: his latest targets require only the purest of the pure to try out various formulas on and thus we have nuns having no fun delivered to his doorstep. Or dungeon-step, whatever. How easily godliness leaves the body when the vampiric solution is introduced.
Well, that's not entirely true. Mother Superior - who is in the parlance of the genre one bad Mother indeed - loves kicking ass, taking names (to be put on tombstones apparently), and even ripping out the tongues of those that threaten either her or her young and utterly innocent Sisters. It is the latter set that don't really get much of a chance, as again they become test animals for the mad doctor's experiments - or meat puppets for the warden's sexual needs and/or sadistic pleasures. It's all quite nightmarishly Mad Max-esque in nature, that is, if you can imagine Tina Turner's character having smoked a LOT of crack and the Thunderdome being a lot more claustrophic along the way. Oh and lots and lots and lots of nudity. Yeah, lose all those suits made from old tires. She rarely heard any of them raise their voices, much less . . . rip someone’s heart out.
Now look, this isn't going to be the best literary milestone in your reading career by far. It's like comparing a NETFLIX quickie - for which this would be so awesomely suited, I might add - with some of Martin Scorsesesese's best work (I never know how to stop spelling his name). And I'm sure that once the streaming services got ahold of things, they'd manage to take out all the really cool bits and somehow shoehorn Kevin Hart and/or Jack Black unnecessarily into the cast. But don't let yourselves be distracted! Enjoy the show, don't take it too seriously, and just enjoy the sheer levels of kick buttitude we get to enjoy along the way. We’re vampires now. I keep forgetting.
Me? I'm gonna give this bad boy (or girl of however it identifies) 4 well-deserved stars because I enjoyed the hell of it, being utterly gobsmacked and even a tad bit surprised by how things unfolded along the way! Sure the editing wasn't great (it wasn't bad either but I am if nothing else extremely OCD about these things). And for my followers (kneel before ZOD!) you know I'll never, ever be a fan of short chapters clogging things up. But if you just want to let yourself have a good time and enjoy a book that takes an unapologetically honest look at how things would be after the End of All Things, then this is a good place to start. Me? I'm heading off to check out the 2nd book from PC3 (so hip!) as well! Bite'cha later bitches! In Our Father's name we pray, amen.
"Vampire Nuns Behind Bars" podría describirse como un intento torpe de mezclar géneros que termina siendo un revoltijo confuso más que una novela coherente. Dirigido explícitamente a un público masculino heterosexual de mediana edad con gustos específicos en entretenimiento adulto, este libro se zambulle en una trama que intenta ser erótica, splatterpunk, distópica, terrorífica y de ciencia ficción, sin lograr anclarse satisfactoriamente en ninguno de estos géneros.
El absurdo de la narrativa es tan exagerado que, por momentos, se convierte en una comedia involuntaria, provocando risas más por lo ridículo de las situaciones que por un humor bien ejecutado. Las bromas, que abundan en el texto, son tan básicas y burdas que cualquier intento de seriedad se pierde entre carcajadas incómodas.
La promesa de explorar el terror y lo grotesco queda en nada, utilizada meramente como vehículo para presentar escenas de sadismo y un erotismo lésbico de baja calidad, que no contribuyen en nada a la profundidad o desarrollo del relato.
"Vampire Nuns Behind Bars" es una novela que podría encontrarse en la estantería de una casa de playa o en un baño, destinado a entretener a alguien con mucho tiempo libre, expectativas muy bajas o un tránsito intestinal muy lento en un baño con pésima señal de wifi.
Bibliophilia Templum review https://bibliophiliatemplum.wordpress.com Three important things to keep in mind about this story: 1. The style is Grindhouse Exploitation. 2. The setting is a dystopian cyberpunk (almost bizarro) future. 3. The author is PC3.
Vampire Nuns Behind Bars is, at its heart, a story about systemic corruption, loyalty, and how we face adversity. Of course, it is also about nuns in prison and a mad scientist and vampires … so … You could say it has the multifaceted characteristics of Splatterpunk, and you would not be wrong in doing so.
And I have to say that while this is straight-up Grindhouse Exploitation as promised, the character are impressive. PC3 has written a diversity of female characters and I love it. I also have to love his colorful characterization of the wicked warden and mad scientist.
Vampire Nuns Behind Bars moves with action, violence, dark humor, entertaining dialogue, and all the Grindhouse Exploitation you could ever want.
It’s a fun and twisted read for fun and twisted readers.
*If you aren’t sure what Grindhouse Exploitation is, then follow the rule of Extreme Horror Fans Only, please. Like all Grindhouse, it contains content some may find offensive.
I read this after reading 100% Match, which I loved. I won't say I was disappointed but it didn't even seem like the same author wrote this book. It was a great story idea. I have to wonder how this has not become a movie yet. It would make an excellent grindhouse movie script. I enjoyed this and would recommend this to anyone who loves campy horror books. I think the biggest flaw I saw with the book is that it had an awfully large cast that was hard to keep up with. Combined with the fast pace at which the story was written, it was sometimes confusing. I normally love a fast-paced book but with this many characters, it would've benefited from slowing the pace or cutting some characters. It got easier to follow as more characters died, lol. Overall, I would recommend reading it, and I am going with 3.5 stars, rounded up to 4 stars. I did find a few typos, and the Kindle formatting had a few issues.
This was absolutely wild! I demolised this in one sitting and couldn't put it down! A group of nuns are sent to prison after being accused of murder. Within the prison, a doctor is experimenting on pure women void of any upgrades in an attempt to recreate the vampire! An unlikely ally believes the nuns are innocent and includes them in the escape plan. However, not everything goes as planned! This was a truly bizarre book. If I can describe this book in anyway, it's like a game of snakes and ladders meet twister! I really didn't know what was going on, but in a good way!
This was an interesting concept for a book. There were a few paragraphs that didn't really flow together, like scene changes that didn't make much sense and I had to reread some paragraphs because I got confused!
The ending was confusing and made no sense to me. I'm not even sure what happened with the epilogue. That's why I gave it the rating I did. I felt there should have been more to the book. It just ended very oddly.
Ok. This is definitely my FAVORITE PC3 book! It wasn’t as gorey as his others but the story was REALLY fun! I loved the strong Female characters ( especially Mother superior and Bonnie ) def will be reading this again! Such a good book!
Well, uuummm, the title kinda gives away the seriousness of the novel, if you read it and have an opinion that is negative, you probably are a fool for having picked it up in the first place, that said, fun, funny and appropriately titled.
This was a bonkers book but so much fun. I've never read anything quite like this. There's tons of gore and tons of gratuitous nudity all wrapped up in cyberpunk vampire story.
This was action-packed, fun, and humorous at times. Lots of elements were found in this story: horror, torture, romance, sex, science fiction, human experimentation, and vampires!
Some of the torture scenes were very disturbing, so proceed with caution. Other than that, this was a thrill to read! This book introduced a character called Nora Avery, who was an investigator and fighter and spy (?) and had abilities to travel through portals to possibly other times or worlds. There are a series of books featuring her, I’ve noticed. Sounds like more fun!
I got this book at Texas Frightmare last year and the author signed it for me. I feel like I just ready his sadistic wet dream… but it was a lot of fun!