Horrible. Nothing really happens in this book. I was drawn in by the promises of “lush” writing, and I wish I’d found some, because richly descriptive writing can sometimes make up for some flaws in a book. But it was pretty simplistic, in my opinion, and features far too much pointless dialogue. I felt like I was reading a litany of “Maud went here. She did this. Ella said a thing. The hedge was green. Here’s a random and basic observation that is supposed to sound profound.”
And I honestly just found the whole thing to be a bit silly. So, Maud’s husband has multiple affairs for years. They separate, but don’t tell their children for Reasons. Maud begins a new romance with someone else, her co-worker Gabriel. The other people working the garden restoration project find out and get pissy. Then the soon-to-be-ex finds out and gets pissy. The snotty eldest daughter, Ella, finds out and gets pissy.
Ella stages a disappearance so she can imply that the boyfriend molested her. She lies about how often she used his wifi - not even kidding here, this was the whole basis of the accusations - and this breaks up Maud and her new guy.
Maud goes back to her husband or whatever he is, and the daughter spends the next two years cutting herself and fixating on that one time that she watched the entire sex session her mother had with the boyfriend, because that’s naturally what you hang around to do when you come across your mother getting it on.
Then the daughter, much later on, spills what she saw and blames it for everything she’s feeling. Maud gets a divorce, and her ex husband never has to reveal his own eight thousand different affairs to the kids. His image with the kids is preserved so that Maud can be the sole bad guy just for the crime of seeing someone new while separated from her husband, which everyone in the book punishes her for over and over for several years. Maud eventually tracks down Gabriel and he tells her that he never came on to her daughter, and her daughter is like, Oh yeah, I did lie about that, sorry, but all of this is still your fault. But don’t worry, because Maud is thankful that Ella “got her out of” the marriage. Yeah.
To recap this, for emphasis: “I love you so much! I’ve never loved anyone before because I’m a cad, but you’re different and it changed me, Maud!” “I love you too, let’s fuck in the woods!” “Hey, like, I used his wifi a lot.” “You pedo! We are OVER!” “OMG Maud slept with one person one time while separated from her spouse, what a whore.” “Right?! That’s why I slice open my thigh every day.” That’s this book.
I know I said that not a lot happens in this book and maybe this sounds like a lot - really, it is not. It takes a long time to learn what actually happened the night that Ella fake-ran away, and a long time for Maud to reconnect with the boyfriend to find closure of some sort. These reveals aren’t built up in a progressively anticipatory way - it’s just pages and pages of uninteresting stuff and Ella cutting her thigh a bunch (also many, many scenes of Maud looking for Ella’s vomit in toilets and describing it, can’t forget that one). I can’t even talk about the paper thin Alice side plot because it was thoroughly uninteresting and added nothing to the rest of the story.
So, “Hedge” will be dumped into a box and shipped back to Amazon along with all the rest of the duds I bought in the great Books that Were a Bust 2023 debacle. May this review save you and your wallet from a similar fate!