Rabbi Rami Guide to Forgiveness: Roadside Assistance for the Spiritual Traveler

by Rami M. Shapiro

Most books on ethics and morality view forgiveness as a way to escape suffering, as if anger or hatred
were something to brush off with the breezy words “I forgive you.” Rabbi Rami sees forgiveness differently because he understands the trickster nature of the self. In his Guide to Forgiveness, he’ll help you to stop identifying with the slights and grudges borne against you so that forgiveness can begin to happen naturally.

Genres: Spirituality, Nonfiction

120 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 2011

About the author

Rami Shapiro is one of the most innovative rabbis of the last thirty years. An award-winning author of two dozen books on religion and spirituality, he received rabbinical ordination from the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion and holds a PhD from Union Graduate School. A congregational rabbi for twenty years, for the last fifteen he has been writing, leading retreats, co-directing One River Wisdom School, blogging at rabbirami.com, and writing a regular column for Spirituality and Health magazine called "Roadside Assistance for the Spiritual Traveler."

Reviews

[Bryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A unique, and I think, useful way to approach forgiveness. Combines a Jewish/Christian/Buddhist approach to forgiveness, seeing it more as a way of living one's life than an action that is performed. Forgiveness is a natural outgrowth of properly viewing life.

[Wendy Lamb · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not what I expected. Not the traditional way of thinking about "forgiveness". Author speaks of "forgiveness" as an attitude and not so much or as act of forgiving. While there were many points in the book I made note of it wasn't what I was looking for and it kinda lost me at some points throughout.

[Charles Covarrubias · Rating 4 out of 5]

Forgiveness

I think I understand what the Rabbi is trying to explain. It seemed a little convoluted near the end I have to try to work this one out. Very esoteric and needs to be read with care and read slowly. He is quite a guy!

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a lovely little book.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was awesome!!! I love Rabbi Rami's unique view on forgiveness as not something that we are actually able to do (which for me helps explain why it has always been something that often times has felt impossible for me to do)...but as an attitude and a perspective that we are able to cultivate as we come to realize that "forgiveness is not a one-time act, but an ongoing attitude rooted in the realization that conflict is as natural to living as breathing."

I can see now, that if I maintain the stance that I am a victim of the situation that forgiveness will always remain an impossible ideal to reach. My husband has always been able to forgive others and I see now that it is because he simply comes at it from a different perspective. He doesn't view people as trying to intentionally hurt him and so forgiveness is a very natural act for him because literally there is almost never anything to forgive. I however, take things very personal because of the perspective that people are trying to hurt me intentionally, I believe things like "they don't like me, they think I'm stupid, I don't deserve to have this or that, I am unlucky etc" and so my perspective keeps me unable to forgive. "Forgiveness is not caused by compassion; forgiveness is lived compassion" and how do we live it?...by understanding we are not being personally picked on.

I absolutely love the idea that all I need to do is view things from a different (less victim oriented) perspective!

I practically highlighted the entire book, but here are a few of my favorite quotes:

"When someone hurts us we tend to think they could have done otherwise. In fact if we don't assume this, we wouldn't have the moral high ground from which to be hurt and bestow forgiveness. But is this really true? Can people do other than they do?"

"Forgiveness happens when we realize that people are not out to get us, but out to take care of themselves."

At the end of the book Rabbi Rami offers 3 questions to help guide you towards forgiveness. I won't write them here because the book offers a much better explanation of them than I could ever hope to portray. So you'll just have to read it :)

You can also listen to Rabbi Rami on a free podcast hosted by Sounds True...I actually listened to the podcast first and that is how I found out he had this book. I would highly highly HIGHLY recommend it!

https://www.soundstrue.com/store/week...

[Roben · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful - new thoughts with which to traverse traps.
"Be whole as God is whole; embrace the light and the dark, as God is the source of light and dark; welcome the good and the bad, as God is the creator of both. Live life with that sense of peace that arises when you no longer race after likes and away from dislikes.
Rabbi, you have set me on the path of freedom.

[Katie Rea · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful book! Poignant and humorous with many life lessons to take into account. He doesn’t believe that wisdom is simply a skill or that forgiveness keeps us from suffering. He states that forgiveness is simply a fact of life. It is something we must do to get ourselves out of our own internal turmoil.

We are all doing what we can to live and survive in a suffering world. The author reminds us how humility and kindness should be our ultimate goals.

[Sally · Rating 3 out of 5]

An unusual approach to the subject, one that I didn't find particularly useful. The book is more about the true Self and freedom, and he has some valuable things to say on those subjects. My difficulty with his approach is that I don't view most human action (those things that need to be forgiven) as chaotic or outside conscious control, which is the basis he presents for forgiveness.

[Bill Pitcher · Rating 3 out of 5]

interesting twist on forgiveness

[Vern · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very enlightening.