Testimony: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Failed a Generation

by Jon Ward

"Ward is consistently clear-sighted and perceptive as he charts a genuinely fascinating personal and spiritual evolution."-- Publishers Weekly

Jon Ward's life is divided in two decades inside the evangelical Christian bubble and two decades outside of it.

In Testimony , Ward tells the engaging story of his upbringing in, and eventual break from, an influential evangelical church in the 1980s and 1990s. Ward sheds light on the evangelical movement's troubling political and cultural dimensions, tracing the ways in which the Jesus People movement was seduced by materialism and other factors to become politically captive rather than prophetic.

A respected journalist, Ward asks uncomfortable but necessary questions, calling those inside and outside conservative Christian circles to embrace truth, complexity, and nuance. He recounts his growing alarm and grief over the last several years as evangelical conservatives attacked truth, rejected personal character, and embraced authoritarianism and conspiracism. He shares his search for a faith that embodies the values he was taught as a child.

Ward's experience and reflections will resonate with many readers who grew up in the evangelical movement as well as all those who have an interest in the health of the church and its impact on American life.

Genres: Nonfiction, Religion, Memoir, Politics, Audiobook, Christian, History

251 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 18, 2023

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's strange to read about Ward's upbringing, which mirrors my own to an eerie degree.

"I had been raised as deeply inside American evangelicalism as you could get, and had embraced the Christian faith all the way to the core of my being. I had been loved by sainted parents, who had devoted their lives to God, and showed me how to walk the straight and narrow. The Kingdom of God wasn't just words to me... but what I was seeing from the American church in 2016 was at odds with what I had been taught."

Me too!

Our similarities don't end with this quote. Feel free to skip this part if you weren't raised like I was... but Ward mentions almost every single leader and/or movement my family and I have been "in deep" with over the years:

Larry Tomczak was part of the Jesus Movement, then a leader in Ward's childhood church, and in his later ministry years, he was a teacher at my bible college (called BRSM, then FIRE, after a split).

Operation Rescue and Crisis Pregnancy Center spurred the abortion protests that got Ward's dad arrested. Mine too! Dad was so proud to be thrown into a paddy wagon for the cause.

Ron Luce ran an organization called Teen Mania, which hosted pyrotechnic-infused events called Aquire the Fire, which played a big role in getting Ward (as a teen) to go on mission trips to foreign countries, to preach to people. Me, too!

Ward talks a great deal about Lou Engle, who led an all day prayer and fasting event named The Call, which I attended, along with 13 buses full of my college peers, in Washington D.C. He then led the 40 day fasting and prayer event I participated in with my parents (pastors) and their church (congregants) in San Francisco.

Ward discusses Ché Ahn, who was like a hero to us in California, and who grew increasingly politically radicalized during the Trump era.

He talks about watching the movie A Thief in The Night at youth group meetings, all about the rapture and how you better get in line or you'll get "left behind" and tortured by one-world antichrist soldiers. Me, too!

And... about being fascinated as a kid when he read This Present Darkness, which taught that demons and angels were literally warring over human souls, and that if humans meditated, they'd be possessed by devils and begin working toward the one-world antichrist agenda. Me, too!

He discusses the Brownsville Revival, which is where I got "re-saved" after a brief "Rumspringa"and later went to bible college until it split... then I went to FIRE school with Dr. Brown.

He also talks about the Toronto Blessing, which my fam was big into, and he talks about Bethel Church in Redding, CA, which most of my family is STILL big into.

And of course, Ward talks about all the Trump craziness, and he shares similar experiences to mine in trying to speak about how gross and dangerous Trump is with evangelical family members ready to defend him to the death.

I just had to write all these connections out because it's so crazy to see my own progress from die-hard believer in whatever was being preached from the pulpit, to critical thinker who just couldn't swallow it all anymore.

It seems Ward may be a bit more conservative than I am at this point, and I'm a bit uncomfortable with his repeated praise of John Piper, who was one of the biggest reasons all the boys I dated in church thought they had a right to be the boss of me, and one of the biggest reasons I had to spend sooooooooooooo much energy disabusing them of this notion AND fighting to have any real voice whatsoever within the church. Piper is screwy in the head when it comes to women. And while Ward mentions this ONCE, he doesn't do enough to dismantle Piper's views with every mention of the name, instead highlighting mostly the things he likes about him. Perhaps this is because Piper's woman-subjugating views don't affect him (a man) as deeply as they affect me (a woman). Whatever the case... Piper caused me a lot of grief, and I am not a fan of him. At all.

Other than these two peeves, Ward's book reads like a walk through my own dang history in the church. Very strange feeling, indeed.

Book/Song Pairing: I've No More F***s To Give! (Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq)

[Readnponder · Rating 4 out of 5]

Here we are, three months into 2023, and I’ve already read three thoughtful memoirs by current or former evangelicals. Beth Moore’s “All My Knotted-Up Life” examines, in part, the church’s response to sexual abuse and Donald Trump. “Orphaned Believers,” by Sara Billups, addresses young evangelicals who are disillusioned with the way culture wars and politics have divided the church. The latest offering is “Testimony: Inside the Evangelical Movement that Failed a Generation” by journalist Jon Ward.

Ward grew up the son of a pastor, who was on staff at CJ Mahaney’s church in Maryland. He was raised in the Christian school/church bubble, where kids are taught to do as they’re told, think as they’re told, and not question authority. However as an aspiring journalist, he wanted to ascertain the truth of the matter and follow the evidence. This career path inevitably led to questioning and soul-searching.

The author began his journalism career with the Washington Times, a conservative daily, followed by two years with Tucker Carlson (on “The Daily Caller” website). Now, he works for Yahoo News. In the course of his reporting over a span of years, Ward observed how the evangelical church lacked discernment and was eventually co-opted by the Republican party, esp. Trump. He details how the evangelical world dealt with sexual abuse, racism, poverty, the pandemic, and abortion … with the unborn being the only vulnerable population that garnered any real action. The plight of others being attributed to their own choices.

Ward identifies as a mearcstapa or border-stalker, citing Makoto Fujimura’s book, “Culture Care” (a title which has just moved up on my TBR). Border-stalkers live on the edge of a group, yet are in a unique position to transmit ideas and teach empathy amongst various tribes, essentially serving as good Samaritans to a divided culture.

Of the three memoirs, this one was 45% footnotes (almost 250 of them). Jon Ward is serious when he says he cares about the truth. He supports his assertions by identifying source material. He cites not just chapter and verse, but news articles and books. He cares deeply about Christianity and the church in America, while calling it to return to the basic teachings of its founder.

[Liralen · Rating 3 out of 5]

The tumult of the last few years has forced me to reassess what I really believe (a process I've gone through a few times in my life now). I've had to pull myself away from the easy anger of opposition and redouble the search to know what I stand for, not just what I'm against. And of course, beyond the what is the why, a set of questions that require even more work to answer. (loc. 148*)

Growing up in Evangelical Christianity, Ward was taught that the answers were all there—if only you listened to the people who had them. Give yourself over to God and you will be blessed, I suppose. Only later did he start to dig into the teachings he'd grown up with and to ask himself whether the American Evangelical Christianity he knew was aligned with what Jesus said and did in the Bible, and with the gospel teachings he aimed to stay true to.

I'll say this up front (or as up front as paragraph 3 can be): it's a rhetoric that I'm familiar with because I read too much and am curious about church cultures like the one Ward grew up in, but it's not one that I have personal experience with. I read religious memoirs, and more broadly books about religion, because they interest me, but I am well aware that I (born and bred liberal, not raised with Christianity) am rarely the target audience. Here, the target audience is almost certainly someone closer in background to Ward—a white man who grew up in a certain brand of conservative religion but has since questioned it, or started to question it. So if that sounds like you, this will probably make for a bang-up read, especially if you're interested in the way religion and politics have dovetailed in the US in recent (and not so recent) years.

Ward has clearly put years of work into unpicking what he grew up blindly believing, and even if I don't share his beliefs I can comfortably get on board with what he believes about his beliefs, if that makes sense. Take this summary of the idea of faith: If we say we know something to be true 100 percent with no doubts, then we don't need faith. It's only when we realize we could be wrong, and we can't know for sure, that we must rely on belief. Easier said than done (loc. 2917). In a time when so much gets polarized, or stripped down to its simplest form (not in the sense of "truest form" but rather in the sense of "child's finger painting vs. finely detailed portrait"), Ward is looking for what is complicated and complete.

There is a lot about recent politics here, far more than I expected. Ward is a journalist with extensive experience covering national American politics, and he ties the rise of Evangelicalism neatly with the rise of (sigh) the things that led to the absolute train wreck of political nightmare that was the 2016 presidential election and presidency that followed—and the political nightmare of a power-grab that, under the guise of religion, continues. It's not entirely what I want to be reading (it's not new material if you read too much news from respectable outlets, and I try to limit my political reading to said news because just that raises my blood pressure as it is), but it's concisely and precisely done and would be useful for those who have closer ties to Evangelical circles.

Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.

*I read an ARC, and quotes may not be final.

[Gina Dalfonzo · Rating 4 out of 5]

In some ways, Jon Ward's story is my story. Like him, in recent years I've had to reassess a lot of things I believed about the evangelical movement and its convictions, as I watched too many people I'd looked up to trade integrity for power. Like him, I've battled disillusionment and experienced profound grief over it all.

In a way, though, Ward has had it much worse, as he grew up in C. J. Mahaney's church: training ground for Josh Harris of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" fame, and ground zero of an explosive sex abuse scandal. Ward soft-pedals that subject a little, but there's no doubt that what happened there was catastrophic for him (even though he personally wasn't a victim of abuse) as well as for others. He eventually realizes, "C. J.'s empire had been a canary in a coal mine, an early indicator of a male-dominated culture that suppressed the suffering of victims and denied accountability for abusers."

Ward handles these painful topics with honesty, sensitivity, and nuance. He still appreciates the gifts his upbringing gave him, even as he laments that "the seeds of harm were planted with good intentions." He expresses his abiding love for family and friends even as feels ongoing pain and frustration over everything that divides them now. His faith has matured and deepened in the face of everything that might have destroyed it.

In short, there's a great deal to admire and appreciate here, and a lot to learn. Ward connects dots for me about the evangelical mindset (particularly about New Calvinism) and about evangelical entanglement with politics that I had not quite connected on my own before, and thus helped me understand my own experience better. He's especially good on the subject of how evangelicalism trained us to focus relentlessly on ourselves while shutting out others (she said sheepishly, having just made things all about herself earlier in this very paragraph!). "So many religious people ... are trained to chase their tails for years -- talking and thinking about faith and writing Scripture verses and ethereal thoughts -- all the while avoiding reality and failing to be of much use in the world."

I would have liked to see Ward come down a bit harder on John Piper's views on gender and abuse, but as he admits, it's hard to disentangle himself from some of Piper's other views that guided him at a critical moment. And this book is about nothing if not the difficulty of getting disentangled from the powerful and often damaging forces that have shaped us. (He does give a grateful mention to Chuck Colson's program that helped him learn to think critically, and as someone who knew, liked, and worked for Colson after his conversion to Christianity, I appreciated that. At least not all evangelical thought leaders were phonies.)

One of the great strengths of Ward's book is that he holds forth a positive vision for how things could be for Christians and for those whose lives we affect, rather than just mourning the way things have been for too long. That alone would make the book worth reading, even if there weren't so much else to recommend it. One last quote to sum up: "To struggle toward truth, to refuse easy answers, and to remain in a place where uncertainty and complexity present ongoing challenges -- that seems closer to what Jesus would want."

(A note to readers of the e-book -- don't be intimidated by the apparent length. Something like half of it is endnotes!)

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.

[Kate Laack · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are three kinds of people who will read this book:

1. Those who have been hurt by the church, indifferent to the church, opposed to the church, and/or skeptical of a church who claims a divine moral high ground while acting against its own stated moral principles.

2. Those who have wholly embraced the evangelical movement and support its expanding role in politics and its hardline stances in favor of conservative and traditional values.

3. Those who are in between, not fully comfortable with the modern propensity for Christians to be treated as a voting block instead of a community of believers, not fully comfortable with the hypocrisy of supporting political candidates who demonstrate egregious moral failings swept aside in the interest of furthering a “Christian” political agenda, unable to look past repeated abuses of power and failure in leadership, and yet also not willing to give up on church and faith all together.

This book will not change the minds of groups 1 and 2, but will resonate deeply with group 3 - the “Border Dwellers” as Jon Ward terms himself.

Testimony is a fitting title as this book is just that, Jon Ward’s personal journey from childhood in a fundamentalist, conservative, Evangelical church, to his years a journalist, straddling the line between faith and culture, and watching as the traditions in which he was raised and the people to whom he looked up become increasingly radicalized in their doctrine, politics, and leadership.

The final third of the book wrestles with the Trump presidency and Covid years, which will undoubtedly turn some people off. He speaks of his own family during this time and his experiences as a journalist covering conservative politics. He paints a less than flattering picture of the “evangelical voting block” that will likely make some readers defensive and make others put the book down all together.

And there, Ward contends, exists the problem. To blindly follow….to give up intellectual pursuit…to embrace hypocrisy as a means of achieving a broader, “noble” pursuit…and to refuse to question or discuss whether it’s all gone a step too far…are not the pillars on which faith should be built. Nor are they pillars that we should expect the next generation of Christians to blindly embrace.

I would highly recommend the audiobook narrated by Jon Ward. You can hear his struggle, his questions, his frustration, and yet his genuine desire to figure it all out. And, if you’re like me, you’ll hear the voice of a kindred spirit, a border dweller, using faith the best he can to navigate the complications of the modern world and the complications of the modern church.

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 // Aptly titled, this is Ward’s personal testimony of growing up inside CJ Mahaney’s church and of navigating an isolating niche faith culture. Ward’s early experiences echoed my own childhood and offered concrete shape and words to a history that I still at times struggle to convey to those who were outside it.

Ward’s integrity, faith, and conviction in the public square of journalism - even after surviving as intense a childhood formation as my own - gives me hope and makes me feel less alone. I’ve found in Ward the voice of a discerning, wise friend. I am grateful.

[Brandi Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was really insightful! Written by a journalist who’s been in the game for decades, Testimony is part-memoir, part-analysis, part-exposé. Jon Ward tells his story of growing up as a conservative evangelical Christian and takes us on his journey of wrestling with his upbringing for all of the ways it failed to prepare him to think critically and exercise discernment in this complex world. He goes on to connect this to the radical right and the politicization of Christianity by evangelical conservatives.

It gets really political, especially regarding the Trump administration and his stance is clear. But he goes there to make the case that the anti-intellectual, ahistorical stance that some conservative evangelicals have taken has done a disservice to believers. The lack of discipleship, training in discernment, and rootedness in a deeply historical faith has resulted in hundreds of thousands of people conflating nationalism with Christianity—and it’s had disastrous consequences! In the end, he calls us to examine what a truly Christian witness would look like in the US.

While this kind of book isn’t one that I’d normally gravitate toward, it was eye-opening and I’m grateful to have read it!

[Gina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I stumbled on an interview Jon Ward gave a few months before the publication of this book. He's a journalist who frequently writes about religious and political issues, and he gave a great interview about how his faith and practice had changed from growing up in a non-denom evangelical church that has now seen its share of scandal to where his faith and practice are today. Great plug for his book. I don't think this is a bad book as much as an uneven one. There are points he makes through minute detail and then other points which seem significant that get a bare gloss over. The one point that will stick with me for a while and has already led to additional research is the theory on how the shift in religious practice to emotional from intellectual practice has damaged the church (maybe 2 pages out of the entire book). I may have liked it better if I hadn't already read 2 other books this year that did it better: Jesus and John Wayne by Kristin Kobes Du Mez, which covers the long historical shifts in protestant religions as related to politics and celebrity, and All My Knotted Up Life by Beth Moore, which deals with the more personal side of the problematic, scandalous shifts in evangelical churches.

[Claire Patton · Rating 1 out of 5]

I thought this book would be an actual history of the last forty years of evangelical history, but it’s more about Ward’s life and lacks any in depth analysis or research. For instance, Ward is still a Christian, but does not discuss the ex-vangelical movement, which is a huge deal and something any serious writer about this topic needs to engage with. Moreover, Ward spends most of his time bashing political opponents and calling them stupid, all while saying he has the keys to “what Christianity actually looks like” because of his journalism career. He also lambasts family members for sowing dissension in his family, but fails to see how his own actions (such as stealing politics signs out of his parent’s yard) precipitated the family division he discusses.
All to say, I was very dissatisfied with this book, both on a research level as well as a political level.

[Anita Yoder · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sobering story that brought up more questions about church leaders who skirt accountability.
The tone of the book seems respectful and honest even in the unsavory parts. As a journalist, he seems able to connect dots in political history and come to reasonable conclusions.

[Michael King · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bit of a long review on this one: Reading this book was equal part catharsis and equal part angst. As many of you know I have been increasingly moving away from Evangelical theology and thinking and towards an understanding of faith that is both more traditional and more open as found in the best of the mainline traditions. This book and Ward's personal experiences map frustratingly closely onto my own with some major differences: he was raised in pentacostal leaning churches and I was raised in a very conservative evangelical Presbyterian denomination, his family flocked to Trump and were enthusiastically on board, and mine were just as disturbed as I was by the seemingly endless moral relativism of the christian friends that we love and respect in our evangelical settings. He is also a generation older than I am.

Despite these differences many of the experiences he described were vary relatable to me and his sense of confusion and frustration with people he loves resonated with me deeply. While there are much healthier expressions of evangelicalism elsewhere in the world, such as in the UK, it is increasingly clear that evangelicalism's theological and political culture are deeply interconnected and that American evangelicalism is a major exporter of it's most toxic features, see the events in Brazil earlier this year and the anti-lgbt laws passed in Ghana and Uganda as clear examples. While evangelical theology often claims inerrancy and a high view of the scriptures this often translates into lives that are so far removed in terms of humility and compassion from the example of Christ that I have to wonder if these words have any real meaning.

I know I am generalizing too broadly. There are many wise and winsome people in evangelical circles doing good and compassionate work, I still have deep respect for Tim Keller, Russell Moore and Beth Moore but these figures are no longer at the heart of shaping evangelical belief and culture. They have lost the fight for influence and are increasingly marginalized and I think fail in some regards to see how their own theology is linked to the attitudes they oppose.

When it comes to politics and compassion it often seems like evangelicalism is post-Christ in it's moral witness. This grieves me deeply. The mainline is plagued with many of its own demons but I find in most of these churches a greater focus on the fundamentals of Christ's teachings of compassion, humility and care for the downtrodden and a greater consciousness of how their churches stand in the stream of great and ancient traditions.

Well this isn't so much a book review as a letting of the soul but anyhow, I would definitely recommend Ward's book if you are looking for a mostly charitable personal history of a conflicted ex- evangelical who still loves Christ and the church deeply.

[Rebeka Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

[All the gratitude to Brazos Press for gifting an advanced copy, with no obligation to review. All thoughts are my own and offered freely.]

This book follows the author's life of growing up within the evangelical world, witnessing the rise of several charismatic leaders and the effects of their ministries, and observing evangelicalism's descent into political power grabs, conspiracy, and violence.

At least twice a chapter, I was audibly saying, "Yes, exactly!" This book describes so many destinctions of evangelicalism that I was also raised in - the insular nature of conservative Christianity vs. "the secular world", using spirituality as escapism from reality, the "seven mountains" dominionism, and more. Ward's journalism background also provided exacting insight into the rise of Trumpism and how the evangelical world came to be under its spell.

While he offers precise criticism of many elements of sensationalized Christianity, Ward holds hope for Christians seeking a better way. "But the faith I was taught beckoned to something I still want: a fullness of life. . . . My faith has been sparked by seeing that the real Jesus beckons me to follow him into a life of vulnerability that threatens the false gods of comfort and ease. Like many others, I’m trying to figure out how to walk that path. It’s daunting and scary, and most days I feel like I’m not doing a very good job. But it does at least have the ring of truth."

10/10. I finished this in a day. An engaging, fast-paced blend of personal, spiritual memoir and informative critique. If you were raised within the evangelical world and have also felt dismayed at its current state, this book will feel like a companion to the questions, angst, hurt, and perseverance that so many of us have experienced as we journey towards the Divine together.

[Hannah Adams · Rating 2 out of 5]

Jon seems like he would be a great guy to chat with, and I admire his truth-seeking spirit. I’m just sorry to say this book felt off to me. It had all the right ingredients, but somehow didn’t meld in my opinion.

At times it was more angsty memoir, or religious tell-all, but then political diatribe—and everything in between. In time, he probably could have written powerful books about all these topics separately, as with a little more clarity, stability, and grace.

I’ve said this before about other books: I think this could have been better if penned 10-15 years down the road.

With all that said, I am still interested in reading more of his work. He’s a good writer; this one just didn’t land with me.

[Franki · Rating 4 out of 5]

Testimony is a memoir following Jon Ward's upbringing in a reformed charismatic context, his career in political journalism, his wrestling with his upbringing, and the ways all of that impacted his relationships with his family. Though primarily personal, his story also explores evangelical engagement in politics particularly surrounding the Trump years.

At the beginning of the book, Ward explores the idea of a "boarder stalker", an idea from Makoto Fujimura's book Culture Care. Through his writing style, he models this framework so well. He shares his story, but does not assume the reader understands christian lingo. He often defines or describes words and experiences in ways that bring the reader in without being pejorative. I think this allows an outsider to put on Ward's coat for a bit and walk around in it. He inhabits what it feels like to be shaped in an evangelical setting but to find oneself in a world where there is much common goodness and generosity to be had. It is difficult to navigate thoughts, doubt, anger, and confusion that come with recognizing what you were taught implicitly and explicitly are not only not true of the world but also not found in the Bible. Ward embodies learning new ways of relating to and learning from people who are different than him.

I've heard Jon Ward speak about this book on a few podcasts recently and before mentioning his church, I knew it had to be a S.G. setting and I knew I wanted to read this book. My story is a bit the inverse of Ward's (I did not grow up in a church, but spent 15 years in a S.G. church with a similar playbook) but his story helped me to understand my own a little more. I'm not sure I'd recommend this book for everyone but I do think that those who identify as "deconstructing" or "questioning" the things they were taught will find a humble travel companion in Ward's story.

In many ways it's a living example of the dutiful older brother in the parable of the prodigal son - a heart shaped toward duty, wresting with desires and gifting and personality, and a settling into the Father's presence and the Christian Faith.

Thank you to NetGalley and Brazos Press for the ARC - I really enjoyed reading it!

[Faithful Intellect · Rating 3 out of 5]

Book Review Rating: 7/10

This Book Is:
- A personal story that provides an interesting perspective from someone who experienced much of the worst of evangelicalism firsthand.
- Brings together a lot of different strands of evangelicalism and adds credibility to the common problems and disappointments many of us have experienced with evangelicalism.

This Book Is Not:
- An objective analysis of factors leading to changes in evangelicalism.
- Going to resonate with everyone’s evangelical experience.
- From the perspective of someone fully in evangelicalism or fully outside evangelicalism, but from someone who bridges both.

My Takeaways:
- One of the largest problems with evangelicalism and its close tie to Republican politics is the threat posed by denying objective truth. Lies, fake news, and oversimplification prevents authentic engagement and debate. It has become nearly impossible to engage in thoughtful disagreement. Objective truth is core to the claims of theism and Christianity.

My Critiques:
- There are many aspects of Testimony by Jon Ward that people will be able to relate to, but his story does not represent all of evangelicalism. He does not claim to speak for others, so this isn't truly a critique. There are likely some aspects of Ward's story where you may disagree with his position or his responses.

Click here to read the full review at Faithful Intellect.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Testimony, Inside the Evangelical Movement That Failed a Generation by Jon Ward was a movingly honest and sometimes heartbreaking account of the authors life.
I felt all of it deeply and experienced many of the same experiences in the Christian church. I loved Keith Green until I read his biography and suffered extreme addictions to emotionalism. There was no room for critical thinking. And don’t get me started on Trump. Gahhhhh.
So having said all that I read it and was relieved. I wasn’t alone. This isn’t for the weary of heart but it was a good story, his story and I see you Jon. May you heal and come to know God even more deeply than before making lots of room for critical thought.
Thanks Brazos Press via NetGalley.

[Beauregard Bottomley · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author says that Trump destroys truth and wants to destroy democracy. For the author the pivotal point came when Sarah Palin gave her acceptance speech and showed the inanity inherent within the cesspool of ignorance by stoking fear and innuendos that made up the heart of the Republican party which didn’t include McCain and the Republicans rallied more around Palin than McCain. Republicans believed what they write in the comment sections and Sarah Palin said it out loud. There was a woman who stood up to McCain and stated “Obama is an Arab, he can’t be trusted,” the lies became real for the Republicans and the genie had been let out of the bottle.

Trump would soon start the racist belief that Obama wasn’t born in America and wasn’t a real American like he was. White Evangelical Christians ate it up at an 85% rate, this author did not and he started to wake up to the danger while all those around him did not. The insular world he lived in re-enforced the absurdities around him such that it took courage to call the hate for what it was.

The single best predictor of a potential Trump voter is whether they are a white evangelical. The author is but realized that his principles did not align with crazy.

Trump has recently said “immigrants are poisoning our blood,” it takes a lot of hate to support that belief inherent within those kind of Hitler ramblings. Trump called it ‘fake news,’ Hitler just called it ‘jew press.’ Both understand the importance of undermining truth and defining truth for what they say it is to destroy democracy.

The identity such that they are real by default and everyone else who doesn’t share that given identity makes everyone else part of the other is the special sauce that Trump taps into. Trump never lies since he believes they must be true because he is the ultimate post-modernist and is the central overriding authority and arbitrator on what is truth and his accolades will willingly follow him over the cliff of separate-realities.

They believe what they write in the comment sections of the WSJ. Vaccines don’t work! What do you say to people who think that? The same thing you say to election deniers, Qanon nuts, climate deniers: absolutely nothing. It’s for them to crawl their way out of the muck they have created for themselves. Read “Scientific American,” show me their articles which say climate change is not real, or vaccines are bunk. They don’t, and they won’t, because science matters but not for those who live in separate-realities, and outsource their worldview to a delusional person.

The author mocked Eric Metaxas for his bizarre Christian defense of Trump. I’ve read two of his books and his latest was heavily promoted by main stream sources such as the WSJ. I thought ‘oh, great,’ I’m going to get to read a great intellectual defense for Christianity. I was sadly mistaken. His argumentation style would only work on those who think Trump is right on almost everything, and Metaxas is not worthy of reading, and the author is picking on low hanging fruit but fruit that represents the Christians’ best defense for Trump meaning nothing meaningful.

The author does describe as politely as possible his early years of faith and how it was a cult and that those around him could not see how Trump was antithetical to what he thought his faith beliefs said. After all, ‘immigrants poison the blood of the country’ doesn’t strike me as what Jesus was getting at, but for those who did not move forward like the author, they currently have no issue with somebody who speaks like Trump.

[Ruth Chatlien · Rating 5 out of 5]

Testimony is the eyewitness account of Jon Ward, who grew up in the inner circles of evangelical Christianity and was a first-hand witness of how it has evolved over the last several decades into a subculture that eschews knowledge, twists the Bible to its own ends, pursues power in order to force the country to conform to its narrow version of God’s will, and even embraced a lying, corrupt demagogue because they believed it would further their agenda.

Ward is a journalist by profession, and he uses his skills to try to make sense of what happened—partially in an effort to figure out what to retain of his faith and how to live it out and partially to try to help stop our country from letting democracy be destroyed.

It is a very well-done piece of work.

[Andrew Willis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this to be a breezy interesting read that both resonated and irritated me. It's a wide-ranging tell-all account of this reporter's life growing up in the church--with his own political and religious opinions aplenty. I'm probably the target audience--grew up in the church and was disillusioned by Evangelical love affair with Trump--and don't think anyone outside of those two circles will like it. It doesn't attempt to persuade and I felt he unfairly characterized the church at times. Still, a beneficial read that really kept my attention via audiobook. 

[Alex · Rating 3 out of 5]

As someone who grew up in a Southern Baptist Church, later becoming nondenominational without a clue as to what it meant, I was susceptible to many of the same new-Calvinist and far-right influences Ward writes about. Brilliantly exposed through both autobiography and reflection on our socioreligious environments, one can’t help but to read one more chapter even though you said that an hour ago. And while surely captivating, I have a lot of complements, complaints, and critiques left to give.

As someone raised in a similar environment, I found myself constantly relating and remembering moments from my upbringing. While I did not have many moments of regret and maintain a positive relationship with those responsible for my religious youth, I can’t help but relate to the far-right politically-disguised conferences and Christian music festivals. I almost went down that same pipeline that’s so dangerous. I was the young, pro-life, anti-LGBTQ, Republican that I was cultivated to be. So when I read this book, of course I wasn’t going to put it down. It is written with elegance, full of detail, and will not let you go even when you are not actively reading it. And, it shows you how deconstruction is NOT something to fear.

But I also have a few unanswered questions and critiques. I wasn’t expecting such an autobiographical account. I was expecting some biographical elements that allowed to author to reflect on the socioreligious environment at large, but there was much less of that than anticipated. I guess that means I really missed the title (lol). But then again, maybe I was so caught up in the relatable content of it all that I missed some of the more compelling aspects that these other reviews mention. Now that I have had time to think on it, having finished the book last night, maybe there was a lot that I did miss. But I also think that part of my uneasiness with it was the random jumping between that biographical aspect and the commentary of American society/identity at large. One moment we are hearing a story about the author’s youth and the main characters involved, the next we are talking about anti-abortion movements, then out of nowhere we are moving on to another topic like Christian rock. Again, maybe it was that I was caught up in it all. But I also think the writing was sporadic, though certainly better as it moved toward the 2016 campaign season.

Another critique I have, though I admit maybe weaker, is I felt the author’a hesitancy. While he certainly was critical of some of the characters and movements, it was far from the condemnation many of it deserves. While I sympathize and agree in the sensibility of respecting and working with others on compromise and whatnot, some of the actions taken by others in the book are inexcusable. It just feels like the author dismisses these with a “yes, I acknowledge this is bad, but…” I wonder why this hesitancy exists. And I don’t doubt that we all experience this hesitancy, but it’s further confounded by the idea that truth is an answer with no “deliverable.”

My critique and review is not meant to be hostile. I just want to ask and push the author - which is not a bad thing. I think there is a lot of unanswered questions and brilliant thinking by Ward that this book is too short to contain. I certainly give this book praise as for the audience it is written for, and I certainly uplift it as a light that change is possible.

[Scott Ward · Rating 5 out of 5]

[Note: I’m not a relative of the author.] Jon Ward and his family has participated in or been at the heart of many of the major Christian movements since the Jesus Revolution of the 1960’s and 1970’s. As a young believer, he participated in many of the religious movements. As a journalist, he watched the rise of the Religious Right. Though he was in it or of it, he still felt like a “border-stalker”—not really part of those tribes. He struggled with the inconsistencies and the power-grabs that he walked away from the faith and politics for a while. Ward encourages us to ask questions, without fear, and wrestle with our doubts and the hypocrisies we might observe. His book encourages anyone who wonders if doubt, questions, annoyance and more at what’s happening in organized political and religious movements has love, joy, peace, patience….at its core.

Ward’s testimony here is an archetype for spiritual formation: we start out believing what our parents believe, then what the “cool kids” believe (i.e. those to whom we want to attach ourselves) and it’s not until we have a crisis of faith—doubt, disappointment—that we can truly own our own faith. This is not just a story of Jon Ward’s faith journey but he seamlessly weaves in cultural and political and religious events happening around his story.

I was intrigued at how he analyzed the rise of “nones” or “nonverts”—those who claim no religious affiliation though they once had it—since the early 1990’s. Another author’s recent book claims the rise of the “nones” happened with the fall of the Soviet Union: that Christianity and patriotism were so woven together, the fall of a great enemy meant we had no need for a religion. I believe that in the early 1990’s with the rise of marriage of conservatism and Christianity, many people were turned off of religion. George H. W. Bush’s Compassionate Conservatism fell out of favor. Anger politics and anger religion took over with the rise of Rush Limbaugh and others. Ward agrees that a new enemy was needed to replace the Soviet Union and so the zealotry turned inward to the US culture. Anger is not attractive; no one likes hanging out all the time with a friend who’s always angry. They don’t make us feel better. But it is entertainment and slowly the anger politics and anger religion seeps into our brain until that’s how we think. What’s the old adage? Show me your five closest friends and I’ll tell you what you think and how you behave.

I listen to Jon Ward’s podcast, The Long Game, and find his in-depth interviews illuminating of the world of Washington, D.C. and beyond. His book, Testimony, is a welcome addition to the telling of his story and how we all should take politics with a grain of salt—or a whole shaker of salt in some cases—and he exhorts us to dig deeper than the Sunday School answers of how we should live in accordance with Christ’s words.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book gifted to me by my friend Cathy and which we read for our EfM book club. We previously read Jesus and John Wayne as a historical means for understanding the move of evangelical Christians towards support of an authoritarian President who seemingly rejects prior priorities of this group from following the rule of law to rejecting politicians who engage in marital misconduct. This book was much more personal. The author was raised as an evangelical Christian and then spent over 20 years as a journalist who got to know politicians from all sides of the aisle by asking questions and listening to their answers to try to understand their viewpoints. Ward applies that method to this book and to his own life and family as a way to better understand why evangelical Christians support candidates whose positions seem so opposed to the message of Jesus to love one another and treat others in the way you want to be treated. The result is a compelling and readable book.

[Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks so much to Brazos Press for an ARC of Testimony! This title caught my eye because my husband grew up evangelical and had a fairly negative experience (understatement). I thought Testimony would be informative and educational, and I was correct. This book is part memoir, part self-discovery, part exposure.

Ward’s testimony (pun intended) is honest, even it’s difficult — this is a white man who admits he struggled to understand “Black Lives Matter.” Instead of wallowing in his ignorance, he sought out members of the Black community and educated himself. Admitting ignorance when it comes to racism is no small feat; I was proud of the author at this point.

No joke: imagine becoming an adult and on your quest to seek information and become your own person, you’re shocked to discover lynching really took place and that the KKK is a thing. You don’t know what’s what when you’re trapped in a bizarre spiritual orb that aims to create obedient, ignorant soldiers rather than well-rounded, spiritual adults.

This book is a reminder to have grace when we are dealing with seemingly difficult and closed-minded people. They may not be as closed-minded as we think; they may be the product of an environment that rallied strongly against thinking critically. This is something I will keep in mind when I interact with others.

The second third of the book deals with politics and the Trump presidency. This is not a topic that interests me, so the book drug a bit in that regard. Overall, though, this is an easy binge read in just a couple hours or so.

4/5 stars. Also, one more shoutout to Brazos Press for being so communicative with and kind to us influencers!

[Camden Morgante · Rating 4 out of 5]

"To struggle toward truth, to refuse easy answers, and to remain in a place where uncertainty and complexity present ongoing challenges—that seems closer to what Jesus would want."

Testimony presents the faith journey of journalist Jon Ward from growing up Evangelical in the 1980s and 1990s to separating from that culture through his work as a political journalist in the 2000s to the reformation of his faith from 2013 to now. Jon rubbed shoulders with C.J. Mahaney, Lou Engle, and even Joshua Harris as he describes his experiences as a homeschooled, conservative child to his coverage of the Trump campaign and election.

Although Jon is about a decade older than me, I could relate to some of his experiences and perspectives. I really appreciated him sharing how hard the political divide has been even in his own family of origin. I often feel left out living in the conservative Christian South and it's good to know I'm not alone in the struggle. I also appreciated his intellectual approach to truth. Jon felt like his religious tradition undervalued loving God with your mind (I felt like mine undervalued the body) so he strives to apply critical thinking, complexity, and nuance.

Beyond being an engaging and relatable story, I didn't find the book to provide many answers or even suggestions for direction. I like more than a personal story when I read a book--I want to know, so what? And, what now? It didn't feel like the book provided a solution or addressed any pain points for me--beyond making me feel less alone.

I recommend the book to anyone who feels isolated politically and theologically and embraces intellectualism in their search for truth.

[Chelsae · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars- there was a lot I liked about this book. He puts words to experiences many of us had growing up in White Evangelical circles. I also appreciated how he tied some of those cultural trends to present day issues within those same circles. There was a lot of honesty and clear grief over the ways aspects of American Christian culture made him vulnerable and distorted his view of the world. However, I did find the tone increasingly grating, even as I agreed with him on many (most!) of his takes. I just kept wondering how anyone with an opposing position would change their mind if they picked up the book. For instance, the way he describes his family suggests to me he seems them as kind but naive at best and corrupted at worst. Meanwhile he describes himself in such a way to suggest he is a clear eyed truth warrior. Again- I tend to agree with him on most of his takes: but if someone approached me with that level of condescension, I’m not sure I’d be receptive to their views either. So how do we move forward? Is there a way to persuade people to a different way of thinking? This book doesn’t substantially answer that question, and so I come away ultimately a little discouraged. The author notes he wrote this book to “lick [his] wounds” (pg 234), so I suppose that’s not his purpose; but that certainly limits the books helpfulness, in my opinion.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I related a lot to this book and I think it would resonate with many of my peers as well. Ward tells the story of his journey of faith, beginning with 20 formative years spent within an influential evangelical church and then the 20 years since as he lived and worked in Washington DC as a journalist, which expanded his worldview beyond the church bubble.

My own experience is not as extreme as Ward’s as I am a bit younger and grew up in a small church (and attended public school) but a lot of this book echoes conversations I’ve had with friends and family members as we wrestle with our own faith and how it’s changed or developed from the evangelical environment of the ‘90s. Ward is able to both denounce Trump and understand the various events that led to his presidency, including the support of many evangelicals.

He does not shy away from sharing how his own family was fractured due to political differences, and suggests that Christians should more often than not, be those in the middle reaching out to those on either end of the political spectrum.

If you grew up reading Brio Magazine or attending Acquire the Fire events with your youth group, this book is for you.

[Leslie (PaperAndKindness) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Testimony, by Jon Ward, is an account of one man's experience growing up in and subsequently leaving the evangelical church, but Ward's insight into the ways the church has changed and his experience as a journalist covering conservative politics set this book apart from others like it. I appreciated Ward's honesty and willingness to confront the pain and resentment the church has created in its pursuit of political power. Ward provides the detail and nuance necessary to analyze this chapter of the church's history, but I think that the inclusion of his personal experience makes this book accessible to a wider audience. As a Houstonian and lifelong member of the Methodist church I have been disheartened by the changes I see in many of my fellow Christians. I still struggle to understand their reasoning, and I am distressed by the evangelical church's descent into fundamentalism. Ward's unique perspective as an ex-vangelical helped me understand the forces that influence so many of my friends. I'm grateful for his witness and I encourage anyone who is troubled by the direction the evangelical church has taken to read this book.

[Valli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jon Ward grew up in what would become a famous church, founded by C.J. Mahaney and eventually pastored by Josh Harris of I-Kissed-Dating-Goodbye fame. And as a political reporter in the upper echelons of media--he covered two presidents as well as two presidential campaigns for Yahoo News--Ward tried to grasp onto his faith, even as his occupation and his religious community seemed at odds. Ward relates how his religious presuppositions slowly chipped away as he opened his eyes to the reality around him. He writes especially passionately about the harms of the purity culture he grew up in. But he saves his sharpest criticisms for the way the church gave up its soul for political power in the 2016 election, which will resound deeply with so many of the rest of us refugees from evangelicalism. He also charts his own mature faith and offers practical, needed ways forward for Christians to actually be a light in the world.

[Tamara D · Rating 4 out of 5]

I heard Ward interviewed recently and was intrigued by his story. In order to pass the time as I pack for a move, I listened to his book. It’s quite good. Ward grew up sequestered in Sovereign Grace Church, surrounded by like minded believers and fed a world view that said the world hated Christians, safety could only be found within the church, and that to love God meant to be on fire for him and to follow the correct political views. Once he engaged with the bigger, broader world, he discovered that all was not as he had been told.
It’s an interesting memoir. Ward has not left God but he has left the evangelical church, having seen it morph from a religion to a political movement, a political movement that is increasingly unmoored from reality and radical.

It’s an interesting book & is worth reading.

[Gabbi Nigmond · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you come from an Evangelical family and were ostracized during the Trump administration, this book is for you. This book eloquently explains how Evangelicalism steadily contributed to the fracturing of families through the cult emergence of Trumpism, the scary anti-intellectual movement, and the church’s rejection of restitution to its victims. These words are the voice of research-based deconstruction and, quite frankly, the “I understand” deconstructionists need no matter if you found faith again or chose to walk away.