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Verachtung: Der nette Narzissmus-Doc erklärt, wie bösartiger Narzissmus entsteht und wir dagegen vorgehen können
In seinem dritten Buch geht Bestsellerautor Pablo Hagemeyer dem Ursprung des bösartigen Narzissmus auf den Grund. Er erklärt anhand konkreter Fallbeispiele aus der psychiatrischen Praxis, wann und wie aus einem narzisstischen Charakter ein*e bösartige*r Narzisst*in wird. Da ist die Frau, die schon als Baby die verachtenden Blicke und den nonverbalen Liebesentzug ihrer Mutter spürte. Das wirkt sich wiederum auf die Beziehung zu ihrem späteren Partner aus. Oder ein Mann, der abwertend und kalt agiert, weil er selbst als Kind ausgegrenzt und verachtet wurde.
Auch seine eigene narzisstische Seite stellt Dr. med. Pablo Hagemeyer wieder auf den Prüfstand. Und er gibt Hoffnung, denn er weiß: Jede*r hat die Möglichkeit, sich zu verändern. Gekonnt verknüpft der Experte anschauliche Beispiele mit fachkundigen Erklärungen und gibt ganz konkrete Tipps, wie man mit bösartigen Narzisst*innen umgehen und das Bösartige aus dem eigenen Narzissmus vertreiben kann.
Auch seine eigene narzisstische Seite stellt Dr. med. Pablo Hagemeyer wieder auf den Prüfstand. Und er gibt Hoffnung, denn er weiß: Jede*r hat die Möglichkeit, sich zu verändern. Gekonnt verknüpft der Experte anschauliche Beispiele mit fachkundigen Erklärungen und gibt ganz konkrete Tipps, wie man mit bösartigen Narzisst*innen umgehen und das Bösartige aus dem eigenen Narzissmus vertreiben kann.
266 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 4, 2023
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
April 8, 2026
This was a dumpster fire from the get-go.
I came across this book not even seeing the title, but the cover, from afar. And I thought, "Ah, another narcissist in a supposedly "confident" pose on the cover of his own book, how original."
Coming closer, I saw the title and had to laugh.
The first thing I thought when starting the book was, "Oh yes. I know that language. That way of speaking, the vernacular, that void and coldness. That guy is cluster B himself."
Hagemeyer did a fine job basically rubbing it in your face with his later anecdotal inserts about his marriage, without yet outright saying the words:
Whatever the antagonist of his book, Hans, does or feels, Hagemeyer picks it up. Hans is paranoid and fearing his partner Hannah's disdain? So does Hagemeyer. Hans uses his daughter as a sounding board? Hagemeyer calls his daughter and "makes a conscious effort not to talk about himself." Hans has separation anxiety? He tests his wife: can she still "feel" his spiritual body/their connection (I'm leaving this esoteric nonsense uncommented here) if he moves one meter, five, ten, forty away? She can? Whew! What a relief.
He declares that everyone has narcissistic features, it's totally fine, we just need to know how to handle them.
This is all the subtle abuse I know from cluster B's. Their proto-love is transactional? Ha! All love is transactional! Be logical! Think about it—why are you with your partner, why do you do XYZ for your friends? Everything is manipulation! It doesn't have to be bad? See? You're cool, I'm cool.
Hagemeyer is too clever (ASPD traits?) to push harder than what the zeitgeist permits, but a halfwit with limited forensic linguistic skills could easily see that this is exactly what he's doing.
Behind his assertions that he wants to help people, there is always the same disdain for them—Hannah is declared a narcissist herself. Her vulnerability due to childhood abuse, her anxiety, her confusion about her abuser Hans, her obvious C-PTSD are being weaponized against her by Hagemeyer.
I know all this so well that it was impossible not to laugh as soon as these patterns started to repeat all over this book.
The covert mockery of the reader even happens in the subtitle of the book. "Der *nette* Narzissmusdoktor..."
Apparently, there are editions of the book where they took the word "nice" out.
The myth of the "friendly" narcissist who aids the downtrodden (former and current cluster B targets) is currently all over social media and the media in general.
Diagnosed narcissists like The Batwolf, Lee Hammock and others offer women (it's always this way around, wonder why) private coaching sessions and post daily, even hourly, bathing in the idiocy of the brainwashed who declare that they "always knew narcissists can change." The level of delusionalism and gratitude of the former victims makes it impossible for them to actually start to get better. (And smarter.)
One of my favorite grandiose parts of this trainwreck is when Hagemeyer suddenly (seemingly) claims that he found Hannah's abusers, husband Hans and spiritual con artist David, on the dark web and "confronted" them gently because after all, perpetrators deserve therapy more than anything!
Pages and pages after self-aggrandizement later, Hagemeyer confirms that he only made this part up.
I am under no delusion as to why, but I'm sure I'm one of the fewer ones. Once narcissists believe they are "self-aware" and changing (or changed) they love taking on a dark avenger sort of role. They convince themselves they identify or at least "empathize" with the victims, but it's really just a more sinister and subtle way of abuse. Why be overt when you can play them into thanking you? Remember, the cleverest abusers are Machiavellian. You don't see them, unless you watched, studied, and analyzed them closely. Of course, this man doesn't even know Machiavelli's first name. It's Niccolo, not, as he claims, Giovanni. Where was the editor?!
The fact that this dreck is a Spiegelbestseller, and not even Hagemeyers first one, is amusing, albeit not surprising. The world is filled with willing victims and gullibly hopeful idiots everywhere.
The only thing you can do with cluster B's is: Don't believe them. Starting with this book and author.
I came across this book not even seeing the title, but the cover, from afar. And I thought, "Ah, another narcissist in a supposedly "confident" pose on the cover of his own book, how original."
Coming closer, I saw the title and had to laugh.
The first thing I thought when starting the book was, "Oh yes. I know that language. That way of speaking, the vernacular, that void and coldness. That guy is cluster B himself."
Hagemeyer did a fine job basically rubbing it in your face with his later anecdotal inserts about his marriage, without yet outright saying the words:
Whatever the antagonist of his book, Hans, does or feels, Hagemeyer picks it up. Hans is paranoid and fearing his partner Hannah's disdain? So does Hagemeyer. Hans uses his daughter as a sounding board? Hagemeyer calls his daughter and "makes a conscious effort not to talk about himself." Hans has separation anxiety? He tests his wife: can she still "feel" his spiritual body/their connection (I'm leaving this esoteric nonsense uncommented here) if he moves one meter, five, ten, forty away? She can? Whew! What a relief.
He declares that everyone has narcissistic features, it's totally fine, we just need to know how to handle them.
This is all the subtle abuse I know from cluster B's. Their proto-love is transactional? Ha! All love is transactional! Be logical! Think about it—why are you with your partner, why do you do XYZ for your friends? Everything is manipulation! It doesn't have to be bad? See? You're cool, I'm cool.
Hagemeyer is too clever (ASPD traits?) to push harder than what the zeitgeist permits, but a halfwit with limited forensic linguistic skills could easily see that this is exactly what he's doing.
Behind his assertions that he wants to help people, there is always the same disdain for them—Hannah is declared a narcissist herself. Her vulnerability due to childhood abuse, her anxiety, her confusion about her abuser Hans, her obvious C-PTSD are being weaponized against her by Hagemeyer.
I know all this so well that it was impossible not to laugh as soon as these patterns started to repeat all over this book.
The covert mockery of the reader even happens in the subtitle of the book. "Der *nette* Narzissmusdoktor..."
Apparently, there are editions of the book where they took the word "nice" out.
The myth of the "friendly" narcissist who aids the downtrodden (former and current cluster B targets) is currently all over social media and the media in general.
Diagnosed narcissists like The Batwolf, Lee Hammock and others offer women (it's always this way around, wonder why) private coaching sessions and post daily, even hourly, bathing in the idiocy of the brainwashed who declare that they "always knew narcissists can change." The level of delusionalism and gratitude of the former victims makes it impossible for them to actually start to get better. (And smarter.)
One of my favorite grandiose parts of this trainwreck is when Hagemeyer suddenly (seemingly) claims that he found Hannah's abusers, husband Hans and spiritual con artist David, on the dark web and "confronted" them gently because after all, perpetrators deserve therapy more than anything!
Pages and pages after self-aggrandizement later, Hagemeyer confirms that he only made this part up.
I am under no delusion as to why, but I'm sure I'm one of the fewer ones. Once narcissists believe they are "self-aware" and changing (or changed) they love taking on a dark avenger sort of role. They convince themselves they identify or at least "empathize" with the victims, but it's really just a more sinister and subtle way of abuse. Why be overt when you can play them into thanking you? Remember, the cleverest abusers are Machiavellian. You don't see them, unless you watched, studied, and analyzed them closely. Of course, this man doesn't even know Machiavelli's first name. It's Niccolo, not, as he claims, Giovanni. Where was the editor?!
The fact that this dreck is a Spiegelbestseller, and not even Hagemeyers first one, is amusing, albeit not surprising. The world is filled with willing victims and gullibly hopeful idiots everywhere.
The only thing you can do with cluster B's is: Don't believe them. Starting with this book and author.
April 3, 2023
„Das Böse ist menschengemacht. Es gehört zum Menschsein von Anbeginn der Zeit. Würden wir dem Bösen eine Gestalt zuschreiben, damit wir es begreifen und benennen, so wäre es der Schatten in uns allen.“
Wir begleiten in Dr. Pablo Hagemeyers Buch „Verachtung“ das Ehepaar Hans und Hannah und erhalten Einblicke in die psychotherapeutische Therapie und den Umgang mit Narzissten. Dabei geht der Autor auch auf persönliche Gedanken während des Schreibprozesses ein und gibt praktische Tipps.
Im Mittelteil dreht es sich viel um die Rechtspraxis und Narzissten vor Gericht. Auch wenn dieser Abschnitt besonders emotional ist und einen am Rechtssystem und der Gesellschaft zweifeln lässt, fehlte mir hier etwas Struktur und Erläuterungen zur Entstehung von Narzissmus. Dies wird zwar im ersten Teil angerissen, kam mir aber zu kurz.
Die letzten Kapitel sind sehr tiefgreifend, vor allem die Einordnung der Narzissmus- und Kinder-Typen (z. B. das Gaslight-Kind, das „schwarze Schaf“, das Harmonie-Kind) fand ich sehr interessant. Auch die Tatsache, dass Kinder narzisstischer Eltern selbst Gefahr laufen Narzissten zu werden, wird hier erläutert.
Dies ist das dritte Buch von Dr. Hagemeyer und auch wenn es mir im Mittelteil etwas an Struktur gefehlt hat, fand ich die letzten Kapitel sehr lehrreich, sodass ich seine anderen beiden Bücher auch lesen werde. Und das hier wahrscheinlich auch nochmal, denn das Thema ist wirklich sehr komplex.
Wir begleiten in Dr. Pablo Hagemeyers Buch „Verachtung“ das Ehepaar Hans und Hannah und erhalten Einblicke in die psychotherapeutische Therapie und den Umgang mit Narzissten. Dabei geht der Autor auch auf persönliche Gedanken während des Schreibprozesses ein und gibt praktische Tipps.
Im Mittelteil dreht es sich viel um die Rechtspraxis und Narzissten vor Gericht. Auch wenn dieser Abschnitt besonders emotional ist und einen am Rechtssystem und der Gesellschaft zweifeln lässt, fehlte mir hier etwas Struktur und Erläuterungen zur Entstehung von Narzissmus. Dies wird zwar im ersten Teil angerissen, kam mir aber zu kurz.
Die letzten Kapitel sind sehr tiefgreifend, vor allem die Einordnung der Narzissmus- und Kinder-Typen (z. B. das Gaslight-Kind, das „schwarze Schaf“, das Harmonie-Kind) fand ich sehr interessant. Auch die Tatsache, dass Kinder narzisstischer Eltern selbst Gefahr laufen Narzissten zu werden, wird hier erläutert.
Dies ist das dritte Buch von Dr. Hagemeyer und auch wenn es mir im Mittelteil etwas an Struktur gefehlt hat, fand ich die letzten Kapitel sehr lehrreich, sodass ich seine anderen beiden Bücher auch lesen werde. Und das hier wahrscheinlich auch nochmal, denn das Thema ist wirklich sehr komplex.
April 19, 2024
Spannend, um gewisse Machtspiele zu erkennen.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews