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The Other Pandemic: An AIDS Memoir
A searing photo-illustrated historical memoir from the LGBTQIA+ frontlines of the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s and 1990s.
Before COVID-19 made "pandemic" a household word in 2020, there was the AIDS pandemic of the 1980s and 1990s. Author Lynn Curlee explores the parallels and the difference as he recounts living in New York and Los Angeles when the disease silently took hold of the gay community. As the disease became a full-blown public health crisis, Curlee watched in horror at the devastating progression of HIV/AIDS, the staggering losses endured, and divisive politics and discrimination that cost many people their lives.
With honesty and heart, Curlee tells the stories of the many friends and loved ones that he lost to the disease, including his own life partner. LGBTQ+ rights and access to health care continues to be threatened today. The Other Pandemic is a stark and strong reminder of how history speaks to the present, and this window to the past is a valuable tool for understanding our current cultural landscape.
“HEARTBREAKING! This memoir of the AIDS plague is a powerful reminder to those of us who miraculously lived through it — and a valuable eye-opener for younger generations who can never allow this to happen again. With the COVID pandemic on everyone’s radar, there couldn’t be a more teachable moment. Author Lynn Curlee grabs this pulpit by the throat and fearlessly makes the case that we must never forget.”
— Sam Irvin , filmmaker and author
"Reading The Other Pandemic was a very personal journey for me. I lost my stepfather to AIDS in 1993 when he was just 44 years old. The way Lynn shares his own life experiences a gay man living during this historic time of loss and perseverance is so insightful, and incredibly important to share with those who were not there firsthand to experience it."
— Carol Bennett , daughter of Tim Bennett, a major character in THE OTHER PANDEMIC
"Reading The Other An AIDS Memoir is akin to settling in with a dear, dear friend for a long-overdue catchup. Lynn Curlee’s effortless and evocative prose is much more than a poignant account of a not-distant-past epidemic that galvanized the LGBTQ+ community. It is a deeply personal and brave story of chosen families, political deafness, and hard-fought resolve. Curlee both broke my heart and mended it."
— Jeffrey Dale Lofton , author of Red Clay Suzie
"The Other Pandemic is a poignant and raw examination of the AIDS crisis that highlights how much the past shapes our present. Lynn Curlee has accomplished something beautiful here—I could not put it down. I am grateful he chose to share his loved ones with the world."
— Leo Rocha , Journalist and GLAAD "20 under 20" honoree
Before COVID-19 made "pandemic" a household word in 2020, there was the AIDS pandemic of the 1980s and 1990s. Author Lynn Curlee explores the parallels and the difference as he recounts living in New York and Los Angeles when the disease silently took hold of the gay community. As the disease became a full-blown public health crisis, Curlee watched in horror at the devastating progression of HIV/AIDS, the staggering losses endured, and divisive politics and discrimination that cost many people their lives.
With honesty and heart, Curlee tells the stories of the many friends and loved ones that he lost to the disease, including his own life partner. LGBTQ+ rights and access to health care continues to be threatened today. The Other Pandemic is a stark and strong reminder of how history speaks to the present, and this window to the past is a valuable tool for understanding our current cultural landscape.
“HEARTBREAKING! This memoir of the AIDS plague is a powerful reminder to those of us who miraculously lived through it — and a valuable eye-opener for younger generations who can never allow this to happen again. With the COVID pandemic on everyone’s radar, there couldn’t be a more teachable moment. Author Lynn Curlee grabs this pulpit by the throat and fearlessly makes the case that we must never forget.”
— Sam Irvin , filmmaker and author
"Reading The Other Pandemic was a very personal journey for me. I lost my stepfather to AIDS in 1993 when he was just 44 years old. The way Lynn shares his own life experiences a gay man living during this historic time of loss and perseverance is so insightful, and incredibly important to share with those who were not there firsthand to experience it."
— Carol Bennett , daughter of Tim Bennett, a major character in THE OTHER PANDEMIC
"Reading The Other An AIDS Memoir is akin to settling in with a dear, dear friend for a long-overdue catchup. Lynn Curlee’s effortless and evocative prose is much more than a poignant account of a not-distant-past epidemic that galvanized the LGBTQ+ community. It is a deeply personal and brave story of chosen families, political deafness, and hard-fought resolve. Curlee both broke my heart and mended it."
— Jeffrey Dale Lofton , author of Red Clay Suzie
"The Other Pandemic is a poignant and raw examination of the AIDS crisis that highlights how much the past shapes our present. Lynn Curlee has accomplished something beautiful here—I could not put it down. I am grateful he chose to share his loved ones with the world."
— Leo Rocha , Journalist and GLAAD "20 under 20" honoree
176 pages, Hardcover
Published June 6, 2023
8 people are currently reading
168 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
February 16, 2023
part memoir, part history, part science, “the other pandemic” explores the aids crisis through lynn curlee’s eyes. as a gay painter who lived in both new york and california during the height of the aids pandemic, he brings both context and heart to the lgbtqia+ community. there are beautiful photos of men who have passed from brutal deaths within this story, accompanied by the science behind hiv/aids.
curlee writes from a place of both love and fear, sharing what life was like before treatments for aids existed and gay men were systemically mistreated. the memorial in the back of the book will make you tear up.
my only complaint is that when curlee writes about stonewall and other important movements (act up, etc.) he completely leaves out trans women. he does not write about any trans women at all, and ignores the work they contributed to our community. in fact, the only time curlee mentions trans people, gender non-conforming people, and nonbinary people is at the end, to insinuate that these are “new” identities and that gay men did most of the work to build a platform for liberation. i also feel that this is sanitized to be easily digested by straight cis people. trans women are once again erased from history or referred to explicitly as “drag queens.”
thank you to netgalley and the publisher for an arc in exchange for an honest review!
curlee writes from a place of both love and fear, sharing what life was like before treatments for aids existed and gay men were systemically mistreated. the memorial in the back of the book will make you tear up.
my only complaint is that when curlee writes about stonewall and other important movements (act up, etc.) he completely leaves out trans women. he does not write about any trans women at all, and ignores the work they contributed to our community. in fact, the only time curlee mentions trans people, gender non-conforming people, and nonbinary people is at the end, to insinuate that these are “new” identities and that gay men did most of the work to build a platform for liberation. i also feel that this is sanitized to be easily digested by straight cis people. trans women are once again erased from history or referred to explicitly as “drag queens.”
thank you to netgalley and the publisher for an arc in exchange for an honest review!
May 27, 2023
Thank you to Charlesbridge and Netgalley for the ARC
Though very short with about 165 pages, 'The Other Pandemic' packed an emotional punch. This book is Lynn Curlee's memoir about the devastating years of the AIDS pandemic in New York, and it portrays the horror of the slowly unfurling epidemic and the grief of losing so many you love.
With a lot of love and admiration for those he lost, Curlee takes the reader through his personal account of those horrifying years for gay men up until the loss of his life partner.
Even though this is hardly the first time I read about the history of AIDS, I think it is of the utmost importance to spend time with such personal accounts because it's easy to think of this pandemic in an abstract sense, as something of the last century or historical. Curlee reminds us what it meant to live through those not-so-long-gone years and survive.
Though very short with about 165 pages, 'The Other Pandemic' packed an emotional punch. This book is Lynn Curlee's memoir about the devastating years of the AIDS pandemic in New York, and it portrays the horror of the slowly unfurling epidemic and the grief of losing so many you love.
With a lot of love and admiration for those he lost, Curlee takes the reader through his personal account of those horrifying years for gay men up until the loss of his life partner.
Even though this is hardly the first time I read about the history of AIDS, I think it is of the utmost importance to spend time with such personal accounts because it's easy to think of this pandemic in an abstract sense, as something of the last century or historical. Curlee reminds us what it meant to live through those not-so-long-gone years and survive.
June 29, 2023
3 / 5 stars
Overall a decent introductory look on the AIDS pandemic during the 1980s and 1990s through the personal account of the author. I can't compare it to anything else, since I haven't read any other "AIDS memoirs" so far, but I have a feeling this won't stand out among others.
1.) I wished I had known this was for younger readers in the beginning of the book, because I kept asking myself why it reads so young and at times very patronizing.
2.) It's not a very reflective memoir. It's more a list of names and places and things these people did and accomplished throughout the years. I can empathize with the trauma that the author and his friends have gone through but it was difficult to care for all of these people when all we got were some superficial facts about them. This memoir truly shines in the moments when the author tells us about his relationship with his life partner up until his death.
3.) One of the things that interested me the most was the "compare the experience of COVID-19 and AIDS" aspect of the synopsis which doesn't hold up at all. It's like the comparison was an afterthought to make this story more timely for marketing reasons or something.
Thank you to NetGalley and Charlesbridge for giving me the opportunity to read this in exchange for an honest review.
content notes:
◦ explicit: death, homophobia, medical content, pandemic/epidemic, terminal illness
◦ moderate: cancer, grief
◦ minor: alcoholism, animal death, death (parent), police brutality, racism, suicide, war
February 14, 2023
Astounding historic relic. I’m still sitting here reflecting on Curlee and these men who meant the world to him and were lost at such a devastatingly young age to a hideous disease that no one cared about. I came to love these men. They were funny and opinionated and urban and gritty and wonderful. And even if they hadn’t been, it wouldn’t matter. They lived and they died and no one in their government cared for one damned second that they suffered and others suffered for their loss. And that same government is in charge today and still does not care about how queer people are represented and treated in our society. They lived through this unbelievable time of pain and loss and still see queer people as a societal group unworthy of rights and acceptance. It disgusts me.
But back to Lynn’s book. I loved the pictures, giving faces to the victims. I loved the contextualization of the promiscuity among gay men that drew so much ire during the AIDS crisis. When you fight for centuries for liberation and finally find joy among your own kind, why the hell would you give that up willingly just because a disease manifests that may be related to your lifestyle? While in hindsight the author understands the concern, in the moment I can sympathize with the hesitancy. Likewise, when you are watching hundreds of people die around you and no one is doing anything to stop it, I can understand a distrust that would cause many in the LGBTQIA community to resist vaccination during Covid. Your government has proven not to care about you once…why trust them a second time?
Mostly what this book made me reflect on is the dearth of gay elders. Why is everyone at Pride so young, Gen Z asks? Because the late stage boomers and early millennials buried them all. They were here and they died and that is why none of us trust Republicans. Because death was at their heels and they celebrated. They saw it as a moral judgment by an unfeeling god. If you want to know why I’m an atheist? The AIDS crisis. That’s why.
But back to Lynn’s book. I loved the pictures, giving faces to the victims. I loved the contextualization of the promiscuity among gay men that drew so much ire during the AIDS crisis. When you fight for centuries for liberation and finally find joy among your own kind, why the hell would you give that up willingly just because a disease manifests that may be related to your lifestyle? While in hindsight the author understands the concern, in the moment I can sympathize with the hesitancy. Likewise, when you are watching hundreds of people die around you and no one is doing anything to stop it, I can understand a distrust that would cause many in the LGBTQIA community to resist vaccination during Covid. Your government has proven not to care about you once…why trust them a second time?
Mostly what this book made me reflect on is the dearth of gay elders. Why is everyone at Pride so young, Gen Z asks? Because the late stage boomers and early millennials buried them all. They were here and they died and that is why none of us trust Republicans. Because death was at their heels and they celebrated. They saw it as a moral judgment by an unfeeling god. If you want to know why I’m an atheist? The AIDS crisis. That’s why.
May 9, 2023
This book caught my eye because of the Covid-19 framing device, it served as a nice point of reference for a younger audience. Which transitions me into what is my biggest issue with this book, it feels like it is written for a younger audience than it's being marketed toward. The author's experience as a children's author shines through in that it feels like the audience he had in the back of his mind while writing was a juvenile crowd as opposed to young adult. As someone outside of the target age group, I'm hoping that's just my own age showing, but there were times that I felt talked down to.
Maybe that's a good thing though in some ways, as the community continues to cycle through the same arguments it's been having since the 60s as far as respectability politics and the correct way to be gay. It serves as a reminder of the older generation that's been lost and what needs to continue to be fought for. As a memoir, it provides an intimate view of what it was like to live at the time. It's also a singular view. One that can and does leave out some of the other members of the community who were also fighting during this time, and who were also affected by the pandemic. The author is aware of the privilege he had and what it meant during the time, which helps keeps it from feeling totally out of touch. I wouldn't go so far as to say it was sanitizing what was a brutal time in Queer history, but in keeping things palatable for a young audience I do think some things were left out. Again though, it's a memoir not a history so it's a look into a personal perspective of the time.
One thing I liked was that it covered the before and after the crisis. It helped keep things from feeling hopeless, as a story about the AIDS pandemic and a foil for Covid it's nice to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel which as the author can attest can be hard to see when you're in the middle of the pandemic. A worthwhile read for sure.
Maybe that's a good thing though in some ways, as the community continues to cycle through the same arguments it's been having since the 60s as far as respectability politics and the correct way to be gay. It serves as a reminder of the older generation that's been lost and what needs to continue to be fought for. As a memoir, it provides an intimate view of what it was like to live at the time. It's also a singular view. One that can and does leave out some of the other members of the community who were also fighting during this time, and who were also affected by the pandemic. The author is aware of the privilege he had and what it meant during the time, which helps keeps it from feeling totally out of touch. I wouldn't go so far as to say it was sanitizing what was a brutal time in Queer history, but in keeping things palatable for a young audience I do think some things were left out. Again though, it's a memoir not a history so it's a look into a personal perspective of the time.
One thing I liked was that it covered the before and after the crisis. It helped keep things from feeling hopeless, as a story about the AIDS pandemic and a foil for Covid it's nice to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel which as the author can attest can be hard to see when you're in the middle of the pandemic. A worthwhile read for sure.
April 11, 2023
Big thanks to NetGalley for the e-ARC of this in exchange for an honest review!
I feel honored to get to experience reading this book pre-publication. Lynn Curlee's memoir about coming into his own as a queer person during the AIDS epidemic was heartbreaking to read, especially as he compares it to current teens growing up surrounded by COVID.
As an avid enjoyer of queer history, I have found it necessary, though incredibly difficult, to learn about the AIDS crisis. I think one of the best ways to do so is to read, watch, or listen to the stories of those who lived through it, and this book is the perfect example of why. I learned, yes, but I also got to feel (for however brief the book is) connected to a queer elder who paved the way for people like me stepping into our queerness in this post-AIDS world. I have never known the fear that I would get a deadly disease, unknowingly spread it to a partner, and eventually wither away while the general public watched me with disgust. I am lucky, but so many were not. Reading about Curlee's friends and partners who one by one succumbed to a virus we knew very little about reminded me of how much divides my generation and the previous one, but it also fostered a sense of community between them and me. I don't know AIDS on a personal level, but I do know COVID. I became an adult during the pandemic and it changed every bit of me. I know what it is like to have my world altered indefinitely because of a disease the government would rather make a political issue than a public health one.
This memoir never expects its audience to feel at fault for anything that happened to the people it talks about -- it's aimed at teens. But it expects them to slot the stories of the queer men who died into their outlook on the pandemic. Yes, AIDS caused an entire subset of people to live in fear for over a decade, but those people emerged from those hardships stronger than ever and even more willing to fight for the right to survive. I was sad reading this, but I was also uplifted. Encouraged to make my voice heard. To refuse to let those in power take away from the life I am supposed to be allowed to live. It doesn't shy away from the tragedy of what happened to queer people in the 1980s, but it also shows the joy those people experienced. This is a story of perseverance, of people getting beat down and finding a way to get back up again and dance and sing and fight for what is right.
I think queer kids growing up with access to books like this will realize how important the fight we've been fighting is. We've been going at it for so long, and it's exhausting, but if we keep it up no child will ever grow up afraid that they will never get to live openly with the person they love. For too long we have lived quietly, let our anger simmer beneath our skin, but this book is a clear example of the good that can come from letting ourselves be angry. Things have changed. Things will continue to change. And artists like Lynn Curlee will tell the stories of those who can't tell them anymore.
I feel honored to get to experience reading this book pre-publication. Lynn Curlee's memoir about coming into his own as a queer person during the AIDS epidemic was heartbreaking to read, especially as he compares it to current teens growing up surrounded by COVID.
As an avid enjoyer of queer history, I have found it necessary, though incredibly difficult, to learn about the AIDS crisis. I think one of the best ways to do so is to read, watch, or listen to the stories of those who lived through it, and this book is the perfect example of why. I learned, yes, but I also got to feel (for however brief the book is) connected to a queer elder who paved the way for people like me stepping into our queerness in this post-AIDS world. I have never known the fear that I would get a deadly disease, unknowingly spread it to a partner, and eventually wither away while the general public watched me with disgust. I am lucky, but so many were not. Reading about Curlee's friends and partners who one by one succumbed to a virus we knew very little about reminded me of how much divides my generation and the previous one, but it also fostered a sense of community between them and me. I don't know AIDS on a personal level, but I do know COVID. I became an adult during the pandemic and it changed every bit of me. I know what it is like to have my world altered indefinitely because of a disease the government would rather make a political issue than a public health one.
This memoir never expects its audience to feel at fault for anything that happened to the people it talks about -- it's aimed at teens. But it expects them to slot the stories of the queer men who died into their outlook on the pandemic. Yes, AIDS caused an entire subset of people to live in fear for over a decade, but those people emerged from those hardships stronger than ever and even more willing to fight for the right to survive. I was sad reading this, but I was also uplifted. Encouraged to make my voice heard. To refuse to let those in power take away from the life I am supposed to be allowed to live. It doesn't shy away from the tragedy of what happened to queer people in the 1980s, but it also shows the joy those people experienced. This is a story of perseverance, of people getting beat down and finding a way to get back up again and dance and sing and fight for what is right.
I think queer kids growing up with access to books like this will realize how important the fight we've been fighting is. We've been going at it for so long, and it's exhausting, but if we keep it up no child will ever grow up afraid that they will never get to live openly with the person they love. For too long we have lived quietly, let our anger simmer beneath our skin, but this book is a clear example of the good that can come from letting ourselves be angry. Things have changed. Things will continue to change. And artists like Lynn Curlee will tell the stories of those who can't tell them anymore.
June 6, 2023
Overall Rating: 4.5/5
First Take: I read this book in one day, it was that captivating! As a suburban kid of the 90s, I was spared most of the horror of living through the early years of this terrible illness. By the time I came of age and entered the healthcare profession, HIV/AIDS was no longer a death sentence, but a chronic illness that could be managed well with medications. This memoir is a chilling reminder of what this virus can do and how vulnerable we humans really are, and that collective inaction can lead to the literal disappearance of entire communities. I was immediately gripped by Lynn Curlee’s story, which felt both deeply personal but also educational (in a really good way). It is powerfully moving and sad– how could an AIDS memoir not be– but it is also a love story. It is because of this equal attention to love and loss that I found I didn’t need as many tissues as I thought I would. It’s the kind of book that leaves you sitting in the dark with your feelings for a while because it’s just so much, the kind of story where you find that the precious lives lived within the pages will never truly leave you, both because they are memorable in their heartbreak and the terrible understanding that these people really lived and died.
Praises: Picking up a memoir about the early days of AIDS is a daunting task. If you are interested in this subject matter, you probably already know a bit about it, and likely none of what you know is happy or good. So I was prepared to cry. A lot. And as much as this book is a story of the horror of that time, it is also a tale of one man’s love for his friends and family, his partner, and his way of life. And that love is what shines through the most in this book. I got the impression that Lynn Curlee just wanted to introduce us to all the awesome people in his world, whom we’ll never get to know in person because they were taken from this earth well before their time. I adored how the book included so many pictures of Curlee’s friends and life, the photos made this sense of knowing possible! How could I be sad in the face of so much love? Ok, I totally was, but in a different, less depressing way than I expected. I also appreciated how Curlee took the time to discuss what the culture was like around this time, both within the gay community and in mainstream society. It provides some context for understanding how the HIV virus was able to spread so effectively at that particular moment in time, and why the response to the crisis was so maddeningly slow. In all, this is a great introduction and objective look into the early years of the AIDS pandemic through the lens of one man’s life.
Critiques: Keep in mind that this is a memoir, not a history book (though it does contain a lot of helpful history). As such, the perspective and focus of the historical events and timelines mentioned within the pages relate primarily to the gay community and how it was affected by and responded to the early AIDS crisis, since the author is a member of that community. For more information on the perspectives of, say, the lesbian or trans communities– or even mainstream society– you’ll want to look elsewhere.
Prose: We learn in the book that the author is also a writer of several children’s books, and it makes sense in that it seems to me that he might have written this book with his usual audience in the back of his mind. That’s not to say that his prose is juvenile, not at all! Rather, it is written in a way that feels appropriate and relatable for everyone, including younger people. I could easily see teenage me picking up this book and getting just as much out of it as I do now.
I received an advance copy of this book from Net Galley.
Check out the full review here: The Hopeless Romanticist
Merged review:
Overall Rating: 4.5/5
First Take: I read this book in one day, it was that captivating! As a suburban kid of the 90s, I was spared most of the horror of living through the early years of this terrible illness. By the time I came of age and entered the healthcare profession, HIV/AIDS was no longer a death sentence, but a chronic illness that could be managed well with medications. This memoir is a chilling reminder of what this virus can do and how vulnerable we humans really are, and that collective inaction can lead to the literal disappearance of entire communities. I was immediately gripped by Lynn Curlee’s story, which felt both deeply personal but also educational (in a really good way). It is powerfully moving and sad– how could an AIDS memoir not be– but it is also a love story. It is because of this equal attention to love and loss that I found I didn’t need as many tissues as I thought I would. It’s the kind of book that leaves you sitting in the dark with your feelings for a while because it’s just so much, the kind of story where you find that the precious lives lived within the pages will never truly leave you, both because they are memorable in their heartbreak and the terrible understanding that these people really lived and died.
Praises: Picking up a memoir about the early days of AIDS is a daunting task. If you are interested in this subject matter, you probably already know a bit about it, and likely none of what you know is happy or good. So I was prepared to cry. A lot. And as much as this book is a story of the horror of that time, it is also a tale of one man’s love for his friends and family, his partner, and his way of life. And that love is what shines through the most in this book. I got the impression that Lynn Curlee just wanted to introduce us to all the awesome people in his world, whom we’ll never get to know in person because they were taken from this earth well before their time. I adored how the book included so many pictures of Curlee’s friends and life, the photos made this sense of knowing possible! How could I be sad in the face of so much love? Ok, I totally was, but in a different, less depressing way than I expected. I also appreciated how Curlee took the time to discuss what the culture was like around this time, both within the gay community and in mainstream society. It provides some context for understanding how the HIV virus was able to spread so effectively at that particular moment in time, and why the response to the crisis was so maddeningly slow. In all, this is a great introduction and objective look into the early years of the AIDS pandemic through the lens of one man’s life.
Critiques: Keep in mind that this is a memoir, not a history book (though it does contain a lot of helpful history). As such, the perspective and focus of the historical events and timelines mentioned within the pages relate primarily to the gay community and how it was affected by and responded to the early AIDS crisis, since the author is a member of that community. For more information on the perspectives of, say, the lesbian or trans communities– or even mainstream society– you’ll want to look elsewhere.
Prose: We learn in the book that the author is also a writer of several children’s books, and it makes sense in that it seems to me that he might have written this book with his usual audience in the back of his mind. That’s not to say that his prose is juvenile, not at all! Rather, it is written in a way that feels appropriate and relatable for everyone, including younger people. I could easily see teenage me picking up this book and getting just as much out of it as I do now.
I received an advance copy of this book from Net Galley.
Check out the full review here: The Hopeless Romanticist
First Take: I read this book in one day, it was that captivating! As a suburban kid of the 90s, I was spared most of the horror of living through the early years of this terrible illness. By the time I came of age and entered the healthcare profession, HIV/AIDS was no longer a death sentence, but a chronic illness that could be managed well with medications. This memoir is a chilling reminder of what this virus can do and how vulnerable we humans really are, and that collective inaction can lead to the literal disappearance of entire communities. I was immediately gripped by Lynn Curlee’s story, which felt both deeply personal but also educational (in a really good way). It is powerfully moving and sad– how could an AIDS memoir not be– but it is also a love story. It is because of this equal attention to love and loss that I found I didn’t need as many tissues as I thought I would. It’s the kind of book that leaves you sitting in the dark with your feelings for a while because it’s just so much, the kind of story where you find that the precious lives lived within the pages will never truly leave you, both because they are memorable in their heartbreak and the terrible understanding that these people really lived and died.
Praises: Picking up a memoir about the early days of AIDS is a daunting task. If you are interested in this subject matter, you probably already know a bit about it, and likely none of what you know is happy or good. So I was prepared to cry. A lot. And as much as this book is a story of the horror of that time, it is also a tale of one man’s love for his friends and family, his partner, and his way of life. And that love is what shines through the most in this book. I got the impression that Lynn Curlee just wanted to introduce us to all the awesome people in his world, whom we’ll never get to know in person because they were taken from this earth well before their time. I adored how the book included so many pictures of Curlee’s friends and life, the photos made this sense of knowing possible! How could I be sad in the face of so much love? Ok, I totally was, but in a different, less depressing way than I expected. I also appreciated how Curlee took the time to discuss what the culture was like around this time, both within the gay community and in mainstream society. It provides some context for understanding how the HIV virus was able to spread so effectively at that particular moment in time, and why the response to the crisis was so maddeningly slow. In all, this is a great introduction and objective look into the early years of the AIDS pandemic through the lens of one man’s life.
Critiques: Keep in mind that this is a memoir, not a history book (though it does contain a lot of helpful history). As such, the perspective and focus of the historical events and timelines mentioned within the pages relate primarily to the gay community and how it was affected by and responded to the early AIDS crisis, since the author is a member of that community. For more information on the perspectives of, say, the lesbian or trans communities– or even mainstream society– you’ll want to look elsewhere.
Prose: We learn in the book that the author is also a writer of several children’s books, and it makes sense in that it seems to me that he might have written this book with his usual audience in the back of his mind. That’s not to say that his prose is juvenile, not at all! Rather, it is written in a way that feels appropriate and relatable for everyone, including younger people. I could easily see teenage me picking up this book and getting just as much out of it as I do now.
I received an advance copy of this book from Net Galley.
Check out the full review here: The Hopeless Romanticist
Merged review:
Overall Rating: 4.5/5
First Take: I read this book in one day, it was that captivating! As a suburban kid of the 90s, I was spared most of the horror of living through the early years of this terrible illness. By the time I came of age and entered the healthcare profession, HIV/AIDS was no longer a death sentence, but a chronic illness that could be managed well with medications. This memoir is a chilling reminder of what this virus can do and how vulnerable we humans really are, and that collective inaction can lead to the literal disappearance of entire communities. I was immediately gripped by Lynn Curlee’s story, which felt both deeply personal but also educational (in a really good way). It is powerfully moving and sad– how could an AIDS memoir not be– but it is also a love story. It is because of this equal attention to love and loss that I found I didn’t need as many tissues as I thought I would. It’s the kind of book that leaves you sitting in the dark with your feelings for a while because it’s just so much, the kind of story where you find that the precious lives lived within the pages will never truly leave you, both because they are memorable in their heartbreak and the terrible understanding that these people really lived and died.
Praises: Picking up a memoir about the early days of AIDS is a daunting task. If you are interested in this subject matter, you probably already know a bit about it, and likely none of what you know is happy or good. So I was prepared to cry. A lot. And as much as this book is a story of the horror of that time, it is also a tale of one man’s love for his friends and family, his partner, and his way of life. And that love is what shines through the most in this book. I got the impression that Lynn Curlee just wanted to introduce us to all the awesome people in his world, whom we’ll never get to know in person because they were taken from this earth well before their time. I adored how the book included so many pictures of Curlee’s friends and life, the photos made this sense of knowing possible! How could I be sad in the face of so much love? Ok, I totally was, but in a different, less depressing way than I expected. I also appreciated how Curlee took the time to discuss what the culture was like around this time, both within the gay community and in mainstream society. It provides some context for understanding how the HIV virus was able to spread so effectively at that particular moment in time, and why the response to the crisis was so maddeningly slow. In all, this is a great introduction and objective look into the early years of the AIDS pandemic through the lens of one man’s life.
Critiques: Keep in mind that this is a memoir, not a history book (though it does contain a lot of helpful history). As such, the perspective and focus of the historical events and timelines mentioned within the pages relate primarily to the gay community and how it was affected by and responded to the early AIDS crisis, since the author is a member of that community. For more information on the perspectives of, say, the lesbian or trans communities– or even mainstream society– you’ll want to look elsewhere.
Prose: We learn in the book that the author is also a writer of several children’s books, and it makes sense in that it seems to me that he might have written this book with his usual audience in the back of his mind. That’s not to say that his prose is juvenile, not at all! Rather, it is written in a way that feels appropriate and relatable for everyone, including younger people. I could easily see teenage me picking up this book and getting just as much out of it as I do now.
I received an advance copy of this book from Net Galley.
Check out the full review here: The Hopeless Romanticist
April 11, 2024
The Other Pandemic: An AIDS Memoir was written by Lynn Curlee about what it was like living through the AIDS crisis in NYC and California as a gay man. It was heartbreaking reading what the author had been through and everyone he has lost, it must have been incredibly difficult for him to have survived the 1980's. Curlee writes about the emotions that he felt while also giving a lot of facts about AIDS and the protests that happened due to the US government's negligence.
It's horrifying reading about how little help these men got and how ignorant the majority of the country was, including the Reagan administration. Over 100,000 people died of AIDS throughout the 1980's and the country turned a blind eye due to homophobia, misinformation, and ignorance. Ronald Reagan himself did not publicly acknowledge the AIDS crisis until 1985 when his friend and fellow actor Rock Hudson died of the disease; by the end of 1985, approximately 13,000 people had died of AIDS.
There's been a lot of progress for the LGBTQ+ community since the 1980's and it's amazing to see how far science has come in helping those at risk for HIV. I definitely recommend reading this, especially since it's an easy read as it's targeted towards young adults, and would personally rate this a 4/5.
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It's horrifying reading about how little help these men got and how ignorant the majority of the country was, including the Reagan administration. Over 100,000 people died of AIDS throughout the 1980's and the country turned a blind eye due to homophobia, misinformation, and ignorance. Ronald Reagan himself did not publicly acknowledge the AIDS crisis until 1985 when his friend and fellow actor Rock Hudson died of the disease; by the end of 1985, approximately 13,000 people had died of AIDS.
There's been a lot of progress for the LGBTQ+ community since the 1980's and it's amazing to see how far science has come in helping those at risk for HIV. I definitely recommend reading this, especially since it's an easy read as it's targeted towards young adults, and would personally rate this a 4/5.
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December 20, 2024
(pasted from the caption on my tiktok post reviewing the book)
33.5 million people have died from aids & this is just a handful. what should have been a public health crisis was treated as a political & moral issue. it became known as "the gay cancer" because of the rampant homophobia at the time. i dont know anyone who has suffered from aids or is living with hiv, but the aids crisis is part of my history as a queer person. it is also a part of american history & should be talked about more. i wish i had something more eloquent to say about a tragedy that devastated the Igbt + community, the black community, the latin community, & the continents of america, europe, & africa. but i dont. i was not alive back then, so i cant really do it justice, but i always grew up hearing about it. my mom, despite being cis & heterosexual, always wanted me to have at least somewhat of an education about it. and for that, i will always be thankful. i wish i could have gotten a chance to meet these men & the many others who died from aids, but most importantly, i wish they could have gotten the care they needed & a chance to grow old with the people they loved in a better world. i also wish i could say that life's gotten better, & while some aspects are better, homophobia, transphobia, & racism are not problems that go away easily. people are still struggling, & i hope that we as a generation will stand up like the ones before us who laid the groundwork & their lives so that we could have the freedoms they didn't, & help our peers who are living in a world full of bigotry & extreme hate. "what radacalized you?" my brother in christ, why hasn't anything radacalized YOU?
33.5 million people have died from aids & this is just a handful. what should have been a public health crisis was treated as a political & moral issue. it became known as "the gay cancer" because of the rampant homophobia at the time. i dont know anyone who has suffered from aids or is living with hiv, but the aids crisis is part of my history as a queer person. it is also a part of american history & should be talked about more. i wish i had something more eloquent to say about a tragedy that devastated the Igbt + community, the black community, the latin community, & the continents of america, europe, & africa. but i dont. i was not alive back then, so i cant really do it justice, but i always grew up hearing about it. my mom, despite being cis & heterosexual, always wanted me to have at least somewhat of an education about it. and for that, i will always be thankful. i wish i could have gotten a chance to meet these men & the many others who died from aids, but most importantly, i wish they could have gotten the care they needed & a chance to grow old with the people they loved in a better world. i also wish i could say that life's gotten better, & while some aspects are better, homophobia, transphobia, & racism are not problems that go away easily. people are still struggling, & i hope that we as a generation will stand up like the ones before us who laid the groundwork & their lives so that we could have the freedoms they didn't, & help our peers who are living in a world full of bigotry & extreme hate. "what radacalized you?" my brother in christ, why hasn't anything radacalized YOU?
June 2, 2023
The Other Pandemic by Lynn Curlee, is a beautifully written first hand account of the AIDS pandemic for young and new adults. Curlee talks about the feelings of the early days of the pandemic before anyone in his circle contracted the virus. He details the information and misinformation that flowed through the media. The tension as it circled ever closer to him until members of his chosen family, his circle of friends started getting sick and dying. He lays out the activism, the staying at bed sides, the seeing friends for the last time, all juxtaposed against his life and work and loves.
The Other Pandemic is beautifully written, filled with photos from the author’s life of friends and events witnessed. The stories are concise, with an easy to follow timeline, and uses language that is understandable by a wide range of audience. In the end he compares the ongoing AIDS pandemic with the COVID pandemic as he was living in lock down. It gives the book a powerful ending that makes the AIDS pandemic not only understandable, but more relevant to the younger generations currently coming of age.
The Other Pandemic is beautifully written, filled with photos from the author’s life of friends and events witnessed. The stories are concise, with an easy to follow timeline, and uses language that is understandable by a wide range of audience. In the end he compares the ongoing AIDS pandemic with the COVID pandemic as he was living in lock down. It gives the book a powerful ending that makes the AIDS pandemic not only understandable, but more relevant to the younger generations currently coming of age.
June 8, 2023
This book was part memoir/part history and it explores the AIDS epidemic from the very personal point of view of the author who is gay and a painter. Up until today hadn’t heard of the author or his paintings.
I think this book was ok. If you haven’t read any prior books on the AIDS epidemic period this is a good introductory book but not necessarily the book I would recommend. I couldn’t help to keep comparing it to how to survive a plague and it didn’t measure up.
The author mentions several friends that he had through out his life and how the pandemic shaped and affected all their lives but it was easy to loss sight of who was who or what they did. I could only keep like 3 people in mind. Maybe it would have been more helpful if less people had been referenced and followed along.
Also, as someone that works in the field, this book has stigmatizing/judgmental language that shouldn’t happen nowadays (injection drug users instead of people who inject drugs among other examples, blame promiscuity, etc).
I do appreciate its contributing to history and helping people not forget this awful period that killed million of Americans while the government did nothing,
I think this book was ok. If you haven’t read any prior books on the AIDS epidemic period this is a good introductory book but not necessarily the book I would recommend. I couldn’t help to keep comparing it to how to survive a plague and it didn’t measure up.
The author mentions several friends that he had through out his life and how the pandemic shaped and affected all their lives but it was easy to loss sight of who was who or what they did. I could only keep like 3 people in mind. Maybe it would have been more helpful if less people had been referenced and followed along.
Also, as someone that works in the field, this book has stigmatizing/judgmental language that shouldn’t happen nowadays (injection drug users instead of people who inject drugs among other examples, blame promiscuity, etc).
I do appreciate its contributing to history and helping people not forget this awful period that killed million of Americans while the government did nothing,
March 15, 2023
An extraordinary book - a book particularly focused on the audience of teenagers but should be read by everyone. It is a story of the other pandemic (AIDS) as well as LGBTQ+ history that unfortunately has been largely forgotten and I encounter young people who take for granted the rights they have today and also are not concerned about AIDS. This book is the author's memoir told in a fact-based and personal heart-felt manner. This style is extremely effective at both describing what happened and how it felt in the 1960's growing up gay through the 1980's and early 1990's to present day. History must be taught so rights that earlier generations fought so persistently and courageously for do not get taken away. This is also a very moving story of love and loss -- of friends, lovers, and families. There are personal photos throughout and at the end photos of those the author lost with brief bios -- I could barely read it through my tears. Thank you so much Lynn Curlee for sharing your story with the next generation so we will never forget. I highly recommend this book.
December 2, 2023
This book is so touching. We've been through a horrible pandemic collectively in recent years with COVID-19 but have almost forgotten about the AIDS pandemic which is now considered to be one of the top 5 pandemics in all of human history. There is still no vaccine to prevent it not cure if a persons gets it.
This book is also a reminder of the human toll AIDS took on whole populations of people who lost personal friends to the disease. The author stopped counting at 41. Can you imagine what it must have been like to lose friend after friend after friend to death in the span of just a few years?
This book would be an excellent book to pair with The Great BelieversThe Great Believers which is also about this same theme -- the AIDS pandemic from the viewpoint of people left behind. That books compares the experience of living through so many deaths as what the survivors of WWI went through after the end of that war.
This book is also a reminder of the human toll AIDS took on whole populations of people who lost personal friends to the disease. The author stopped counting at 41. Can you imagine what it must have been like to lose friend after friend after friend to death in the span of just a few years?
This book would be an excellent book to pair with The Great BelieversThe Great Believers which is also about this same theme -- the AIDS pandemic from the viewpoint of people left behind. That books compares the experience of living through so many deaths as what the survivors of WWI went through after the end of that war.
May 4, 2024
This was alright. This felt more like a documentation of Curlee and his relationships than a documentation of the AIDs pandemic. I expected from the title that this would be talking about the pandemic. I mean, it is called The Other Pandemic: An AIDS Memoir, so it should be about the pandemic itself. It talked some about AIDS and I learned from the book a bit. I did enjoy the writing; it made me feel like the author and the pandemic were more humanized. I liked that very much, because everyone seems to talk about AIDS as something that isn't really affecting people. Now there were some issues.
I did find that the talking about trans people to be lacking, even when they were talking about the Stonewall Riots. There were only a few mentions of bi men, and that meant that bi people, who were affected by AIDS as well. That lack of talk about them was problematic, because these two important parts of the queer community affected by AIDS were barely mentioned.
- Echo (they/xe) ⚧️
I did find that the talking about trans people to be lacking, even when they were talking about the Stonewall Riots. There were only a few mentions of bi men, and that meant that bi people, who were affected by AIDS as well. That lack of talk about them was problematic, because these two important parts of the queer community affected by AIDS were barely mentioned.
- Echo (they/xe) ⚧️
May 23, 2023
This memoir opens with using the recent COVID-19 pandemic to introduce young adult readers to the AIDS pandemic before diving into the Curlee's memoir. It is an effective opening because, as it addresses the difference in the two pandemics, it establishes that many things in the memoir will be different, too -- how people grew up, how gay people were seen and treated, how technology and access to information were more limited. The narrative voice used throughout is reflective, but also guides younger readers less familiar with the history of this pandemic through major ideas and events. The book features an excellent bibliography in addition to photographs and the author's primary experiences. This book would make an excellent addition to school or public libraries, as well as personal ones.
April 24, 2024
Just the facts, mamma. ? A lot more than the facts, actually, but those too. Actually a personal history of the early AIDS years and the ineffective response to it that left scores of young men vulnerable. Gives names and faces to the thought of the faceless many who died in the 1980's and onward. A life partner, A dear friend, An entire peer group, so very many funerals and losses.
Powerful in its straight forward presentation. The memories of happy times. The shadow of confusion and fear and disease, without treatment for years. The ages of lost friends - 34? 43? What disease takes down the healthy and the fit in the prime of life?
( As a reader, It is hard to reflect, knowing that so many could have been saved if compassion and justice had prevailed earlier in the emergency. )
It is a hard story, with fond memories bravely shared. Well done.
Powerful in its straight forward presentation. The memories of happy times. The shadow of confusion and fear and disease, without treatment for years. The ages of lost friends - 34? 43? What disease takes down the healthy and the fit in the prime of life?
( As a reader, It is hard to reflect, knowing that so many could have been saved if compassion and justice had prevailed earlier in the emergency. )
It is a hard story, with fond memories bravely shared. Well done.
April 2, 2023
This was a very powerful memoir of the author's personal account of the AIDS crisis. This book includes photographs, memorial pages, art, and historical highlights that help paint a broad and personalized picture of the crisis. I think this book does a beautiful job of honoring the people he lost during that time as well. For such a short book, he makes a point to tell us about each person before they became sick.
I will say the beginning of this book was a bit off for me. When the author talks about growing up in the sixties with segregation and the Vietnam War, I was a bit confused as to what audience this book was written for. When I later found out this author had written mainly children's books, it made sense that the beginning felt a bit like I was being spoken down to.
I will say the beginning of this book was a bit off for me. When the author talks about growing up in the sixties with segregation and the Vietnam War, I was a bit confused as to what audience this book was written for. When I later found out this author had written mainly children's books, it made sense that the beginning felt a bit like I was being spoken down to.
July 16, 2023
A powerful personal account of the onset of the AIDS crisis, as seen through the eyes and experiences of one of its survivors, artist and author Lynn Curlee, that also draws comparisons with the COVID-19 pandemic.
Curlee's deeply affecting first-person testimony of the emergence of the AIDS epidemic and its horrific consequences is an incredibly valuable slice of history from someone who was part of the community and saw the terrible toll the disease took on his friends and lovers.
In parallel with the Covid-19 pandemic, government inaction allows the situation to escalate with devastating consequences - decades later we clearly had learnt nothing and our government's priorities still had very little to do with "we the people". In parallel with Covid, fear and disinformation abounds, communities are blamed and ostracised, and lives are lost due to inaction.
An important read, and a time in history that we still have a lot to learn from.
Curlee's deeply affecting first-person testimony of the emergence of the AIDS epidemic and its horrific consequences is an incredibly valuable slice of history from someone who was part of the community and saw the terrible toll the disease took on his friends and lovers.
In parallel with the Covid-19 pandemic, government inaction allows the situation to escalate with devastating consequences - decades later we clearly had learnt nothing and our government's priorities still had very little to do with "we the people". In parallel with Covid, fear and disinformation abounds, communities are blamed and ostracised, and lives are lost due to inaction.
An important read, and a time in history that we still have a lot to learn from.
February 5, 2024
this is for young adults so i can’t fault it too much for being very absolutely written for young adults. that being said, it was informative and moving (mostly bc of how horrific the AIDS epidemic was during this time, less bc of the writing tbh).
BUT i almost put the whole the down at the first mention of stonewall bc how are you not even going to mention trans women????! and to not mention trans people at all throughout the entirety of the book until the very end as an afterthought is NUTS to me idk it sort of ruined the whole thing for me bc i was reading it through the lens of ‘this author is leaving trans women out of history that they were very much a part of’ 🤷♀️
BUT i almost put the whole the down at the first mention of stonewall bc how are you not even going to mention trans women????! and to not mention trans people at all throughout the entirety of the book until the very end as an afterthought is NUTS to me idk it sort of ruined the whole thing for me bc i was reading it through the lens of ‘this author is leaving trans women out of history that they were very much a part of’ 🤷♀️
June 13, 2023
This book is undoubtably an extremely hard memoir to have done and I commend the author for telling it and honoring all of those people he knew that died during the height of the AIDS epidemic, while also acknowledging his and his partners privilege for much of it. I did find the storytelling aspect of the novel a bit bland and matter of fact, this may have been due to the amount of extreme trauma and distress losing so many close friends leaves. Either way, I still think this is an important part of history that needs to be talked about and told as much as possible. The biggest downfall of this book is there was very little compare and contrast to COVID pandemic which was more implied by the title of the book but what was there was well said.
August 18, 2023
Three stars because I struggled through it, but this is a solid, important book that should be in every library serving teens. It's a straightforward narrative of the author’s life as a gay man during the 70’s-90’s, when a strange new disease began killing his friends. I had a hard time keeping track of all the names, and Curlee's prose struck me as rather plodding. But these things are countered by his honesty and the wealth of information he provides. Black and white and color photos, selected bibliography, source notes, index.
September 10, 2023
This is one of those books that feels so difficult to review because, while I found it fascinating, it was a very difficult and sad read, but sometimes those are the most important books. I can see this becoming a staple of uni modules on intersectionality alongside the likes of Bersani’s Is The Rectum a Grave?
Right now, in the wake of COVID, this feels like such an important text on intersectionality and the ways governments will happily throw marginalised groups under the bus as collateral damage, whether that be queer people or disabled people.
Right now, in the wake of COVID, this feels like such an important text on intersectionality and the ways governments will happily throw marginalised groups under the bus as collateral damage, whether that be queer people or disabled people.
March 6, 2023
Very good book at a man that dealt with AIDS via his friends and/or lovers. I thought the author was very honest and gave it to you straight. This book is an eye-opener on what people deal with either having or knowing someone with this disease. Thanks to Netgalley, the author and the publisher for the ARC of this book in return for my honest review. Receiving the book in this manner had no bearing on this review.
September 16, 2024
My heart was wrenched from my chest and thrown to the ground, but boy was it worth it. My eyes were opened to so many things that happened to the generations before me. It broke my heart but in such a necessary way. Anyone who has experienced negative effects from the Covid pandemic needs to read this book and see others perspectives on another tragic event in history.
August 16, 2023
Touching to read about his really lovely friendships
September 4, 2023
Powerful memoir of living through the AIDS crisis. Moving all together.
November 29, 2023
Could not put down this man’s story of living through the AIDS pandemic of the 80s! So glad it exists for teenaged readers.
February 7, 2024
Great book. Didn’t know it was geared towards young people, but still a good and thoughtful read.
July 27, 2025
Hard to read but a necessary personal history for people who weren’t around to know the fear and horrors AIDS brought.
It wasn’t really that long ago, and there still is no vaccine, and no cure.
It wasn’t really that long ago, and there still is no vaccine, and no cure.
April 25, 2023
The use of Covid-19 as a framing device - a way to make this story more real or more accessible to younger audiences - was such a smart choice for this memoir. The book is a good bird’s eye view of the epidemic for younger audiences while being a poignant account of a very personal relationship. I do think it glossed over a lot of the much uglier, grittier realities of the AIDS epidemic - but that could also be my own difficulty putting aside my prior knowledge since AIDS activist art is my research area of study.
I did appreciate that the author often acknowledges that he, his partner, his loved ones, friends, etc. did have access to a lot of resources that so many did not have during that time. At one point he mentions that the epidemic “didn’t seem to effect [their] daily lives,” and that kind of statement could come off a little callous if it wasn’t couched in those acknowledgments.
One of my only real criticisms of the book is that it seems like the author does dance a few times with a bit of a sec shaming view of the epidemic. It isn’t a pervasive theme by any stretch of the imagination, but just left a little bit of a bad taste in my mouth.
Overall, this was a very touching memoir written in a very accessible way for younger audiences who may not have any real grasp of how far-reaching the AIDS epidemic was in the gay community.
Advanced copy of this book received via NetGalley.
I did appreciate that the author often acknowledges that he, his partner, his loved ones, friends, etc. did have access to a lot of resources that so many did not have during that time. At one point he mentions that the epidemic “didn’t seem to effect [their] daily lives,” and that kind of statement could come off a little callous if it wasn’t couched in those acknowledgments.
One of my only real criticisms of the book is that it seems like the author does dance a few times with a bit of a sec shaming view of the epidemic. It isn’t a pervasive theme by any stretch of the imagination, but just left a little bit of a bad taste in my mouth.
Overall, this was a very touching memoir written in a very accessible way for younger audiences who may not have any real grasp of how far-reaching the AIDS epidemic was in the gay community.
Advanced copy of this book received via NetGalley.
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