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How Stella Got Her Groove Back
How Stella Got Her Groove Back is full of Terry McMillan's signature humor, heart, and insight. More than a love story, it is ultimately a novel about how a woman saves her own life--and what she must risk to do it.
Stella Payne is forty-two, divorced, a high-powered investment analyst, mother of eleven-year-old Quincy- and she does it all. In fact, if she doesn't do it, it doesn't get done, from Little League carpool duty to analyzing portfolios to folding the laundry and bringing home the bacon. She does it all well, too, if her chic house, personal trainer, BMW, and her loving son are any indication. So what if there's been no one to share her bed with lately, let alone rock her world? Stella doesn't mind it too much; she probably wouldn't have the energy for love--and all of love's nasty fallout--anyway.
But when Stella takes a spur-of-the-moment vacation to Jamaica, her world gets rocked to the core--not just by the relaxing effects of the sun and sea and an island full of attractive men, but by one man in particular. He's tall, lean, soft-spoken, Jamaican, smells of citrus and the ocean--and is half her age. The tropics have cast their spell and Stella soon realizes she has come to a cataclysmic juncture: not only must she confront her hopes and fears about love, she must question all of her expectations, passions, and ideas about life and the way she has lived it.
Stella Payne is forty-two, divorced, a high-powered investment analyst, mother of eleven-year-old Quincy- and she does it all. In fact, if she doesn't do it, it doesn't get done, from Little League carpool duty to analyzing portfolios to folding the laundry and bringing home the bacon. She does it all well, too, if her chic house, personal trainer, BMW, and her loving son are any indication. So what if there's been no one to share her bed with lately, let alone rock her world? Stella doesn't mind it too much; she probably wouldn't have the energy for love--and all of love's nasty fallout--anyway.
But when Stella takes a spur-of-the-moment vacation to Jamaica, her world gets rocked to the core--not just by the relaxing effects of the sun and sea and an island full of attractive men, but by one man in particular. He's tall, lean, soft-spoken, Jamaican, smells of citrus and the ocean--and is half her age. The tropics have cast their spell and Stella soon realizes she has come to a cataclysmic juncture: not only must she confront her hopes and fears about love, she must question all of her expectations, passions, and ideas about life and the way she has lived it.
401 pages, Paperback
Published January 6, 2004
184 people are currently reading
4487 people want to read
About the author
Terry McMillan
47 books3,493 followersTerry McMillan is an African-American author. Her interest in books comes from working at a library when she was fourteen. She received her BA in journalism in 1986 from the University of California at Berkeley and the MFA Film Program at Columbia University. Her work is characterized by strong female protagonists.
Her first book, Mama, was self-promoted. She achieved national attention in 1992 with her third novel, Waiting to Exhale, which remained on The New York Times bestseller list for many months. Forest Whitaker turned it into a film in 1995. In 1998, another of McMillan's novels, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, was made into a movie. McMillan's novel Disappearing Acts was subsequently produced as a direct-to-cable feature.
Her last novel, Who Asked You?, casts an intimate look at the burdens and blessings of family and speaks to trusting your own judgment even when others don’t agree.
Her first book, Mama, was self-promoted. She achieved national attention in 1992 with her third novel, Waiting to Exhale, which remained on The New York Times bestseller list for many months. Forest Whitaker turned it into a film in 1995. In 1998, another of McMillan's novels, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, was made into a movie. McMillan's novel Disappearing Acts was subsequently produced as a direct-to-cable feature.
Her last novel, Who Asked You?, casts an intimate look at the burdens and blessings of family and speaks to trusting your own judgment even when others don’t agree.
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November 14, 2025adding this for title alone
December 28, 2024
The style in which this book was written caused a major headache...
Save yourself...watch the movie
Save yourself...watch the movie
January 4, 2015
I ordered How Stella Got Her Groove Back from Amazon during one of their closeout sales. I love picking up hardcovers on the cheap, and had really enjoyed Waiting to Exhale and figured that I couldn't go wrong.
Yeah, right. I'm trying to determine if I am more disappointed because this is the first entire book I was able to read since my daughter was born, or because it seems like Terry McMillan tossed this one off merely to make money off the publicity for Waiting to Exhale.
::: Losing Her Groove :::
If you've read McMillan before, you know that she tends to write in very long streams of character "thoughts" but How Stella Got Her Groove Back really is over the top. The majority of the book is Stella's own stream of consciousness self-debate, and to be honest, the character is so thinly drawn that you just don't CARE what she's thinking.
When we first meet Stella, she is on vacation from work, and her young son is spending time with his father, from whom Stella is divorced. Stella decides to try to breathe some excitement back into her life, so she takes a spur-of-the-moment trip to Jamaica, where she meets up with and becomes involved with 20-year-old chef-apprentice Winston. (Who is played in the movie version by the yummy Taye Diggs!)
When Stella returns from Jamaica, she finds that her life is not as she had left it, due to events that took place while she was away, as well as because of the impact of her new relationship with a man less than half her age. From here, the book deteriorates, although the first signs that this book was heading south were evident in a page-and-a-half long section where Stella is thinking about McMillan's own Waiting to Exhale while deciding which book to read in Jamaica. Too coy for words, that section sets the tone for the reader that McMillan knows that YOU know who she is, and you get the feeling she wants you to accept the book just because she wrote it.
::: Paling in Comparison :::
From the moment Stella returns from Jamaica, you get the feeling that McMillan ended the book when Stella got on the plane home and just needs to fill up a few hundred more pages to please her editor. What's worse is that there was such GREAT possibility here to explore the concept of a middle-aged woman looking for a new direction in life. Unfortunately, the only directions McMillan gives Stella relate to finding happiness in a man. Where Waiting to Exhale was a detailed study of women that used their relationships with men to view their internal compasses, How Stella Got Her Groove Back was a surface level story that didn't quite succeed at reversing the usual stereotype of older man and young, comely woman.
This review originally published on Epinions: http://www.epinions.com/review/How_St...
Yeah, right. I'm trying to determine if I am more disappointed because this is the first entire book I was able to read since my daughter was born, or because it seems like Terry McMillan tossed this one off merely to make money off the publicity for Waiting to Exhale.
::: Losing Her Groove :::
If you've read McMillan before, you know that she tends to write in very long streams of character "thoughts" but How Stella Got Her Groove Back really is over the top. The majority of the book is Stella's own stream of consciousness self-debate, and to be honest, the character is so thinly drawn that you just don't CARE what she's thinking.
When we first meet Stella, she is on vacation from work, and her young son is spending time with his father, from whom Stella is divorced. Stella decides to try to breathe some excitement back into her life, so she takes a spur-of-the-moment trip to Jamaica, where she meets up with and becomes involved with 20-year-old chef-apprentice Winston. (Who is played in the movie version by the yummy Taye Diggs!)
When Stella returns from Jamaica, she finds that her life is not as she had left it, due to events that took place while she was away, as well as because of the impact of her new relationship with a man less than half her age. From here, the book deteriorates, although the first signs that this book was heading south were evident in a page-and-a-half long section where Stella is thinking about McMillan's own Waiting to Exhale while deciding which book to read in Jamaica. Too coy for words, that section sets the tone for the reader that McMillan knows that YOU know who she is, and you get the feeling she wants you to accept the book just because she wrote it.
::: Paling in Comparison :::
From the moment Stella returns from Jamaica, you get the feeling that McMillan ended the book when Stella got on the plane home and just needs to fill up a few hundred more pages to please her editor. What's worse is that there was such GREAT possibility here to explore the concept of a middle-aged woman looking for a new direction in life. Unfortunately, the only directions McMillan gives Stella relate to finding happiness in a man. Where Waiting to Exhale was a detailed study of women that used their relationships with men to view their internal compasses, How Stella Got Her Groove Back was a surface level story that didn't quite succeed at reversing the usual stereotype of older man and young, comely woman.
This review originally published on Epinions: http://www.epinions.com/review/How_St...
December 6, 2008
Another vacation read. And no, I didn't see the movie. My first, most pleasant surprise was that Terry McMillan actually has a "voice". Granted, it has a lot to do with run-on sentences, but I guess because the book/movie was so popular I didn't think the author would actually be able to write. But she can, well enough. Good for you, Terry McMillan. And l liked Stella, a lot. She's a sympathetic character, she knows herself, she's an individual, and she's built herself a great life. Although, she is very hung up on her body's smells and douches/sprays her lady parts pretty frequently, even though she "knows" it's nothing but bad news. [Ladies - I canNOT endorse Stella's douching habit! I know it's only fiction, but it's SO bad for us and SO unnecessary! And now back to your regularly scheduled programming.] So Stella's journey (literal and metaphorical) is an engrossing one, and one that I enjoyed tagging along on, even if she does turn into a mooney-eyed teenager at the end. And one funny thing about being a former travel agent and having been to Negril is that I was able to identify the resort Stella's staying at when she first meets Winston, the resort she takes the kids to when they go back to visit, and the resort where Winston gets his new job. Also, Rick's Café is a real place that actually exists.
We who have labeled ourselves Ms. Fucking Perfect Personified have not caught on yet that our perfection is merely a figment of our very own distorted imagination and I should know because I'm in that forty-and-over club for Emotional Subversives in Denial About Everything.
I mean African men scare me because I've heard how like if you kiss them once and do the nasty besides they want to marry you and then expect you to stay in the kitchen and cook and clean and to be a passive obedient child like all those Japanese and Chinese and Muslim women and they want you to have baby after baby (except for in China of course) but a lot of the women in Africa don't even have a clitoris thanks to the men who are the ones who get to enjoy sex with as many women as they can squeeze in and I'll be glad when these women get hip and just say no you are not cutting off my daughter's clitoris and if you touch her I'll cut your penis off how about that for a change of pace or they should go get their bachelor's and master's and get a job--no, a career--and have a nanny and a housekeeper to clean the house and then they should rip off all those garments and those hot-ass veils and just let their hair down because what does all this really have to do with religion when you think about it?
Yeah, Stella's not afraid to get political, which I appreciate. Although if reading that all as one sentence made you want to tear your eyeballs out, this is NOT the book for you.
And one last thing - it was very funny reading this knowing that McMillan's marriage to her own Winston ended because he was gay. There are some jealousy issues with Winston's (gay) roommate at the resort where Stella and Winston meet that were a little like, Ooh, foreshadowing, not that I think McMillan had any idea about all that when she was writing the book.
We who have labeled ourselves Ms. Fucking Perfect Personified have not caught on yet that our perfection is merely a figment of our very own distorted imagination and I should know because I'm in that forty-and-over club for Emotional Subversives in Denial About Everything.
I mean African men scare me because I've heard how like if you kiss them once and do the nasty besides they want to marry you and then expect you to stay in the kitchen and cook and clean and to be a passive obedient child like all those Japanese and Chinese and Muslim women and they want you to have baby after baby (except for in China of course) but a lot of the women in Africa don't even have a clitoris thanks to the men who are the ones who get to enjoy sex with as many women as they can squeeze in and I'll be glad when these women get hip and just say no you are not cutting off my daughter's clitoris and if you touch her I'll cut your penis off how about that for a change of pace or they should go get their bachelor's and master's and get a job--no, a career--and have a nanny and a housekeeper to clean the house and then they should rip off all those garments and those hot-ass veils and just let their hair down because what does all this really have to do with religion when you think about it?
Yeah, Stella's not afraid to get political, which I appreciate. Although if reading that all as one sentence made you want to tear your eyeballs out, this is NOT the book for you.
And one last thing - it was very funny reading this knowing that McMillan's marriage to her own Winston ended because he was gay. There are some jealousy issues with Winston's (gay) roommate at the resort where Stella and Winston meet that were a little like, Ooh, foreshadowing, not that I think McMillan had any idea about all that when she was writing the book.
May 22, 2023
I first read How Stella Got Her Groove Back back in 1999/2000 (I was basically a baby), but I loved this book, told everyone about this book…gave it 5 stars! May 2023 (40 years old), I re-read Stella and I was soooooo disappointed. The lack of punctuation, the rambling, repetitive, immature thoughts. It was tough rereading.
January 25, 2011
Retroactive rating based on memories of more than a decade ago: I spent a week reading this when it came out in the summer of 1996 because my friend Julie told me to. This is notable because I was the only 15-year-old suburban white male in the world who spent a week in the summer of 1996 reading How Stella Got Her Groove Back.
I kept thinking that Terry McMillan's recent sequel to Waiting to Exhale was actually a sequel to this book, which sounded like a bad idea to me, since this one is pretty much based on the author's life and the Jamaican dreamboat that gave Stella her groove back subsequently reclaimed said groove by admitting that he's gay and married her for a green card, and How Stella Sued Her Former Husband for $40 Million for an Intentional Strategy to Embarrass and Humiliate Her During Divorce Proceedings didn't sound as sassy or romantic.
I kept thinking that Terry McMillan's recent sequel to Waiting to Exhale was actually a sequel to this book, which sounded like a bad idea to me, since this one is pretty much based on the author's life and the Jamaican dreamboat that gave Stella her groove back subsequently reclaimed said groove by admitting that he's gay and married her for a green card, and How Stella Sued Her Former Husband for $40 Million for an Intentional Strategy to Embarrass and Humiliate Her During Divorce Proceedings didn't sound as sassy or romantic.
June 13, 2016
I'm not going to force myself to finish this book. I am biting the bullet on this one. I can't handle the continuous run-on sentence ramblings that is this narrative. Oh well.
January 8, 2009
More Than A Love Story
Terry McMillan writes more than a love story here. We meet Stella a 42 year old high powered African American woman whose been divorced 3 years and has an adorable 11 year old son Quincy. All Stella's life is about is being a dedicated mother and career woman, that changes when she's fired. Quincy goes to visit dad and Stella and her "FRIEND" decide she needs sometime for herself to do something fun. The very rich details about her 9 day trip to Jamaica make you feel as if you're lying right next to her. She meets Winston, a 20 year old chef's assistant who keeps Stella weak literally! Stella is steadily questioning the weight of this escapade that leaves the island and follows her back to her home where her life that she was use to is now being challenged. I loved the relationship that Stella and her son Quincy share it's very open and relaxed.
Terry McMillan writes more than a love story here. We meet Stella a 42 year old high powered African American woman whose been divorced 3 years and has an adorable 11 year old son Quincy. All Stella's life is about is being a dedicated mother and career woman, that changes when she's fired. Quincy goes to visit dad and Stella and her "FRIEND" decide she needs sometime for herself to do something fun. The very rich details about her 9 day trip to Jamaica make you feel as if you're lying right next to her. She meets Winston, a 20 year old chef's assistant who keeps Stella weak literally! Stella is steadily questioning the weight of this escapade that leaves the island and follows her back to her home where her life that she was use to is now being challenged. I loved the relationship that Stella and her son Quincy share it's very open and relaxed.
September 21, 2009
I see the goodreads describes McMillan's writing as "empowering". What a joke, every book she writes is basically about how women are woefully incomplete without a man.
Empowering? Try co-dependent and pathetic!
Empowering? Try co-dependent and pathetic!
February 3, 2018
Several days ago a website shamed readers that we are only reading books by White males. That was a challenge. And it is Black History Month, so,…. Looking back on the 48 books completed last year on my Goodreads account, I found I had read 18 written by White women. Most of the rest by White men, some old dead White men to make matters worse, as implied by the article.
Shamed by the article, I pulled out my copy of “Stella” that I had just picked up a few weeks earlier and started to read to get my non-White quotient in and reduce the “shame.” OK, so I don’t feel shame, more like a little suggestion that I ought to broaden my horizons a bit, in this case in the world of well-off African-American women.. So what did I learn?
I learned very little that is new on how African Americans are different than European-Americans. Aside from many speech mannerisms and perhaps a few attitudes, if this book is any picture into the lives of Black Americans, upper middle class in this case, they are just similar to White Americans. They like to drive nice cars, live in nice houses, love their families, have the “usual” marital problems and deal with them in the “usual” ways, have the “usual” pets – dogs, cats and fish – and their kids like to fish. And they like sex among adults – nothing much different here. And in the case of this book, at least one African-American author is concerned, they write in places in “stream of consciousness” like James Joyce and Gertrude Stein. The book makes clear that lifestyles of the two groups differ little – they are not like different countries at all. No surprise there, nor should there be.
The book is largely a fictionalized autobiography, retelling a story of how the author met a very attractive, sexy young man in Jamaica while on vacation and what happens after that. It is amusing and instructive concerning high-end resorts in Jamaica – places well above my ability to pay.
I enjoyed the book with several caveats. It was too long. Her son, Quincy, is really too good for words. I can’t imagine an unemployed person with her “don’t worry” attitude.
Maybe I should have picked a book more thought to be classis, like “Beloved,” or “The Color Purple.” I read Maya Angelou’s “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” years ago which was more illuminating concerning the position of African-Americans back “in the day,” and well-written. Ah, well. On to placing these on my “To Read” list.
Shamed by the article, I pulled out my copy of “Stella” that I had just picked up a few weeks earlier and started to read to get my non-White quotient in and reduce the “shame.” OK, so I don’t feel shame, more like a little suggestion that I ought to broaden my horizons a bit, in this case in the world of well-off African-American women.. So what did I learn?
I learned very little that is new on how African Americans are different than European-Americans. Aside from many speech mannerisms and perhaps a few attitudes, if this book is any picture into the lives of Black Americans, upper middle class in this case, they are just similar to White Americans. They like to drive nice cars, live in nice houses, love their families, have the “usual” marital problems and deal with them in the “usual” ways, have the “usual” pets – dogs, cats and fish – and their kids like to fish. And they like sex among adults – nothing much different here. And in the case of this book, at least one African-American author is concerned, they write in places in “stream of consciousness” like James Joyce and Gertrude Stein. The book makes clear that lifestyles of the two groups differ little – they are not like different countries at all. No surprise there, nor should there be.
The book is largely a fictionalized autobiography, retelling a story of how the author met a very attractive, sexy young man in Jamaica while on vacation and what happens after that. It is amusing and instructive concerning high-end resorts in Jamaica – places well above my ability to pay.
I enjoyed the book with several caveats. It was too long. Her son, Quincy, is really too good for words. I can’t imagine an unemployed person with her “don’t worry” attitude.
Maybe I should have picked a book more thought to be classis, like “Beloved,” or “The Color Purple.” I read Maya Angelou’s “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” years ago which was more illuminating concerning the position of African-Americans back “in the day,” and well-written. Ah, well. On to placing these on my “To Read” list.
November 10, 2014
!!!!!!!Don't pick up "Stella" expecting something serious and deep. Read it for what it is - a fun romance that's light and airy and meant to take you and your mind into a world away from today's every day grind.
THIS BOOK REALLY HAD ME WIDE OPEN I LOVED THIS BOOK I HAPPENED TO WATCH THE MOVIE WHEN I WAS REALLY YOUNG ON UPN THEN WHEN I GOT OLDER I REALIZED MY SCHOOL LIBRARY HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH COPIES OF THIS PARTICULAR BOOK. SO WITHOUT HESITATION I READ THIS BOOK. I MUST ADMIT TERRY MCMILLAN BOOKS HAVE BEEN FAR BEYOND MY AGE - BUT I DID NOT MIND THAT AT ALL BECAUSE MOST OF HER BOOKS ARE REALLY GREAT. WHILE READING THE JOURNEY OF STELLA I LONGED & CRAVED TO BE HER BECAUSE I HAVE YET TO EXPERIENCE A REAL LONG GREAT LOVE. I REALLY FEEL IN LOVE WITH STELLA BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW MANY PEOPLE CRITICIZED HER FOR DATING A YOUNG MAN - AT FIRST SHE WAS KIND OF HESITANT BUT THEN QUICKLY STOP CARING WHAT PEOPLE THINK & DECIDES TO JUST ENJOY HER LIFE & RELATIONSHIP READING THIS BOOK MADE ME REALIZE SO MUCH WAS LEFT OUT OF THE MOVIE :( ****SIDENOTE I HATE WHEN BOOKS ARE MADE INTO MOVIES ; BECAUSE I TEND TO FEEL SO CHEATED :-( ****
THIS BOOK REALLY HAD ME WIDE OPEN I LOVED THIS BOOK I HAPPENED TO WATCH THE MOVIE WHEN I WAS REALLY YOUNG ON UPN THEN WHEN I GOT OLDER I REALIZED MY SCHOOL LIBRARY HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH COPIES OF THIS PARTICULAR BOOK. SO WITHOUT HESITATION I READ THIS BOOK. I MUST ADMIT TERRY MCMILLAN BOOKS HAVE BEEN FAR BEYOND MY AGE - BUT I DID NOT MIND THAT AT ALL BECAUSE MOST OF HER BOOKS ARE REALLY GREAT. WHILE READING THE JOURNEY OF STELLA I LONGED & CRAVED TO BE HER BECAUSE I HAVE YET TO EXPERIENCE A REAL LONG GREAT LOVE. I REALLY FEEL IN LOVE WITH STELLA BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW MANY PEOPLE CRITICIZED HER FOR DATING A YOUNG MAN - AT FIRST SHE WAS KIND OF HESITANT BUT THEN QUICKLY STOP CARING WHAT PEOPLE THINK & DECIDES TO JUST ENJOY HER LIFE & RELATIONSHIP READING THIS BOOK MADE ME REALIZE SO MUCH WAS LEFT OUT OF THE MOVIE :( ****SIDENOTE I HATE WHEN BOOKS ARE MADE INTO MOVIES ; BECAUSE I TEND TO FEEL SO CHEATED :-( ****
July 2, 2015
I tried to read this book, but I just couldn't. The punctuation is atrocious! The author does not use commas and other punctuation. She also does not know how to make paragraphs and sentences. I realize that she was probably going for "stream of consciousness" (ex... Virginia Woolf) but she did not seem to really "get" it. I do not recommend this book and am disappointed that I wasted my money buying this book. :(
October 30, 2023
OMG...when a woman's had enough, ain't nothing you can do about it. Stella is faithful, a good mother and wife. Yet when she finds out her husband is cheating, fireworks explode and so does Stella. But through it all, she meets a young man while on vacation and their romance becomes quite heated in spite of their age difference.
Stella has become a strong cougar!
Stella has become a strong cougar!
June 1, 2013
Stella may have got her groove back but this book stalled cold in a rut. Her groove was a shallow as herself as this character lacked depth, dimension, and was void of any interesting characteristics or behaviours. There were many references to brand-name objects; so much so that at times I wondered if she had indeed been sponsored by Sony and various other major corporations.
The 'stream of consciousness' style of writing was okay but did tend to get a little annoying about half way through this book mostly because nothing interesting was occurring. Stella's preoccupation with material things and herself caused me to lose MY groove and question why I was continuing to read such an empty boring book.
Her infatuation with a man much younger than herself lacked intrigue, romance, or even sexual tension. The real love affair was between Stella and herself and her frequently mentioned possesions.
The 'stream of consciousness' style of writing was okay but did tend to get a little annoying about half way through this book mostly because nothing interesting was occurring. Stella's preoccupation with material things and herself caused me to lose MY groove and question why I was continuing to read such an empty boring book.
Her infatuation with a man much younger than herself lacked intrigue, romance, or even sexual tension. The real love affair was between Stella and herself and her frequently mentioned possesions.
February 2, 2023
Favorite Quote: “We both squeeze each other as if we have been looking for each other for a long time and when we rest our heads against each other’s wet skin the only thing I think we understand is that this is where we’ve always wanted to be and now we are here.”~ Stella
Stella has as lot on her mind and overworked as can be. As many women she has the weight of the world on her shoulders and doesn’t understand she has to stop the world for herself or she will lose her mind. Written in her literal pov it brings so much comfort in the way Terry writes because as a Black Woman myself I feel a lot if these same thoughts. Stella finally takes a moment for herself in Jamaica and then her whole world turns upside down but it just might be for the better.
Stella has as lot on her mind and overworked as can be. As many women she has the weight of the world on her shoulders and doesn’t understand she has to stop the world for herself or she will lose her mind. Written in her literal pov it brings so much comfort in the way Terry writes because as a Black Woman myself I feel a lot if these same thoughts. Stella finally takes a moment for herself in Jamaica and then her whole world turns upside down but it just might be for the better.
January 26, 2023
I absolutely loved the movie and have been meaning to read this for awhile now. It was beautifully written and the stream of consciousness really added to the character development. It did feel overwhelming at times, but that’s what it feels like when you’re overthinking all the time so it was to be expected and accepted. I look forward to reading her other books as soon as possible!
July 28, 2018
I'm looking forward to watching the movie because there's no way it can be worse than the book. Terry McMillan really enjoys her inner character monologues and that means the reader has to endure page-length run-on sentences with little to no commas, questionable grammar, and rants from the character that can only be the author voicing her own personal opinion through Stella.
I am going to review this book by sharing quote excerpts. I am warning you that this is going to be a long review. These quotes are lengthy due to the writing style of the author and I have copied them exactly as they appear in the book.
Let's get started. I will add my commentary in bold for each quote.
The author reviews one of her books, in her own book:
“I pick up the hardcover version of Waiting to Exhale by Terry McMillan which I bought when it first came out and I’ve been meaning to read for a couple of years now and after reading like the first fifty or sixty pages I don’t know what all the hoopla is about and why everybody thinks she’s such a hot writer because her shit is kind of weak when you get right down to it and this book here has absolutely no literary merit whatsoever at least none that I can see and she uses entirely too much profanity. Hell, I could write the same stuff she writes cause she doesn’t exactly have what you’d call a style but anyway I can sort of relate to some of her characters even though the main reason I didn’t read this book was because from what I heard a couple of these women sounded too much like me although I’m not as stupid as a few of them."
Stella has an unhealthy obsession with vaginal smells:
“At home I go through a can of Shower Fresh FDS in a few weeks because I cannot stand the way I smell down there when I perspire, the reason why, I understand, more men don’t go down on women. Lord knows I wouldn’t which is another reason why I douche at least twice sometimes even three times a month depending on how much attention I’m getting and I don’t care what those gynecologists say about using up good bacteria and increasing your risks for infection because if that’s true then why do women’s bathrooms always smell like old fish? I’ll be glad when somebody invents a twenty-five-cent douche or feminine wipes dispenser and puts them in all women’s public restrooms and an automatic Lysol atomizer wouldn’t hurt. I also have my little disposable cleansing wipes which I keep in my purse so that when I’m out and using the ladies’ room I won’t have to worry about adding to the smell.”
Stella playing volleyball combats sexism:
“I play hard and well. The members of the other team who weren’t here the last time I played, are automatically assuming that because I’m a woman I’m going to play like one is supposed to play and I guess a woman isn’t supposed to be strong or athletically inclined however athletic she may look, so they do not expect me to serve or hit the ball as consistently as I do. They probably thought the first couple of times were a fluke but when our team kicks their butt thanks to a few of my very own Monica Seles-like serves, a major statement is made and I think registers clearly on their little weenies.”
Stella’s views on African men:
“I mean African men scare me because I’ve heard how like if you kiss them once and do the nasty besides they want to marry you and then expect you to stay in the kitchen and cook and clean and to be a passive obedient child like all those Japanese and Chinese and Muslim women and they want you to have baby after baby (except for in China of course) but a lot of the women in Africa don’t even have a clitoris thanks to the men who are the ones who get to enjoy sex with as many women as they can squeeze in and I’ll be glad when these women get hip and just say no you are not cutting off my daughter’s clitoris and if you touch her I’ll cut your penis off how about that for a change of pace or they should go get their bachelor’s and master’s and get a job – no, a career – and have a nanny and a housekeeper to clean the house and then they should rip off all those garments and those hot-ass veils and just let their hair down because what does all this really have to do with religion when you think about it?”
Stella is fascinated she can kill coral:
“I want to touch the plants because they are swooning and swaying and look as though they are reaching up to the surface of the water but we are not supposed to touch the coral because some of them, most of them, are still alive and could die from being handled by human hands and I think it’s pretty fucking amazing that you can touch something so beautiful in a lovely way and it could like just die.”
Stella visits a nude beach:
"I sort of stand there for a minute and look out at the ocean which looks exactly like the ocean around the bend where everybody is wearing a bathing suit and I find myself sliding my straps down and then stepping out of my suit and the sun feels good on my ass and breasts and shoulders and I walk toward the beach with both hands covering my breasts and then I turn around and face the folks on the beach and for no reason at all I squeeze them and smile at that white man. Yes, you will go back to your room with your fat and fluffy wife who is gazing at me too as if she once looked even better than I do right now and then there is old man Nate who is like salivating and this tiny section of the beach is gaping with their so-called liberated and we-don’t-think-of-you-as-naked little eyes and it is not really because I am all that gorgeous.”
Stella’s relieved her child isn’t ugly anymore:
“But he is one handsome-looking little fool and I am so glad his looks are finally coming to the fore so to speak because I was having my doubts there for a while – a number of years actually – when everything on his face looked too big for his head or his head looked too big for those small features on his face except for those horse teeth that pretty much knocked those baby teeth right out of the way but over the past six months everything seems to be blending and jelling pretty nicely if I do say so myself.”
Stella describing how her niece walks:
“Chantel walks down the steps like a girl and saunters over next to him.”
Stella doesn’t think her son is black enough:
“I am shocked to hear him say this because he certainly is not as black as I was when I was his age.”
Throughout the book, Stella mentally berates Winston even though he's nothing but polite, kind, and caring. Winston never does anything remotely "wrong" for the length of the novel. This is a collection of quotes of Stella's reaction to him in various situations. The first quote in this collection is very long and quite the rollercoaster.
“What if he’s come to his senses and is hiding in his room and I go out there all dolled up and don’t see him and I’ll feel stupid? This is the reason why I often hate men. They’re all alike. You can’t depend on them for shit. They’re weak. I do not for the life of me understand why God even gave them balls when most of the time they act like they don’t have any. I can see that this weak-acting shit starts at a young age, doesn’t it? Well, I am making a mental note right now to teach Quincy how to grow up and flex his balls as much as possible, to jump into the fire to take risks and even if you’re scared do the shit anyway. I don’t want him to act like a little pussy like this Winston like his daddy like so many of these fellows running around in the world who don’t deserve to be called men. What some of them most of them a lot of them really need is a month or two at a dude ranch run by women. We’re the ones who can show these simpletons how to be men because we raised them and for some reason perhaps they are all suffering from ADD because they have apparently forgotten most of the necessary valuable constructive stuff we taught them as young boys which is why most of them are in dire need of a refresher course today.
I pick up my little clutch and walk to the dining room with a serious attitude because I am preparing myself for disappointment and if I happen to run into him and he’s like say with some young hoochie I will just give him my vampire look like I’ll get your ass later when you least expect it for setting me up like this and what exactly did you think you could do for me anyway? You probably have never even had any real pussy, have you, Winston? Probably never even spent the night out except at a sleepover, huh?
There he is. Sitting on the bench outside the dining room. And he’s alone. He stands up when he sees me and heads my way and wow does he look more handsome this evening or what and ohmyGod he’s wearing that Escape again and I am so glad I didn’t wear panties which is becoming a habit for me down here but maybe I should’ve this time because where will this stuff go that’s trickling down my leg oh shoot but thank God I have my little wipes in my purse so right after he says ‘Hi’ and smiles I say, ‘Hi, Winston, can you excuse me for a second, I need to go to the ladies’ room,’ and he says, ‘Are you okay?’ and as I amble away like they do in the movies I say, ‘I’m fine, just had a little accident but it’s nothing really,’ because I surely don’t want him to think I’m on my period because he’s so young and everything and he probably no way would want to do it the very first time if I’m on my period even though I know men who will go down on you when you’re bleeding which I think is disgusting and I can’t even bear to watch them when they do it and don’t come up here acting like you want to kiss me now no way go brush and floss and Listerine and then come back and let me smell your breath first and we’ll consider another kiss then but not until then.”
“This feeling like I’m in the middle of a Saturday matinee movie and my man is about to go off to war and I’m about ready to say, ‘Be careful sweetheart,’ and ‘Please come back to me,’ and then I’d like break down which is why I am not enjoying this silly role and I wish I could like turn this channel to like Nick at Nite or something maybe even Annette Funicello when she was a little girl a Mouseketeer on the Mickey Mouse Club or how about Barney whom I have hated from day one but that’s what I could use right now Barney singing I love you You love me We’re a happy famil . . . no, to hell with Barney too, because all of you, you are all into ranting and raving about so much love all the fucking time and it is enough to get on anybody’s nerves when there is no love in your world so just fuck you Barney just fuck you Annette and fuck you too, Winston!”
“My phone light is dead red. It looks as if it has never blinked, it will never blink. At least not as long as I’m in this room under the influence because I am truly acting like some lovesick cheerleader who has fallen hard for the quarterback and fucked him in the backseat of his Mustang and he was really just testing the water because his real girlfriend is at another college and he has never even tried to fuck her because he respects her, loves her too much and she is the girl he wants to marry.”
“’Well, I would really like to see you to say goodbye before you leave, Stella.’
I want to say, Fuck you, Winston, why haven’t you called me until now, why call now, you little creep! But instead I hear myself say, ‘When?’”
And for the finale, my favorite quote...
"It ain't nothing but a meatball."
I am going to review this book by sharing quote excerpts. I am warning you that this is going to be a long review. These quotes are lengthy due to the writing style of the author and I have copied them exactly as they appear in the book.
Let's get started. I will add my commentary in bold for each quote.
The author reviews one of her books, in her own book:
“I pick up the hardcover version of Waiting to Exhale by Terry McMillan which I bought when it first came out and I’ve been meaning to read for a couple of years now and after reading like the first fifty or sixty pages I don’t know what all the hoopla is about and why everybody thinks she’s such a hot writer because her shit is kind of weak when you get right down to it and this book here has absolutely no literary merit whatsoever at least none that I can see and she uses entirely too much profanity. Hell, I could write the same stuff she writes cause she doesn’t exactly have what you’d call a style but anyway I can sort of relate to some of her characters even though the main reason I didn’t read this book was because from what I heard a couple of these women sounded too much like me although I’m not as stupid as a few of them."
Stella has an unhealthy obsession with vaginal smells:
“At home I go through a can of Shower Fresh FDS in a few weeks because I cannot stand the way I smell down there when I perspire, the reason why, I understand, more men don’t go down on women. Lord knows I wouldn’t which is another reason why I douche at least twice sometimes even three times a month depending on how much attention I’m getting and I don’t care what those gynecologists say about using up good bacteria and increasing your risks for infection because if that’s true then why do women’s bathrooms always smell like old fish? I’ll be glad when somebody invents a twenty-five-cent douche or feminine wipes dispenser and puts them in all women’s public restrooms and an automatic Lysol atomizer wouldn’t hurt. I also have my little disposable cleansing wipes which I keep in my purse so that when I’m out and using the ladies’ room I won’t have to worry about adding to the smell.”
Stella playing volleyball combats sexism:
“I play hard and well. The members of the other team who weren’t here the last time I played, are automatically assuming that because I’m a woman I’m going to play like one is supposed to play and I guess a woman isn’t supposed to be strong or athletically inclined however athletic she may look, so they do not expect me to serve or hit the ball as consistently as I do. They probably thought the first couple of times were a fluke but when our team kicks their butt thanks to a few of my very own Monica Seles-like serves, a major statement is made and I think registers clearly on their little weenies.”
Stella’s views on African men:
“I mean African men scare me because I’ve heard how like if you kiss them once and do the nasty besides they want to marry you and then expect you to stay in the kitchen and cook and clean and to be a passive obedient child like all those Japanese and Chinese and Muslim women and they want you to have baby after baby (except for in China of course) but a lot of the women in Africa don’t even have a clitoris thanks to the men who are the ones who get to enjoy sex with as many women as they can squeeze in and I’ll be glad when these women get hip and just say no you are not cutting off my daughter’s clitoris and if you touch her I’ll cut your penis off how about that for a change of pace or they should go get their bachelor’s and master’s and get a job – no, a career – and have a nanny and a housekeeper to clean the house and then they should rip off all those garments and those hot-ass veils and just let their hair down because what does all this really have to do with religion when you think about it?”
Stella is fascinated she can kill coral:
“I want to touch the plants because they are swooning and swaying and look as though they are reaching up to the surface of the water but we are not supposed to touch the coral because some of them, most of them, are still alive and could die from being handled by human hands and I think it’s pretty fucking amazing that you can touch something so beautiful in a lovely way and it could like just die.”
Stella visits a nude beach:
"I sort of stand there for a minute and look out at the ocean which looks exactly like the ocean around the bend where everybody is wearing a bathing suit and I find myself sliding my straps down and then stepping out of my suit and the sun feels good on my ass and breasts and shoulders and I walk toward the beach with both hands covering my breasts and then I turn around and face the folks on the beach and for no reason at all I squeeze them and smile at that white man. Yes, you will go back to your room with your fat and fluffy wife who is gazing at me too as if she once looked even better than I do right now and then there is old man Nate who is like salivating and this tiny section of the beach is gaping with their so-called liberated and we-don’t-think-of-you-as-naked little eyes and it is not really because I am all that gorgeous.”
Stella’s relieved her child isn’t ugly anymore:
“But he is one handsome-looking little fool and I am so glad his looks are finally coming to the fore so to speak because I was having my doubts there for a while – a number of years actually – when everything on his face looked too big for his head or his head looked too big for those small features on his face except for those horse teeth that pretty much knocked those baby teeth right out of the way but over the past six months everything seems to be blending and jelling pretty nicely if I do say so myself.”
Stella describing how her niece walks:
“Chantel walks down the steps like a girl and saunters over next to him.”
Stella doesn’t think her son is black enough:
“I am shocked to hear him say this because he certainly is not as black as I was when I was his age.”
Throughout the book, Stella mentally berates Winston even though he's nothing but polite, kind, and caring. Winston never does anything remotely "wrong" for the length of the novel. This is a collection of quotes of Stella's reaction to him in various situations. The first quote in this collection is very long and quite the rollercoaster.
“What if he’s come to his senses and is hiding in his room and I go out there all dolled up and don’t see him and I’ll feel stupid? This is the reason why I often hate men. They’re all alike. You can’t depend on them for shit. They’re weak. I do not for the life of me understand why God even gave them balls when most of the time they act like they don’t have any. I can see that this weak-acting shit starts at a young age, doesn’t it? Well, I am making a mental note right now to teach Quincy how to grow up and flex his balls as much as possible, to jump into the fire to take risks and even if you’re scared do the shit anyway. I don’t want him to act like a little pussy like this Winston like his daddy like so many of these fellows running around in the world who don’t deserve to be called men. What some of them most of them a lot of them really need is a month or two at a dude ranch run by women. We’re the ones who can show these simpletons how to be men because we raised them and for some reason perhaps they are all suffering from ADD because they have apparently forgotten most of the necessary valuable constructive stuff we taught them as young boys which is why most of them are in dire need of a refresher course today.
I pick up my little clutch and walk to the dining room with a serious attitude because I am preparing myself for disappointment and if I happen to run into him and he’s like say with some young hoochie I will just give him my vampire look like I’ll get your ass later when you least expect it for setting me up like this and what exactly did you think you could do for me anyway? You probably have never even had any real pussy, have you, Winston? Probably never even spent the night out except at a sleepover, huh?
There he is. Sitting on the bench outside the dining room. And he’s alone. He stands up when he sees me and heads my way and wow does he look more handsome this evening or what and ohmyGod he’s wearing that Escape again and I am so glad I didn’t wear panties which is becoming a habit for me down here but maybe I should’ve this time because where will this stuff go that’s trickling down my leg oh shoot but thank God I have my little wipes in my purse so right after he says ‘Hi’ and smiles I say, ‘Hi, Winston, can you excuse me for a second, I need to go to the ladies’ room,’ and he says, ‘Are you okay?’ and as I amble away like they do in the movies I say, ‘I’m fine, just had a little accident but it’s nothing really,’ because I surely don’t want him to think I’m on my period because he’s so young and everything and he probably no way would want to do it the very first time if I’m on my period even though I know men who will go down on you when you’re bleeding which I think is disgusting and I can’t even bear to watch them when they do it and don’t come up here acting like you want to kiss me now no way go brush and floss and Listerine and then come back and let me smell your breath first and we’ll consider another kiss then but not until then.”
“This feeling like I’m in the middle of a Saturday matinee movie and my man is about to go off to war and I’m about ready to say, ‘Be careful sweetheart,’ and ‘Please come back to me,’ and then I’d like break down which is why I am not enjoying this silly role and I wish I could like turn this channel to like Nick at Nite or something maybe even Annette Funicello when she was a little girl a Mouseketeer on the Mickey Mouse Club or how about Barney whom I have hated from day one but that’s what I could use right now Barney singing I love you You love me We’re a happy famil . . . no, to hell with Barney too, because all of you, you are all into ranting and raving about so much love all the fucking time and it is enough to get on anybody’s nerves when there is no love in your world so just fuck you Barney just fuck you Annette and fuck you too, Winston!”
“My phone light is dead red. It looks as if it has never blinked, it will never blink. At least not as long as I’m in this room under the influence because I am truly acting like some lovesick cheerleader who has fallen hard for the quarterback and fucked him in the backseat of his Mustang and he was really just testing the water because his real girlfriend is at another college and he has never even tried to fuck her because he respects her, loves her too much and she is the girl he wants to marry.”
“’Well, I would really like to see you to say goodbye before you leave, Stella.’
I want to say, Fuck you, Winston, why haven’t you called me until now, why call now, you little creep! But instead I hear myself say, ‘When?’”
And for the finale, my favorite quote...
"It ain't nothing but a meatball."
August 1, 2012
So if you like to read a story written mostly in run on sentences that go on and on and on forever and are supposed to be like a stream of consciousness but really are just very distracting very annoying very redundant then you may just like this book but you also have to be ok with the fact that a 42 yr old falling in love with a 20 yr old on a jamaican vacation is preposterous ridiculous scandalous but oh it makes her feels so good but when he doesnt call for two days because God forbid he's working back to back 14 hour shifts she turns into a fit pitching pouty teenager so they might just be perfect for each other because he's honestly more mature than she is and she definitely has as many if not more insecurities as him and has the run on sentence driven you batty yet?? then maybe you should skip this book and just see the movie (which I havent seen, and probably wont bother with after reading this.)
It's predictable and obviously written to black people.. McMillan isn't blatantly racist but there are definite snubbing moments. I felt the same way about Waiting to Exhale, so I probably won't read any other of her books. It must be a "black thang."
It's predictable and obviously written to black people.. McMillan isn't blatantly racist but there are definite snubbing moments. I felt the same way about Waiting to Exhale, so I probably won't read any other of her books. It must be a "black thang."
December 5, 2008
It's fine for a quick mindless read, and darkly ironic because it's based on McMillan's then-marriage to a charming, younger man from Jamaica that...erm, didn't turn out so well. My main problem is with the story's predictability (which is fine, because it never attempts to be thought-provoking or deep) and the damned run-on sentences. Oh, but one thing I DID like: the inner-story reference as Stella reclines on a beach reading--what else--one of McMillan's novels. I don't have the exact quote, but she says something about the book being "Something from a young hotshot author who wasn't that great and cursed too much."
THE IRONY.
THE IRONY.
March 6, 2016
I liked this book. The run on sentences don't bug me. She is queen in my book.
June 18, 2023
This is the second time I have read this book. The first time was back in the 1990s when it first came out and I loved it back then. This time around, I read it for a book club, and it just didn’t hit the same way that it did back then. For one thing, Terry needs to hire herself an editor. The lack of punctuation and typos were cloyingly present. I didn’t notice that back when I read it the first time. Back then, I felt like Stella was a very likable character and had everything going for her. Her son, Quincy was and still remains an adorable character, but I hardly think an 11 year old is going to be discussing his mom’s sex life with her. Her sisters, Vanessa and Angela are polar opposites, and provide just the right amount of sibling rivalry. Winston, the object of Stella’s desire, is probably the most liked character, in my opinion. This time around, Stella seems slightly neurotic, with a side of superficiality. She vacillates from sounding like she hates men to worrying about what this younger man might be thinking about her as an older woman, a black woman from America, etc, and she comes off as disparaging in her self-talk. For some reason, this book didn’t feel as fun as it did the first time around. I give it 3 stars. I didn’t hate it, I just think I fell out of love with it after 27 years. One thing I would be curious about; did Ms. McMillan write a sequel to this book? Now that would be interesting. I’d like to see if Stella, aged 69, and Winston, aged 47, made it last, or did they realize their island fantasy May-December romance could not withstand the pressure of aging? I’m thinking of Cher and her bagel boy, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher as I write this last statement.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 9, 2024
what a fun rom com! discusses the dynamics of age and perfectionism and their impact on relationships.
June 1, 2021
This was so whiny and introspective. I definitely prefer the movie over this.
October 1, 2015
I watched the movie because of one of my favorite actresses was in it, and at the time, never read the book. I have heard such great things about this writer and first time I had some time to read it while working in a library via computer lab.
I would say it is an easy read and may chuckle here-or-there but one of my disappointments with the book is the numerous run-on sentences. There are other parts that are unnecessary to me but maybe this is why I dislike chick-lit or contemporary reads (or these parts usually written in these type of reads). However I plan to complete it and from my understanding, the author included a portion of her life through the character Stella.
*I may try to read "Waiting to Exhale" but never could finish that movie for some reason regardless of men believing it was a male-backlashing-flick.
Leisure read 2015
I would say it is an easy read and may chuckle here-or-there but one of my disappointments with the book is the numerous run-on sentences. There are other parts that are unnecessary to me but maybe this is why I dislike chick-lit or contemporary reads (or these parts usually written in these type of reads). However I plan to complete it and from my understanding, the author included a portion of her life through the character Stella.
*I may try to read "Waiting to Exhale" but never could finish that movie for some reason regardless of men believing it was a male-backlashing-flick.
Leisure read 2015
February 9, 2010
I've seen this movie plenty of times, but never read the book to understand the emotions Stella had towards Winston. In my opinion, and I could be wrong because I'm younger, but Stella had a huge wall up towards Winston, and the age difference between them. She could not get over the fact that she was so much older than him, and it created so much unwanted tension in their relationship.
I'm not a big fan of Terry McMillan, but her Stella character grated on my nerves, and I was happy to be finished with the book. I would only recommend this book to older women who may be going through a similar situation, someone who thought about dating a younger man, or someone who may be hesitant in dating a younger man.
I'm not a big fan of Terry McMillan, but her Stella character grated on my nerves, and I was happy to be finished with the book. I would only recommend this book to older women who may be going through a similar situation, someone who thought about dating a younger man, or someone who may be hesitant in dating a younger man.
August 12, 2022
Meh. I remember really enjoying "Waiting to Exhale", but I wasn't a big fan of this. I found Stella a bit annoying. I wasn't overly convinced by the romance, or the possibility of it lasting, and I felt there was a lot of name-checking of products and brands.
It's a small thing, but I was particularly wound up by Stella's obsession with being smell-free (to the point of three showers a day) and thinking that women's genitalia stink. Not just smell, stink. And that women's toilets stink because we stink. And men hate giving women oral sex because of the disgusting smell we emit. And we should use vaginal deodorants as often as possible. This is not a message we should be giving young women.
It's a small thing, but I was particularly wound up by Stella's obsession with being smell-free (to the point of three showers a day) and thinking that women's genitalia stink. Not just smell, stink. And that women's toilets stink because we stink. And men hate giving women oral sex because of the disgusting smell we emit. And we should use vaginal deodorants as often as possible. This is not a message we should be giving young women.
April 13, 2009
This was my last summer read of that year. and this book was long...It went quick but it was wordy. I picked up this book because I enjoyed Waiting to Exhale but this book was not as character driven. I enjoyed the setting of course and the description of a get away in Jamaica. And what woman wouldn't like to believe that she could have a great fling with a younger man. It was also interesting to know that this was based on Terry McMillan's real life experience and how she met her husband. Ironically there is another book to be read about how she lost her husband. Now that would be a great summer read!
July 14, 2008
In my opinion - the best book written by Terry McMillan.
September 21, 2008
Book was better than I thought it would be, but the ending reads like she was over her deadline and needed to finish.
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