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80 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1978








A huge shoe mounts up from the horizon, squealing and grinding forward on small wheels, even as a man sitting to breakfast on his veranda is suddenly engulfed in a great shadow, almost the size of night . . .
He looks up and sees a huge shoe ponderously mounting out of the earth.
Up in the unlaced ankle-part an old woman stands at a helm behind the great tongue curled forward; the thick laces dragging like ships' rope on the ground as the huge thing squeals and grinds forward; children everywhere, they look fro the shoelace holes, they crowd about the old woman, even as she pilots this huge shoe over the earth . . .
Soon the huge shoe is descending the opposite horizon, a monstrous snail squealing and grinding into the earth . . .
The man turns to his breakfast again, bu sees it's been wounded, the yolk of one of his eggs is bleeding . . .
- The Wounded Breakfast (pg. 19)
Identical twin old men take turns at being alive.
One stays in bed all day, dead. The other eats a cracker; then goes to the bathroom and evacuated the eaten cracker.
He brushes his hair with a toothbrush.
If someone knocks on the door he opens it and says, hello, may I help you?
Then the person who knocked says, no, I don't think so.
But no one knocks . . .
The next day it's the dead old man's turn to be alive. So he gets up and eats a cracker; then goes to the bathroom and evacuates the cracker.
He brushes his hair with a toothbrush.
If someone knocks on the door he trembles.
But no one knocks on the door, and still he trembles . . .
At dawn he dies, and it's his twin brother's turn to be alive again . . .
- Twins (pg. 42)
A group of dead people are given electrical treatments. Their hair stands straight out from their heads. The doctor is pleased.
One of the corpses develops an erection. The doctor is pleased again.
These are signs of life! he cries.
A dead woman begins to blink violently, as if waking from a bad dream. This goes on for hours until one of the lids rips; the other breaks and slides off her cheek to the floor, still blinking, until the doctor steps on it, screaming, too much juice!
The corpse with the erection finally ejaculates.
The dead are producing life! cries the doctor.
He takes a smear of the ejaculate and puts it under a microscope, screaming, but the sperms are dead!
A nurse wipes his forehead and says, doctor, you're such a nice man, don't feel bad, yours are the sorrows of Dr. Frankenstein.
But, nurse, that's fiction.
Like this.
No no, this is real life, says the doctor.
No, says the nurse, Russell Edson is writing this.
No no, we are our own selves giving electrical treatments to the dead that they might live again! cries the doctor.
But we don't even live, says the nurse, so how can we make the dead, who, in fact, are not really dead, live?
Stop it, nurse, because you are running my life; won't feel like getting up in the morning anymore; nothing's real; drifting I drift into fiction; from the window I see the trees of fiction, everything is turning to fiction; the real clouds are found to be only Edson's mentality . . .
I end up at the funny farm, and am told that this is just another of Edson's fictions - Lost, lost! I| end up nutty as a fruitcake, maybe nuttier!
- Edson's Mentality (pg. 52)
A man had two feet. One was a woman, the other a man.
Appropriately one wore a woman's high-heeled shoe, the other a rough work boot.
And this was true of his hands and his nostrils and eyes. And this was true of his testicles, one of which was an ovary . . .
- The Half-and-Half Man (pg. 11)