The lesson here is: Don’t trust booktok all the time guys. instant love can be good if its written the right way & this was not. The author’s style is also very tell-not-show. I kept a running list of all the inconsistencies and things and quotes I did not like so here they are:
“There’s something about the softness in his eyes, the parts of him he keeps hidden from the world and shields with his playboy facade. I’m not saying he isn’t a playboy, because I know about Hayden and his history. But there’s a softer side, hiding behind the arrogance he constantly emits. There are layers to him, yet no one takes the time to notice.” She says this during their THIRD time talking. And in the two times before this, they didn’t have conversations that lasted more than 8 minutes.
“We had a one-night stand over the summer and sure, we’ve had a few run-ins since then… but what could possibly be going on in that mind of his that involves me?” THIS WAS SAID, I KID YOU NOT, TWO PAGES AFTER THE QUOTE BEFORE THIS. Like please girl. You’re right. He doesn’t know ANYTHING about you except your name. Which he only figured out the LAST time he saw you. Now you think you know whats underneath? But actually you don’t because it’s a one night stand?
“I hate leaving her here like this, but I recognize the guy she’s talking to. I didn’t notice at first, but it’s someone she’s been hanging out with occasionally. I can’t remember his name for the life of me, though.” She says about her best friend. How convenient.
“I want to taste you, baby. Your attitude might be salty, but I have a feeling this pussy tastes sweeter than heaven.” I don’t even have words for this one.
60% in you learn that his parents never trusted that he could make it in hockey and its legit an inner dialogue for a page and then it’s never touched on again. He never opens up to her about it. She never knows. In fact they don’t know anything about each other’s home life or family.
“I know the guys have mentioned before that Eden only cares about Eden, but I’ve seen a different side of her.” — You literally havent? You’ve fucked 3 times & hung out maybe 5 times total at this point, and none of it was a conversation that was open or deeper than “I cant get you out of my head” and “you’re just like the other hockey playboys, you’re just gonna hit it and quit it!” Shut up.
Also, if the author ends a chapter with a “….” one more time, like enough is enough.
Written 70%: SHES IN LOVE WITH HIM? THEY BARELY TALK. THERES LITERALLY A WHOLE PAGE OF HIS DIALOGUE WHERE HE JUST COMPLAINS THAT SHE NEVER OPENS UP.
In the span of a chapter at 91% in, she sees him talking to a girl, leaves the bar, tries to go home, he catches up to her, explains, she says she doesnt believe him, he tells her he loves her, she says it back & they fuck. thats the big fight? thats the groveling?
Six months later. He proposes.
Also the smut was bad.