Pineapple Grenade

Serge Storms #15

by Tim Dorsey

Gloriously unrepentant Florida serial killer Serge Storms is back—and he’s finagled his way into becoming a secret agent in Miami—in another outrageous crime comedy from New York Times bestselling author, Tim Dorsey. In Pineapple Grenade, the incomparable Serge takes up spying for the president of a banana republic, and now Homeland Security wants to bring him down. It’s always a wild ride when Dorsey’s at the wheel, and with Pineapple Grenade he delivers his most explosively hilarious road trip to date.

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Mystery, Crime, Comedy, Mystery Thriller, Audiobook

342 pages, Hardcover

First published January 24, 2012

About the author

Tim Dorsey was born in Indiana, moved to Florida at the age of 1, and grew up in a small town about an hour north of Miami called Riviera Beach. He graduated from Auburn University in 1983. While at Auburn, he was editor of the student newspaper, The Plainsman.

From 1983 to 1987, he was a police and courts reporter for The Alabama Journal, the now-defunct evening newspaper in Montgomery. He joined The Tampa Tribune in 1987 as a general assignment reporter. He also worked as a political reporter in the Tribune’s Tallahassee bureau and a copy desk editor. From 1994 to 1999, he was the Tribune’s night metro editor. He left the paper in August 1999 to write full time.

Reviews

[Brian · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Where's the rule that says you can't just unilaterally declare yourself a spy and snoop around for no reason?"

This is the 15th book in Tim Dorsey's series focusing on gonzo serial killer with a conscience Serge Storms. I have read them all. They are fun books for the beach and were a part of an annual vacation reading tradition for me. This is the first one I have picked up in a few years, and I enjoyed the fun, but I am thinking these books are at their best with your toes in the sand.
"Pineapple Grenade" is much better than its immediate predecessor ("When Elves Attack") which was a very weak effort from Dorsey. The formula for this series is each novel finds Serge with a focus of some sort, and the mayhem revolves around that focus. This text finds Serge intrigued by the world of international spying. Mr. Dorsey skewers the CIA, arms smugglers, Latin American banana republics and the interminable moral morass that is Miami in this book.
A quibble, Dorsey takes some cheap political shots in the book that I could have done without. No one picks up these books for your politics, so don't offend half of your audience dude. I hope he drops this trend in future texts.
Mr. Dorsey is a funny writer. He is one of the few writers who makes me laugh out loud, and Serge is such a maniac, and yet one with a pretty decent moral code, that I can't help myself. They are a nice fun relief, and usually are enjoyable to escape into.
I will continue the journey with this character and this series. Don't ask these books to be more than they are and you will be content.

[Melki · Rating 3 out of 5]

With a plot that was even more convoluted than usual, this was not my favorite of Serge's adventures.

But . . . it wasn't all bad.

Dorsey has a real knack for taking today's headlines (okay - this was published in 2012, so yesterday's headlines), like the Nigerian Prince email scam, and planes stranded for hours on runways, and turning them into great What-Would-Serge-Do scenarios. And, I laughed out loud at Serge's attempts to infiltrate the spy game - old style, using a shoe phone, and spying on suspicious characters through eye holes cut in newspapers.

No matter the storyline, these books are always worth reading purely for the Philosophy of Serge.

Take Serge's method for handling telemarketers:

". . . some solicitor calls right after I've poured milk in my cereal, and I say, 'Can't talk now,' which among their people means keep talking, so I interrupt and say, 'Serge isn't here. Cereal's happening.' And they ask what's a convenient time to call back, so I say, 'I don't know. The police are still looking for him. Somehow he got the address of a telemarketer and they found a bloody clawhammer. Where do you live?'"

Or, Serge's efforts to become The Next Mr. Palin by writing a love letter to Sarah:

Going Rogue . . . and making it look so hot!

And, this bit for everyone who thinks that South America consists of three Mexican countries:

"First, a big toast to all you fine people for putting the Latin in Latin America. To be completely honest, Americans are terrible with geography. You're just a vague group of interchangeable countries on the map where all the men are required to grow mustaches."

You certainly can't argue with Serge's plan for world peace:

"Hey, we all make mistakes. That's how nature made us: fight, eat, and diddle. But when it comes to fighting, real enemies aren't always nearby, so instead we quarrel with our neighbors, the people most like us who should be our buddies. It's happening all over the world. Some Arabs hate the Jews. Not most, but I'm sure you've heard the stories. Except a Jew isn't always handy, so they split into Sunni and Shiite and attack each other. And over what? I guess who hates Jews more. Christianity? One word: Ireland. And all across the U.S., red and blue states. It's in our blood - evolution tells us we have to hate somebody. Most scientists agree on this except creationists, who hate evolutionists. But I've got the answer: We just shift our primal directives to eating and diddling, because a well-laid dude with a stomach full of lobster Newburg ain't strapping on any suicide vests, if you know what I mean, and I think a few of you out there do . . . "

There you have it. It's for the good of mankind. Commence with the eating and the diddling.

[Chris]

Dorsey is back up to form with this book. In the first 5 minutes of reading had me giggling and guffawing three or four times.

Serge becomes a spy. He knew he was hired when the guards threw him out the door extra hard. He's so good at it rival factions of CIA agents battle over who can recruit him all while foreign agents have plots and plans of their own.

The only downside to this book was he had to bring is personal politics into it with rants against a couple prominent names. Had he spread out his skewering to include jabs at BOTH sides of the aisle, I would not have thought twice about it , instead I was left with a sour attitide for a while with the thought of "sawdust in eye..." But, Dorsey is a Florida Reporter; his kind will forever be bitter and biased about the political realm.

Luckily, the majority of the rest of the story MORE than made up for his 12 year old bitterness.

[Anonymous-9 Anonymous-9 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anybody who can make me laugh this hard gets five stars. I dropped my Kindle and choked, 5 stars! By now I've read three or four Dorsey novels and I don't try to follow the plot. It would slow down the joyride. The book chronicles the exploits of a manic psychopath and his drug-fueled companion anyway, so how crazy would it be to try and make sense out of what they're doing and call it a plot? Better to just read along at a breakneck pace, giggling and hooting, and enjoy the Florida scenery as it flies past. Tim Dorsey is a genre unto himself. And I love it.

[Newly Wardell · Rating 5 out of 5]

SO yep he's a psychotic serial killer but he's also got bars! Serge goes everywhere, even the hood! Serge is just ahead of his time. In this book he's a spy because well he says it, then he makes it so. Weed is smoked, and the body count gets higher but all in the name of national security. Tim Dorsey, never stops delivering the good.

[Alpha · Rating 3 out of 5]

What do you get when you mix sociopath behavior on crack cocaine with meth as a base for a spy novel? You get Pineapple Grenade that's what! And lucky for all us Serge Storm fans, Tim Dorsey is bringing another wonderful tale within the psychopathic world of everyone's lovable murdering Florida buff... with a heaping side of entertaining stupid in the form of Coleman.

Before I continue, I must be honest and say that I don't even know the overall plot and timeline of Serge Storm's life anymore. True I remember specific minute details here and there, but if you asked me to recite the script for Florida Roadkill or even something more recent like Electric Barracuda, I'd say I don't know. I just know the overall progression of his life since the stories do have a similar theme that can coagulate together like garlic mashed potatoes.

So it is good I am doing this review right now while the story is fresh in my head because I won't remember it after I read Tiger Shrimp Tango. Anyways, this novel is Tim Dorsey's take on spy novels. It generally starts out with Serge Storms obsessed with becoming a spy. His outlandish personality starts detailing on how to become a spy in the most ridiculous way possible. What I found hilarious is these hair-brained schemes to achieve occupational status as such so happens to have others believe it is true, such as the CIA.

Still, Serge believes he is a spy because of certain things that do happen and just by pure coincidence (which seems to be a theme in all of Tim Dorsey's books), he ends up in the midst of a grand scheme in which this book's is a huge CIA political conspiracy which involves a plan for assassination.

The story does flow well and there is enough tangents to make it more entertaining, but it should be reported how slow it feels compared to other Serge Storm novels. Maybe it is because I read every single Serge Storm novel before this one and the stories are, like I said, coagulating together like garlic mashed potatoes. At least the kills are picking up in interest, and it is nice that Serge is truly giving his victims a way out in which earlier, any form of a way out was a lie.

I will admit there were other Serge Storm novels that held my interest far more than this one. Please forgive me for not knowing the exact book, but the one that was kind of a "reunion" for all past characters in previous novels who were still alive including Lenny, the stripper Sharon, the G-Unit, Davenport, Mahoney, and Johnny Vegas on a cruise ship was very entertaining.

To be fair, maybe I am reading Serge Storms novels to close in time together. Maybe that is why Tim Dorsey releases novels annually, just to give his fans a year to recover from the insanity.

[Michael W. Boleware · Rating 4 out of 5]

Outrageously entertaining.

[Paul Pessolano · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Pineapple Grenade” by Tim Dorsey, published by William Morrow.

Category – Mystery/Humor Publication Date – July 10, 2012.

This is the fifteen book in the Serge A. Storms series and Tim Dorsey comes through again with a novel that not only is a mystery full of action but is also full of humor. A nice thing about these books is that they do not have to be read in series and that they never grow old.

Serge is the #1 authority on the State of Florida. He knows its history, both old and new, and he promotes it at every chance he gets. Serge is also a serial killer, one who seems able only to kill the “bad” guys and finds new and unique ways to kill them, in fact, their demise is usually based on their crimes. It often leads the reader to wonder if these methods really work.

In “Pineapple Grenade”, Serge and his best friend Coleman, who is always strung out on drugs or alcohol, are in Miami. Serge has decided to pursue being a spy and tries to interest the foreign consulates in Miami of his services. At the same time he becomes involved with the United States Secret Services and their involvement in a small Latin American Country. This all takes place during the “Summit of Americas” and an assassination plot.

True to form, Serge and Coleman inadvertently become involved and find themselves in another uproarious farce that leaves the reader pining for the next installment.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

Put all the images that can emerge within you, when a news story begins with the words, “Florida Man...” and put them in a single novel...That’s what you get in a Tim Dorsey “Serge Storm” novel...In this one, Serge & Coleman enter the spy business in Miami as South & Central American leaders meet...gun running, resource exploitation, assassins & military coups abound...Laughs on every page!!!

[Dianne · Rating 2 out of 5]

This has to be the first time that I really did NOT like one of the books from this series. While all of these books revel in the confusion that is Serge and Tim Dorsey, it didn't seem to work in this particular book. Most of Tim's book are info-dumps at times and it is up to you to pick out what is going to be important...then you learn it is ALL going to be important, in this book the info-dumps just didn't seem to add up to anything worth getting excited about.

I have to agree with the reviewer who is wondering if this is going to be "a slippery slope", I too am wondering the same thing.

One thing for sure is that I have never been bored by a Serge Storms book until now. I felt like I wanted to skim it just to see if something interesting was going to happen. I was surprised to see only a modicum of murders in this book

[Blaine Mooneyham · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve been reading these in order and this one was my least favorite so far, but still worth the read nonetheless. Too many side plots going on made it hard to follow and seemed the story was more about other characters rather than Serge and Coleman. I need more weirdness! It did wrap up quite nicely in the end and some good jokes sprinkled in though.

[Jennifer Brothers · Rating 3 out of 5]

So when i first started listening to this book, I was like WTF?! This is so bizarre but then gradually i found myself chuckling and a growing attachment to the characters. A ridiculous story about a criminal/murderer who is ingenious, borderline psychopath, in how he kills his victims and considers himself a vigilante making Miami safer for everyone.

[Jeff · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pineapple Grenade. Tim Dorsey. William Morrow, 2012. 352 pages. Book 15 of 26, Serge Storms series.

This has definitely been a three-Serge Storms (or more, we'll see) kind of month. In his fifteenth adventure, Serge decides he wants to be a spy, so the action is pretty much confined to Miami. Why Miami? Because Miami essentially became a major American city as a result of the Cold War. It was the staging area for US covert operations against Cuba and against Caribbean and Latin American regimes and factions deemed unfriendly to the US. There were spies and spy money everywhere. The city enjoyed a huge financial boom thanks to government spending and became known as the Mob's tropical playground, catapulting it into national and international prominence. Some consider Miami to be the unofficial cultural and economic capital of Latin America. Serge dispenses lots of knowledge about Miami's history and culture and about Cold War history, along with a little vigilante justice. Along the way, he finds himself at the center of a territorial/power dispute between rival CIA squads and a military strongman's plot to assassinate a foreign president attending the Summit of Americas conference. The usual Serge chaotic fun climaxes with various assassins, Guardian Clowns, Guardian Mimes, and even recurring character Johnny Vegas all in the mix.

[Ron Arden · Rating 5 out of 5]

This may be the best Tim Dorsey book yet. The last few Serge Storm tales were getting a bit formulaic, but this one has hit it out of the park (sorry about the overused metaphor). Of course, there is all the insane trivia of Florida and righteous do gooding you expect from Serge, but this one becomes more like a James Bond movie.

The first paragraph starts by saying a prosthetic leg with a Willie Nelson bumper sticker washes up on a Florida beach ... then it gets weird. You have to keep reading.

Serge decides he wants to be a spy and drags Coleman along on the adventure. Most of this story is in and around Miami, which happens to have a large contingency of CIA operatives and foreign embassies. Serge starts performing his usual antics that most of us think are just fantasies in his mind, but it turns out that the espionage community really works this way.

There are so many events that could and probably do happen in real life, that I couldn't help moaning and laughing out loud at the same time. Serge and Coleman try to fly from Tampa to Miami and get caught in the typical TSA and delayed airline insanity that most of us can relate to. Two rival CIA stations are now tasked with spying on each other, rather than other targets. In fact two operatives pose as tourists so they can see what their rivals are up to when they get "arrested" and interrogated.

Through total happenstance, or so it appears, the CIA and the Costa Gorda president (and his spys) believe that Serge is an undercover assassin/body guard here to protect the president. He hooks up with a woman (Felicia) who is a spy for Costa Gorda and this is where the story is just like James Bond.

Serge appears to not know what he is doing, but in fact he does and plays it beautifully in his own inimitable way. The climactic scene involves, an assassin, the Costa Corda president, Serge, Felicia, Coleman, a fall guy CIA operative, an alternate assassin, a large crowd at an American summit, an arms merchant, swat teams, 2 CIA groups and more mayhem than a Grateful Dead concert.

As usual, all those who should get their comeuppance do through Serge's odd sense of justice. Serge knows more than it appears, he just does things in his own way.

[Anne Patkau · Rating 1 out of 5]

"Pineapple Grenade" by Tim Dorsey explains little, not even where lead hero gets funding, granted I gave up after 4 chapters of dropped purposeless open ends. x-rated attempts to link absurd things in strange places; overall like Fredric Brown's "The Frownzly Florgels", where aliens cavort to explain off-beat illustration. Serge, in a T-shirt emblazoned with S, and cape, accompanied by marijuana smoker Coleman, capture one of the criminals robbing tourists around Miami airport. Cut to motel where they rock victim from side to side. Cut to autopsy room explanation: rocking freezing gas inside, then suction innards, created hollow corpse. Cut to Costa Gorda consulate where dynamic duo kicked out after pretending to be spies. Cut to airplane, evicted again. Other cuts were to CIA office, and to nasty gunrunner Victor Evangelista putting up with spoiled rich brat Scooter. Oh, forgot the dead shark with cut-up limbs inside, and corrupt lobbyist balding Malcom Glide involved with oil scandals. Skip to middle: love interest Felicia becomes Serge's nearly fiancee.

Spoilers:
Serge's pal Ted Savage dies, thinking he shot Victor. Epilogue says Victor was undercover good guy, shot by hidden double-crosser, as was Ted; lovely Latin Felicia shot, dies in Serge's arms; news blames Serge; Serge sends true villain Glide into oil fire for fitting death. Many open ends, such as how does Serge get away with all his misdemeanors?

[Marfita · Rating 3 out of 5]

I worry about Tim Dorsey. He seems far too interested in making unique and horrifying ways to kill someone funny ... and deserving. And he's starting to get self-referential, or maybe I just never noticed it before. Pineapple Grenade: A Novel is a rich parody of spy novels, with more twists than a Chubby Checker Convention. The generals of Costa Gorda need to encourage the rebels so that they have a reason to stage a coup in case the elected president becomes too much of a problem. Two cells of the CIA are working at cross-purposes on this as well as some recursive illegal arms deal. It's just politics as usual. Enter Serge Storms, our hero - oh, and his stoner sidekick, Coleman. All your favorite characters make their appearances, if only briefly. The hapless Johnny Vegas continues his unintended virginity. Mahoney, retired from chasing Serge, is now Serge's back-up. And every spy trope you know (especially the Bond film ones) is sent up, but because it's Serge, you know the baddies will suffer. Never fear, Serge is here. OMG, what am I saying?!
(Favorite bits: the Guardian Mimes and "What do you know about the plot?")

[Ann Keller · Rating 4 out of 5]

Take Spies Like Us and any good James Bond movie, mix with the Marx Brothers - shaken not stirred, of course! -- and you have Pineapple Grenade. This zany thriller is set in Miami, Florida, as two experienced operatives, Serge and his sidekick, Coleman, stumble upon an assassination plot, combined with an arms deal and drug trafficking.

Serge and Coleman do their best to infiltrate the opposition, encountering double agents and ne-er do wells on both sides of the fence. Serge even finds romance with the stunningly lovely Felicia Carmen. As the killing noose tightens around President Guzman’s neck, Serge, Coleman and Felicia race to stop a deadly sniper who could end the man’s life. Will they be able to get there in time? What incredible secrets will be revealed in the chase?

Although the beginning of this novel was rather like a merry jigsaw puzzle of clues, soon the pieces began to take shape into a horrific plot. This was the first book I’ve read by this author and I really enjoyed Serge and Coleman’s ideas of dispensing “justice” and the mega twists and turns in the story itself. Well done.

[Porter Sprite · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was good, love the characters and the revival of information brought up in the past. This book does justice on the Florida state and the state of Florida if you know what I mean

[Stay Fetters · Rating 4 out of 5]

Serge and Coleman are in Miami, bitches!
They are in town for the Summit Of The Americas.
You know this book is going to be good, when a floating prosthetic leg with a Willie nelson sticker floats ashore. Nothing can top that... and then this happens, "knock knock... who's there? Brad Pitt. I brought my cock... Oh God!!!" And I was hooked.
Serge wants to be a spy. James bond spy. It just so happens he foils a robbery\murder and people think he really is a spy. And let the wild adventure begin.
Its just so wild how Dorsey can come up with these crazy deaths. I'm always saying, he can't top that death and he does. Where the hell does he come up with this?
Fucking amazing.

[Dennis Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tim Dorsey has created another Florida mayhem saga with Serge and Coleman running around all creation playing spy and attracting the wrong kind of attention, as is their usual. Coleman is high as a kite bumbling along with Serge as they try to get to the bottom of a gun running plot and a later assassination attempt. Serge is accompanierd by a hot and horny Latina deep in the spy trade, much to his enjoyment. This spy spoof is loaded with comical TV spy jargon along with Serge's love of Floridian history.

I don't know how many Dorsey books I've read but I bust a gut each time I crack open a volume. We all need a laugh especially now so keep writing Tim, lovin it!

[Scottsdale Public Library]

Serge A. Storms, vigilante and avid Florida historian, is back and killing people in his unique style, which usually involves a trip to the Home Depot. Bored and listless, Serge creates a position for himself as an international spy. With his trusty stoner sidekick Coleman, the bodies quickly pile up. Gun running, espionage, CIA double dealing, and mucho mayhem that only the coffee-guzzling Serge could survive, if not thrive in. Not recommended for people opposed to laughing out loud while reading.--Steve K.

[Drew · Rating 3 out of 5]

‘Pineapple Grenade’ is another out there crazy adventure with Serge and Coleman. Mix one part Florida trivia, one part bad guy and one more crazy scheme and you’ve got a hilarious tale of epic proportions. The funny/sad part about this story is that when it comes down to the politics and politicians portrayed in it, they’re most true. If you’re looking to take a Florida vacation in your mind pick this up!

[Anthony · Rating 1 out of 5]

He has been missing the mark lately for me. Serge was funny but it is the same schtick over and over. And I now have zero tolerance when authors inject their own politics into the narrative. It is distracting and does nothing to move the story forward. Sorry Dorsey, I am going back to Hiaasen for my fun in Florida reading.

[Matthew Harwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having picked up the Serge Storms series at the start of lockdown I soon found myself reading almost a book a day. The silly humour and violent crimes and action make these books fun to read. I especially like how Dorsey always includes fun facts throughout the books, it is clear that he truly loves Florida.

[Jeanne · Rating 1 out of 5]

Do you ever get one of those books that never seems to end? Well, this Serge Storms installment was just that for me! A few laughs, but very hard to follow. Just not an enjoyable read for me -- 2 out of 10.

[Joel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tim Dorsey= Ernest Hemingway on acid. I have to stop reading these books in public. People tend to stare when you start laughing at what you're reading...but it's worth it.

[Ali · Rating 1 out of 5]

Eh. Not very impressive except for the creative ways the "hero" kills bad guys. Trite, sophomoric sex and drug humor. Really surprised I finished it. Best I can say is eh.

[Darinda · Rating 4 out of 5]

The 15th book in the Serge A. Storms series by Tim Dorsey. Serge loves history, trivia, and the state of Florida. He's also a psychopath. An action-packed and wild adventure. Funny and entertaining.

[ꕥ Ange_Lives_To_Read ꕥ · Rating 2 out of 5]

What it's about: Serge and Coleman pretend to be spies, and are swept up in a complex political plot involving gun running and the attempted assassination of the President of some fictional Caribbean island.

What I thought: At #15 in the series, I have officially reached Serge Fatigue. I didn't like this one at all. I listened to the audiobook, and while the narrator did his usual amazing job, I kept zoning out, losing my place and having a hard time finding where I left off. Because this is Dorsey, there were quite a few moments when I laughed, but this one was difficult to follow and tedious. I was never interested in trying to understand the plot, which may not even have been possible. I didn't care for the political leanings which Dorsey is not usually so blatant about.

But worst of all - and this will be meaningful only to readers of a certain age - this one jumped the shark and turned Serge into Fonzie. He could punch any metaphorical broken jukebox to have it come roaring back to life; he had only to snap his fingers to have beautiful women magically appear at his side willing to scamper off into the shrubbery and have loud, enthusiastic sex. More darkly, and less Fonzie-ish, both he and Coleman seemed to really enjoy the suffering of his murder victims. Speaking of Coleman, he has always been a loathsome character, but here his constant substance abuse and monstrous stupidity annoyed me to the point that I was rooting for Serge to kill him and put us both of our misery.

My history has shown that once I get annoyed with a series (I'm looking at you, Lillian Jackson Braun) I rarely go back and finish it. So, it looks my Summer of Serge is prematurely over, and my plan to read all of Dorsey's books probably ends here as well.

[Craig Pittman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I spy with my little eye -- Serge Storms' latest obsession! The Florida-file vigilante and his perpetually doped up Sancho Panza, Coleman, head to Miami for the Summit of the Americas, because Serge wants to try his hand at espionage. Luckily for him, there are a pair of rival CIA station chiefs who hate each other, a massive gun-running operation staffed by a general's idiot nephew, an assasination plot and a sleazy lobbyist whose motto is "It's the stupid, stupid!" who all need to be dealt with.

By thwarting what appears to be a simple carjacking, Serge winds up befriending the reformer elected president of Costa Gorda -- which also leads to him hooking up with the gorgeous spy Felicia Carmen. Dorsey describes her as "curves and hips and luscious red lips. A beauty mark. Long, curling black hair, designed to make any man swallow his tongue and spit out deepest secrets, which was her job." Luckily for Serge, she's turned on by danger.

Along the way, there's an effort by Homeland Security to come up with something even more alarming than Condition Red, a mime version of the Guardian Angels, a high-end repo man, a guy whose business involves punching people in the nose, the Nigerian Prince scam, how airlines keep their planes waiting on the tarmac for hours and so on. The one part that hits a sour note comes when Serge and Coleman visit Liberty City and attempt to rap. I took a star off for that one.

This entry in the series has a somewhat tragic climax, which was a surprise. But it results in one of Serge's simplest and best revenge killings. It involves an oil spill in the gulf. Clearly the BP oil spill off 2010 made Dorsey angry. I kind of wish there'd been a real-life Serge around to punish the BP execs the same way Serge takes care of the No. 1 bad guy in this book.