A Round-Heeled Woman: My Late Life Adventures in Sex & Romance

by Jane Juska

'Before I turn 67 - next March - I would like to have a lot of sex with a man I like. If you want to talk first, Trollope works for me.' - Small ad in the New York Review of BooksJane Juska placed her ad in the New York Times and the response was overwhelming. She took a sabbatical from teaching just to have time to respond and meet some of the men - the result is this engaging, funny and utterly frank account of her exploits. It's high time someone revealed the fact that older single people are as eager for sex and intimacy as their younger counterparts. Jane Juska's brave and honest memoir raises eyebrows and blood pressure in what is undoubtedly an inspiring account of one woman's daring adventures in sex and romance.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Biography Memoir, Book Club, Sexuality, Womens

290 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2003

Reviews

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Don’t bother picturing a spry Red-Hatter in juicy lingerie tramping it up with urbane, sexy, oldsters. Jane Juska’s game plan to “have a lot of sex with a man I like” really meant “have some sex but lots more drama with a few mediocre men who often belittle me, and I’ll travel mindlessly and expensively around the country to do so”.

Expecting the erotic quest of a normal woman celibate for thirty years now sowing her wild oats, I ended up questioning both her motives and her sanity. How many years did she spend in analysis?
She ain’t normal, for starters. She does berate herself for being an awful mom (as well she should, she sucked). Then, she actually travels to the state of a man she has a phone relationship with who refuses to ever meet her in person, thinking to force a face-to-face. Thankfully, she stops short of driving to his town. STALKER. How naïve is she, wondering why he didn’t want to see her in person? Listen, clueless, because HE LIEEEDDDD. Maybe he’s married, maybe he weighs 760 pounds, maybe he lives in a tarpaper shack, maybe he’s a fucking homunculus. Then again maybe she would have dated a homunculus, if he read Trollope.

Her basic dating model is flawed. First, advertising in the NYT Book Review personals (and mentioning Trollope, no less) for a vigorous sex partner? Might as well go to London for the weather. She shuns Regular Guys, a potential goldmine of sex partners. What about all those retired military? Police officers? Firefighters? Guys that get some once in a while? Probably not guys she could converse with, though.
The selectively Liberal Ms. Juska teaches prison inmates but won't "date down".

Second, for pity’s sake, woman, Think Globally, Act Locally! Surely there must be at least one Trollope loving, Viagra-chomping dirty old coot within 500 miles of Berkeley? Let’s face it, she wasn’t, in the end, choosy. In dating, the rubber meets the road, the plan succeeds or fails when you meet for the first time in person. All bets are then on or off. What could have been cheap coffee dates became exercises in masochism. How quickly would she have left most of them wheezing into their Starbucks if they’d been local?

And is she really that inexperienced?
Logging hours of time with one sex partner leads to a heck of a lot more fun and intimacy than was ever possible in her artificial long-distance relationships. She doesn’t even spend enough time with them to know if she likes them. Why she felt obligated, I don't know or care. But guess what? Old geezers with few offers will pretty much screw anything. And that Graham person, I just cannot go there without feeling sick.

Was her need to find an "intellectual" match simply fear of rejection by said Regular Guys? I ask this because, most disturbing to me as a fifty-year-old newly single dating member of the American female species, she does nothing to prepare herself. By that I mean her body. No mention of any spa visits, bikini waxing, makeovers, hair styling, nothing except buying that red nightie. And the visuals of her over and over in NYC with static hair, bulky down coat, boots, and sweaty sloppy sweater were too much. Once I can accept. But fucking wear layers next time. It’s NYC. When it’s cold outdoors, it’s HOT indoors. And vice-versa. I pictured classic Bag Lady. Was she begging for rejection?
Let’s face it, Jane, maybe YOU weren’t what THEY were expecting, either. Maybe they thought from your warm, intelligent, phone persona that you actually took some pride and care in your appearance. Like a Regular Gal.

Please. At least tackle the hair. They make products for that. Or shit-can the boots and down coat, it’s NYC for Christ’s sake. If it were Milan they’d stone you to death. And I would join them. Here, give me a nice round one. I’m kidding. I wouldn’t hurl rocks at a senior citizen, at least not that one. But I swear to God if I see that sweater lying around I’ll take it and burn it. Twice.

[Rea · Rating 1 out of 5]

Self-indulgent and too self-depricating, Jane jumps on the opportunity to write about her life which is not that enthralling or extraordinary. The book advertises itself as being about her sexual escapdes due to her advert, but 70% of the book is about her naiveness (not only in sex but in all domains of life), her family and her teaching. When she does get around to speaking about her sexual escapdes I felt they were under detailed (compared to other passages), rushed through and left me confused. Also just when it was starting to get interesting she decides to end the book...oh no not a sequel! The literary prose (if one can even call it that) is clumsy and amatuerish (for someone who is an English teacher!).

The blurb on the back of the book is misleading. It is not about this lady's sexual adventures following a risky ad but rather gives her an excuse to talk about sex, and not interestingly at that. There is obviosuly a massive generation and cultural gap between me and the author as I cannot relate to her at all and find her an overly naive push-over and irritating. For someone who wanted sexual escapdes she certianly had some pretty boring ones and not much to say about them.

I do not understand how this book is a motiviation or inspiration for other women. In her sexual escapdes she never took charge or empowered herself, she always allowed the men to do as they please and treat her as they wished. She keeps making the same mistakes over and over. It seems she used all her prowess and courage to place the ad, then deflated into a horny needy woman.

One word: Boring!

[Sheryl · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jane Juska was my first master teacher when I was getting my teaching credential. This memoir definitely showed her in a new light, and I could hear her voice in every chapter. The book wasn't as engaging as I'd hoped it to be, based on my fondness and respect for her as a mentor to me in my earliest teaching experiences. I guess I wanted her to be as strong in her personal life as she is/was in her professional life.

[Carissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Before I turn 67 - next March - I would like to have a lot of sex with a man I like." So read the ad that Jane Juska placed in the New York Times Book Review personals section. This book chronicles what happened after.

The funny, self-aware, thoughtful, beautifully human voice of Jane Juska was a joyful discovery for me - what a treat she is! Because I'm a voyeur, and because Juska's voice throughout the slightly scandalous book was full of humanity and courage, this book was a home run for me. I loved her stories about meeting the men who came forward to answer her ad, the stories of her childhood, her parents, her unhappy marriage. The vulnerability and humor Juska brought to each page was a source of delight from beginning to end.

[Tina · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ugh! That's about all I can say about this book. The premise was cute--it's the memoir of a woman who decided that even though she was older (66) she still wanted intimacy, so she puts out a personal ad for someone to talk to and be intimate with. But it's hard to read a memoir about a person you dislike so completely.

She jumped topics so frequently, talked about multiple men in the same sentence, and didn't explain people enough for me to keep them straight. She quoted authors too much, talked about her younger years, in which (I thought) she was a terrible wife and mother, doped up on drugs all the time, but then she expects me to sympathize because she missed the touch of a man? No, thank you. Get over yourself.

[Maria Regina Paiz · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a wonderful, humorous, courageous, uninhibited, effusive, candid, delightful book! I absolutely enjoyed reading Juska's friend-to-friend style of writing as she plunges headfirst into an outlandish adventure totally out of character with her (up-to-then) proper, respectable persona. At age 66 she decides to send a provocative ad to a personals section in a literary magazine, reading: "Before I turn 67—next March—I would like to have a lot of sex with a man I like. If you want to talk first, Trollope works for me." (Trollope, of course, refers to her favorite author). She thus embarks on a journey of lust, passion, happiness and love, as she discovers the pleasures of the flesh while overcoming old ghosts such as her mother's judgment, body image woes, and society's conventions on how little old ladies should feel and act. --A word of caution, though: this book is quite explicit! ...Ok, so maybe that will make you pick it up. I can guarantee, however, you will not be able to put it down. Juska is a funny, sexy lady and in the end, this book is triumphant.

[Dest · Rating 2 out of 5]

I bought this book on a whim because I thought it sounded light and I was in the mood to laugh. I mean, the misadventures of a retired grandma going on lots of blind dates? Shouldn't that be comical? Like, the female version of Grumpy Old Men or something? In actuality, this is a pretty heavy book and not for the reasons you might think (or not JUST for those reasons). The author had a rough life and a good portion of the book is spent documenting her most painful experiences.

So, not the beach read I thought it was. A better title for this book would be: A Round-Heeled Woman: My Late-Life Adventures in Sex and Romance AND My Mid-Life Adventures in Alcoholism and Depression.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

The cover of Jane Juska’s book features a newspaper personal ad that reads: “Before I Turn 67—next March—I would like to have a lot of sex with a man I like. If you want to talk first, Trollope works for me.” This personal ad reveals much about what lies between the covers of A Round-Heeled Woman: My Late-Life Adventures in Sex and Romance: a sexual romp and an exploration of aging and womanhood, imbued with a literary sensibility and a boisterous sense of humor. Juska’s candid memoir is a lively read that draws you in for the sex and has you stay for the wisdom, charm, and poignancy—well, okay, you might be staying for the sex, too.

As the ad that Berkeley-ite Juska places in The New York Review of Books implies, she may have retired from high school teaching, but she’s not ready to retire from life. “Retirement” to Juska means teaching at San Quentin State Prison and at U.C. Berkeley, volunteering for Planned Parenthood, and singing in a classical chorale. Indeed, retirement seems to have breathed new life into Juska: she loses a substantial amount of weight and clears out the psychic cobwebs through extensive therapy. Yet something is missing from the life of a woman who is “easily aroused,” one who “adores” penises. Through placing the ad, she gives herself permission, after years of celibacy, to have sex. More than that, though, she authorizes herself to be a sexual being.

As a woman in her late 60’s, claiming her desire is an empowering move. After sending in the ad, prior to receiving a response, she feels buoyant, playful. She wonders about people who don’t know what she’s done; they see her as a short, elderly, graying, intellectual woman. In her mind, she speaks to them: “Could you even imagine what I have done? Do you know that I am not at all what you think I am? That I am more? . . . The world was fun. And so was I.” Sexuality and identity play are not just for adolescents.

Of course we continue to read because we want to know how many men respond to her ad. And do any women? And we’re curious about how much sex, if any, she ends up having. And does she find love? Does she want to? The book answers these questions and does not skimp on the erotic details, offering a fascinating glimpse into a sexual world usually reserved in popular media for the under-40 set.

But Juska’s writing offers other pleasures, as well: Berkeley and New York lovingly are depicted; and she explores how music and literature enrich her life. She paints complex portraits of her mother (an alternately angry and loving woman), her father (with whom the adult Jane attends strip clubs), and her ex-husband (who, when they are newly married, teaches her to check out football players’ back-sides to determine their field position, unintentionally providing her with an opportunity to be a sexual spectator, not just the object of a man’s gaze).

The book also includes teaching scenes at the prison, high school, and university. Many writers teach, but not many write about the realities of the classroom. Juska provides a frank, humorous and, at times, complex examination of the vicissitudes of teaching and learning. With a series of stories about students and curriculum, Juska demonstrates how classrooms are drenched in sex, although we pretend they are not. And Juska does not shy away from the terrain of teachers as sexual people, such as when she writes about her enjoyment of a sixteen-year-old’s “ass.” Of course, the sixteen-year-old is a boy, and she’s a heterosexual woman. While certainly her desires are far from socially sanctioned, my one quibble with her book is that she fails to acknowledge the likely higher stakes for a gay or lesbian teacher.

Nevertheless, Juska’s book does demonstrate that aging can beget a certain kind freedom: the freedom to speak out about one’s desires, to tell one’s “risky” stories. We root for her strengths, and empathize with her weaknesses. For she is not all humor-and-spunk. When she falls for (and stays too long with) a man who does not reciprocate, we wince at her vulnerabilities, hoping she’ll give him the what-for. If Juska teaches us anything, it’s that, as she says, we are not always the hero of our stories; sometimes we are the villain. Those are the rhythms of life.

Indeed, other memoirs of women that explore sexuality, aging, and the literary life—such as works by May Sarton, Anais Nin, and Virginia Woolf—can be appealing because they help us see how others live life in all its permutations. These women are authors on two levels: authors of books, and authors of their lives. They don’t necessarily provide answers, just permission.

[Noran Miss Pumkin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel this book suffered from trying to be more, and less than the title offered. You get little of her dating adventures. I would have enjoyed more details on the letters she received, and the emails that were exchanged.

This book actually offers glimpses into two other books, that would have made great reads. Her live growing up with her parents, especially her mother, and her teaching writing at the prison. I so wished she wrote a book about those experiences alone. The brief chapter on the prison class was amazing! So insightful and deep. I would recommend this book, so just chapter alone. Seeing how words and writing empower and change people-I was moved and enlightened.

Her mother was an amazing woman, and a hard person too. I so hope Juska writes a book just about her and her family.

The book does deliver some stories of her dating for sex, before she turns 67. I feel she just is like a teenager--acting out, and not being wise about her choices. She puts herself in positions, obvious to most-that only lead to hurt and pain. I do empathize with her though, for I have been there myself. Long distance love affairs are so bittersweet indeed. I picked this book up, for I too did the ad dating scene, in my mid 30's and kept a journal-per my father's suggestion. No sex, but a lot of oddballs out there. One dumped me, after the third date, for his mother did not approve of him dating a younger woman. Only 10 years-well he did live with her!

So much potential here, in one little book.

[Judith · Rating 5 out of 5]

i had heard about this book some time ago and then i kept seeing references to it in other things i read, so i decided to read it. what a delightful book. i am not sure men would enjoy it as much as women, but i could be wrong. the author put an ad in the personal section of the NY Times Review of Books, stating essentially that she wanted to have a lot of sex with a man she liked before she turned 67 on her next birthday. The book is a report of her adventures and it was both sadder and funnier than i expected. she is really brutally honest about herself and gives much more detail than i would in her place. she is also very humorous, mostly at her own expense. sometimes you get the feeling in a book that you are being set-up for a laugh. that never happens in this book. it all feels real and she writes so well that the humor sneaks up on you. i also found myself feeling protective of her, and wanting to warn her away from some of these callous jerks. although she's obviously very independent, she is also touchingly vulnerable.

[Rebecca]

Read this ages ago. Can't believe I forgot to add it. The title involves some false advertising. There is not nearly enough sex in this book.

[Jane · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jane Juska's personal ad basically summarizes this memoir:

"Before I turn 67 -- next March -- I would like to have a lot of sex with a man I like. If you want to talk first, Trollope works for me."

I don't know where I saw a review of this book, or why the book was even mentioned, given how relatively old it is, but the library had it so I checked it out on a whim. I didn't even remember what the book was about or what a round-heeled woman was (I'd never heard that phrase before the book) but I like memoirs.

So this book was surprisingly good. It was the author's first book, and you can tell pretty quickly that she is an experienced writer. Which is different from saying that I really liked the book -- there have been many skilled authors who write books that I just don't enjoy. In this particular case, I did happen to enjoy the book as well.

But it was Juska's writing that really got me -- the way she weaves the past events into her present story, the way she communicates her emotions. Just because someone is published does not mean that person knows how to write well. (I haven't read any of Lauren Conrad's books, but I'm going to guess she would be a good example of this.)

There are a lot of sloppy books published. In this one, you can tell every word is there for a reason and that the author actually spent time deciding what to write, what order to write it in, and what should remain and what should get cut. It's the kind of book I need to read more carefully some day, so that I can study how to better combine words to create an impact.

[Julia Williamson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Strong start which in my opinion petered out. The title is completely false advertising! This is a memoir, with a twist, admittedly, but a dig-into-the childhood-and-failed-marriage memoir just the same. Ho hum. The dating part was fascinating but uneven in terms of detail. The author has an unnerving habit of varying tenses within a paragraph that I found quite exhausting. I did finish it, which should perhaps garner it more than two stars, but I admit to skimming a couple of chapters...

[Maryellen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Generally I liked this book, she is a very good writer. I thought it started out better than it finished. She doesn't write that much about sex and her quest for sex is rather deceptive because she complains about the lack of an emotional connection. I did get tired of her whineness. I guess I was looking more for a "Ride 'em Cowboy" story.

[Hanna · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is such a great premise, and I was all set to love this book, but I really didn't. The author is (sorry) not that likeable, and the men she meets are mostly sad, issue-ridden disapointments. Not much of an adventure.

[Sophie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Offbeat, compelling memoir of a 65 year old woman who placed a personal ad in the New York Review of Books looking for "lots of sex with a man [she liked]". Very enjoyable.

[Colleen O'Neill Conlan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love the idea of this book: a long-divorced woman in her mid-60s places an ad in the high-brow New York Review of Books personals looking "to have a lot of sex with a man I like." Not your typical long-walks-in-the-rain kind of personal ad. I wish I liked the actual book more.

The title, the subtitle (My Late-Life Adventures in Sex and Romance), and the jacket copy lead you to expect a saucier book when, in fact, it's pretty much an older woman's memoir with a bit of cross-country sex thrown in. So there is a lot of backstory: her high school and college years, her bad marriage, her weight gain/weight loss/80s-era aerobics classes, her five years of psychoanalysis (and her crush on her analyst), her teaching career, her volunteer work at the prison, her singing in the chorale group, her relationship with her mother (including a free-standing essay her sister asked her to write), her relationship with her father, etcetera and so forth.

That wouldn't be so bad - after all, it's good to root the present in the formative past - except that the narrative is pretty disjointed. The chronology jumps around, and sometimes the individual chapters jump around so that it's sometimes unclear where we are in her story. Some of the writing seems off-the-cuff, like it was lifted directly from her personal diary without changing a word. There are lots of parentheticals that detract from her story. Tighter editing would have helped tremendously. The story is there, it's just a little too scattershot.

There are parts of her reminiscences that seem to push the bounds, for instance, her teaching methodology, where she threatens to kiss the high school boys who are misbehaving in class. Or she'll mouth the words "I love you" to a miscreant, or tell a shrill-voiced ninth grader not to speak in class again "until your testicles drop." Or when she brags about having students read Playboy, Hustler, and Penthouse in her Women in Literature class. Sometimes she comes across as a bit smug, like she's saying, "Look at me pushing the envelope!" It's part of her voice, and part of her humor, and some of it IS funny, but sometimes it comes across as plain icky. In one instance she writes about being fourteen years old and driving at night with her father in his convertable, top down, starry night, Tommy Dorsey on the radio. It's one of those rare moments when a child, one among many, gets to share time alone with a parent and feel special. It starts out lovely, but then she compares her happiness to "a nice kind of sex." Ewww. Worse, she follows that with, "Not all the sex between me and my father was so pleasant" and continues with a story that has nothing at all to do with sex. Why? Sometimes it seems like she really wants to push this balls-to-the-walls persona, and for me it can go too far.

I like a woman with moxie, and Juska has that to spare. I admire her willingness to travel hither and yon to meet some of the men who respond to her ad, to put herself out there and ask for what she wants. Yes, she has sex with a few. Some she rejects, and some reject her. She has interesting correspondence and meetings with these men, which sometimes revolve around literature (LOVED the bit about Margaret Fuller). She certainly gets extra points for bedding a guy half her age. That takes a particular kind of bravery. Juska seems like a hoot, and she's written a fun memoir. But in truth, I liked the premise of the book more than I liked the book.

[Holly Marie St. Pierre · Rating 3 out of 5]

Before I started writing a book about my mid-life dating experiences, I went to Powell’s to check out the competition. In the Relationships section, I made a list and check marked Jane Juska’s book as a must-read. One thing and another happened and after two years I finally got around to it. But after 50 pages in, my well-nurtured anticipation flagged like a three-day-old helium balloon.

The problem is her title. One assumes the book would center on the outcome of her personal ad in The New York Review of Books, “Before I Turn 67 – next March – I would like to have a lot of sex with a man I like.” However, the content suggests more appropriate titles would be, “Why I Was Celibate for 33 Years” or “Getting Back in the Saddle Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up to Be.” Okay, the last title is lousy, but at least it doesn’t lead you on.

While the recounting of her dating frolics and disasters is engaging, it is mostly a sideline to the stories about growing up with her parents, her work as a high school English teacher and volunteering as a writing instructor at San Quentin prison. These of course are relevant influences on her sexual attitudes, but she adds pages and pages of unrelated incidents – things like Latin lessons with her mother while they cook dinner, class discussions with students that have nothing to do with romance or sex – and blurs the focus. I wanted to concentrate on why Jane was a stranger to sex for a very, very long time after her divorce and her joyous or cursed reunion with it. Just when the book was getting really interesting -- she sends an email to her lover, 33 years her junior, inviting him to visit her for a week at a lake house rental -- she ends it. What?! Despite the book’s abrupt conclusion and meandering narrative, I didn’t hate it.

Jane’s descriptions of the awkward, scary and sensual moments of sex deserve praise for their disturbing images and poignancy. Her journey of self-discovery is fascinating and reveals the plight of the female ego. Hers is a brave exploration of the differences between the sexes responses to and expectations of sex and the resulting humiliation and astonishment women often experience. This is substantial grist for the feminist and relationship mills I could read about for the rest of my life.

P.S. I just noticed on Google this was adapted to a play and performed at London’s West End by Sharon Gless. I guess someone felt better about it than I did.

[Elizabeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book synopsis indicates that this book focuses primarily on the personal ad Juska placed ("Before I turn 67-next March-I would like to have a lot of sex with a man I like.") It does tell the tale of her ad, the response, and the results of her emotional and physical journey, but that story is equally balanced with Juska's recounting of her past. The tales of the men she meets are interwoven with stories of her family life, her teaching career, her failed marriage, and her parenting hits and misses.

I honestly found the memoir aspects of the book more interesting than the details of her love affairs and sexual encounters. Her discussion of her parents and of growing up in the midwest in the 40s and 50s piqued my interest, whereas the information about the various men in her life merely raised my eyebrows. I was especially interested in the chapter about her tenure teaching prisoners at San Quentin; I wish she would have written a memoir about that, instead of her misguided sexual escapades.

The one thing I really fault the book on is the overuse of quotations; I get that Juska is well-read and intellectual, and I don't need to see a bit of poetry or a witty line from an obscure writer presented on every other page to remind me of that. I know that this is Juska's first book, and that the quoting is probably an earmark of amateur writing, but I would rather read her words than someone else's.

Overall, it was an entertaining book, but I probably would never have picked it up if it hadn't been a bookclub selection.

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book right after my (second) divorce... was a perfect time to read about an intelligent older (older than me!) woman taking risks to seek pleasure, joy and even love. While I agree with those who have issues with her approach and degree of risk-taking: I found many gems of wisdom.

"Therapy costs money, but so does lying flat on your own bed, able to live a life only dimly lit."

"I knew when I decided to fill my life fully, I could not choose only the good parts. And I did it anyway. "

She quotes Edna St. Vincent Millay: It well may be that in a difficult hour; I might be driven to sell your love for peace, Or trade the memory of this night for food. It well may be. I do not think I would.

Being with a younger man: SO far nothing seems to have discouraged him: not my tears, not my wine-swilling, not the lines in my face, spots on my hands, yellow on my teeth, bifocals on my eyes. If not, never fear. I remain in possession of my secret and most powerful deterrent: my body.

Over the short time we had been together, Graham had gotten older and I had gotten younger. By the time he returned to his skyscraper we were just about the same age.

Life just keeps coming at you. Make no mistake, its out to get you, and in the end it will. But every so often, you can catch a piece of it and make it do what you want it to, at least for a little while

[Nicki · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyed, but it does tend to ramble off in other directions at times. I liked the basic idea, something very different from such an older person. I did feel frustrated at times with her for putting up with such idiots. I mean, honestly - old enough to know better! Then again, she was knowingly seeing attached men, so I guess she didn't have the bar raised very high to start with.
I didn't dislike her as some readers seem to. It sounds like she had a hard life and she did the best she could with her marriage and raising her son. Also hints at some type of abuse from her father, is vague at times, so hard to know for sure. I thought she was very brave, if a bit foolish. I can understand her fears of being alone forever, but I think she has very bad self esteem and lacks respect for herself. She tries to hide this by hiding behind intelligence and only seeking guys who are similar. I don't believe for a minute she is actually that snobbish due to her work teaching prisoners and her care for them.
Overall a sad story. Yes, she met some men and settled some cravings, but really got treated like dirt too. The younger guy at the end is the nicest, and that is left open - hopefully she found happiness in the end, but I do question the guys motives.

[Carol Pearson · Rating 3 out of 5]

No doubt about it; Juska is a writer and a good one. The narratives flow, the grammar is impeccable and her adventures in late-life romance make for some interesting scenes to be sure. She is courageous (for even attempting this), creative in her approach to finding affection and companionship, and brave for sharing this story with the world.

So why did I find it so hard to like her? I really wanted to. What woman dares to risk this much and then unabashedly share her story with the world? I really, really wanted to like her. And I couldn't. Why is that?

It took me about two days of contemplation, pondering if she called up something about myself that touched a nerve. Yes, she sure did (and probably for any woman honestly reading her story), but it's more than that. It comes down to the massive gulf between what she advertises for (lots of sex with someone she likes) and what she really, truly wants...love. And then blames the men for not being able to provide.

It's this disconnect, even dishonesty that bothers me most of all. And if that was my lesson to learn -- know your heart and be honest about it -- then it was well worth the uncomfortable hours spent mulling this over.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Imagine a humorous sex memoir written by your grandmother, only without the gross-factor, because she's not actually your grandmother. That's what I was expecting when I picked up this book, and, for the most part, that's what I got. There were descriptions for the curious of sex in the older population, but overall this book was less sex-blog and more life story centered around a quest for physical companionship in old age. Juska has an admirable sense of humor, and writes intelligently. There are some amazing quotes to be found here. However, don't expect completely light-hearted or titillating stories, she exposes her demons as well as her d-cups. This is part of the reason for my 3-star rating; for a book purported to be about late-life adventures in sex, there was too much focus on her past as a single-mother, her parents, her feelings of failure. I think it may have made me cry at one point. But, definitely worth a read, and I'm looking forward to reading her follow-up book, Unaccompanied Women: Late-Life Adventures in Love, Sex, and Real Estate.

[Lara · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Before I turn 67 - next March - I would like to have a lot of sex with a man I like. If you want to talk first, Trollope does it for me". So reads the eye-catching & intriguing personal ad Jane Juska put in the New York Times.

This is a memoir, not only of those dates, some good, most absolutely dire. But Jane intersperses her search for a man who will stimulate her mind as well as body (and offer accommodation while she falls for New York culture) with recall of her childhood, years as an inspired teacher, in school and prison, and her lousy mothering skills.

She is a talented, funny, self-deprecating writer, brutally honest and rather vulnerable, and seemingly a glutton for punishment flying from California to her New York dates and pursuing terrier-like some very odd guys.

I would be interested to find out what her analyst makes of her (and yes, she'd like a date with him too).

[Rebecca I · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book like very few. It is the voice of an older woman and her self exploration at the age of 66 and on. She determines that there is a lack of sex in her life and goes about taking care of the problem. Well written, it is the true story of an exploration of love, sex, and what it is that women and men want in these realms. A brave answer to the problem is a personal ad, even though she had no idea what would happen. It says a lot about how all of us go about life and find out the ups and downs of literally getting what you ask for. The author was a bit pessimistic about her own worth at first, and then she realizes that all choices we make have consequences; some of them good.

[Tamela · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this a couple or more years ago. I can't remember if I found it humorous or sad, I think perhaps both. I did like the way she laughed about things and followed through on her attempt to find good sex (but she did a fair amount of whinny too). It is a pain to get old; but we have to be realistic while we're doing it. Don't make it seems like "oh my gosh", what's happened to me? We are who we are even if we're not so young anymore.

[Patrice · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a great read for anyone interested in psychology and women's studies. It is written by an older woman about her adventures and misadventures in dealing with love as an older person. Juska is hilarious!

[Monica · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was ok. Good enough that I'm going to read her sequel. I liked the narrator, partly because I enjoy reading about other women who live in Berkeley. But the book kind of went all over the place, and I wound up skimming parts.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every single woman over 50 should read this book. The author is unflinchingly honest (well, she does flinch a little) in reporting her quest for a partner to share late life sex. I found her to be heroic.

[Kim Cl · Rating 2 out of 5]

Het verhaal had een zeer leuke start en leek veelbelovend, maar na een tijdje bleek het minder op gang te komen. Er zit veel afleiding en zijtakken in het verhaal wat het soms verwarrend maakt.
Ik ben ook niet zeker wat ik van het einde moet vinden.