Flatscreen

by Adam Wilson

Flatscreen tells the story of Eli Schwartz as he endures the loss of his home, the indifference of his parents, the success of his older brother, and the cruel and frequent dismissal of the opposite sex. He is a loser par excellence—pasty, soft, and high—who struggles to become a new person in a world where nothing is new.

Into this scene of apathy rolls Seymour J. Kahn. Former star of the small screen and current paraplegic sex addict, Kahn has purchased Eli’s old family home. The two begin a dangerous friendship, one that distracts from their circumstances but speeds their descent into utter debasement and, inevitably, YouTube stardom.

By story’s end, through unlikely acts of courage and kindness, roles will be reversed, reputations resurrected, and charges (hopefully) dropped. Adam Wilson writes mischief that moves the heart, and Flatscreen marks the wondrous debut of a truth-telling comic voice.

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Novels, Adult, Contemporary, Drugs, Literary Fiction

330 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2012

About the author

Adam Wilson is the author of the novel Flatscreen, a National Jewish Book Award finalist, and the collection of short stories What's Important Is Feeling. His stories have appeared in The Paris Review, Tin House, VICE, and The Best American Short Stories, among many other publications. In 2012 he received the Terry Southern Prize, which recognizes "wit, panache, and sprezzatura" in work published by The Paris Review. He teaches creative writing at Columbia and NYU and lives in Brooklyn.

Reviews

[Carrie Ardoin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eli Schwartz doesn't have much going for him. He's a couple years out of high school but doesn't attend college. In fact, he doesn't do much of anything. He lives in his mom's basement, caught in a numbing cycle of drugs, internet surfing, and loneliness. The only things he has going for him are his love of cooking and his hyperactive imagination, which he combines with his immense knowledge of movies and TV to create scenes in his head featuring the people in his world.

So needless to say, he isn't too happy when his mother tells him that she is selling the house where he grew up. The house is quickly bought by a crippled, washed up actor named Kahn. Eli and Kahn form an inexplicable friendship that is awkward but fulfilling.

Eli struggles with the idea of being forced to change, and the story is told as he navigates through his sad existence, trying to cope and looking for something to anchor himself to.

It took me a little while to get into this story. For the whole first half, I was wondering what the point was. But I guess that was supposed the be it--the story had nowhere to go because Eli was going nowhere. When I finally got to the turning point, the story picked up speed and got interesting.

The characters are all done very well. Eli was not the best narrator I've ever had in a book. His thoughts moved fast and as a result the book is an annoying jumble of run on sentences that compose entire paragraphs. But I get it. His head was a mess.

Eli does not have a normal relationship with anyone in his life, and I'm still not sure if that was because of Eli himself, or that everyone he knows is so deeply flawed. The character I liked best was his mother, even though their relationship made me slightly uncomfortable at times...but I think most of that was a result of how she was viewed through Eli's mind.

I'd give this story 3 1/2 stars. I liked that Eli was somehow self-aware and incredibly naive at the same time. It made for an interesting character study, at least. This book wasn't as LOL funny as all the blurbs would have you believe, but to the right audience it is worth a read anyway.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

If an episode of "Community" and one of those Hold Steady songs about college townies had a novelized lovechild, it would probably end up looking something like Flatscreen. It's aggressively self-aware, and replete with pop culture references, alternate universe endings, and bizarre characters. It's also incredibly dirty and druggy.

To date, I had only read glowing reviews, which I think overhyped the novel a bit. Flatscreen has its moments of humor, but it's never laugh-out-loud funny. The secondary characters are believable, but not especially complex. Several chapters read like those stories that stoners tell: "One time I was so high..." that aren't funny to anyone but the person telling it.

There's still a lot to love here. Eli, the slacker misfit protagonist who spends more time with trashy TV than actual human beings, makes for a great narrator. His struggle to connect with friends, family, and women are surprisingly sympathetic. His endless pop culture analysis is entertaining and brilliant. The most impressive part of Flatscreen, in my opinion, is that it lets Eli grow a bit, not melodramatically, but believably, slowly, in a humanizing way.

[Mr T · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny.and sad in all the right places

[giuliadellestelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

All Alone is All We Are


- accompagnamento musicale obbligatorio:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYqyLm...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ydhMX...

- accompagnamento musicale opzionale:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFnA-8...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQQ2gT...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8k-sTG...


Già leggendo poche recensioni si intuisce una facile verità:
il protagonista, l'ingombrante Eli Schwartz,è un loser della peggior specie, un pappamolle maleodorante e verbalmente ripugnante, roba da far impallidire il Creep urlato dai Radiohead. Ebreo blasfemo, uno schifoso inetto e viziato incapace di svegliarsi la mattina dando un senso a una qualsiasi delle sue giornate. Poco più che ventenne ha una sola passione sana, quella per la cucina, e una collezione di vizi che bastano a riempire una vita intera; Eli perennemente in vestaglia cola grasso, droghe sintetiche, alcool, sesso sporco e incerto come incerta è tutta la sua esistenza sfilacciata, in bilico, buffa. Ha una situazione familiare comunemente disastrosa, perde la casa piena di comfort in cui era cresciuto e si ritrova completamente incapace di riadattarsi a qualsiasi situazione sentimentale-spaziotemporale. Eli è un disadattato cronico, malato terminale d'amore che non può ricevere e non riesce a dare.
Quell'amore universale e pulito, unica cura in grado di salvarlo.
Insieme a Seymour Kahn, ex attore di basso rango finito in carrozzella, amico fedele di distruzione eppure sua unica promessa di rinascita.
Ma Eli non è un giovane Holden, sia chiaro; non è nemmeno paragonabile al Mattias di "Che ne è stato di te, Buzz Aldrin?", che tanto avevo amato. Il suo non è un diario, non è un resoconto, non è un percorso di formazione che porterà alla salvezza, non è un tentativo di fuga né una richiesta d'aiuto.
Piuttosto, la meticolosa costruzione di una schiacciante e rassicurante al tempo stesso Solitudine.
In questo libro si raccolgono una serie di ipotetici finali della vita di un ragazzo che non trova la forza di iniziare a vivere, il tutto accompagnato da una scrittura burbera ma tanto autentica da sembrare quella di un fratello. il suo, il mio, il nostro.
"A mio fratello" scrive l'autore del romanzo Adam Wilson.
...ed è con quell'odio/amore tipicamente fraterno che Schwartz si racconta e si fa amare. perché alla fine proviamo repulsione per lui, ma anche un profondo affetto. e tutti i calci in culo che vorremmo dargli diventano carezze urgenti, fazzoletti tesi ad asciugare lacrime che escono dal suo corpo devastato troppo di rado. Eli è la tenerezza che ci urta, perché associata erroneamente a debolezza. la sua, la mia, la nostra.

Finale possibile n°20:
Eli fuma, fissa la neve, brama amore e lo trova in noi, che lo troviamo dolce, sensibile, buffo (non nel senso dispregiativo che pensa lui), fin troppo intelligente e persino bello.
un ragazzo da amare, come tanti e nessuno.
Chiediamo a Eli di cucinare per noi.
Eli Schwartz si salva salvandoci.

FINE.

[Jennifer Rayment · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Good Stuff

Totally bizarre and unique
Some of the dialogue (and inner dialogue) is LMAO funny
Good writing
Excellent character development
All of the characters feel very realistic like people you would see on the street
Dark and quirky - sort of reminds me of something that Apatow would make into a movie

The Not So Good Stuff

Eli is a loser and I just found myself disliking him and feeling uncomfortable because he was so pathetic
Language is over the top base and vulgar at times & I am no prude, but it just really irritated me
This is definitely one that men will enjoy more
This was not my sort of book, so its hard to review positively - but please Adam if you read this review do not be offended, its just not my bag - you got talent though

Favorite Quotes/Passages

"She's a sucker for men who are the opposite of me," Kahn said. "In that I taught her well."

"She'd bought a Mercedes SUV after the divorce, but sold it later to pay medical bills when her brother got prostrate cancer. Now Ned was dead and I bet she wished she'd kept the car, as the money she'd spent on health care didn't help in the end, and the medical costs had sealed her fast as a social pariah among the wallet-conscious women of Quinosset."

"If you don't write back just know that I don't mean anything weird by this message. I'm a good soul who's gone a bit off the deep end. My brother is a nerd, my mother is a drunk, my father is an asshole. I'm trying here, I'm really trying. Please write me back."

Who Should/Shouldn't Read

Hate to be sexist but this is one I think will appeal to the male reader
Those who like something just a little bit different, this one is for you
Think my brother would like this one

3 Dewey's


I received this from HarperCollins in exchange for an honest review

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a decent read.

I really liked the unique descriptions Adam Wilson uses throughout the book, as well as, the bullet point lists. What I didn't like was the blurb on the front cover toting how 'hilarious' this book was because I'm not sure it's meant to be a comedy, per say. A comedy of errors maybe, because Adam Wilson uses humor to cover up Eli Schwartz's insecurities, makes uncomfortable situations more bearable, and hides all the character's inner sadnesses. These are all great ways to use humor in my mind, as they are true to life, but they didn't leave me peeing my pants or snorting water out of my nose. That's when I know things are hilarious.

However, I would recommend this book to others. Guys my brother's age, 25-30, who are just trying to figure things out; especially when they have had mother's who either didn't care or cared way too much, would probably enjoy this book more than I did and I think they would be able to relate to this modern slacker tale really well. If I was still a senior in high school (which thankfully I am not) Eli Schwartz and I would have been friends. He's a way cool character. I especially liked his bathrobe fashion statement.

[Jack Cheng]

A little disappointed at the guys who blurbed this book. I didn't nearly die from laughter, like Gary Shteyngart, nor did I find this bleakly funny like Tom Perotta (Yes, I'm calling out blurbers!)

This is the story of Eli, a slacker who didn't go to college and takes a lot of drugs, masturbates, and is told he is "funny" so he manages to get laid every once in a while. (A 3 year drought suddenly erupts into casual encounters with a former classmate, the mother of a former classmate, and even sort of a girlfriend.) Life is in decline since his parents' divorce; his father has a new family he spends most of his time with, his mother is depressed, Eli lives in a basement until mom has to sell the house. There are guns and wheelchairs, cocaine, marijuana, and Viagra consumption, and a sense of humor that seems to find gross and bleak hilarious.

Not my cup of tea. Why did I finish it? It takes place in my town, with obvious substitutions like the Pine Hill Mall for Chestnut Hill, various synagogues and parks are mentioned, etc.

If you don't live in Newton, MA, I'd save my time.

[Marica · Rating 2 out of 5]

The epigraph on the front cover said “I nearly up and died from laughter” and I can only imagine the author of that quote was saying it in a fictional, sarcastic way.

[Meryl · Rating 3 out of 5]

FLATSCREEN was a fun fast read, if you have a depressing idea of fun. The prose was moving and poetic. Wilson painted an interesting depiction of the inner lives of the dysfunctional people who reside in an upper-middle class predominantly Jewish suburb.

Twenty year-old Eli Strauss’s conflict begins when his mother sells his childhood home where he has been purposelessly toiling away since his high school graduation, to Seymour Kahn, a disabled drug addicted former actor/porn star. Being uprooted from his comfort zone pushes Eli further into depression. Eli is dying to return home in a metaphorical and physical sense. He befriends Kahn after Kahn asks him to get him drugs and is reeled into Kahn’s last cling to a life that’s fading away faster than he can light a joint. Kahn serves as both a weirdly wise mentor and a partner in self-destruction.

Besides Kahn and his brother Benjy, most of the supporting characters were not very well developed. I know that in life, many issues are never understood, but extreme ambiguity is not very satisfying form a novelistic standpoint. Eli often wonders about the time when his father was missing from 1975 to 1976 without ever giving an explanation as to where he was. This was very strange since Eli wasn’t alive then and the mystery never gets resolved. As a reader, I didn’t really care since it had little effect on Eli’s life as far as I could tell and the issue never sheds any light on Eli’s internal conflicts. The fact that we don’t learn much about the motivations of the other characters in his life weakens the tension.

I didn’t believe that Eli was the age he was supposed to be. As a 29 year old (Wilson’s age as well), I found myself relating to almost all of the television references that Eli mentioned, but felt that if Eli was four years younger he would probably have a different frame of pop culture references to draw from. He would also have a more intense relationship with social media. I think Wilson could have set the book in a year more reflective of his own knowledge to make it more believable.

[David Dinaburg · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the book but found it personally distasteful. I don't like sex in my media; it makes me uncomfortable. I do not to critique others for my bizarre, puritanical bent. Sex is normal and fine and good, but I don't like hearing about it, reading about it, seeing it. Don't make out on subway cars. I'll like a romance well enough, but as soon as physical intimacy is described, I don't see what benefits are to be gained by adding explicit details. Offscreen implications of raucous behavior, sure: anything else feels gratuitous. A novel where sexual details are frequent and integral to the work was difficult for me to reconcile with my personal feelings. I probably would have passed if I had read a review first. But I ended up liking it, a lot. I am just uncomfortable recommending it to anyone, ever.

The story is punch-in-the-gut depressing: believable in, not despite, its absurdity. The writing is so strong that it somehow bridges a readable simplicity with purposefully opaque prose that requires focus to untangle. It's modern, academic. Collegiate writing that isn't a struggle. The amoebic plot shows clear signs of an author that is a voracious reader: a weariness of central, driving plot; an aversion to neatly wrapped narrative.

It doesn't lend itself well to excepts because there is a particular rhythm, a flow there that requires cohesiveness. Pulling an excerpt that feels insightful when buried in the point of view of the narrator comes across as shallow and preachy when cut and pasted into a breakdown. It's not funny, I didn't think. It's sad. It's uncomfortable. It's sometimes distasteful, and uncomfortable if you're squeamish regarding salacity. But it's worthwhile, an old-fashioned modern humanistic novel.

[Jonas Blank · Rating 5 out of 5]

Visceral, to-the-gut writing and hard-edged, dark humor made Flatscreen a winner for me. It takes us deep into Eli's psychology and gives a bleak take on post-Millennial life.

Eli's a jerk, but so what? His observations are humorous, personal and inventively rendered. I don't think the material is any more "vulgar" than John Updike, Hunter S. Thompson or any other successful writers of their respective ilk. It depicts life without a pleasant false veneer, without manners or varnish. In that sense, it is a triumph. This is a psychological novel, not a plot-driven potboiler.

This book bears the hallmarks, in terms of stylistic choices (self-conscious dropping of definite articles) and structure ("fake" chapters, alternate endings) of someone educated in an MFA program. Depending on how much you crave convention in what you read, that might either fascinate or annoy you. I felt a twinge of the latter at times, but I thought this mostly fell on the right side of the line.

Women need not run from this, unless they'd rather not know how horrible what goes on in men's heads can be. For those who only want to read cheery, likable characters, rather than people from real life, may I kindly recommend the YA section of your bookstore?

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

The reader is alive. I read Adam Wilson's FLATSCREEN. It was very funny and wet. Wilson is a writer who is not afraid to be wet and by wet I mean full of heart. What an imagination he has! It's hi-def Portnoy 8.0 -- bulleted, netflixed, skiied, domed and quarterlife-crisised. I dreamt one of the characters from FLATSCREEN was Kathy Bates in Misery, but a male Kathy Bates with tentacles. This book is a pleasure. So curious to see what Wilson writes next.

[Georgette · Rating 2 out of 5]

You know, the first 45 pages of this were hysterical. However, as it went along, it got more and more disarming, and just sad. It turned out to be a sad little book. I guess it's supposed to be darkly comic, but I just found the dark. It's probably something I can go back months from now and read, but in the meantime, I have to say I'm not digging it at this moment.

[Josh Drimmer · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't know where the initial recommendation came from, but this was the rare book I got through 7 pages of, said to myself, "I'm really not enjoying these jokes, and they're just gonna keep coming," and had to put down and send back. Overly jokey books can get on my wrong side quickly- I really liked, but sometimes was worn down by "The Ask," for example.

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wilson's voice is Bukowski-esque, but there is far more substance, plot development, and character depth in this novel than anything I've read by Bukowksi. Adam Wilson has a real gem here. I loved this book. Eli is a dead-beat, lazy pothead, but readers can't help but to care about him. I'd recommend this book to the younger crowd, and I'll definitely be nagging my friends to read it.

[Gino Alfonso · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing novel if Woody Allen, John Hughes and David O. Russell had an illigimate child it would be Adam Wilson and his characters. Superbly funny and poignant had me laughing on every page and thinking about some of my own choices in life. Can't wait for a movie, but it would have to be done by the right filmmakers. Thanks for the nostalgia Adam!

[Rob Blackwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

a really elegant way of talking about a post-high school wastoid. addicted to drugs, not because of any big trauma, but just bc he can't bear the subtle indiscretions of life. told in a really fascinating, jumpy, internet-brained way. i think this needs more readings. i'm happy to give it more readings. really enjoyed it

[Katie Myers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful. All the things I want from a book, but am scared of for my life.

[Mary Lynn Archibald · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gross but good.

[Max Nussenbaum · Rating 4 out of 5]

Apparently I read this book in college, or shortly after. I have no memory of doing so, but I found an old note in my notes app indicating that I'd really liked it, so I decided to read it again. As my past self foretold, I enjoyed it! But also found it a little trifling. The voice is unique and memorable, it's quite funny at times, but most of the story is ultimately forgettable. It's also so very obviously Sam Lipsyte-influenced that when I learned, in the acknowledgments, that Lipsyte had been the author's teacher, I wondered if he felt like he was being ripped off a little when he read the drafts.

[Melissa McCauley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eli Schwartz is a non-so-lovable loser. Rich kid from a Boston suburb who barely finished high school because he spent all his time stoned; no college, no job, no life. Eli and his mother both seem to be caught in a cycle of depression since the divorce four years ago. When his mom decides to make a change and announces she is selling the family home, Eli is thrown into a tizzy and does almost everything possible to avoid growing up. Although the book is well-written, I had to force myself to keep reading to find out what happened (spoiler: not much) because it was really depressing.

[Pete Camp · Rating 2 out of 5]

Slacker befriends man In wheelchair when said man buys slacker’s boyhood home. Said slacker lives with mom and has no direction in life and has a penchant for substance abuse. Failed relationships ensue , attempts at redemption and reconciliation with parents don’t quite materialize but said slacker incrementally gains a semblance of redemption and direction. Not an original plot line, some amusing scenes , especially involving the man in the wheelchair.

[Bridget · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was so bleak and depressing. I was assuming it had to lead to some sort of uplifting conclusion, but if it happened, I missed it. I guess I should add that Eli had a bit of the romantic in him and a love of cooking that gave him some potential as a human being and could have led to possible job skills. I wish the author had left us with something at least that optimistic.

[Marco Landi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Divorato.. Spassoso, divertente, caustico..
Lo stile ricorda Palahniuk, ma di lui manca la genialità nella trama.. Una perfetta fotografia della "generazione boh", del malessere che si portano dietro dai disastri familiari...
Molto poco political correct.. Veramente irriverente.. Peccato non avete nient'altro di questo creativo autore

[Melissa McGuire · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't even know what to say about this book. The whole first part had no story development and I was bored I couldn't get into it. The second part was okay. But the third part is where everything made sense and Eli smartened up and started being a adult

[Joe · Rating 1 out of 5]

A dreadful disgusting tale of a 20-yr old degenerate unemployed junkie loser obsessed with sex and dick jokes. Exceptionally juvenile nonsense that came close to a DNF but I hoped would redeem itself. It doesn’t.

[Earl · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not quite used to this contemporary Jewish fiction, but I enjoyed all the film references, the light storytelling, and the way characters interacted with each other.

[Peter Edmondson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not sure

Not sure about this one
Not likely to have another go at it either
Only 2 out of 5 from me

[Gabriele Carbo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Non so bene se mi sia piaciuto o no ma gli scrittori che hanno la convinzione che un non finale sia un finale, sbagliano.
Voglio sapere che fine abbia fatto Alison.

[Jen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wilson tries to be Palahniuk. Unfortunately, he imitates the style well. I didn't like this novel. Nothing really happens, and the story is told with crass and vulgar language. For me, a flop.