The Shy Single: A Bold Guide to Dating for the Less-than-Bold Dater

by Bonnie Jacobson, Sandra J. Gordon

Nearly 50 percent of adults in the United States describe themselves as chronically shy, and an even larger number are single. These numbers prove what we already There are a lot of us sitting home alone, letting the dating world pass us by. But it doesn't have to be that way! In The Shy Single , New York psychologist Bonnie Jacobson outlines her breakthrough program that helps shy men and women securely maneuver any social situation. At the heart of the book is her confidence-boosting plan for managing the three stages of a shyness attack A dating profile quiz, journaling exercises, cumulative courage-rating scores, and real testimonies from Dr. Jacobson's extraordinarily popular shyness workshops round out the "coach's corner" advice for shy daters on how
- Work a room and get past awkward introductions
- Participate in dinner conversations and bridge uncomfortable silences
- Ask someone out
- End a date gracefully
- Handle sexual advances The aim of The Shy Single is not to make us un-shy, but to enable us to function despite our pounding hearts and sweaty palms. With small, manageable steps, we can gain self-assurance and learn how to finesse awkward or possibly embarrassing situations. Navigate a room with small talk? No problem. Ask out a coworker? No sweat. Make the first move in an intimate situation? You bet. From going online to declining a second date to determining whether we've found "the one," Dr. Jacobson shows us that dating happiness isn't just for other, more outgoing people--it's for us.

Genres: Relationships, Nonfiction

223 pages, Paperback

First published June 12, 2004

Reviews

[Callie · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were some good tips about dealing with shyness and minor anxiety in various situations. The recurring assumption that shyness and introversion are the same thing was annoying. Introversion wasn't really discussed, but being extroverted and social was presented as the ideal.

[Douglas Lord · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jacobson (applied psychology, New York Univ.) strives to help readers understand shyness--that "paralyzing fear that melts your self-confidence"--and its impact on courtship. Encouragement about managing the difficulty at times sounds like an AA credo: "accept it, work with it, and live with it." Avoidance techniques are eschewed for those that diminish the fear's intensity (e.g., embracing and learning about shyness and recognizing triggers). The agreeably pedestrian writing chugs along, and practical, positive tips abound, e.g., "for a first date ... choose clothes that make you feel beautiful, handsome, sexy, and free." Recommended.

Find reviews of books for men at Books for Dudes, Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal. Copyright Library Journal.

[Maggie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Okay I got this book for free when I volunteered for the Friends of the Library sale. It mainly uses CBT techniques, but I figure if I can get something to help, I'll try!
Well it took me a while to read this one because it kept wanting me to look at past experiences, which is hard when you haven't had any. There are some good pointers though, and helped me understand what might be going on. Now I just need to meet people who knows people to set me up with so I can have some dating experience to practice!!

[Peace · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm so ashamed of myself for reading this.