Painfully Shy: How to Overcome Social Anxiety and Reclaim Your Life

by Barbara G. Markway, Gregory P. Markway

* Do you feel shy and self-conscious in social situations?
* Are you plagued with self-doubts about how you come across to others?
* Do you feel physically sick with worry about certain situations that involve interacting with others?
* Do you make excuses, or even lie to avoid the social situations you dread?
* Do you make important decisions based on whether you'll have to participate in groups or speak in front of others?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you're not alone. Millions of people experience social anxiety of painful shyness to such a degree that it disrupts their daily lives. In fact, as many as one out of every eight Americans will at some point suffer from what's called social anxiety disorder, or social phobia.

Social anxiety disorder is a real problem. But fortunately, it's also one that can be overcome.

Drs. Barbara and Greg Markway, psychologists and experts in the field, coach you every step of the way in this warm, easy-to-read, and inspiring book. You'll learn how social anxiety disorder develops, how it affects all aspects of your life, and most importantly, how to chart your course to recovery.

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Personal Development, Personal Growth

288 pages, Paperback

First published April 7, 2001

Reviews

[Maryann · Rating 5 out of 5]

For those of you suffering from SAD please pick up this book. I grew up in the 70’s and 80’s and I thought there was something so wrong with me. I never heard of anxiety disorders! There is a better understanding today of SAD then there was when I was young and I have been dealing with this forever. I am 40 now…please don’t wait that long to start exploring and finding a cure.

This was a great starter book for me. It helped me identify another anxiety order I have which is GAD. Now I have something to start with and can begin the journey of self-improvement. Extremely well written and I highly recommend this book to anyone who suffers from SAD! Your not alone ;)

[Libby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book...I wish I had read this in college when my SA made my life literally hell. I was a bit cautious about this book because I didn't know if it would be all obvious stuff I already know about Social Anxiety Disorder but, I learned a lot of new stuff that can hopefully help me. I highly recommend.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is a very well written book and covered everything that I also learned in therapy. Alone reading this book helped to boost my motivation and my self-confidence by a lot. For someone who is into psychology, it was a very good read.

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I bought this book I was really skeptical. I've read a couple other books on the subject and felt like they didn't really have anything worthwhile to offer. This book is completely different. The other reason I was skeptical was because it's about social anxiety and I wasn't sure I really fit that or not.
I loved this book. The begining of the book she describes what social anxiety is and has some tests to help you find the parts you struggle with most. While doing that and throughout the book she gives a lot of hope. She offers an example from her practice in each section of the book as well as some stories from her own struggle with social anxiety. The steps are well explained and backed up with case studies and scientific studies. The whole book is easy to read and enjoyable. I've already noticed areas where I'm improving using her methods.

[Tracey · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is about how to over come your social phobia. There are many steps to over come your phobia. I really don't have a phobia so i would not no what its like.
the reason why people would like this is that it helps with your problems and make you less shy in the open where the world is like a stage.
the people that hate this book dont have a phobia or its not the right help for them so they get fustrated by it so that means dont read it.

[Lindsey VanderMay · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this was a great read on how to overcome social anxiety tendencies. It provides good insight that will hopefully help me in my own life. I feel like I have more confidence in myself after reading Painfully Shy.

[Richard Felix · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simply Suprised on how Great of a read this book is , I appreciate on how the author not only a trained license therapist many years under her belt wealth of wisdom but also that she has also has going thru many years struggling with social anxiety, A practical book to only be read but also apply in ones life , amazed on how accurate this book is regarding how mental health professionals help their patients , a lot that that is mentioned in this book has been taught to me in person by a mental health professional in solo sessions and in group therapy sessions.


Came out after reading this book with increased knowledge and enlarged Valuable understanding on this subject that is not easy for one self that has struggled like many others for countless years 😞 , what really stood out to me was what author mentioned about AVOIDANCE plus WORRY

“” Avoidance is the automatic reaction to FEAR,
Avoidance maintains ANXIETY
Avoidance prevents your THINKING Patterns from changing in, Worry keeps your BODY in a CONSTANT STATE of PHYSICAL TENSION , UNDERSTANDING what causes something points the way towards CHANGE ””””

A great book to read definitely not a waste of time you’ll benefit all guaranteed it 📖 👍🏻

[Susie]

I wish I read resources like this when I was younger. It feels uncomfortable to realize at this stage in my life how much social anxiety has impacted me.

[Carissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I must admit that I read the first half of this book years ago and just recently completed the second half. While I feel like I learned a lot and I always felt more motivated and hopeful while reading, I can't really say I felt like this book helped me, which is a huge bummer.

There were parts that I really liked. This book was well-written and one of the authors had experienced social anxiety first hand. I liked hearing about her struggles and what helped her. Another aspect I liked was that the authors mentioned spirituality as something that could help with social anxiety. My favorite chapter by far was the one on acceptance.

My least favorite part of this book was the author's recommendations about how and when to tell other people about social anxiety. They made it seem like a really big deal to tell people. From my experience, most people can relate to social anxiety, as almost everyone has suffered to one degree or another. The last book I read about social anxiety suggested being more open about problems with anxiety, that it didn't have to be this shameful thing. Thus, why I am able to write a review and admit to reading this book!

Three Stars.

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book very quickly because my supervisor recommended it for a client I was seeing who was dealing with social anxiety. Wanting to have a solid feel for it before I gave it to said client, I tore through it in a couple of days.

The only reason I'm not giving it five stars is that I want to wait to see how useful my client finds it. But I think it was very smart, down to earth, and useful. It certainly gave me a better sense of empathy for my client and a much better idea about how to approach working with social anxiety.

I would recommend this to anyone with social anxiety but also to those who have shy children, as it has some great information on how parenting style can help or hinder.

[Carolyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a wonderful book that has really helped me and gave me ideas on how to better tackle my social anxiety even when I am a rare case where I'm very social on the outside, but on the inside I feel deeply anxious about what I say and do to a point where I sometimes completely break down due to over worrying. I loved how much insight it gave me about social anxiety, and it made me feel less alone and better educated about my mental health. Not only that, but Barbara G. Markway always narrates to you in the way you hoped people would to you if someone were to help you, and she provides examples of other people suffering from social anxiety and how they handled it. This truly improves the quality of the book, and I greatly enjoyed it.

[Kitty · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really didn't go looking for this book - it just caught my eye at the library and I figured it was worth a look. Ultimately, I don't think it really "helped" me, but it did give me some food for thought. It's possible that I'm just not ready to be "cured". In fact, I'm not sure I've ever thought of my bashfulness as something that *could* be cured. This book has certainly given me a new perspective on "social anxiety disorder" - what it is, why some people suffer from it, how it can affect your life, and what to do about it.

[Elyse · Rating 3 out of 5]

I suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder and have ever since I was little. Lately, it's become a huge roadblock in my life, preventing me from doing anything outside of the house. When I found this book at the library, I had to get it. I was desperate.

I can't say yet that it was completely worth the read, as I have not yet followed its advice. But it gave me a comforting feeling so I have high hopes that it will be helpful.

[Tabitha (Tabi Thoughts) · Rating 4 out of 5]

There was definitely a lot that I felt like I could relate to in this book. Many concepts from this book may help ease my anxiety if I remember to instill them into my life. This book not only gave helpful advice, but allowed me to feel normal in the fact that I'm not alone. as well as that it offered plenty of interesting facts and information on social anxiety. I'm glad I took my psychiatrist's advice and read this book :-) -

[Lucy Wonsower · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very useful book. Fully of interesting case studies and helpful tools for overcoming shyness and social anxiety. I have found a lot of the information personally useful to help deal with anxiety. Markway did mention God a bit towards the end which didn't resonate with me, but otherwise a very solid and helpful read.

[Mark Yashar · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good resource for those with SA. The book describes the possible causes and symptoms of SA,
with many examples included. There is also a thorough discussion of treatments and ways of dealing
with SA, including CBT, spirituality, and medication.

[Tani · Rating 4 out of 5]

I learned that I'm not alone, that I really do have a problem, and that I'm doing ok.

[Katherine Macy · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is a lot of good advice in here, but as someone who has been dealing with this problem for almost 20 years, I've got to say I've heard most of it. Unfortunately, I think about the only thing that will really work for me in treating SAD is drugs. There's a whole chapter on that that I think is worth reading, as well as several thought provoking sections on the psychology behind this disorder.

Final thought: This book was written in the VERY early 2000s (there are several references to "video tapes") and it's actually kind of shocking how really nothing has changed in treatment options for this disorder since then.

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

Helpful if you haven’t spent weeks of your life looking into Social Anxiety Disorder. This book works as a (fairly outdated) introductory text to the topic.

There are chapters that I mostly skipped, as I was reading for self-interest, not concerned with how to parent S.A.D. children. Those might be good, but I’m skeptical.

In my personal experience, the advents of internet then smartphones then social media makes modern anxiety treatments VERY different from “ye olden days”.

I wouldn’t be against reading something on this topic by the same authors but written in 2018-or-later.

[Anatolij Grigorjev · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book seems a decent resource of techniques and stories about coping with crippling social anxiety

I am not as debilitatingly socially anxious in most situations as the people described here, but I also found some useful bits of information and ideas to consider for improving my daily life
The list of resources with books and websites that can be consulted for more in-depth information about everything therein is a very attractive feature

[Madhuri Devale · Rating 5 out of 5]

Was this social anxiety that i experienced??

This was a topic i browsed a lot to find very little anywhere. I could totally relate to things given here as i felt i was shy during my childhood. Author has thrown light on various issues about social anxiety. Definitely it will help a person suffering know he is not alone abd there are ways to get out.

[Mohammed · Rating 4 out of 5]

"مالم نتقبل المعاناة لا يمكن التحرر منها".

كتاب لطيف من الأخصائيين النفسيين "باربرا" و "ماركواي" ويستعرض طرق من العلاج المعرفي السلوكي بطريقة سلسلة ومبسطة مع أمثلة، والجدير بالذكر أن الكاتبة نفسها عانت من القلق الاجتماعي بفترة من
حياتها.


الكتاب راح يفيد الكثير خاصة المصابين بالقلق الاجتماعي بس إذا كان القلق عندك شديد فأنصحك تروح لمختص نفسي، لأن القلق الاجتماعي مثل كرة ثلجية مع الوقت يكبر.

[Aigul · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very useful and practical tips on various types of social disorders and phobias

[Sarcastically Yours Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

It helps you to understand where your social anxiety possibly stems from. Tips and techniques to approach the situation you fear. Tons of very good information on how to cope with it. My favorite part about it was the many included questions you could ask yourself to see if this or that applied to yourself. The chapter on kids and social anxiety was extremely informative, as I wondered about my own child because I suffer so badly with social anxiety. It is very in-depth in explaining how to relax yourself & reclaim your life.Really didn’t like how it kept referencing other authors, as I need all the dang books now!! It would be great for someone dealing with social anxiety or who has a loved one that is.

[Crystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

This would be a great book for anyone suffering from or working with social anxiety disorder.