2.5 stars. Good story, but not a good romance.
Many likes and dislikes with this one.
I am always a fan of openly gay sports players without all the drama of having to come out and face backlash. Immediate acceptance is always a big win in my book. Even the media gushing over Sol and Josh at the end, ugh so cute.
The hockey knowledge is top tier. This author definitely knows the game, I wouldn’t be shocked to find out if they played hockey at some point in their life. I even learned something new. I love a sports book with an actual focus on the sport. You get actual descriptions of games being played, and you could truly picture the games taking place in your heard while reading.
The struggles with addiction were captured realistically, ugly truth and all. No punches were pulled with depicting the emotional trauma that an addiction can have on the addict and the people around them. And it was even more compelling getting that story from two different vantage points. The subplot of the addict trying to help someone else from making the same mistakes? Chefs kiss. Sol risked his own sobriety to help others, and that level of strength is admirable. Honestly, Sol’s growth and development is one of the best parts of the whole story.
This book is inner monologue galore! It seems never ending, and it becomes monotonous and dry. And REPETITIVE! Chapters on chapters and paragraphs on paragraphs (sometimes back to back to back) of saying the SAME THING with just slight variations. The latter half of the book was much better with it but holy moly it took a lot to get there and it kind of kills the vibes.
Honestly don’t get how this is considered romance. There was no chemistry between the characters. They can claim they still had love for each other til they’re blue in the face but they surely didn’t act like it by constantly treating each other like trash. I get it, Josh and Sol have a rough history. You can’t forget about it with how often they mention it, but jfc if it was THAT BAD then just leave each other alone. It felt like the resentment and contempt towards each other would never end. I’m not sure where the romance was supposed to be in play when they legitimately did not like each other as people for most of this book. Even when they finally worked their issues out and got together, it didn’t feel like romantic love. It was giving more friendship than actual romantic relationship. This was a story on the struggles of a recovering addict and how they were rebuilding their life and relationships with the people they hurt, which is perfectly fine. But it definitely did not feel like a romance.
Overall, Josh was pretty horrible. “Oh I never stopped loving him” yea bulljive right there. He throws Sol’s addiction in his face every chance he can get. Sol is freaking trying here and it was like Josh wouldn’t accept it. “If nothing else, I wanna help you stay sober” then proceeds to throw in Sol’s face how he relapsed and can’t be trusted and yada yada yada. I’m sorry, but Josh helped put Sol in rehab ONCE at the beginning. Yes, thanks for that but Sol worked his butt off to get sober, work through relapses, and then get and stay sober again all WITHOUT Josh. Sol deserves his credit! I understood Josh’s concern, but if he wasn’t a DH about it then maybe Sol wouldn’t be standoffish towards him. Josh wasn’t helping anyone by being a pessimistic twat. It took forever for Josh to stop being a jerk, and at that point I was so over it I could barely even be happy about it.
Their communication STINKS. 30 and 32 years old and can’t talk without acting like raging toddlers. Or finish their sentences. So many of their fights are just the same rehashing of the same feelings and issues. “We can coexist at least” yet constantly fighting and bringing up the same crap, like go see a therapist together already. And the argument about Colfax could’ve totally been avoided if they just opened their mouths and acknowledged they both had the same suspicions. But no, Josh decided to throw Sol’s addiction back in his face and Sol, rightfully so, got defensive. Also, all Sol had to do was mention his concerns for Axel! Josh would’ve been happy to jump on the Protect The Rookie train right away. “I couldn’t explain the reason for hanging around an active user was to protect someone else” like what do you mean you can’t explain that? Just say it exactly like that???? Sol just made it harder for himself. But again, Josh sucks cause how is the concern another active addict on the team and how that can affect Sol’s sobriety but it’s Sol that he’s attacking? Josh was constantly yapping about “me me me and my feelings and what Sol destroyed” like yes, he was affected by Sol’s addiction and his feelings are valid. However, he was constantly bringing it up! Josh cared more about how the relationship was ruined and HIS feelings more than Sol having an actual addiction that was ruining his own life. And Sol acknowledged he was a terrible person for what he did back then! Sol didn’t deny it! Yet Josh kept acting like he did. We get it, Sol and his addiction ruined your relationship almost a decade ago, but like Josh was informed that doesn’t mean Sol is the same person!!!!! Honestly it felt like Josh WANTED Sol to relapse just so he could say “I told you so.” UGH!!!!!
I really was so excited for this book. Amazing premise and the author can clearly write in a compelling way. It just became so flat and boring. And the issues between Sol and Josh were SO dragged out and took forever to make progress in resolving. I like long books but when it drags out, it definitely kills enjoyability. Honestly if I didn’t pay for it, I probably would’ve DNFed. The last 40ish% of the book was the best because it actually felt like a progressing story.