The Last of What I Am: A Novel

by Abigail Cutter

A haunting and beautifully written novel about a Confederate soldier whose own personal war follows him into the afterlife—until one fateful day when his encounters with a modern-day couple change everything.
A ghost in his deserted childhood home in Virginia, Tom Smiley can’t forget the bloody war and its meaningless losses, nor can he shed his revulsion for his role in the Confederate defense of slavery. But when a young couple moves in and makes his home their own in the early twenty-first century, trouble erupts—and Tom is forced not only to face his own terrible secret but also to come to grips with his family’s hidden wartime history. He finds an unexpected ally in the house’s new owner, Phoebe Hunter, whose discoveries will have momentous consequences for them both.
 

Genres: Historical Fiction, Fiction, Book Club, Audiobook, Horror, Paranormal

320 pages, Paperback

Published September 19, 2023

About the author

Abigail Cutter started out as an artist/printmaker with a MFA from George Washington University, but during a long stint at the National Endowment for the Humanities, she developed a deep love of American history. She married a man who came with 200 acres and an 18th century farmhouse in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia. The farmhouse came with a very active ghost that inspired this book. She currently lives at both the farm and in the small town of Waterford, VA with her husband, a black labrador named Emma, and a cat that bites named Barnibi.

Reviews

[Montzalee Wittmann · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Last of What I Am: A Novel
by Abigail Cutter
I picked this up thinking it might be a good ghost story. Well, it was a ghost story in the barest of terms. It is a ghost telling a story of his life which was during the Civil War.
The history of the story was very authentic and plausible. It was a very good fictional history book with heartbreaking stories and realistic scenes. It was emotional and dark, just as the war had been.
So if you enjoy fictional history then this is for you. If you wanted a good ghost/horror story, skip it and try something else.

[Susan Morris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rounded up from 3.5 stars. A grimly realistic novel of the Civil War, rawly revealing the life of a Confederate soldier & his family he left behind. Living in the Shenandoah Valley, it was especially interesting to know the places described. Not a higher rating, because I felt it was described as a ghost story but it just felt tacked on rather than an integral part of the story. It was a worthwhile read to me as very realistic historical fiction of the brutality of war, but something in the writing was missing to me.

[Candace · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very uneven reading experience for me. It starts as a ghost story, which I was all in for, but then you lose that thread while you spend most of the book following along with a Confederate soldier's and his sister's experiences during the Civil War. That part, the bulk of the novel, was really interesting and well-written, though it dragged after he enters the camp. The connection between the past and the present-day stories is tenuous, an afterthought not really explored. So while I liked all of the pieces, I didn't feel they were cohesively integrated. And the ending definitely demoted my rating by one or a half star - spoiler below.

*spoiler*

So for the entire book, the protagonist has an anti-slavery attitude and voice that I wasn't sure was authentic for the time period, but then I considered that maybe in pockets of the South it could be. But that ending, when we learn that he's been hanging on this whole time because he feels guilty that he fought to defend greed and slavery - it seemed anachronistically progressive. The sentiment may have been true, but maybe the words he used seemed too present-day to be authentic.

Also, what are the chances that his ancestor marries a clairvoyant and they move into this house he's haunting and ultimately her telling him to let go of his guilt frees him? As much as I like that plot, it just didn't fit here.

[Hollie Hinkle · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is not at all what the cover describes it to be. I was hoping for a ghost story, but 99% of it was a first-person telling of the Civil War and could have easily been read as historical non-fiction. Tom’s interactions with Phoebe in present-time make up maybe a whole two pages of the entire book. There’s no doubt that this book was well-written, but I’m incredibly disappointed and upset that I wasted my time with it. If it had been accurately depicted, I never would have read this, and I honestly should have considered the other two star reviews and left this as a DNF. What a lousy way to wrap up 2023. I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone.

[Amanda Mercedes · Rating 4 out of 5]

This read was out of my normal avenue, but wow how historically eye-opening it was. Yes, the character himself may be fictitious, but the Civil War and all of its horror was very much real.
The book is told from the POV of the ghost of a Confederate soldier, who haunts his childhood home.
Part 1 shows how there is a new couple who comes into the house and starts to renovate it. In doing this, they throw away a lot of stuff and begin to dismantle the house within, which is this ghost’s essence. As changes are being made, Tom flashes back to his time as a soldier and we are brought to the war front.
We all know that the Confederate side was to uphold slavery, but this shows a perspective of those who initially signed up to defend their land, and then they were to caught up in the war and it was too late to leave once they realized the true evil of what they were fighting for. Tom did not condone slavery, and was actually horrified seeing what was happening, even as he was fighting the war. He initially volunteered as a late teen and didn’t really know a whole lot.
Part 2 dives more into the haunting itself, as Phoebe, one of the current owners, decides to help him. But we also see Tom’s time as a POW.

I was a little skeptical to pick this one up at first, as I didn’t particularly want to be made to feel sympathetic for a Confederate soldier, but I think it did show a different side to the war and how it was just all ugly. So many unnecessary atrocities and peoples’ true monstrous sides shown. I’m glad I took the chance and read it.

Thank you Get Red PR and Union Square & Co. for the copy of this book!

[Lisa Albright · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such an interesting idea for a book and living near Gettysburg and spending time there I know it's believed that there are many ghosts that remain from the Civil War era. There wasn't as much focus on the haunting as I was hoping for in this story, but there is a lot of well-researched history on the horrific events and trauma from those events that we are still learning from today. This is a thought-provoking read that reminds us of the devastation of war physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I received a gifted copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Michelle Villmer · Rating 4 out of 5]

A thought provoking and sobering look into the life of Confederate soldier Tom Smiley and the horrors he experiences in the bloodiest American conflict. Unable to forgive himself for long ago deeds he haunts the home he was raised in and then raised his family in. Then one day a young couple moves in to renovate, destroying the last of all he knows before his ghostly eyes. Time is running out for Tom to let go of the past and the tales he tells to try to find redemption are haunting and sad.

Excellent novel

[Bethany Mock (bethanyburiedinbooks) · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5/5

Thank you @getredprbooks for the #gifted copy of this book!

What it’s about:

A haunting and beautifully written novel about a Confederate soldier whose own personal war follows him into the afterlife—until one fateful day when his encounters with a modern-day couple change everything.

A ghost in his deserted childhood home in Virginia, Tom Smiley can’t forget the bloody war and its meaningless losses, nor can he shed his revulsion for his role in the Confederate defense of slavery. But when a young couple moves in and makes his home their own in the early twenty-first century, trouble erupts—and Tom is forced not only to face his own terrible secret but also to come to grips with his family’s hidden wartime history. He finds an unexpected ally in the house’s new owner, Phoebe Hunter, whose discoveries will have momentous consequences for them both.

Thoughts: What a beautifully written story about a soldier and the history and battles fought during the Confederate War. I read a lot of war books and I do believe this is my first about this war. It was a nice chance of pace for me, that’s for sure! This book definitely kept my attention as the writing was beautifully executed. The pacing was perfect and I flew through this in just two sittings. I felt the internal struggle Tom had battled with in regards to supporting slavery. What a tough war to fight in! I loved the ghost story aspect of this book and honestly wished there was more of it throughout the book! The ending was heartwarming and honestly I felt the empathy and emotions were a perfect way to tie up this book. If you’re a fan of historical fiction and like a non scary ghost story grab yourself a copy of this one!

[Linda · Rating 1 out of 5]

I agree with many reviews that stated this book wasn’t really as described. I ended up listening to the audio and even that was difficult to get through. I don’t recommend.

[Beverley Coffman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book when it first came out under the title LONG SHADOWS and was fascinated by several things. It made me truly believe in ghosts for one thing. I found the character, Tom, likable and believable. I was also very interested in the historical perspective of how the war affected the Shenandoah Valley and in particular Augusta County and Rockbridge County I have recommended this book for our book club! We will be discussing it in June.

[Lydia Schoch · Rating 3 out of 5]

Forgiveness is a process.

The settings was well developed. I could easily imagine what each scene looked like, including moments that described things that I’ve never personally experienced like being in a prison camp. It was especially helpful to have detailed descriptions of things like food or clothing as they were both quite different from what the average person in North America would expect to have access to today. These moments helped this world come alive in my imagination as I waited to find out whether Tom would ever forgive himself for the role he played in the Civil War.

I struggled with the changes in tone and theme. It started off as a ghost story but soon veered firmly into the historical fiction genre as Tom described what it was like for a sheltered young man who didn’t really know what he was getting into to fight for the Confederacy in the Civil War. While knowing his background information was important for understanding why his spirit remained on Earth after death, so much space was spent on this topic that the blurb felt misleading to me as a reader. Readers who enjoy realistic historical fiction about war may be a great match for these chapters, but they never quite felt like they matched the tone of the first few chapters for me due to the drastic shift between the life of a moody ghost and the horrors he experienced as a young soldier when he was alive. I wanted to love this book, but this was an impediment for me to dive deeply into Tom’s life because of the many differences between the blurb and the text itself.

What I did find interesting about this book was it exploration of racism, intentions, and regret. Tom genuinely believed he was doing a good deed by signing up to fight for reasons that other readers should discover for themselves, but having good intentions doesn’t mean that a decision is justifiable. He was affected by the time and place he lived in, and I was intrigued by his character development as he realized what a colossal mistake he had made and how even someone who tries to do the right thing can still be veered off course through unconscious bias and a dangerous amount of ignorance on a subject. This is something every single of us can be fooled by, and it’s well worth reading and talking about

The Last of What I Am is a good pick for anyone who likes historical fiction that has some paranormal themes.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

I debated between 2 and 3 stars here but decided to go with the 3 because one of the main issues is not the actual book but the marketing of the book: this is not a creepy paranormal ghost story, this is historical fiction. I saw the authors other book Long Shadows is actually the same book but described correctly and with a different cover. That one makes more sense, maybe I would have liked it more if I had read that one, so I am being nice.

This book also suffered, IMHO from the authors perspective as a 21st century woman looking back on the civil war through the eyes of a confederate soldier. It felt inauthentic for the main character to feel the way he did and made it difficult to connect with him. Also the whole ghost and paranormal aspects had no point, they were in now way necessary to the story, they just brought me out of the story to be honest since they were so disparate. It was nice though to have the view of a regular soldier, as most books are written about "important" people and not the foot soldiers and even focused a good bit on his time in a Union prison which is a unique perspective. I think it was a nice idea to have the main character be a confederate soldier that did not agree with slavery but to make him just so unwitting in everything, seemed ungenuine.

The best parts were the sisters points of view and in particular the section in the middle where it focused on her story for a while (usually they were letters but this seemed like it became less like a formal letter at some point and just her narrating) and what was happening at home. This was the best part of the book. Which makes me think maybe the author should focus on the women's stories in the future, which is also an underserved rep in books.

I believe the other version of this book is the authors first and it definitely had potential.

[Ellen Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. It’s the kind of book that sticks with you all day, even when you are not reading it, and long after you are finished.

I don’t usually write book reviews, and I will leave the summaries and real reviews to authors and the folks on Goodreads. But I felt compelled to say a few words on this one. I am a picky reader and have a tough time sticking with books that I don’t like. There was no chance of abandonment on this one. The characters are vivid and join your day-to-day life. Abigail’s writing is such a joy and remarkable journey to be on, that it makes reading even an intense war scene enjoyable. Can that be? At any rate, if you are a fan of the writing of someone like Anthony Doerr, you will just love this book.

Here’s the other thing; I struggled with history when I was young. I grew up in Virginia and managed to get out of there knowing NOTHING about the Civil War. (I’m the only human that can say that …and I’m not proud of that). In adulthood I found that reading historical fiction was a way I could absorb and enjoy history. But most historical fiction is really coming from one side, or point of view. I don’t know how she did it, but Abigail managed to cover the views and leave you empathetic of the North, the South and the slave’s point of view. It’s truly a remarkable piece of work. I’m biased as a woman, but I feel like that is something only a woman could possibly do. Maybe it’s something only this woman can do.

Looking at life from all these points of views, with empathy, is not just important for understanding a war hundreds of years ago, but for understanding our modern moment today politically and culturally. It’s important to open our awareness for our relationships, and our society. And its a great story and beautiful writing. Have I mentioned the beautiful writing?

[Nicole Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

✨ #BookReview ✨

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐀𝐦 {𝐀𝐛𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐥 𝐂𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫}

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦’𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘦—𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘺’𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘸— 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘰 𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥.

𝘍𝘰𝘭𝘬𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘶𝘱 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘵 𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘶𝘱 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳.

This book invoked in me a sadness that will linger for a few days until I can shake it. My goodness, what a story of human suffering to its core.

In this historical fiction novel, you will follow the incredible life of a confederate soldier during his time in the civil war. In a series of flashbacks, Tom Smiley recalls his duty as a soldier and the atrocities he witnessed in service. One memory after another is seeped with agonizing despair that continues throughout the read (without much of a breather I might add). I respect the author’s decision to exclude comic relief/buffers and I find that it is justified due to the serious nature of the main topics described in this illustration.

The reader may feel as if he/she is a firsthand whiteness of the war raging around the main character. Cutter paints a chilling story of gruesome battles fought and the plight of an ignorant young man who chooses to fight in a war he doesn’t comprehend until it’s too late. So much growth happens as the story unfolds and the conclusion is beautiful despite the book’s harrowing contents.

I cried and agonized over this book for days as I read it. I couldn’t put it down each night I picked it up. I typically avoid heavily sad books as such, but this one captivated me and I’m proud of myself for sticking it though. I’m really glad I pushed through to the end and allowed this book to seep down into my bones. I think sometimes we just need this type of read to remind us of our humanity.

Goodreads: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Susan Ballard (subakkabookstuff) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you @getredprbooks and @unionsqandco for a spot on tour and a gifted book.

𝘈 𝘩𝘢𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘯𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘭 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘸𝘢𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦— 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘯-𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.


When I read the synopsis, I figured this was a ghost story. While we do get snippets of Tom as a ghost, when a couple moves into his childhood home, it stirs up memories of his earthbound life, and then Tom shares his story.

Tom was just a kid when he signed up with the Confederate Militia. The nation is divided, and its own countrymen are at war. Tom joins the militia not out of duty or conscience, but because he wants to do something heroic and different than work in his father’s fields.

The author does a fantastic job of placing you alongside Tom. Not only physically in the battles and marching into towns, being away from home, and seeing his friends die right beside him. But she conquers the even more significant emotional toll it takes on Tom: he comes to realize he doesn’t understand or maybe even agree with what he is fighting, killing for - and it will haunt him.

A very well-researched book on a period in history many would rather not touch. It stirs the heart.

[Kelly {SpaceOnTheBookcase] · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don’t let the paranormal genre scare you from reading The Last of What I Am, it’s more civil rights historical fiction with a ghostly narrator. Tom Smiley is young and dumb when he and his friends sign up to fight for the south in the American Civil War. The war hadn’t even begun when Tom questioned what he had done and those questions linger the entire war as he loses friends and witnesses the atrocities of slavery. With a strong will to survive the story alternates from Tom’s experience in the American Civil War and as a spirit watching his house be updated by his now modern relatives. Trapped in the house, is Tom able to break free and find peace or will he remain in limbo forever?

The Last of What I Am isn’t a book I’d normally pick up but at the urging of a review I saw I decided to take a chance and I’m glad that I did. As a historical fiction lover this hit the mark and some bonus points for being about the American Civil War. I thought the writing style was easy to follow, the book was fast paced and I really felt invested in Tom in both past and present stories. Solid five star read!

Thank you GetRedPR for gifting me a copy.

[Christina Faris (books_by_the_bottle) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tom Smiley is a ghost in his childhood home in Virginia. Stuck in a limbo of sorts, Tom can’t forget the war, all the blood shed nor can he escape his own revulsion for what he supported as a Confederate soldier. But when a modern day couple moves into the home, Tom is forced to confront his past and finds an unexpected ally in Phoebe, one of the new homeowners. What they discover will change everything both of them thought they knew.

My father reads anything he can get his hands on relating to the Civil War, so I always find myself interested in those types of stories myself. Part ghost story, part historical fiction, this story is very unique in the way it is told. Far different from your typical ghost story, Tom is a man battling his own inner demons while he is waiting to cross over into the afterlife. I found his internal struggle to be heartbreaking, and I think this is the first story I read that had his particular perspective.
Thank you to getredpr, Union Square and Abigail Cutter for the review copy!

“The Last of What I Am” is out now. This review will be shared to my instagram blog (@books_by_the_bottle) shortly :)

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love historical fiction. This book is an historical fiction as told by a ghost, who the author has been living with ever since she married a man who came with an 18th century farm house in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia.
The Last of What I Am weaves lead character Confederate soldier Tom Smiley through the horrors of our Civil War and the struggles by both sides engaged in the conflict. Cutter's writing is supurb. Her research takes you to small Southern towns and known battlefields. Most of all Abbigail Cutter makes you experience wars dilemas, guilt, bravado and raw emotion, through a ghost.
This book for me, was particularly profound as I read it the weak of Hamas' invasion of Israel in Oct. 2023. War is horrific. Human emotional struggles, PTSD and emotional scars are sometimes never repaired. Cutter's choice to tell of family struggles during war, soldier struggles during war and all the aftermath was raw for me this week.
I recomend this book for its prose, it's unique presentation and because it is thought provoking.

[Niki McDowell · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. This was a weighted and haunting story. I read a fair amount of historical fiction, but most based on WWII. It was a nice change of pace to have one centered in the Civil War.

It was shocking to me how little some of these boys knew of what they were fighting for, let alone what they had in store for them. The absolute deplorable conditions they had to endure were heartbreaking and frankly unbelievable. This book also gives you a picture of life after the war, in which many were not able to mentally return to.

I came into this book having read the blurb and thinking that the haunting of the house and modern day inhabitants would have played a larger part in the story. I would have liked to see much more involvement and focus on that aspect of the book and that relationship, it was almost non-existent. Those who like detailed accounts of wartime efforts and daily life will enjoy this one though.

Thank you to Union Square and Get Red PR for the free copy in exchange for my honest review.

[Sharlene · Rating 5 out of 5]

On the surface this is a story told by the ghost of Tom Smiley as he watches Phoebe and her husband start to renovate his ancestral home. His ghost has been there alone since his daughter Cara died in her 80's many years ago. He narrates between what's happening now and what happened during his time as a volunteer in the Confederate Army. He and his friends all signed up young even though they came from a part of Virginia that didn't own slaves. As Phoebe uncovers letters and Tom's medals from many battles, including Gettysburg, he begins to reveal the secret he has kept from everyone, even after his death. This is a very original story of the Civil War. It deals with the complexity of those who fought in it. Why did they go to war, what have they carried all these years on. Read the afterward to discover how this tale is based on some of the author's own experiences redoing an old house.

[Trudy · Rating 4 out of 5]

First and foremost this is not a ghost story. The ghost and the female living character interact in approximately 5-10 pages of this entire book. This book IS a historical fiction memoir of an elderly man who has died but not transitioned and therefore has remained in his home for around 150 years. He walks you through his story of his family and his time serving as a Confederate soldier in the Civil War. This book was given to me as a Christmas gift. Would I have read this book otherwise, probably not. HOWEVER, even though it was not what I was expecting, it was very interesting and I learned a great deal and gained a better understanding of the war from a non political point of view. (Killing Lincoln was excellent for a more political view.) I do recommend it as a read mainly because I feel there is great value in exposing oneself to history that is often times hard to look at…hoping we don’t repeat it and bringing something out of the atrocities. A solid 4 stars.

[Edens Book Den · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is such a powerful story filled with rich detail and immersive imagery. So different from what I normally read, but so gripping. So haunting. In many parts this was very hard to read. That is the reality of war. The reality of its aftermath.

It’s part ghost story, part history lesson and interwoven is a deeply reflective tale about a man named Tom who was a soldier in the Confederacy. His time in prison, his struggles with war and his reflections of the past. I went into this blind and I’m so glad I did. It’s a book that I didn’t expect to be so absorbed in. The reality is “War is Hell” and this novel although not something I would normally gravitate towards is still on my mind. We can all learn something from history and the stories of those that have gone before us. Worth the read and would make a wonderful book for discussion. 4/5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Al Hargrave · Rating 2 out of 5]

Did not finish book.
I’m several chapters into this book, and it’s reading less and less like a ghost story (what it’s marketed as) and more like a memoir (for lack of a better word. The descriptions of different characters and their opinions on the war etc. are WILD to say the least (I.e. “slavery is bad because it’s only for rich lazy people” … HUH?!). The synopsis of this book heavily insinuates that there’s a huge big bad secret the main character has, and, upon further research on my part, that’s simply not the case. The big bad “secret” is exactly what you think it is, and it’s not a secret at all. It’s literally in the synopsis. (And in every review I’ve read.) All in all, this book just isn’t what I thought it would be, so I will not be finishing it.

[Dawn Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to the author at a local literary festival, knowing this book intrigued me. I had no idea the impact reading this book would have on me as it occupied my mind during the eight days I was without power and water during the aftermath of Hurricane Helene in western North Carolina. This book explores our decisions and their impact on our lives, even affecting the afterlife of the main character, Tom Smiley, a Confederate soldier during the Civil War. I felt I was there with Tom, on the battlefield, in the prisoner of war camp, and with his family as they lived in fear and deprivation. Abigail's research produced a vivid framework for the interrelationships of family and comrades during the horror of war while still offering hope.

[Elizabeth Mcculloch · Rating 5 out of 5]

This novel focuses on a Confederate soldier and his family, It portrays the horrors of battle and prison camp, and the devastation of the homefront. Though it’s told from the point of view of the soldier’s ghost as he watches a young couple restore and desecrate his old family homestead, it is no more a ghost story than Toni Morrison’s Beloved. At the end the soldier’s ghost is redeemed from his guilt and finds peace. Cutter has transformed extensive research into a compelling story, rich in detail, a vivid account of the horror and futility of war, fought by the poor to defend the interests, including slavery, of the rich. Her writing is clear and lyrical, and I highly recommend this book.

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was lighter on the paranormal side than I was expecting, as it’s more a man with a troubled past waiting to finally cross over, but it was a great story.

There are dual timelines, one during the Civil War and another years later. The MC Tom was a Confederate soldier, which he regretted almost immediately, that recounts his trauma, as well as that of his fellow soldiers. Later on after he has passed, a new resident of his family home uncovers some information that may help him finally be at peace.

[Janelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I went into this thinking this would be a ghost story, but it's actually much more. As a reader, I found myself immersed in the life of Tom as he struggles with many aspects of war. It's a deeply profound experience that will forever change a person, staying with them even beyond the grave.

It delved and sat more in the genre of historical/war fiction, while dealing with heavy topics that are still relevant in many places within our society. If you are a historical fiction fan, this is definitely one to put on your TBR.

[Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading about depictions of the Civil War. The majority of this book lived in grey areas where not every Southerner was "bad", and not every Northerner was "good".

Where I had an issue: If you are going to use your cover to sell the book on a modern-day ghost reckoning with his past, that should be the focus. In reality, this book was about a Civil War Soldier and the paranormal aspects were there, but they could have easily been edited out. That was a bit disappointing.

[alfred fevrier · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story of Tom Smiley, a teen-aged Virginian in 1860, is a romping tale that entwines the past with the present. I liked the historical accuracy, both large and small, the telling of a point-of-view that seldom occurs in my fiction reading, that was enshrined by the Confederate soldiers “rich man’s war, poor man’s fight.”
Though as a reader I am agnostic about ghosts, I found the Long Shadow variety a clever plot construct that makes this new title of the book even more meaningful.
This is a can’t-put- down book that will give you plenty to feel and think about; I heartily recommend it.

[Riss 🫶🏻☕️ · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Last of What I Am is a historical fiction read that I really enjoyed. There were elements of the supernatural - a ghost in fact - who lives in his childhood home, unable to forget the war he took part in. Tom must face his terrible past during the Civil War, with the help of Phoebe Hunter (the new owner). I found this to be a thought provoking read as this delved into the past of a very bloody war. The characters were well written and the plot pulls readers in.