A Polyamory Devotional: 365 Daily Reflections for the Consensually Nonmonogamous

by Evita Lavitaloca Sawyers, Tikva Wolf (Illustrator)

Digestible snippets of advice and thought-provoking prompts on ethical nonmonogamy for every day of the year.

Polyamory can be fun, sweet and even liberating. But ethical nonmonogamy can also take work. In A Polyamory Devotional, relationship coach Evita “Lavitaloca” Sawyers streamlines the vast abstractions of “working on yourself” into a guided tour of rigorous self-reflection. Building upon her wealth of experience in fostering the journey from monogamy to nonmonogamy, Sawyers invites you to ask yourself the big questions. Can compersion and jealousy coexist? How do we hold space for hurt we didn’t cause? Through 365 daily prompts, you are encouraged to develop the tools of emotional diligence that will serve you for a lifetime. For those eager to love authentically but overwhelmed by the emotional process of polyamory, this is your reminder that you don’t have to do it alone.

Genres: Polyamory, Nonfiction, Relationships, Queer, Love

400 pages, Paperback

Published October 20, 2023

Reviews

[Joni Owens · Rating 4 out of 5]

We aren’t a poly couple but I find it interesting. This book would be terrific for anyone just starting out on the non monogamous path. Meant to be read once a day. Though you could read more you nonconformist you.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of great relationship wisdom. Aimed at nonmonogamous people, however the advice is extremely transferable to all relationships - monogamous or otherwise.

[Josh · Rating 5 out of 5]

It feels as though there has been an explosion of books about nonmonogamy in the past few years. In most cases they can be categorized as either memoirs of open relationships or manuals for how to approach them yourself. This book is a refreshingly unique blend of the two, offering digestible snippets of vulnerable personal experience, advice, and prompts for consideration. I expect it would be fruitful to read and reflect on a single page each day as the structure suggests, but the inclusion of a topical index to pinpoint the specific days that will provide the insight you need adds further to the usefulness of this book. The individual daily discussions are light on theory, focusing instead on the lessons learned from the author's own experience. I expect this book will become a popular for those exploring nonmonogamy.

This review is based on a pre-release copy of the book provided without charge by the publisher and NetGalley.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even as a tool for those like myself who struggle with jealousy and insecure mindset in relationships, this is a very helpful resource to know you're not alone and there are ways to combat these feelings without banishing them completely. It's very validating to know that even folks who have multiple partners or who have a partner who wants to explore do experience feelings of jealousy and have tools to deal with it. I found this very helpful in my own struggles with jealousy and would honestly recommend to anyone who also does or those who are just curious about other lifestyles! And obviously the intended audience of folks who do indeed lead multi-partner filled lives.

[Hanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

A definite recommendation to anyone who wants to work on their relationsship skills, no matter if you’re non-monogamous or not. Sawyers prompts us with questions that we can ask ourselves when feeling doubtful, jealous, angry, insecure or whichever else feeling might come up during our relationship journey(s) and invites us to dig deeper. She’s very honest in her observations about her own behaviour and what downfalls she had to deal with, which makes it easy to relate to her. The book is not intended to be read in one sitting and I would recommend putting it somewhere, where you can regularly peek into it.

[Crystal · Rating 3 out of 5]

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

This book has a lot of great insight into a polyamorous relationship. Although that lifestyle is not for me, for someone that is in this lifestyle can gain plenty of information from others who are also in the same lifestyle.

I would recommend this book to anyone who is in a poly relationship or to someone who is thinking about being in this type of relationship.

[morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

While a bit repetitive at times, there are a lot of wonderful and wise nuggets in here. This book covers a full scope of situations, relationships containers, considerations around trauma, and the skillsets it takes to navigate them all. Polyamory isn’t for the faint of heart, but the wealth of love it can bring about is unparalleled.

[Neil · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very good book filled with so many thoughtful concepts, guidance and prompts around ethically nonmonogamous relationships. It’s meant to be read one passage a day over a year so I definitely cheated and read it in 2 months but still found myself in a state of learning throughout.