Once upon a time, the kitchen was full of fond memories for the baker's wife, but under the brutal tutelage of her husband, it is just another arena for his cruelty. When he orders her to bake cookies for the annual contest, she rebels and crafts a gingerbread man unlike any before. Appalled by the creation, her husband flees the house, leaving her to indulge in a rare slice of solitude. But she isn't alone. Wrought by a swirl of magic, her gingerbread man comes to life and manifests in the form of a perfect lover straight out of a fantasy. Convinced she's dreaming, the baker's wife indulges her most secret desires and embarks on a journey of self-exploration and passionate awakening under the skillful hands of her gingerbread man. But can this newfound euphoria last? Run, run, run.
My friend sent me a tiktok of this & I thought it was a joke until I saw it was on KU… so naturally I had to take a little side quest of my current reads and check this out.
a gingerbread man cookie comes to life and lays PIPE to the woman that made him?? 💀🧍🏽♀️
The anatomically correct gingerbread man and the baker's wife will have you feeling emotional and begging to taste some of that delicious frosting.
*not an audiobook.
Some of fav quotes:
-“He couldn’t face the truth that a cookie was more adequate than he’d ever be.”
-Lowering her head, she pushed her breast up to her mouth. She sucked the hard peak between her lips and extended her tongue to lick the icing-like cum. She closed her eyes and sighed. It tasted so good, like gooey marshmallow.
-“Run, run, run. You learned how to suck. Now I’m going to teach you what it’s like to fuck.”
-The baker’s wife smiled and slowed her pace. “You’re so warm.” “You did put me in the oven, after all,” the gingerbread man replied with a wink.
-“But that doesn’t make any sense. How can you be alive if you were just a cookie?”
-“Enter that cookie with a behemoth of an appendage? What would people say? Absolutely not!”
I honestly enjoyed this story! I liked how Emma found her voice and even though the book was all in a day it was still a good time. The ending was a little confusing and off, but it was a fun read.
Rating: - Unhingedness: 5 (build your own man) - Story Structure: 4 - Spice Level: 7 - Would I recommend: Maybe
The books you find at grandmas house 👵🏽🍪 (I Y K Y K ]
🧑🏼🍳 A little hidden gem 💎 that I read with a group of friends from booktwt so we could have a topic to discuss for our spaces. I think it’s safe to say that this book is a massive *WTF* for all of us lmao.
🍪It’s a 3.5 for me. This was probably the most unserious thing I’ve read all year long… HOWEVER, I read WORSE from more serious books. It was funny, shocking, and NGL kind of intense at the end 💀 i definitely didn’t hate it, and I don’t regret reading it at all lmao.
This might be the most outrageous novella specifically that i have read this year LMAOOOOO. I just have no words. My friend and I buddy read this one and when i tell you I AM WEAKKKKKK. If you need a good laugh and an absolutely outrageous plotline, read this. But dont go into it looking for actual plot or anything that makes sense. This is definitely the perfect buddy read if yall need something funny and just to not take seriously. LMAOOOOOOODFJWRIOFJWPFE
Such a fun, spicy book with an amazing underlying message of women gaining their voice back! WARNING! Do not read around your hot, tall husband because you might get pregnant. Unless, of course, that’s what you want!
3.5⭐️ Meet the bakers wife. She's been beaten and abused by him, and when he makes her bake sixty gingerbread men for him to enter into a competition in the middle of the night, enough is enough. She decides to design her own. One huge gingerbread man. And for the final? One large appendage in the middle. Only after her shower does she realise the gingerbread man isn't on the baking sheet anymore. He's six feet tall and LARGE.
This was absolutely hilarious. I literally laughed the entire time and cringed at the terminology, but it was so worth it.
🧡
"This gingerbread man wasn't made to run. This gingerbread man was made to fuck."
"Maybe I should have made a gingerbread woman complete with a clitoris. I think his head might have exploded."
"I'm the gingerbread man, remember? Run, run, run as fast as you can? But hold on, baby, because l'm going to fuck you as hard as I can. Once I start, I won't be able to stop, Do you understand? You have to want this, me, the only way I know how."
This was a unhinged book that a group of us on booktwt decided to read for shit's and giggle.
Based off the description alone, I knew I was getting into some unhinged shit, but this was comical and unhinged. The amount of gingerbread puns alone made it just that much better.
This book isn't necessarily good, but it sure is a quick read that keeps things entertaining.
Also just the fact that they called the FMC's nipples gumdrop buttons, it had me cackling.
The Bakers Wife follows the story of an abused housewife who does forced labor for her slob of a husband. The purpose of the book I believe is a very simple instalove romance between a cookie and a women with classic gingerbread man lore as the theme, I think it achieved that. It is a solid little holiday read.
Their marriage lacks any intimacy and she feels unfulfilled sexually. After the two hurry to finish the cookie dough for the cookies her husband would enter into a contest the next day, he runs off to sleep and leaves her to finish a monumental task for cookie cutting, baking and decorating said cookies by morning. Frustrated with his abuse she finally lashes out and bakes one huge and obscene gingerbread man. When the husband wakes the next morning he is shocked to see the well endowed gingerbread and hurries off to the local bar after demanding she fix it. Soon after he leaves the gingerbread man comes to life and a fugk fest ensues.
Somethings I really enjoyed about this was the authors ability to write. I ZIP-LINED through this book in a casual day of reading. The sentence structures were perfect, the scenes were painted well, and the prose were almost expert for the majority of the book. The pacing is very fast and the book is basically a novella so it was easy to get through and progressed quickly. I also liked that the gingerbread man was a pleasure dom, even if the execution of that portrayal was not great. I did think it was fun that his jiz was icing and his breath was minty. I also have a thing about hygiene in spicy books and I can appreciate how often this character bathed. I was excited to read something that felt christmasy and this definitely fit the vibe for that. It was a good pallet cleanser and definitely was talked about at the Christmas party and book discord.
There are a few things I did not love about the book. I didn’t feel that the rebellious moment she had or the husbands initial reaction to it, were compatible with the dynamics of their relationship. It seemed pretty off the mark as far as abusive relationships go but I could be projecting. I don’t mind soft irrational magic systems but it didn’t explain the magic much at all. Mainly my biggest thing was the silly dialogue. From the way they would converse in casually conversation, to the comical gingerbread rhymes gone smutty, none of it sounded natural or titillating, but that may have been purposeful. I read smut for •reasons• and I found myself laughing so often that I couldn’t enjoy the book the way I wanted to. “Your gumdrops taste so fucking good,” made me put down the book for a moment. I feel like the authors dedication to referencing all things sweet and gingerbread related thing was interesting.
About 80% of the book is just smut. That is not a bad thing, as I love smut, although I prefer a story line. There were a few really solid scenes but the dialogue took me out of the moment sometimes. Other scenes felt out of character for such an inexperienced women like Emma.
I would recommend this book to anyone who wants a quick holiday read and isn’t super invested in a story line or looking for smut for *reasons.* I think it was a cute book and well written. I would read from this author again because I think she’s bold AF for writing this the way she did. I finished it in a day. I don’t regret it. I just can’t rate it higher because it didn’t meet my expectations for a smut book.
I’m excited to see this author grow and I commend her for being so bold with this story.
Oh look at this cute little unassuming book! WRONG
—————— BELOW IS THE TRANSCRIPT OF THE RECAP ON UNFORTUNATE READS. SPOILERS AHEAD ⚓️ ——————
Note content warnings of abuse, light BDSM, blood play, and murder/death
It’s 1907 and we’re thrown into a scene of chaos where a baker is manically preparing for a baking competition the next day.
He’s yelling at his wife who is actually the one who does all the work for him. The baker is actually a huge abusive asshole and most recently held his wife’s hand to a hot stove because she got a tiny piece eggshell in the bowl.
The baker, Henry, tells his wife, Emma, to finish the baking while he goes to sleep. She finally snaps. She creates a gingerbread man alright, but a giant one with a massive dough eggplant, complete with icing veins and jizz.
As the author says, “This gingerbread man wasn’t made to run. This gingerbread man was made to fuck.”
Henry is so shocked he just leaves to go to the pub. Emma is in a great mood after that, until she comes back from her bath and sees that her gingerbread hunk has come to life and is now a hot, muscular man.
Yet again, our heroine thinks it’s a dream and is like, well better take advantage!
Some highlights I think you’ll enjoy about their schmexytimes: - the gingerbread man has dominant alpha vibes - He teaches her and dirty talks like a champ - His 💦 tastes like vanilla (she did ice it after all) - “Good girl” - Spanking
“Run, run, run. You learned how to suck. Now I’m going to teach you what it’s like to fuck.”
After their romp her drunk husband comes back in and shoots the Cyn (the gingerbread man) in the shoulder. Surprisingly instead of bleeding the injured part turns to cookie crumbles.
Henry sees this phenomenon and then rush attacks Cyn and Mike Tyson’s him, starting with his ear and then taking bites out of his whole body.
A horrified Emma grabs the discarded shotgun and shoots Henry right in the face.
Ok this is where I know you all are gonna rage, but don’t shoot the messenger.
She rushes to Cyn but he’s too injured and asks to hold her one last time before he turns entirely to cookie and crumbles.
Sad but determined, Emma goes back to the kitchen to find a way to bring him back.
Out of the 75 pages in this book, like 42 are straight dirty smut. Read at your own risk!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
I honestly don't even know what I just read, why I liked it, or what to even think. This exists. This was kind of like being on a sexy acid trip? If that makes sense? I mean overall I liked it but..... I.... can't even begin to explain this book without sounding like I've gone off my rocker.
A wild, sugary ride, with an ending I actually didn't expect to say the least. But I'm not mad about it. A good read to kill some time or switch it up, for sure.