Green Dumb Guide to Houseplants: 45 Unfussy Plants That Are Easy to Grow and Hard to Kill

by Holly Theisen-Jones

For those who want to take care of houseplants but can hardly take care of themselves, The Green Dumb Guide to Houseplants is the perfect handbook for even the most greenery-inept individual.

We all love the idea of houseplants, and maybe you've stood by helplessly as a cactus went all slimy or you've endured the perpetual indoor autumn of an unhappy Ficus. Good news—all of the plants in this book have two things in They're easy to find and hard to kill.

The benefits of plant ownership are legion. Studies indicate just being around plants creates a relaxing effect on people. And plants make great roommates—no Peace Lily will ever criticize you for quitting your workout video to go finish a box of Triscuits.
 
Does your bedroom have a mattress on the floor and Christmas lights taped to the wall? Put a Money Tree in the corner. Instant upgrade! Are you a corporate lackey trapped under fluorescent lights and a drop-tile ceiling? A colorful Calathea or a chunky little Aloe could help restore your will to live. The Green Dumb Guide to Houseplants is full of useful advice, crucial dos and don'ts, and realistic inspiration for all budgets and attention spans—ensuring success to even the most risk-averse, commitment-phobic indoor gardeners.

THE EASIEST POSSIBLE GUIDE TO LEARNING THE BASICS OF PLANT  No skills needed, except knowing how to read this book.

FORTY-FIVE HOUSEPLANT EACH ONE EASY TO FIND AND HARD TO  Divided into difficulty sections ranging from "Practically Plastic," "Chill," "Fussy," or "Master Gardener" (only one of those!), this handy houseplant book ensures you choose the right plant for your level of commitment.

IF ALL ELSE FAILS, A BONUS SECTION ON HOW TO CHOOSE PLASTIC Shade doesn't only come from plants! Take your absolutely true advice with a healthy dose of humor.

Perfect who has ever tried and failed to grow houseplantsDIY decoratorsAnyone starting out in a new home or apartmentA great gift for grads, newlyweds, and hosts or hostesses (along with a plant, of course)

Genres: Nonfiction, Plants, Gardening, Reference

217 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 16, 2023

Reviews

[Karen J · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Very informative, I would have given the book 4 ⭐️’s if the photos were of really plants.

[Hannah Monson · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone who annually becomes obsessed with having plants then immediately proceeds to murder them all (yes, I overwater), this book was written for me. I’m a plant novice and really do need all the hand holding. This book is a great introduction both to the basics of indoor plants and which specific plants to buy (usually it’s me standing in the garden section of Lowe’s looking lost).

The author is informative and funny. I appreciate her humor in describing who a plant is good for balanced with genuine advice on water, pots, etc. and serious health and safety concerns.

I recently received a gift card to a local nursery, and for the first time, I feel like I may not be dooming my plants to short, overwatered lives. While I read this as an ebook ARC, this is the kind of cute book I’d put in my bathroom or on a side table for guests to peruse.

[Chameleon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is cute, funny, and informative!! Perfect for anyone nervous about starting a life as a plant dad!

[Hilary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a delight! My only complaint is she doesn’t profile a fiddle leaf fig (her nemesis.)

I love humorous plant books that teach me something and give plenty of good laughs.

Also, how else would I have known the Sago Palm I needed to repot contains a neurotoxin that causes paralysis and a host of gastrointestinal hells?! Thank goodness for gardening gloves.

A good reference book for any plant lover!

[DaUhn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love that each plant profile includes toxicity info, but the chapter on fake plants was a minor no lol it’s satire right?

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

This might be my new favorite plant book! The writing was witty and made me laugh while still providing lots of useful information.

[Megan Pate · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m so glad I finally read this book! Not only was it very informative, the illustrations were cute and it was a downright hoot!

My only issue with it is that I had to double check a lot of the plants that were labeled nontoxic as a few are toxic to kitties and I have a plant chomper in my house. (Even as of writing this review, he’s trying to eat my new parlor palm.) I saw that the ASPCA was listed in the bibliography and you’ll want to have that resource if you have kitty fur babies as cats are more susceptible to toxins than dogs are oftentimes. Other than that, it’s well worth the read to dream about your own indoor jungle!

[RedRedtheycallmeRed · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a delightful book written for plant novices like myself. Most of my plants are of the "Practically Plastic" variety, and as they were given to me when my parents died I feel strongly about keeping them alive. I realized I tend to be an over-waterer, and am trying to change my ways. I have also relocated some of my plants and am feeling more confident about their chances. The author writes with warmth and humor, making things easy to understand.

[Andy T. · Rating 5 out of 5]

On the surface, it's a plant book (and a well-researched one), but at heart, it's a bizarrely funny and self-aware commentary on modern life. Do yourself a favor and check out the author's short humor pieces on McSweeney's once you've rescued your houseplants!

[Jessica Geil · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was very informative, with a little more than a dash of humor that had me randomly snorting as I read.

[J. Muro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wish I had ALLLllll the plants stuffed indoors,…some rocks,…mosses,…

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is as cute and it is useful. Full honesty, my house is covered in fake plants and I wanted this book to go with my aesthetic because HELLO it is beyond adorable. But, now I have two real life plants thanks to the help of this book.

[luckykarmatx · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Green Dumb Guide is helpful, but I didn't find information that I haven't already seen in other books. It's a great first book to get on the subject, and would make a nice gift for a gardening newbie. My only real complaint is that this didn't have color photos.

[Katherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

A small and fun book to help any plant lover assess her green thumb abilities. Not only is the book helpful, its fun toread since question and suggestion and information are all presented with just a slight touch of comic satire.

[Aimee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, informative, and easy read!

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fun, little thumb nail review of several common houseplants.simple informative artwork shows what the different plants discussed look like.

[Rita Ribeiro · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just really need to know why the trendy and capricious fiddle leaf fig-Ficus lyrata, not profiled is the author's nemesis...

[Oli · Rating 4 out of 5]

A funny and insightful guide for the intermediate level gardener. I’ll come back to this as a first port of call for problem solving and care giving.

[Angie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had some great info on different houseplants. I liked how it was organized and I enjoyed the snark.

[Sam C. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This has helped me go from serial murderer of houseplants to actually coaxing a few of them on the path of survival. Got it from my library, but considering buying a copy!

[Dominique Reeves · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was fun to read and quick too
Incomplete in my opinion
Engrais
Oiseau du paradis, pothos, sansevieria, zz plant, aloe, haworthias, echeverias, pholodendrons, alocasia, string of pearls, monstera