Gift of Time: A Family's Diary of Cancer

by Rory MacLean, Joan Maclean, Katrin MacLean

When his mother Joan was diagnosed with terminal cancer, Rory MacLean and his wife Katrin took her into their home. For five months, as their life fragmented and turned inward, they fought both to resist and to accept the inevitable. Each gave vent to their emotions in different ways, but all three kept a diary. Heartbreakingly honest and deeply moving, "Gift of Time" is the story of those days, in the words of a son, his wife and his mother. Woven together into a poignant meditation on life and death, they illuminate the courage and dignity of one woman who confronted what we all must face. Threaded through with wisdom and guilt, anger and acceptance, the story is punctuated by a family wedding and the hope of new life, by bin-bags of old letters and books rediscovered, by the end of winter and the first signs of spring. Powerful, raw and urgent, this slender volume is above all a celebration of life. Capturing every moment of beauty and pain, it acknowledges that what survives all of us is love. Praise for Rory MacLean's previous "Stalin's Nose": "The most extraordinary debut in travel writing since "In Patagonia". A dark, sardonic and brilliant book which grows in stature with every page". (William Dalrymple). "A surreal masterpiece". (Colin Thubron). "The Oatmeal Ark": "One of the most original and innovative travel books for years". (Alexander Frater). "A truly astonishing performance". (Jan Morris). "Such a book as this rather marvellously explains why literature still lives". (John Fowles). "Under the Dragon": "I cannot imagine a better book on the beauty and terror of Burma. Read it. Read it. Read it". (Fergal Keane). "It will make you cry and it will give you hope...It is astonishingly good". (Jeanette Winterson). "Magic Bus": "A disturbing, gripping and intensely passionate story". (Esther Freud).

194 pages, Hardcover

First published August 1, 2011

About the author

Canadian Rory MacLean is one of Britain's most expressive and adventurous travel writers. His twelve books include the UK top tens Stalin's Nose and Under the Dragon as well as Berlin: Imagine a City, a book of the year and 'the most extraordinary work of history I've ever read' according to the Washington Post. He has won awards from the Canada Council and Arts Council of England and was nominated for the International IMPAC Dublin Literary prize. His works – according to the late John Fowles – are among those that 'marvellously explain why literature still lives'. A Fellow of the Royal Society of Literature, he divides his time between the UK, Berlin and Toronto.

Reviews

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although this is often a difficult book to read, the admirable honesty of Rory, Katrin and Joan as they charted the emotional journey they were forced to make, shines through. Yes, there is sadness, heartbreak, resentment at the toll Joan's illnes takes on family life, but there are moments of joyful appreciation of the pleasures life can still hold, both as death comes ever closer for the person who is terminally ill, and for the survivors in the time which follows.

[Michelle Moore · Rating 3 out of 5]

When his mother Joan was diagnosed with terminal cancer, Rory and his wife Katrina invited her to live with them. During this time, they all kept diaries of their time, and in Gift of Time, Rory pulls these entries together, giving a candid insight into a difficult and heartbreaking time.

The majority of entries are from Rory, as he tries to put down in words how his mother’s condition affects every aspect of his life. Katrina’s entries show the wonderful relationship she has with her mother-in-law, and Joan’s give an insight into what remains important to her.

Yes, at times this is a difficult book to read, especially towards the end, but it’s in no way a sugary, heart-string tugging account. Instead it’s very raw and open, with an account of Joan’s changes as the cancer takes hold. It also feels positive, in the way that everyone comes together to deal with the illness and eventual death, as well as the way they are view the world, still enjoying nature and the garden.

For readers who have experienced this for themselves, it should be a very personal decision as to when is the right time to read this. I would imagine it would be very hard if it’s a recent event, but other reviewers have said they’ve found it helpful a few years after – knowing that others had experienced the same as them.

This book is a wonderful tribute to this family, but also to every family who have experienced similar.

[Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really difficult book to read, given it's subject matter. I don't think it's a book that will appeal to anyone who hasn't been through a cancer death, as some of the chapters are quite mundane, filled with medicine giving & time passing. However, if you have suffered through the death of a loved one, or cared for them at home, you will find alot of familiar activities, emotions and frustrations in these pages. I particularly admired that neither the author nor his wife edited out their less "charitable" thoughts about the strain of living with a dying woman and their desire to have a normal life again. Overall I found it to be a very human read and had to dip in and out over the course of 2 years only due to the raw feelings about the topic in my own life.

[Sue Corbett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very sad book but some beautiful passages, particularly from DIL’s diary. Clever idea to combine the three diaries. Reminded me of my brave MIL, also Joan, who died of liver cancer too.

Merged review:

Brilliant book , terribly sad.
Death of the author!s (Rory MacLean, I cant edit to get his surname on it) mother written in three interleaving accounts by him, his mother and his wife. Very moving and affecting. Reminded me very much of MIL’s death from similar cancer.

Merged review:

I loved this. Terribly sad but yet not too difficult a read. The author, his wife and his dying mother, whom they’ve taken into their home to help her, all keep their own diaries.
Reminded me of the death of MIL from a similar cancer.

[Fiona · Rating 5 out of 5]

Joan , dying from cancer moves in to spend her remaining time with her son and his wife . They each write about how cancer , death and the frustrations of the disease affect them .
A beautifully written book , from the heart and not just doom and gloom . Lots of memories recaptured for the family among the thoughts of how life will go on after Joan passes. Deeply moving and I found the part with Joan wanting to go into the hospice when the time comes something I hear regularly . She didn't want to be a burden to her family despite not wanting to die alone .
Thought provoking and this book will stay with me for a long time .