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Our Own Unique Affliction
Our Own Unique Affliction is the story of Alice Ann, a dejected immortal who longs for her life in the sun. Navigating guilt, loss, family, meaning, murder, and all that comes with the curse of living forever. An existential bleak, quiet until it's not, hallucination on duality, rife with fangs, empathy, blood, and grief.
104 pages, ebook
First published April 26, 2023
37 people are currently reading
2170 people want to read
About the author
Scott J. Moses
13 books115 followersScott J. Moses is the author of Our Own Unique Affliction (Shortwave Books). An Active member of the Horror Writers Association, his work has appeared in Cosmic Horror Monthly, The NoSleep Podcast, Planet Scumm, and elsewhere. He also edited What One Wouldn’t Do: An Anthology on the Lengths One Might Go To. He is Japanese American and lives in Maryland. You can find him on Instagram or scottjmoses.com. He is represented by IAG for TV/Film.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 135 reviews
September 26, 2023
Our Own Unique Affliction has many strengths; there were some nice scenes here, especially the turning of humans was nicely done, and the prose is beautiful, the book has depth. Moses focuses rather on main character Alice Ann and her coping with her vampirism than anything else, more character building and though I liked that, it felt more like an excerpt of something bigger, which can be good in an experimental way. It is an interesting work as a vampire novel. I just really can’t warm up to narration in present tense and along with a nonlinear storyline that confused me a little. I’d definitely like to read something else by this author.
July 12, 2025
I wrote this for me in one of the hardest times of my life, but I hope it’s for you too.
June 9, 2023
“We’re each dealt our own unique affliction, Alice. Ours is death. Yours? Yours is life.”
I've been seeing a lot of hype for this novella around the indie horror community, and between that and my general love for a unique vampire tale, I knew I had to pick it up right away — and I'm so glad that I did, because Our Own Unique Affliction was truly something special.
Despite its short length (clocking in at just over 100 pages for the kindle copy), there's a lot of depth packed into this little story. Alice, our main character, is a vampire who yearns for her human life. She explores and spends her time meeting humans, not solely out of bloodlust, but because she desperately craves a meaning in her lonely existence. All she has in the world is her sister, but she wants so much more.
There's so little that I can say about the plot of Our Own Unique Affliction because it isn't a plot-driven tale, it's a full character study and a deep dive into the ways grief and trauma shape us. My heart ached constantly for Alice and her sister, and the twisting reveal devastated me.
Moses' writing is stunning and masterfully captured the yearning that loneliness brings with it. I can't wait to read more from this author and I highly recommend this to anyone who enjoys quiet, bleak horror stories.
Grief is a hole in your heart forever unsatisfied. Insatiable, and gorging on you a bite at a time.
✨ Representation: BIPOC side characters
✨ Content warnings for:
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March 17, 2023
Huge thanks to Andrew & DarkLit Press for sending me a digital ARC of this one.
It’s a bit shameful – oh I know – but I haven’t read much of Scott’s work so far. He’s always been super supportive and we’ve interacted a fair bit, but for one reason or another, I just simply haven’t read all of his work yet – only his novella ‘Non-Practicing Cultist’ and a few stories in various anthologies.
With ‘Our Own Unique Affliction’ I was excited to dive in. Not because it’s a vampire story – if you’ve followed my own reviews, you know I can struggle with vampire stuff – but because I was curious to see what it was that Scott was going to do with it, what spin we were going to get.
What I liked: The novella follows Alice Ann, a young girl who was turned hundreds of years ago. She is navigating the new world with her sister, Hannah, and a human who helps ‘guide’ them.
The story covers a lot of ground, we get topical themes, as well as internal issues – guilt, stress, anxiety, dealing with loss and how are we able to go on when other’s we love have died. It’s a lot to unpack and it’s done with a steady hand and some delicate prose.
Alice is doing her best, trying to explore as best she can while remaining unseen, and it works – for the most part – until it doesn’t. And when things take a turn, it’s a sad, startling turn. Moses does a great job of keeping his cards close to his chest before showing his hand and it’s at that point where we see Alice having to grapple with her desire to live with what she is versus her torment over who she is and how it might be better to die. It could easily be seen as metaphorical toward living with chronic pain – or you could take it at face value and accept it as an immortal ‘thing’ detested by those who know she exists longing for an exit strategy.
The ending worked really well and had me so happy with how the events played out. Although, to be fair, it would’ve worked well emotionally for it to go in a completely different direction.
What I didn’t like: I’m not 100% sure I totally got the ‘why’ behind the reasoning of her human guide’s decision they made. I think I get it, but I think I would’ve been happier if it had been made that much more explicit.
Why you should buy this: This novella rips along and even with such a short page count, you’ll fall head over heels for Alice and root for her – especially when she just wants to make a phone call. Moses has really created a truly outstanding novella here, one that grinds at the heart of a question that a lot of us ponder late into the night – what’s the point of all of this and how do we keep going?
Excellent.
It’s a bit shameful – oh I know – but I haven’t read much of Scott’s work so far. He’s always been super supportive and we’ve interacted a fair bit, but for one reason or another, I just simply haven’t read all of his work yet – only his novella ‘Non-Practicing Cultist’ and a few stories in various anthologies.
With ‘Our Own Unique Affliction’ I was excited to dive in. Not because it’s a vampire story – if you’ve followed my own reviews, you know I can struggle with vampire stuff – but because I was curious to see what it was that Scott was going to do with it, what spin we were going to get.
What I liked: The novella follows Alice Ann, a young girl who was turned hundreds of years ago. She is navigating the new world with her sister, Hannah, and a human who helps ‘guide’ them.
The story covers a lot of ground, we get topical themes, as well as internal issues – guilt, stress, anxiety, dealing with loss and how are we able to go on when other’s we love have died. It’s a lot to unpack and it’s done with a steady hand and some delicate prose.
Alice is doing her best, trying to explore as best she can while remaining unseen, and it works – for the most part – until it doesn’t. And when things take a turn, it’s a sad, startling turn. Moses does a great job of keeping his cards close to his chest before showing his hand and it’s at that point where we see Alice having to grapple with her desire to live with what she is versus her torment over who she is and how it might be better to die. It could easily be seen as metaphorical toward living with chronic pain – or you could take it at face value and accept it as an immortal ‘thing’ detested by those who know she exists longing for an exit strategy.
The ending worked really well and had me so happy with how the events played out. Although, to be fair, it would’ve worked well emotionally for it to go in a completely different direction.
What I didn’t like: I’m not 100% sure I totally got the ‘why’ behind the reasoning of her human guide’s decision they made. I think I get it, but I think I would’ve been happier if it had been made that much more explicit.
Why you should buy this: This novella rips along and even with such a short page count, you’ll fall head over heels for Alice and root for her – especially when she just wants to make a phone call. Moses has really created a truly outstanding novella here, one that grinds at the heart of a question that a lot of us ponder late into the night – what’s the point of all of this and how do we keep going?
Excellent.
May 10, 2023
"Grief is a tomb for those left behind. The true undead. An impossible weight, and you know? I hope it clings to me forever, because what is grief but unexpressed love? And if I still love her, shes still here somehow."
Grief is the overarching theme of this novella and the poetic writing as exampled above shows just how talented Scott Moses is.
This is a vampire novel but it's also not the important part. There is death and gore but it takes a back seat to the themes and inner dialogue of our protagonist.
It's a story of undisputed love, torment of who we are and what we have lost, how we proceed through life with our burdens, our needs and overall how do we deal with grief and continue to fight it to live another day.
Every word is expertly crafted. This is a writer who understands emotions and how he conveys this is brilliant and it breaks your heart.
Buy this book and support indie authors!
Grief is the overarching theme of this novella and the poetic writing as exampled above shows just how talented Scott Moses is.
This is a vampire novel but it's also not the important part. There is death and gore but it takes a back seat to the themes and inner dialogue of our protagonist.
It's a story of undisputed love, torment of who we are and what we have lost, how we proceed through life with our burdens, our needs and overall how do we deal with grief and continue to fight it to live another day.
Every word is expertly crafted. This is a writer who understands emotions and how he conveys this is brilliant and it breaks your heart.
Buy this book and support indie authors!
December 20, 2022
Scott J. Moses’ unique grasp on character lends itself well to the vampire sub genre. Our Own Unique Affliction puts the reader into the head of the “monster” like never before in a thought-provoking and atmospheric read that drips with blood and heart.
November 24, 2024
It really pains me to give this book such a low rating because I was really excited about this one and the story sounded very interesting. However the way the story was told with the time jumps, inner monologue and the missing consciousness of Alice Anne made this book quite confusing and hard to follow.
We also have an unreliable narrator but I do not mind that if it is done well and I am enjoying the book as a whole.
The author was trying to do something new with the vampire trope and I totally welcome that. But the parts of truth and reality mixed with the surreal aspects of the story only made it confusing to me and I was not able to enjoy this one.
I did appreciate a story told from a vampire’s point of view that talks about family, loss and the meaning of our existence. Unfortunately, this one just did not work for me.
We also have an unreliable narrator but I do not mind that if it is done well and I am enjoying the book as a whole.
The author was trying to do something new with the vampire trope and I totally welcome that. But the parts of truth and reality mixed with the surreal aspects of the story only made it confusing to me and I was not able to enjoy this one.
I did appreciate a story told from a vampire’s point of view that talks about family, loss and the meaning of our existence. Unfortunately, this one just did not work for me.
May 4, 2023
I think it’s time for me to admit that I like my vampires to sparkle. Cringy right?
I honestly think I’m just personally too dumb for this kind of horror. It was atmospheric and well written, my adhd just made it so hard for me to fully grasp what was going on. I’m so sorry friends. 😅
I honestly think I’m just personally too dumb for this kind of horror. It was atmospheric and well written, my adhd just made it so hard for me to fully grasp what was going on. I’m so sorry friends. 😅
January 17, 2024
I hear him rise through my wails. "We're each dealt our own unique affliction, Alice. Ours is death. Yours? Yours is life."
Imagine existentialism but for vampires. We follow Alice Ann as she roams, hunts, feeds, and ruminates over her life and its never-ending cycle. If she cannot die, is she even really alive? 🧠
This read to me a bit like a diary or a melancholic woman’s personal blog given that the 136 pages are limned with musings of a tired soul and nihilistic rhetoric. Alice Ann is an intriguing character and although I do not know what it is like to live for 200 years, I could understand her pain. The writing is rather ambiguous, favoring moody descriptions meant to place you in an emotion rather than a place, which is quite effective for what this story is trying to accomplish. However, the ambiguity and length of this novella comes at a price. 🩸
Besides Alice, there are two other characters of interest: Hannah Grace, Alice Ann’s sister, and Bodachi, who I imagine functions as the sisters’ keeper. These characters are inextricable from the climax yet we do not get to know much about them leaving me with many questions. But I think because this book tackles the “unknown” of life, the nebulousness aligns well. 🌟
Overall, Our Own Unique Affliction is a UNIQUE (see what I did there 😉) vampiric narrative to instill melancholia should you ever be in the mood. If you’re a fan of vampires and/or brooding character studies, sink your teeth right on in. 🦷
Imagine existentialism but for vampires. We follow Alice Ann as she roams, hunts, feeds, and ruminates over her life and its never-ending cycle. If she cannot die, is she even really alive? 🧠
This read to me a bit like a diary or a melancholic woman’s personal blog given that the 136 pages are limned with musings of a tired soul and nihilistic rhetoric. Alice Ann is an intriguing character and although I do not know what it is like to live for 200 years, I could understand her pain. The writing is rather ambiguous, favoring moody descriptions meant to place you in an emotion rather than a place, which is quite effective for what this story is trying to accomplish. However, the ambiguity and length of this novella comes at a price. 🩸
Besides Alice, there are two other characters of interest: Hannah Grace, Alice Ann’s sister, and Bodachi, who I imagine functions as the sisters’ keeper. These characters are inextricable from the climax yet we do not get to know much about them leaving me with many questions. But I think because this book tackles the “unknown” of life, the nebulousness aligns well. 🌟
Overall, Our Own Unique Affliction is a UNIQUE (see what I did there 😉) vampiric narrative to instill melancholia should you ever be in the mood. If you’re a fan of vampires and/or brooding character studies, sink your teeth right on in. 🦷
May 7, 2023
Our Own Unique Affliction is the best book I’ve read all year. Scott’s other works—Hunger Pangs, Non-Practicing Cultist, What One Wouldn’t Do—are all phenomenal in their own right, but OOUA is on a different level. This book drove me to tears multiple times, thanks to Moses’s superb ability to evoke emotion with his prose, and, upon finishing the book, I immediately turned back to page 1 and read through again. It was even better the second time.
This story, a continuation of the titular title in the aforementioned Hunger Pangs, is a tale of brooding loneliness and longing, of loss and the devastation that comes with it. I hesitate to say more, as this story is best experienced visceral and unspoiled, but believe me when I say that you have no idea what you’re in for, here. Moses is going to take you through the ringer, and you’ll be damn glad he did.
This is a book that you mark its release day on the calendar.
5 beautiful, bloody stars / 5
This story, a continuation of the titular title in the aforementioned Hunger Pangs, is a tale of brooding loneliness and longing, of loss and the devastation that comes with it. I hesitate to say more, as this story is best experienced visceral and unspoiled, but believe me when I say that you have no idea what you’re in for, here. Moses is going to take you through the ringer, and you’ll be damn glad he did.
This is a book that you mark its release day on the calendar.
5 beautiful, bloody stars / 5
July 20, 2023
I love vampires, dunno if you knew, I don't think its something thats obvious about me, I don't talk about it much.. anyway, wow this blew me away, this is an incredibly emotive character driven novella, the prose felt cathartic and painful, a beautifully written allegory on grief that feels like a warm embrace comforting you through the bleakness, exploring themes of loss and trauma through vampires was so clever and refreshing, this will stick with me for a while, I really enjoyed this authors writing, topics like this can be triggering but I felt safe
September 1, 2023
This was a really interesting read, and a unique take on the experience of a vampire.
At times bleak, this is an ethereal and at times confusing to be honest.
I think (I hope?) that was the intent of the author, I thought that mirrored Alice Ann's comprehension of events at times and her misaligned understanding due to the multiple incidences of memory changes/loss and difficulty at having lived so long. I haven't really seen that explored before in books I've read - the psychological effect of living for so long and the subsequent confusion and combining of linear memory of events, the effect of your abhorrent acts and not being in control and yet having a strong survival instinct that empowers you. It really made me think more deeply about what it would be like to be a vampire.
I read this in two sittings but with a gap inbetween and I wish I had read it in one sitting. I think I didn't get the full effect of this story having left it for a while. What I will say is that it was beautifully written. I keep getting a visual of a sort of foggy dream state that I want to wade through like I've not possibly grasped everything - and I think that was how Alice Ann felt. So this book gave me that experience whilst reading it which I might be alone in.. but I really appreciated.
Its not one of my usual reads but I would recommend.
At times bleak, this is an ethereal and at times confusing to be honest.
I think (I hope?) that was the intent of the author, I thought that mirrored Alice Ann's comprehension of events at times and her misaligned understanding due to the multiple incidences of memory changes/loss and difficulty at having lived so long. I haven't really seen that explored before in books I've read - the psychological effect of living for so long and the subsequent confusion and combining of linear memory of events, the effect of your abhorrent acts and not being in control and yet having a strong survival instinct that empowers you. It really made me think more deeply about what it would be like to be a vampire.
I read this in two sittings but with a gap inbetween and I wish I had read it in one sitting. I think I didn't get the full effect of this story having left it for a while. What I will say is that it was beautifully written. I keep getting a visual of a sort of foggy dream state that I want to wade through like I've not possibly grasped everything - and I think that was how Alice Ann felt. So this book gave me that experience whilst reading it which I might be alone in.. but I really appreciated.
Its not one of my usual reads but I would recommend.
February 15, 2025
One drunk post:
I have read this three times now and I still can not come up with a review for it. Because quite frankly I don't want anyone else to read it and yet I want everyone to read it. It broke me. It fixed me. I am beyond grateful it exists.
Thats it. That's the review. Read the book.
I have read this three times now and I still can not come up with a review for it. Because quite frankly I don't want anyone else to read it and yet I want everyone to read it. It broke me. It fixed me. I am beyond grateful it exists.
Thats it. That's the review. Read the book.
January 22, 2024
Dark, heavy, and haunting, this is an excellent exploration into grief and the struggle to find a meaning to it all. This isn't a book I feel can be explained, as it should be experienced first hand.
March 25, 2023
This was very confusing for me. So many time lapses and memories, I never knew what was what. It almost grabbed me several times but failed to latch. Also, the overuse of the word “girl” about killed me.
May 5, 2025
Scott J. Moses's writing is utterly beautiful. He is, and I cannot stress this enough, a very talented writer. In this novella, we follow Alice Ann--an immortal vampire who doesn't really see the point to it all. She is tired of this unending life and she is cold, longing to feel the sun again. Moses creates his own vampire mythology in this urban setting, which is pretty cool and unique. Alice Ann and her sister Hannah Grace have aligned with a vampire "wrangler" who drives them around in a semi-truck, keeping them safe and in the dark during the day. But this wrangler may not be what he seems. Moses also creates his own lore on vampire blood, as well as vampire starvation. While the story is great, dark and captivating--it's the character study and Alice Ann's existential dread that makes this novella so powerful. It is bleak, it is angsty, it is sad. How do we fight this feeling of meaninglessness in life? I will say that beneath it all, there is this glimmer of hope. I don't want to give anything away, but I liked this current of hope. We all suffer from our own unique afflictions, yeah? This will definitely resonate with the right readers.
May 2, 2023
I don’t *do* vampires, so I was somewhat hesitant to jump into this. If I do read a vampire book, I want a story more about unyielding, feral, blood-soaked abominations and less glittering/what pantaloons they chose for that night’s cotillion, etc. Well I’m glad I took the chance because this novella delivered on the former but with just enough of the latter. An interesting spin on the typical vampire story, showcasing the juxtaposition of the instinctual need to survive for an apex predator contrasted with handling the cards you didn’t ask to be dealt in life. Especially a very long, possibly eternal life. This story delivered some agonizing backdrops/situations and surprisingly deep character development for a book that’s just over 100 pages. Ultimately it made me think a lot, which is good. Predominantly existential thoughts, but also…are welcome mats loopholes for vampire invitations? 🤔
June 1, 2023
This was a very interesting horror novella. At first I felt as if it wasn't doing anything I haven't read or seen before. As I continued reading though it started to go down a path I didn't really see coming and got rather emotional. Since the cover art gives away basically what were dealing with I'm going to say it...so stop reading if you really want to go in blind. Vampires..its vampires. Specifically two sisters and their quote unquote familiar and what its like being a creature of the night and the loneliness and longing that goes along with not being able to die in a traditional sense. We follow Alice or Alice Ann she will say if she's in a mood. They were attacked as little children and lost their parents and become what they are now. At juuuust over 100 pages this is something I could easily knock out in an hour or two but I forced myself not to burn through the book right away. I'm glad I did this as it gave me more time to be able to think about what I was reading. If you're looking for not neccasarilly a NEW take on an old trope but still a very enjoyable and emotionally resonating story then you can't go wrong with this book. Oh and it's only 99¢ on Amazon kindle.
March 29, 2023
A fresh, somber spin on vampires and an exploration of grief through immortality, Our Own Unique Affliction will make you feel feelings you are unprepared for. Following Alice through repeated losses and to the edge of her tortured existence feels relatable in a way it shouldn’t, but Moses writes a vampire readers can relate to without pulling any punches. Go into this one prepared to be at least a little sad, folks. If I could go back in time knowing one thing? It would be to read this on a rainy day.
June 28, 2023
The author’s writing style for this story blew my away, there’s such confidence and clarity to his words that I felt at all times hooked into the mind of the immortal Alice. I have never anything by Scott before, but I’ll be looking out for his work from now on.
September 25, 2024
Sad, thought-provoking read. Interesting look at the loneliness of vampire life from the vampire's POV. Recommended.
March 8, 2023
If I was to give a one-line summation of my experience of Our own unique affliction, it would be that this is undeniably Scott Moses’ most bleedingly honest novella to date, and with honest, I refer to the crisis of identity, passion, and assumption of responsibility and self-analysis that I’ve come to know Scott battle with, as glimpsed through his social media content. Whilst I am unaware of the details of Scott’s trials, I do know that he has openly referenced his battle with mental health and wellbeing, and only that level of introspection and the fight for re-asserted self-worth could have produced the relationship Scott breathes to life in the pages of OOUA.
It’s both beautiful and repugnant. It makes you take a good look at your own reactions to the situations the main character finds herself in, and re-assess your own gratification of the events that follow. Why do we need to watch “vampires” live recklessly? Why do we need to live alternate lives through them so hedonistically?
Let’s take a step back for me to explain all that. Be warned, spoilers are coming up, so please skip this review if you want to remain unprejudiced by my opinions.
Still with me? Ok.
We start with Alice-Ann, out on the town, ready to drain some mortal, leaving her sister back at their base camp. We figure out pretty quickly that she’s a vampire with hypnosis thrown in for good measure, although the V word is not used in the novel (to my knowledge). Given we know the trope, we are rooting her on for the kill, happily accepting our own preconceptions about vampire-ism, and wanting them fulfilled.
So, here’s the thing, Alice’s sister is paying the price for her sister’s freedom to choose her lifestyle. By focusing all our attention on Alice, by playing to the reader’s prejudices, we happily ignore the plight of the elder sister, though we know there is something wrong there. We ignore it. We want to focus on the lifestyle we can only imagine. But that comes with a price, a price we don’t find out about until the end. A price Alice doesn’t even perceive until it is too late to change.
One person’s life choices in a relationship impinge on the other person’s. One sister assumes responsibility so that the other can assume none and blossom in their freedom and right of expression. And when that person finally sees the damage their other half has endured in enabling their prior freedom – the whole thing crashes down. But way too late to do anything about it.
Now, and this is speculation on my part - this may all be an allegory for mental health (or it may not). This may be Scott’s own tribute to those that enabled his fight with that issue, how he recognizes other people’s parts in his own battle, how, having focused on his own mental health, he is now free to praise those that sacrificed their time and effort for him to win that battle, acknowledging in his own way the need to have focused on his own requirements, yet now, in reflection, the sacrifice of others own needs during that time needs to be acknowledged, and the grief and guilt of that weight of recognition is its own unique affliction.
I may be totally wrong about this.
But it feels like a love letter. The sisters, and their relationship with one another, it’s very real. Moses, quite rightly, focuses on the core relationship, time and again, yet we are caught up in the need for an adventure for Alice, and we almost miss the point. Moses throws hallucinations and time shifts into the narrative to build background, context, and emotion. He plays with the V trope that remains unnamed, and brings detail to the circulatory systems of the undead. Shows us greed.
It's hypnotic and sad, and emotion-laden. It’s Moses doing what he does, giving a glimpse of what he has lived through, internally fighting for the right to live free of self-denial and find self-worth.
This isn’t an easy read. It has action, it has an engaging - if somewhat complicated -plot, but I think it fair to say that a good portion of the book is internal dialogue, revelation, and introspection, or that is the impression I had having read through the book. It’s worth your time in the book, but going in, you know it will hurt.
I’m giving this 5 ⭐ ‘s, I can’t say I loved this. I can’t say it’s enjoyable, but it’s definitely gripping, thoughtful, and as I said above, bleedingly honest.
Thank you, Scott.
I received a copy of OOUA as an ARC, with gratitude, from Andrew Fowlow at Dark Lit Press, and this review represents my honest opinion.
It’s both beautiful and repugnant. It makes you take a good look at your own reactions to the situations the main character finds herself in, and re-assess your own gratification of the events that follow. Why do we need to watch “vampires” live recklessly? Why do we need to live alternate lives through them so hedonistically?
Let’s take a step back for me to explain all that. Be warned, spoilers are coming up, so please skip this review if you want to remain unprejudiced by my opinions.
Still with me? Ok.
We start with Alice-Ann, out on the town, ready to drain some mortal, leaving her sister back at their base camp. We figure out pretty quickly that she’s a vampire with hypnosis thrown in for good measure, although the V word is not used in the novel (to my knowledge). Given we know the trope, we are rooting her on for the kill, happily accepting our own preconceptions about vampire-ism, and wanting them fulfilled.
So, here’s the thing, Alice’s sister is paying the price for her sister’s freedom to choose her lifestyle. By focusing all our attention on Alice, by playing to the reader’s prejudices, we happily ignore the plight of the elder sister, though we know there is something wrong there. We ignore it. We want to focus on the lifestyle we can only imagine. But that comes with a price, a price we don’t find out about until the end. A price Alice doesn’t even perceive until it is too late to change.
One person’s life choices in a relationship impinge on the other person’s. One sister assumes responsibility so that the other can assume none and blossom in their freedom and right of expression. And when that person finally sees the damage their other half has endured in enabling their prior freedom – the whole thing crashes down. But way too late to do anything about it.
Now, and this is speculation on my part - this may all be an allegory for mental health (or it may not). This may be Scott’s own tribute to those that enabled his fight with that issue, how he recognizes other people’s parts in his own battle, how, having focused on his own mental health, he is now free to praise those that sacrificed their time and effort for him to win that battle, acknowledging in his own way the need to have focused on his own requirements, yet now, in reflection, the sacrifice of others own needs during that time needs to be acknowledged, and the grief and guilt of that weight of recognition is its own unique affliction.
I may be totally wrong about this.
But it feels like a love letter. The sisters, and their relationship with one another, it’s very real. Moses, quite rightly, focuses on the core relationship, time and again, yet we are caught up in the need for an adventure for Alice, and we almost miss the point. Moses throws hallucinations and time shifts into the narrative to build background, context, and emotion. He plays with the V trope that remains unnamed, and brings detail to the circulatory systems of the undead. Shows us greed.
It's hypnotic and sad, and emotion-laden. It’s Moses doing what he does, giving a glimpse of what he has lived through, internally fighting for the right to live free of self-denial and find self-worth.
This isn’t an easy read. It has action, it has an engaging - if somewhat complicated -plot, but I think it fair to say that a good portion of the book is internal dialogue, revelation, and introspection, or that is the impression I had having read through the book. It’s worth your time in the book, but going in, you know it will hurt.
I’m giving this 5 ⭐ ‘s, I can’t say I loved this. I can’t say it’s enjoyable, but it’s definitely gripping, thoughtful, and as I said above, bleedingly honest.
Thank you, Scott.
I received a copy of OOUA as an ARC, with gratitude, from Andrew Fowlow at Dark Lit Press, and this review represents my honest opinion.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 24, 2024
I'm not really hitting my stride this year (so far) with Indie Horror but this was a lot better than my other recent attempts. It has this really moody writing, almost a bit noir like, and while I thought it was going extremely hard with this style (too hard?) I also definitely enjoyed the vibes it created. It's a classic "let me tell you my story" first person narrative but from the POV of a female vampire.
"That familiar jealousy after each kill. The opportunity to die and how it's lost on my sister and I."
There are a lot of very typical vampire lit tropes, like the ennui of eternal life, the burden of living in constant night, not being able to consume human foods but thirsting for blood. It's all here, shrouded in a sulky but strong narration. We get the flashbacks to how our narrator became a vampire, the occasional memory flash of a time before. Standing on a mountaintop waiting for the sunrise.... I felt like there was little we hadn't seen before but it was executed with enough conviction that I could fall for this ride.
"Grief is a hole in your heart forever unsatisfied. Insatiable, and gorging on you a bite at a time."
When it comes to plot, I liked the direction we were heading but I didn't always appreciate the execution. See, without spoiling much of this novella, at some point we make a jump, our main character loses consciousness and wakes up captive. And we have to go back with her in memory bursts to fill out what happened and I definitely had rather seen a straight forward unfolding of the plot. I feel like this left some holes and questions that weren't necessary. This cut also killed my momentum with the story and I had to regain investment. There is also a newly introduced character that I feel our vamp girl was way too attached to considering she literally just met her.... All that being said, this gives you what you likely will ask for when picking up a vampire story with this kind of a beautiful cover art and such a dramatic title: bleak enough to be depressing, tender and forlorn when it needs to be, solid yet not a feast of splattering of blood and guts. And underneath it all it's just a tale of two sisters.
"Grief is a tomb for those left behind."
"That familiar jealousy after each kill. The opportunity to die and how it's lost on my sister and I."
There are a lot of very typical vampire lit tropes, like the ennui of eternal life, the burden of living in constant night, not being able to consume human foods but thirsting for blood. It's all here, shrouded in a sulky but strong narration. We get the flashbacks to how our narrator became a vampire, the occasional memory flash of a time before. Standing on a mountaintop waiting for the sunrise.... I felt like there was little we hadn't seen before but it was executed with enough conviction that I could fall for this ride.
"Grief is a hole in your heart forever unsatisfied. Insatiable, and gorging on you a bite at a time."
When it comes to plot, I liked the direction we were heading but I didn't always appreciate the execution. See, without spoiling much of this novella, at some point we make a jump, our main character loses consciousness and wakes up captive. And we have to go back with her in memory bursts to fill out what happened and I definitely had rather seen a straight forward unfolding of the plot. I feel like this left some holes and questions that weren't necessary. This cut also killed my momentum with the story and I had to regain investment. There is also a newly introduced character that I feel our vamp girl was way too attached to considering she literally just met her.... All that being said, this gives you what you likely will ask for when picking up a vampire story with this kind of a beautiful cover art and such a dramatic title: bleak enough to be depressing, tender and forlorn when it needs to be, solid yet not a feast of splattering of blood and guts. And underneath it all it's just a tale of two sisters.
"Grief is a tomb for those left behind."
April 28, 2023
I'm not sure why this book appeared on my Kindle--did I see a review a while back and order it? Did the cover art sell me? Or was it because I'll never deny a vampire story?
I don't know when or why I ordered it, but I read this novella when it showed up this week, and I'm glad I did. Because you know what I love even more than vampire stories? Grief horror. And this is grief horror through and through: cathartic, wondering, painful, and beautiful.
I was honestly a bit lost for about 20% of this book, unsure about what was happening, and how intentional the blurring between past and present, dreams and reality, fact and memory was, and it almost pushed me away about 75% into the book. I rode it out though, and the payoff was worth it. The last chapter is a gut-punch, in the very best way.
This elegant little book is going to be bouncing around in my head for a while.
I don't know when or why I ordered it, but I read this novella when it showed up this week, and I'm glad I did. Because you know what I love even more than vampire stories? Grief horror. And this is grief horror through and through: cathartic, wondering, painful, and beautiful.
I was honestly a bit lost for about 20% of this book, unsure about what was happening, and how intentional the blurring between past and present, dreams and reality, fact and memory was, and it almost pushed me away about 75% into the book. I rode it out though, and the payoff was worth it. The last chapter is a gut-punch, in the very best way.
This elegant little book is going to be bouncing around in my head for a while.
May 4, 2023
* I received a free copy of this novella from Goodreads
I don’t think this novella is for me and that’s okay. Other people seem to really enjoy the philosophical musing wrapped up in the immortality bestowed to vampires. Maybe it’s my own brain issues but I honestly for the life of me couldn’t figure out what was going on. I know Alice was dealing with grief, loss, life, family, immortality, and who she is as a person. However it was just difficult to follow what was real or fake it happening now or the past or never at all.
The confusing jumps between lucidity and fever dreams mixed with time jumps made this a difficult and altogether terrible read. I was really excited to read this one based on the reviews and the synopsis but I feel catfished by this story. It feels more like a really well detailed and thought out brainstorming session. I feel there was a lot of characters (Raeger, Imani, dream guy, Julia etc) and plot points that were sprinkled in but never given the attention they deserved.
Like what exactly was Bodechi doing with Hannah’s blood? How did that help him and the big Pharma and his family? Why was Hannah and Alice even mixed up with him and his cronies to begin with? They were alive forever and could mine control people. They honestly should have been able to have enough money to life comfortably away from drama like that.
Maybe it’s all just an allegory that my neurodivergent brain can’t fully understand because it’s not accessible to me. I don’t know. Regardless I don’t think I’ll read more from this author again but that’s okay.
I don’t think this novella is for me and that’s okay. Other people seem to really enjoy the philosophical musing wrapped up in the immortality bestowed to vampires. Maybe it’s my own brain issues but I honestly for the life of me couldn’t figure out what was going on. I know Alice was dealing with grief, loss, life, family, immortality, and who she is as a person. However it was just difficult to follow what was real or fake it happening now or the past or never at all.
The confusing jumps between lucidity and fever dreams mixed with time jumps made this a difficult and altogether terrible read. I was really excited to read this one based on the reviews and the synopsis but I feel catfished by this story. It feels more like a really well detailed and thought out brainstorming session. I feel there was a lot of characters (Raeger, Imani, dream guy, Julia etc) and plot points that were sprinkled in but never given the attention they deserved.
Like what exactly was Bodechi doing with Hannah’s blood? How did that help him and the big Pharma and his family? Why was Hannah and Alice even mixed up with him and his cronies to begin with? They were alive forever and could mine control people. They honestly should have been able to have enough money to life comfortably away from drama like that.
Maybe it’s all just an allegory that my neurodivergent brain can’t fully understand because it’s not accessible to me. I don’t know. Regardless I don’t think I’ll read more from this author again but that’s okay.
April 26, 2023
I was given an ARC of Scott Moses' novella, 'Our Own Unique Affliction', by Andrew Robinson of DarkLit Press, on the Books of Horror Freview group on Facebook. This was an unexpected treat; I knew beforehand this would be an interesting story, since everything I've read from DarkLit Press has been extraordinarily rewarding. And, indeed, the novella has its moments. It's about a couple of vampire sisters, Hannah Grace and Alice Ann, the story told through the latter's point of view, the younger sister's. There's blood, the vagaries of sisterhood, some standard vampire lore, and an original take on the vampire-human relationship, all leading to a satisfying ending. It reads like a standard vampire tale, of the highest calibre. In fact, however, the novella seemed to me to be mostly an allegory on grief - on getting stuck, emotionally and mentally, because of childhood trauma. Combined with a vampire's immortality, grief leads to a purgatory of endless rumination and emotional inertia. A good chunk of Alice Ann's life is like that. A unique affliction. Sometimes, the grief and the rumination outweigh the story; sometimes, the reverse. No wonder this has the following bizarre trigger warning (among others): "musings on the nature of reality. How little we know." Thank you DarkLit Press.
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April 9, 2023Immortality. It’s more of a curse than a blessing. Days are pure monotony. No end in sight. Darkness eternal when you long for warmth and light. What is it all about?
I found this story to be confusing at first. I felt like my pages were shuffled. My epub ARC didn’t have things italicized and it got better when I went to pdf. Come to find out that it was supposed to be jumpy. Things got explained to a point.
When you feel like you are doing everything in your relationship with little reciprocation, make sure you have all the pieces before you guess what the picture is.
I found this story to be confusing at first. I felt like my pages were shuffled. My epub ARC didn’t have things italicized and it got better when I went to pdf. Come to find out that it was supposed to be jumpy. Things got explained to a point.
When you feel like you are doing everything in your relationship with little reciprocation, make sure you have all the pieces before you guess what the picture is.
June 6, 2024
Our Own Unique Affliction opens with this incredibly stylish, lushly drawn scene, featuring a character who oozes cool. I defy anyone to read the first chapter and not *need* to move on to the second.
But what really made me love this book was that I thought that was setting me up for something, and Moses blindsided me, completely.
Yes, that character's voice permeates the book, bringing you onside and carrying you through, but the novella features so much more depth, and so much more heart than I could have expected. And, with such a slim page count, it really is one where every page - hell every paragraph - counts.
I keep thinking the 'classic' horror tropes have been done, then books like this come along and make me think about them in an entirely different way.
Superb!
But what really made me love this book was that I thought that was setting me up for something, and Moses blindsided me, completely.
Yes, that character's voice permeates the book, bringing you onside and carrying you through, but the novella features so much more depth, and so much more heart than I could have expected. And, with such a slim page count, it really is one where every page - hell every paragraph - counts.
I keep thinking the 'classic' horror tropes have been done, then books like this come along and make me think about them in an entirely different way.
Superb!
April 4, 2024
This is a beautifully written novella about a vampire named Alice Ann and her sister Hannah Grace. They have been vampires since the 19th century. Throughout the novella, Alice Ann remembers her parents and the farm she lived at before her parents were murdered and she and her sister were turned, as well as grieves for past and present losses. Some of the major themes in this book are grief, loss, and family (both blood and chosen). This has now become one of my favorite vampire books. And even though I very much enjoy vampire books that have sex and romance, I appreciate that this novella contains no sex and very little romance. I will definitely reread this soon and seek out more of Scott J. Moses's work.
March 3, 2023
"How many dead stars are you made of?"
"Just the one."
This was wonderful. I'm not usually one for vampire stories but if they were all like this I'd be reading more.
Heartbreaking in a lot of ways, Anna's struggle with living (or not living), the breaking down of her relationship with her sister Hannah. I was so invested in these characters, and especially towards the end of the story I was so hopeful for Anna.
The ending was wonderful, definitely what I felt was needed for the story, but also not what I was expecting!
Can't recommend this enough, thank you DarkLit for providing a copy.
"Just the one."
This was wonderful. I'm not usually one for vampire stories but if they were all like this I'd be reading more.
Heartbreaking in a lot of ways, Anna's struggle with living (or not living), the breaking down of her relationship with her sister Hannah. I was so invested in these characters, and especially towards the end of the story I was so hopeful for Anna.
The ending was wonderful, definitely what I felt was needed for the story, but also not what I was expecting!
Can't recommend this enough, thank you DarkLit for providing a copy.
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