Why do we have difficulty accepting God's unconditional forgiveness? And why do we find it so impossible to grant that same forgiveness to others?
The bottom-line issue of life is forgiveness—that’s the conclusion of Dr. Robert Jeffress after more than two decades in Christian ministry, and most of us would agree. Yet few of us have mastered the art of implementing forgiveness in our lives. Combining rich, biblical insights with practical, real-life situations, When Forgiveness Doesn’t Make Sense effectively answers your burning questions regarding this critical issue, giving you not only the “why’s,” but also the elusive “how’s” of choosing to forgive.
**Inside: A detailed look at the surprising results of the Barna Research Group's specially commissioned national opinion study of Americans' views on forgiveness.
Dr. Robert Jeffress is senior pastor of the 16,000-member First Baptist Church, Dallas, Texas, and is a Fox News contributor. His daily radio program, Pathway to Victory, is heard on more than 1,000 stations nationwide, and his weekly television program is seen in 195 countries around the world. Jeffress has appeared on many media outlets, such as Fox & Friends, Hannity, Good Morning America, and Real Time with Bill Maher. He is the author of more than 30 books, including Not All Roads Lead to Heaven, Choosing the Extraordinary Life, 18 Minutes with Jesus, What Every Christian Should Know,and The 10. He lives in Dallas.
Around this time last year, my husband and I were placed in a very difficult situation, that ultimately resulted in us becoming estranged with his parents. The hurt and anger we felt was deep, and at times I believed we would never come out of it. There was never any admittance of wrongdoing on their part, which made forgiveness seem like an impossible task. I had a tear-filled conversation with my dad, about how I could feel bitterness taking root in my heart, and I was afraid of letting the hurt turn me into someone just as monstrous as the ones who hurt me and my husband. The following day, I received this book from my dad... I cannot tell you want an enormous answer to prayer it was.
At the time I started reading this book, we were being chastised by my in-laws for not just "forgiving and forgetting," and were told that we clearly weren't good Christians, because "as Christ we are to forgive." The hurt was still so fresh, and without any remorse being shown by my in-laws, they were brazenly demanding forgiveness from me while in the same breath tarnishing our names within the family for being "unforgiving." I felt confused - what was I to do? I felt like they were expecting me to forgive and then embrace a relationship with them again, but fear was preventing me from doing so. What if they hurt me the same way again? What was preventing this horrible mess from happening over and over again?
Dr. Jeffress answered every one of my questions. I learned that "forgiveness is not synonymous with reconciliation, restoration, or even releasing a person of consequences that might arise from their wrong...Repentance is our offender's responsibility; forgiveness is our responsibility." I learned that there are three ingredients necessary to achieve reconciliation with someone: repentance, restitution, and rehabilitation. Although those who wronged me were attempting to blame the lack of reconciliation on me, it was something that was out of my hands, and that I have the right to keep my distance until that person has shown me a genuine change of heart and behavior.
On the flipside, Dr. Jeffress showed me that forgiveness is something that I need to grant for my own sake. It's possible to forgive someone who never says he is sorry. Forgiveness has no strings attached, and it's the antidote to the bitterness that can spread and wreak havoc in our lives. The situation has still not resolved itself, but with help from this book, I feel truly free from my hatred and bitterness towards those who hurt me. I feel like I can move on, and the next time I find myself having difficulty forgiving someone, I can revisit this book. I can't recommend this book enough! Forgiveness is something that the Church doesn't teach often, and when it does, we gloss over the many conflicting aspects. The Bible has a lot to say on matters of forgiveness, and I'm so glad Dr. Jeffress took the time to walk us through it.
Great book on being able to heal and release forgiveness when the offender doesn’t show remorse for their actions. I feel lighter not having to carry that burden. My key takeaway was forgiving someone doesn’t release the offender of consequences for their offense, but it can detach the emotional damage that connects me to the offender.
This book helped me see the difference between the nonnegotiable command of forgiveness and all the other things I was lumping together with it that sometimes just aren’t possible nor advisable: restitution, reunification, reconciliation, etc.
What a great book. Hit home on so many points. Walks you through all the steps to being set free and walking in forgiveness. I passed it onto a friend who is going through this very journey as well.
This book is excellent. First, I am a huge fan of Dr. Jeffress, and I listen to him every morning at 5:00. Second, I've been struggling with some very specific hurt that has consumed me for quite a while now. Further, there are some other hurts that rare their ugly heads into my life, now and again. This book is an awesome lesson on forgiving others because God forgave us. We are required to forgive others. Though I knew this, intellectually, but this book contains biblical verses that back up everything that Dr. Jeffress has written about, and these verses spoke to my heart. I now understand all aspects of forgiveness, and I'm ready to turn the pasts hurts loose. I know that one can not forget; however, it's a sin to not forgive. I finished this book just in time to enter into a fresh new year!!!
Read in 2000. Made these notes: The moral gulf between us and our offender is NOT that significant (Pharisee & Prostitute) Repentance and remorse are necessary to receive forgiveness; they are not prerequisites for granting forgiveness. Grace is forgiveness when you don't deserve it, and you don't even ask for it. It is the assurance of love.