1/5 Stars
TL;DR - A bland, contrived mess that spends way too much time creepily describing character’s physical appearances and what kind of cars everyone is driving, and spends only fleeting moments on the sci-fi element that’s never properly explained, only to end in an abrupt and yet boring cliffhanger. The epitome of “The Audacity of This Man”.
Big thanks to Severn House and NetGalley for providing the ARC for this book in exchange for an honest review!
'The Rowan' by Davis Bunn is a "sci-fi" book about a magic tree that elevates human consciousness...or something. More on that below. It follows Valentina Garnier, a journalist who receives a tip about a big story from a former contact that leads her to a remote Russian island, and the experience changes her and (allegedly) the course of humanity's future.
I was going to write a big long rant review, but this book is so genuinely terrible that I’m going to save us all time and headaches by being as brief as possible.
The beginning is all heavy-handed, boring exposition. Characters are over-described in what I can only call, “man pretentiously describing flat characters to prove how cool he thinks he is”. We get paragraph after paragraph of the history of a building or whatever for no reason other than, you know, the author has to let us know how smart he is and how much he knows about stuff. This goes on and on for the whole book. Bro, I don’t care how cool and intelligent you think you are, move on.
This book was filed under sci-fi/fantasy on NetGalley, but it’s barely that. Mundane things are over-described and then the titular tree gets a few pages of vague nonsense before the book devolves into a political “thriller”. Fantastical elements are just…there. Never described in more than a passing way, and only ever “explained” in vague, pseudo-scientific jargon that tells me nothing about anything at all. The connection between the magic tree and the futuristic technology people come up with after encountering it is never explained, other than “being from another dimension tells us how”, and even then that’s me inferring the connection because it’s never explained. Furthermore, the link between the tree and this being is, again, never explained.
Characters are flat, boring, and nearly interchangeable. And they are described in the creepiest, most superficial way. Everyone is sexy, or a “hunk”, or a geek, or whatever - just caricatures that all speak like they’re in some soulless, testosterone-driven action film. Everyone is shallow and vague, just like the rest of this book.
I honestly have to question if the author has ever interacted with another human being in his life because the characters either speak like AI-generated captions or complete juvenile morons, even when they’re supposed to be ivy-league scientists and career politicians. No conversation reads like a real person is speaking, and it’s laughably cringe-inducing.
And then there’s the just…complete disconnected audacity of the author. A Thai character is called “Oriental” repeatedly and a Jewish-coded character nicknamed “the Rabbi” is high up in the government and responsible for ending careers of enemy politicians through subterfuge and espionage. Excuse me, sir? What year did you crawl up out of to write this shit?
And then there’s the absolute garbage nonsense about autism. This book was written within the last 3 years as it mentions Covid, and the book talks about kids with Asperger’s, which has been a defunct term since 2013. And then there’s a lot of really strange and incorrect language used when talking about autistic people - “autism scale”, “along the Asperger’s-autism line”, “mildly autistic” - as well as harmful misunderstandings and stereotypes - the main character questions why parents would dare to take their autistic kid on a vacation, and another insinuates that all autistic people are self-absorbed. Then, of course, the implication is made that nearly everyone flocking to the magic tree is autistic or have a family member who is, and they come back “cured”. Like, first off, gross. Second, as an autistic person myself (who also had an autistic best friend for close to 15 years), I can tell that this man a) knows nothing about autism except for vague (harmful) stereotypes, and b) had the audacity to just write whatever the fuck he wanted and did no research on it whatsoever. Clearly no autistic sensitivity readers were hired, either, because, simply-put, yikes.
To top it all off, this book is BORING. Like, endless chatter, endless descriptions, but no real plot. Everything has this false veneer of tension, but it’s just the author shouting “THERE’S TENSION!!!” and then, like, never doing anything about it. I started skimming at 37%, skipping over massive paragraphs of superfluous descriptions - I don’t care what they’re eating, what they’re wearing, what kind of car they’re driving. (Which, by the way, is this book sponsored by Honda? I ask because it’s only ever mentioned EVERY SINGLE TIME a car or boat is on-page.) People just know things, but it’s never explained how they know them, and at a few points, this unexplainable knowledge is a major plot point. So much useless info, so little substance. This book is only 192 pages, but it feels like a week has passed.
And then, the book just ends. Like, abruptly. Nothing is resolved. There was no plot arc, no climax and resolution. It just ends, and we get the first chapter of the next book, which I didn’t read because I don’t care what happens.
Final Thoughts:
In as few words as possible: Utter garbage.
I don’t know anything about the author other than he’s supposedly a prolific and successful writer and currently in-residence at a university in the UK, to which I have to ask - how? Why? Who does he know and whose money and name did he use to get there? Because I refuse to believe someone read his writing and thought it was anywhere close to good. Truly a mystery /s
I will not be reading anything by this author ever again. No thank you.