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262 pages, ebook
First published March 21, 2023
“You’re not just a pretty face, Doc.”
“Doc?”
“You got a Ph.D., right?” I quipped.
“A doctor of philosophy, not medicine.”
“I think Doc suits you.” — Dylan and Max
Warnings: In Ava's words "Mentions of alcohol addiction, anxiety disorder, childhood abuse." I will add there are references to the casting couch (in this case sexual harassment)
Starboard is just a gorgeous story of healing and not necessarily bi-awakening but something close to that. It shows the first real time Dylan has given into his urge to be with men. He's known he was bi from the time he was in college if not earlier, but now at 38 he wants, needs to live his truth. What could have easily been a Summer fling or less becomes so much more... It is souls bared, total trust stars-aligned love. It is sweet and low angst. It is immensely easy to sink into and pleasing to read, just two men learning each other and themselves on a yacht, the Now, Voyager. The angst that does exist comes from without not within. Max never makes light of Dylan's issues and takes his lead on them, honestly, it is a way realistic writing. Ana Olson makes some interesting creative choices, at least for me. Some choices that were just a little different from what would be normal for the genre.
I really recommend this if the blurb appeals and the potential issues aren't offputting for you. There are definitely some topics that may be problematic for some readers; Ava Olson warns of mentions of alcohol addiction, anxiety disorder and childhood abuse. Addiction and anxiety disorder are frequent and highly influential on the plot. I would encourage readers sensitive to those topics to read multiple reviews before making a choice. We are in the mind of Dylan an actor struggling with alcohol addiction, he is just over two years sober. His anxiety is among other things social and fear of flying. The childhood abuse is discussed in only a few places but was pivotal in making Dylan who he is and informs some of his life choices.
Max Lowell is working as a ghostwriter for Dylan on his autobiography. He's a divorced father of one with a (loaded) selfish ex, Dante, who pushes for full custody every few months. Their daughter is 13-year-old Blake. One of Dante's complaints about Max was always that he was unfeeling and somewhat distant, Max is astounded when he meets Dylan and all his protective and comforting instincts start to fire. Max was born and raised in New York. Nothing matters to him more than Blake, that is a fairly common thread. But there is more to him than just being a dedicated dad, that was an important balance to strike for Olson. I appreciated the design of his character, the sharing of stories to create common links, the instant regret when asking a question about sexuality and the knowing when to leave and when to push. He was a good match for Dylan. Dylan Aylmer is an actor, in the vein of action and superhero films. He's an introvert with a Texan drawl and charisma to spare, it's an odd mix. He is twice divorced, distant from his family, a survivor of child abuse and a recovering alcohol addict. We do find out the whys for his divorces and get an understanding of most of his actions. I relate to Dylan in a way. The anxiety in crowds and the alcoholic father. The ba**ard never hit me once I could fight back but he did hit my brother. Psychologically abused all three of us inc my mother. It's something you have to experience to understand. The anxiety is an extension of my introverted personality.
Some quotes and comments
• I love the title. There are multiple meanings to it for me. The starboard side of the deck is Dylan's favourite place to go when he is anxious or stressed. For those who don't know the starboard side is the right side of the deck looking towards the front of the boat. “Because you and I, you and I are…” I paused. “I’m better with words on paper, but you and I are inevitable. We’ll figure it out, baby. I promise.” (Max) I couldn't help but see the connection between starboard, right and this quote. Is it a stretch? Probably but I saw it.
• Max is introduced to the reader as "Max aka Maxwell Lowell, B.A., M.A., Ph.D., English professor, fiction author, and ghostwriter." I found it kind of amusing to have a character who is an author. Especially, an author Writing mm romance/mystery to indulge his wants and as a break from reality. It isn't necessarily an uncommon path I've read more than one book written under a pseudonym for an academic.
• The tabloids had feasted on my broken soul, and I was left a shattered carcass in the desert.
But I crawled back to life on my hands and knees— inch by inch, hour by hour, day by day. — There is such visceral beauty to this. You can feel his pain. (Dylan)
• I guess most won't need the reminder but... a baby will never fix a marriage it often makes it worse and screws up the child.
• When I read about his divorces I had a couple of thoughts. 1. Erin was an idiot, she deserved that divorce. 2. I had the "good for her" reaction to Bianca. She deserved better than an addicted husband while she was going sober. 3. I started seeing mirrors to reality. When it comes to his marriages Dylan reminds me a bit of Kimi Räikkönen. When it comes to his first wife Jenni, he was still a wild child so was she. When he was ready for change, she wasn't (rumours, rumours). Hence their divorce and his extremely successful marriage to Minttu. They are more mature. (The book by Kari Hotakainen is worth reading btw)
• I like the jumps in time. One or two weeks at a time just to keep the story moving forward.
• “While all this has been highly entertaining, Aiden, I’m done being your verbal piñata for the evening,” — Sarcasm is a hard game to pull off in fiction. But with Aiden, you can tell the difference between the affectionate and the malicious. Well done Ava Olsen. (Aiden)
• I needed to include the recipe for Cowboy Caviar as much for me as anyone else. I really want to try it and I'm always looking for unusual recipes to take to family functions.
I found all the characters to be great in their own ways. I note some of the stand-outs. Blake is a brilliant choice for a child whip-smart and perspective or maybe manipulative, she'd make a challenge for any parent (was she based on anyone?). Quinn is Dylan's sponsor, I was just pleased to see a sponsor included I like the temperament he has. Essentially sponsors are key to the AA system. Jared... 😍 I adore Jared. He is all quirk, long hair, no shoes and attitude. Perceptive too. He's currently living in a castle Jared is the director of Field of Blood the film Dylan is in France to film. I adore Aiden too. Aiden is a British lawyer running in the same circles as Dylan and Jared. He is all attitude, sarcasm specifically. I can't even with him. Lastly are the protagonists of Oh, Buoy, Rowan Carter and Andrew Slater, their cameo is most welcome. I like their personalities they counter Dylan and Max so well.
Ava announces at the end of the book that the next story, The Cockpit features Rafe Carter and George Bernard. This is absolutely no surprise to those who read the end of this paying even passing attention, Rafe is Rowan's model come photographer brother, and George is the Captain of the Now, Voyager. They have this whole enemies-to-lovers thing going on. In the epilogue, we get an exchange between Reed Larkin and Tate Aduma, Dylan's co-stars. Tate scoffed. “We don’t need to hear about your meet-cute, Reed.”
“Like you’d know anything about dating, Tater. You just bang and run,” Reed replied.. These two have total best-friends-to-enemies-to-lovers energy going on. I would guess they slept with each other and someone had regrets, now regretting that reaction. The last one is a dream poly set-up. The snarky Aiden, the quirky Jared and Jared's hardass security manager Alex. There is something going on there already but I'm not certain what, there was something going on in the shadows at the pre-filming party. The only question is how these last two couples end up on the Now, Voyager, particularly Jared he has more than enough money.
“I’m starting to believe that a merman put a love spell on Now, Voyager and now all who board are susceptible to its power,” — Andrew
Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from Gay Romance Reviews, and this is my honest review.
A representative gif:
My justification of this gif is a quote... "Suddenly, he looked up and stunning pale-green eyes met mine. The man before me looked like a younger, healthier version of the photos I’d seen online. But photos had nothing on the real thing. With sharp cheekbones and a seductive pout, it was no wonder he’d been popular. The media dubbed Dylan ‘the modern-day James Dean,’ and now I understood why." Max the first time he meets Dylan (also omg James Dean)
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