Confessions of a Pretty Lady: Stories True and Otherwise

by Sandra Bernhard

The comedienne/actress shares the crazy-quilt story of her childhood in New York and Los Angeles and the medley of weird and wonderful characters with whom she grew up

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Memoir, Poetry

128 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1988

About the author

Sandra Bernhard is an American comedian, actress, and author. She first gained attention in the late 1970s with her stand-up comedy where she often bitterly critiques celebrity culture and political figures. She is also famous for her close friendship to Madonna during the late 1980s. Bernhard is number 97 on Comedy Central's list of the 100 greatest standups of all time.

Reviews

[Kaethe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a sucker for the books of comedians, because writing comedy is hard, and it deserves respect, and awards, and plentiful sales.

[Kris Hurst · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMG, a completely underrated account. I read this book millions of years ago and I was assaulted by someone with great humor, wit & humility. I always suggest this book but few succeed in finding it and reading it. I'll never forget it.

[Greg Converse · Rating 5 out of 5]

I said she was the coolest thing in a leather jacket since Joey Ramone. She signed my copy, "To the coolest dude." I admit freely, I'm a dork and a nerd and socially retarded. And Sandra Bernhard is cool.

[Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very quick read of many short moments in Sandra’s life. Some interesting, some just putting you back in the 1960s time period when she was in grade school. Brief flashes of her as she grows up and eventually gets a role in a major movie. Everything is short and brief. Parts are like poems.
I recently watched a collection of video clips of every time she was a guest on Letterman. She is wild and crazy.
I have this book from 1988, “Love, Love and Love” from 1993, and “May I Kiss You On The Lips, Miss Sandra?” 1998. I’m eager to read them all.

[Amanda Kole · Rating 3 out of 5]

love the Bernhard. Her freedom has influenced a large portion of my young adult life. Openness is freedom.

[John Young · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's been YEARS since I read this, but I love her, and this is a great introduction to her view of the world, circa late-1980s...

[Hank Stuever · Rating 3 out of 5]

My friends and I were all about her for a time, and then it gets old. Some funny parts here.

[Jeremy · Rating 5 out of 5]

my muse.

[Alex Sarll]

When my millennial spouse asked what I was reading here, I was quiet for longer than usual before coming out with "...she was really cool in the nineties". And she was, wasn't she? There are fragments of it preserved in films – not least that fabulous double act with Richard E Grant in the deeply underrated Hudson Hawk – but they weren't really why Sandra Bernhard was a big deal, any more than the later acting roles of Peter Cook or Peter Ustinov explain their significance. Yes, I'm sure you can watch the chat show appearances &c on YouTube now, but that wouldn't have the same impact as it used to when media was so much narrower and out of nowhere these fabulous, larger than life figures would just be there, making the world more fun all of a sudden. To be honest, I was expecting this memoir to disappoint, something like that slightly forced gag-heavy, US-stand-up-turned-writer effect of Carrie Fisher's books, which I like less than everyone else seems to. But it's not that at all, much more wistful and fragmentary, written in small sections (often just a paragraph, seldom more than a page) separated by a curious device which looks halfway between yin-yang and a dark elf throwing star. They more often end in a sense of lost time or bittersweet memory than a laugh: "That's the way Arizona was, kind of like thumbing through a magazine, looking at the pictures, then having somebody throw it out before you ever got to read the stories." And I have no idea how much of it is true, but I really hope the Isaac Bashevis Singer story is, not least because this bumped my first go at reading him, so the coincidence is perfect. It all adds up to a strangely tentative read; even more than the acting roles, the book is at most circumstantial evidence of the charm and chutzpah of her, her role in pop culture back then. But for some types of fame, once they've slipped far enough into the past, that's the best we get.

[Cooper · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[René · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this a long time ago. Wonder if I should give it another look -- probably a lot of it went over my head at the time.

[Charles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just like Madonna said on the cover: this book saved my life!

[Ingrid Burniston · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny. But also sad. Good book!

[Jim · Rating 3 out of 5]

at its best, this book remimds me of eve babitz, which is high praise.

but only three starts because as much as a like her impressions--

"They moved away so suddenly that i never found out where they went on to. That's the way Arizona was, kind of like thumbing through a magazine, looking at the pictures, then having somebody throw it out before you ever got to read the stories"

"I'd given her a ride home every day to her apartment on Kings Road, which I never drive down anymore because everyone I know who lived on that street fucked me over."

"I am a casual participant in a tgame that everyone swears means nothing at all. And I live in the Valley... it'a a place where you can formulate your own point of view, because it isn't demanding, or jampacked with hustlers and actresses looking for sugar daddies.
people are just a little bit "geeky," but they mind their own business in great little Spanish houses of Moorpark. ... I watch from my bedroom window as cars and tricks with good values head west on the Ventura Freeway, crisscrossing the night spewing out their own particular hopes and and disappointments practically on my doorstep as they glide by..here in North Hollywood I have uncomplicated feelings...its mile after mile of people who don't have a bone to pick..." --

--her adult confessions are wanting and sort of disappointing.

[Mitch · Rating 4 out of 5]

“My parents wouldn’t join the country club; my Mother, being an artist, thought it was pretentious. It’s because of that I never had a nose job and consequently became the girl I wanted to be.”

[Russty · Rating 1 out of 5]

She's one of those who laughs at her own jokes, even the one's that aren't funny!!!

[Eleanor Schmidt · Rating 4 out of 5]

All the materiel of her first one woman show. Touching, hysterical and just a little odd.

[Dmitriy · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was described to be funny and inspirational. I found it to be extremely odd. There was nothing funny about it. On the opposite, I found it to be actually depressing and a bit dark.