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How Kyoto Breaks Your Heart
20-something and uncertain about her future, Florentyna Leow is exhilarated when an old acquaintance offers her an opportunity for work and cohabitation in a little house in the hills of Kyoto. Florentyna begins a new job as a tour guide, taking tourists on elaborate and expensive trips around Kyoto’s cultural hotspots. Amidst the busy tourist traps and overrun temples, Florentyna develops her own personal map of the a favourite smoky jazz kissa; a top-shelf katsuobushi loving cat; an elderly lady named Yamaguchi-san, who shares her sweets and gives Florentyna a Japanese name. Meanwhile, her relationship with her new companion develops an intensity as they live and work together. Their little kitchen, the epicenter of their shared life, overlooks a community garden dominated by a fruitful persimmon tree. Their relationship burns bright, but seasons change, the persimmon tree out back loses its fruit, and things grow strange between the two women.
How Kyoto Breaks Your Heart is a collection about the ways in which heartbreak can fill a place and make it impossible to stay.
How Kyoto Breaks Your Heart is a collection about the ways in which heartbreak can fill a place and make it impossible to stay.
110 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 23, 2023
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2218 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 154 reviews
June 6, 2023
To love a place is to love its people, and to love a place is to let it break your heart.
I have a strong personal connection to Leow's work - we're both foreign women in Japan, we both did the Tokyo-Kyoto-Tokyo bounce, and we both spent formative years of our life in the city (her two Kyoto years even overlapped with my eight). Our experiences differ in important ways, though, most notably because she passes as Japanese.
No one is ever too nervous to sit next to me on the train. I rarely receive the English menu. When I walk into a restaurant in rural Japan, the whole place will never fall silent, and no one will stare at me in fear of having to communicate in English, or worse, simply in fear of me. I will never have the size of my breasts loudly discussed in the onsen on the assumption I don’t understand what’s being said.
Those all, in some variation, have happened to me, and I'm glad she recognizes her passing privilege. At the same time, I wish I can do what she does - be invited into homes on a whim, not thought a tourist at first sight, be treated as a local! With a white face like mine, I'm only able to pass on the phone.
Sigh.
Still, despite this major difference, many of our thoughts are the same. We both love our corners of the city and the gentle dialect of Kansai-ben spoken there. We both find peace in temples and tradition. And we both have a complicated relationship with Kyoto, and with leaving it.
We leave broken eggshells behind us all the time; the point is to make them count.
I'd like to give a more objective review of her essays and prose, but my heart won't let me. Suffice it to say if you'd like to read poetic essays about living as a foreigner in this most beautiful of cities, Leow has you covered.
February 22, 2023
(Out tomorrow.) On the face of it, this collection has quite a lot in common with Nina Mingya Powles’s Tiny Moons, from the same publisher: travel- and food-inspired essays that loop through some of the same experiences of loneliness and disorientation. The writers also have a similar background, with Leow a Malaysian Chinese woman living in Japan. She is able to pass for Japanese and so is experienced at code-switching as she moves from temple to jazz bar to teahouse and learns new dialects and accents.
For some years she made a living by leading tours she could never have afforded herself. Much as she loves Kyoto and its sights, she tired of the crowds and of seeing the same temples all the time. It took a stranger observing that she seemed unhappy in her work for her too realize it was time for a change.
This disillusionment and the end of her friendship with her female housemate are the main themes of this short book, especially in the six-part title essay. Interestingly, she describes the end of their relationship in the sort of terms that would generally be used for a romantic break-up, despondently querying what went wrong between them when they had been so happy picking and cooking the fruit from the persimmon tree outside their apartment window. Indeed, later on she cites the concept of a “romantic friendship.”
But I think what she was really mourning was the temporary nature of life. We’re nostalgic for golden times we can never get back. I think of parts of my early twenties like that. I wouldn’t necessarily trade my life now to go back in time (or maybe I would), but those periods will always glow in my memory.
My favourite essays were “Persimmons,” “A Bowl of Tea,” “A Rainy Day in Kyoto” and “Egg Love” – prove you care for someone by learning how they like their eggs. This wasn’t a particularly stand-out read for me, especially in comparison to the Powles, but I’d happily read more by Leow in the future.
A favourite passage:
Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.
For some years she made a living by leading tours she could never have afforded herself. Much as she loves Kyoto and its sights, she tired of the crowds and of seeing the same temples all the time. It took a stranger observing that she seemed unhappy in her work for her too realize it was time for a change.
This disillusionment and the end of her friendship with her female housemate are the main themes of this short book, especially in the six-part title essay. Interestingly, she describes the end of their relationship in the sort of terms that would generally be used for a romantic break-up, despondently querying what went wrong between them when they had been so happy picking and cooking the fruit from the persimmon tree outside their apartment window. Indeed, later on she cites the concept of a “romantic friendship.”
But I think what she was really mourning was the temporary nature of life. We’re nostalgic for golden times we can never get back. I think of parts of my early twenties like that. I wouldn’t necessarily trade my life now to go back in time (or maybe I would), but those periods will always glow in my memory.
My favourite essays were “Persimmons,” “A Bowl of Tea,” “A Rainy Day in Kyoto” and “Egg Love” – prove you care for someone by learning how they like their eggs. This wasn’t a particularly stand-out read for me, especially in comparison to the Powles, but I’d happily read more by Leow in the future.
A favourite passage:
REASONS FOR TEA
To celebrate. To thank someone. To enjoy the scent of different incense. To listen to the rain. To view an autumn moon reflected on a pond outside. To watch snow blanket the garden. To hear the texture of that silence. To walk through freshly fallen snow before dawn on the way to the teahouse. To drink tea by candlelight. To remember someone. To bask in the light, the cool of early summer mornings. Because it is spring. Because the leaves are changing colour. Because it is autumn. Because the plum blossoms are out. Because the world is beautiful. Because why not?
Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.
July 12, 2025
We have so many ways to handle romantic breakups, but so few to navigate friendship breakups. It’s hard to talk about losing close friends. Most of us don’t have the vocabulary for it, because it feels like failing at a compulsory class everyone passes just for turning up. It’s a painful and embarrassing fuck-up, a wound you can’t admit to publicly.
Well lets say that not many books was talking about friendship breakup. Depending on the reader's point of view, reading this book may lead to an entirely distinct viewpoint. Because it's likely that some people don't like to disappear without telling their friends when they feel they don't have the same wavelength, while others might enjoy doing so. But talking about how terrible it is, losing a friend without a warn is so painful. Well through this book, i know those feelings are valid, and we sometimes need pukpuk for a while to bargain with those right?
May 27, 2023
4.5/5 stars
How Kyoto Breaks Your Heart is the kind of book wherein readers have different opinions based on their own life experiences. Just in about 96 pages, it works on several different levels. To me, I found the constant theme of ‘belonging’ to be the most overwhelmingly intimate. A job. A city. A friendship. Do you belong in your team of colleagues and the company as a whole? Do you belong in a city which is not your home? Do you truly belong in a friendship? And as a reader, do you belong in the environment of this book?
~~BELONGING IN A CITY~~
Having lived a sheltered life, I do not have any life experiences about living in a different city or working in multiple jobs. I have lived in my current city Mumbai all my life. I love it here with all its faults. I also spend time in another city Pune from time to time. And somehow, Pune feels more like home to me than Mumbai. And the reason for that is just completely unbeknownst to me. It all boils down to how the city makes you feel, I suppose. I love the unabashed honesty that Pune offers. I love the laid-back style of the people there. I love how the roads are full of women covered in scarf and sun coat riding on their scooters all over the city. I love how the city has a heritage for several arts. More so, I love how the city’s vibes align with my own. But, be it Mumbai or Pune, both are my home cities.
In the book, we see the Malaysian-Chinese protagonist find a sense of belonging in Japan. To feel that when people can be judgemental and racist can be quite difficult. So, it’s not just about the city anymore, but also about the society. And yet, we see how she carves her little world in comfort places in Kyoto. The sense of belonging in Kyoto is as natural to her as the sense of belonging I feel in Pune.
~~BELONGING IN A JOB~~
I have been at my first and current job for six years. It started off rocky wherein I was not sure if I liked it. Then, slowly it became familiar and perhaps interesting. In these six years, I worked in different roles, all challenging ones. Do I sometimes wonder if I am too comfortable in my job? Do I sometimes wonder if I have anything more to gain from this job? Do I sometimes wonder what’s out there for me? Of course. But, I know myself and my role well enough to know the answers to these questions too. It takes a while to really feel like you are an important person in a team and even more time in an organization as a whole (especially when there are over 600000 employees.) It takes a while to know you are respected and trusted enough to be empowered at your job. But, when I wonder, I know that everyone in my Team must feel that sense of belonging. As for belonging in the field I chose, which is, Human Resources… I wonder about that too. But, I have seen myself grow for the better because I chose HR, so isn’t that something?
As for the author, exploring jobs in retail, customer service, travel and then journalism was so interesting to read. The grass is always greener. We think that travel agents must love their jobs because they get to travel all the time. But, we never understand that they might have been to that same place 50 times and now find it mundane. The way the author explored different fields until she found the one where she found her sense of belonging was inspirational to read. You have to belong not just with the people you work with, but also the field of your work. And the latter aspect which is written in the novel is not explored upon as much. So, I loved to be on that journey of discovery.
~~BELONGING IN A FRIENDSHIP~~
More so than anything else, this book talks about belonging in a friendship. It feels weird to say that, doesn’t it? Friends are kind of like your found family, so why do we need to talk if we belong with our friends? I suppose that’s why there is so little literature on the topic.
Writing about lost friends is painful, whether you leave them or are the one who gets left. I have been in both the scenarios, so I understand the emotions all too well. Every friendship has its ups and downs, so even when it is over, there are always some good memories that we cling to. The pain is too much, no matter how much time passes, as is the remorse, regrets and ‘what if’ stories that we keep telling ourselves. And yet, with so many people having lost so many friends, we have so little content (books/movies) that talk about this all too painful event with all too many dilemmas.
In this book, you really feel for the author. She and her flatmate went from being close friends to nothing at all with no explanations. Friendships that sink with no possible closures hurt so much more because there is a lifetime of questions you have in your mind. Was it your fault? What could you have done differently? Was it something you did on purpose or something that is embedded in your personality? What if you took them for granted? So many what ifs with so many unanswered questions. And the pain just lingers forever.
~~MORE THOUGHTS~~
This is a tiny book with a big impact. Perhaps that’s why I just can’t stop writing about it. Aside from the theme of belonging, there were other things which I truly loved and had to highlight. I loved how the author has made the daily routine things into something exquisite. With friends, we do have memories of the trips we took together or the restaurants we dined at but it’s the in-between and continuity scenes which are never captured but always stay with us. For instance, the author has mentioned about “how she normally had a bird-like appetite but almost always had space for ice cream” or “the way she pedalled up a hill on her small black bike” or “her face illuminated by the glow of her laptop as she tapped away.”
The persimmon tree in the backyard of a house you rented that gets chopped down. The vintage café where you were a regular gets closed down. How you are never able to get tea like in the city you lived in. Sometimes, the people from the city you lived in pass away too.
The glory of these moments is invaluable and lives with us forever even after the friendship ends or when you move to a different city or start working at a different job. It’s those little inconsequential things which become enough to shed tears years later. This book is tiny but mighty and gets you thinking on levels you would not have imagined. I think everyone should read this book to find their own meaning within it.
Full Review:Mindscape in Words
How Kyoto Breaks Your Heart is the kind of book wherein readers have different opinions based on their own life experiences. Just in about 96 pages, it works on several different levels. To me, I found the constant theme of ‘belonging’ to be the most overwhelmingly intimate. A job. A city. A friendship. Do you belong in your team of colleagues and the company as a whole? Do you belong in a city which is not your home? Do you truly belong in a friendship? And as a reader, do you belong in the environment of this book?
~~BELONGING IN A CITY~~
Having lived a sheltered life, I do not have any life experiences about living in a different city or working in multiple jobs. I have lived in my current city Mumbai all my life. I love it here with all its faults. I also spend time in another city Pune from time to time. And somehow, Pune feels more like home to me than Mumbai. And the reason for that is just completely unbeknownst to me. It all boils down to how the city makes you feel, I suppose. I love the unabashed honesty that Pune offers. I love the laid-back style of the people there. I love how the roads are full of women covered in scarf and sun coat riding on their scooters all over the city. I love how the city has a heritage for several arts. More so, I love how the city’s vibes align with my own. But, be it Mumbai or Pune, both are my home cities.
In the book, we see the Malaysian-Chinese protagonist find a sense of belonging in Japan. To feel that when people can be judgemental and racist can be quite difficult. So, it’s not just about the city anymore, but also about the society. And yet, we see how she carves her little world in comfort places in Kyoto. The sense of belonging in Kyoto is as natural to her as the sense of belonging I feel in Pune.
~~BELONGING IN A JOB~~
I have been at my first and current job for six years. It started off rocky wherein I was not sure if I liked it. Then, slowly it became familiar and perhaps interesting. In these six years, I worked in different roles, all challenging ones. Do I sometimes wonder if I am too comfortable in my job? Do I sometimes wonder if I have anything more to gain from this job? Do I sometimes wonder what’s out there for me? Of course. But, I know myself and my role well enough to know the answers to these questions too. It takes a while to really feel like you are an important person in a team and even more time in an organization as a whole (especially when there are over 600000 employees.) It takes a while to know you are respected and trusted enough to be empowered at your job. But, when I wonder, I know that everyone in my Team must feel that sense of belonging. As for belonging in the field I chose, which is, Human Resources… I wonder about that too. But, I have seen myself grow for the better because I chose HR, so isn’t that something?
As for the author, exploring jobs in retail, customer service, travel and then journalism was so interesting to read. The grass is always greener. We think that travel agents must love their jobs because they get to travel all the time. But, we never understand that they might have been to that same place 50 times and now find it mundane. The way the author explored different fields until she found the one where she found her sense of belonging was inspirational to read. You have to belong not just with the people you work with, but also the field of your work. And the latter aspect which is written in the novel is not explored upon as much. So, I loved to be on that journey of discovery.
~~BELONGING IN A FRIENDSHIP~~
More so than anything else, this book talks about belonging in a friendship. It feels weird to say that, doesn’t it? Friends are kind of like your found family, so why do we need to talk if we belong with our friends? I suppose that’s why there is so little literature on the topic.
Writing about lost friends is painful, whether you leave them or are the one who gets left. I have been in both the scenarios, so I understand the emotions all too well. Every friendship has its ups and downs, so even when it is over, there are always some good memories that we cling to. The pain is too much, no matter how much time passes, as is the remorse, regrets and ‘what if’ stories that we keep telling ourselves. And yet, with so many people having lost so many friends, we have so little content (books/movies) that talk about this all too painful event with all too many dilemmas.
In this book, you really feel for the author. She and her flatmate went from being close friends to nothing at all with no explanations. Friendships that sink with no possible closures hurt so much more because there is a lifetime of questions you have in your mind. Was it your fault? What could you have done differently? Was it something you did on purpose or something that is embedded in your personality? What if you took them for granted? So many what ifs with so many unanswered questions. And the pain just lingers forever.
~~MORE THOUGHTS~~
This is a tiny book with a big impact. Perhaps that’s why I just can’t stop writing about it. Aside from the theme of belonging, there were other things which I truly loved and had to highlight. I loved how the author has made the daily routine things into something exquisite. With friends, we do have memories of the trips we took together or the restaurants we dined at but it’s the in-between and continuity scenes which are never captured but always stay with us. For instance, the author has mentioned about “how she normally had a bird-like appetite but almost always had space for ice cream” or “the way she pedalled up a hill on her small black bike” or “her face illuminated by the glow of her laptop as she tapped away.”
The persimmon tree in the backyard of a house you rented that gets chopped down. The vintage café where you were a regular gets closed down. How you are never able to get tea like in the city you lived in. Sometimes, the people from the city you lived in pass away too.
The glory of these moments is invaluable and lives with us forever even after the friendship ends or when you move to a different city or start working at a different job. It’s those little inconsequential things which become enough to shed tears years later. This book is tiny but mighty and gets you thinking on levels you would not have imagined. I think everyone should read this book to find their own meaning within it.
Full Review:Mindscape in Words
April 22, 2025
For fans of Tiny Moons - really lovely.
February 23, 2023
How Kyoto Breaks Your Heart is a wonderfully rich and visceral essay collection featuring travel and food, the breakdown of friendship and self-discovery, delving into loneliness and isolation felt in a foreign country.
This was a really timely read for me as Leow reflects on the break up of her friendship, similar to a romantic breakup and hurt felt by it. I loved how this collection showcased the how life isn’t forever, and that parts of life aren’t always plain sailing. I also really enjoyed how this collection took you through Kyoto via her job as a tour guide. Whilst the essays weren’t in chronological order I felt that this added to the personal element of the collection, you could really feel what Leow was going through and the nostalgia felt. HKBYH is beautifully lyrical and poignant book.
All in all a lovely little essay collection with a focus on food, loneliness, persimmons and love which will stick with me for a long time to come.
This was a really timely read for me as Leow reflects on the break up of her friendship, similar to a romantic breakup and hurt felt by it. I loved how this collection showcased the how life isn’t forever, and that parts of life aren’t always plain sailing. I also really enjoyed how this collection took you through Kyoto via her job as a tour guide. Whilst the essays weren’t in chronological order I felt that this added to the personal element of the collection, you could really feel what Leow was going through and the nostalgia felt. HKBYH is beautifully lyrical and poignant book.
All in all a lovely little essay collection with a focus on food, loneliness, persimmons and love which will stick with me for a long time to come.
May 1, 2023
"Sound travels further as the temperatures drop, and the melody of our neighbour's bamboo flute was clearest in the winter months. Its solemn, lingering notes, were almost like the mountain singing to itself"
How Kyoto Breaks Your Heart - I have never read a book, a memoir that mirrors my life so close.
This book, I would give it a million stars if I could. I love it so very much that I read it slowly coz I don't want it to end. I have this book with me everywhere I go, I read it in the subway, at my favourite coffee shop, on my bed, on the couch, at lunch at work. I underlined, annotated it, and wrote in it.
The process of reading this book itself has given me so much sweet memories.
Let me tell you one of them:
I was waiting for a friend, so I decided to read a bit at my favourite coffee shop.. There I read a chapter called "Some Small Dive", without knowing that it was indeed about a jazz coffee shop, kissaten. She was describing about the sound and atmosphere at kissaten. Meanwhile I was there sitting, reading what she had to say. Gosh! It feels like the book came alive at that time. I could picture it clearly where she was at, the sound, the scents, the atmosphere. I got lost in the book, like I could travel myself to where she was at.
There is something so gentle, like a feather falling, the way Florentyna wrote this memoir. Her writing, so simple, beautiful, honest and raw. Raw not in a harsh way, but in a delicate way.
It makes me want to go to Kyoto and see it from her eyes. Not only that, it left me with a feeling of longing for a place or a home. It also made me reflects to all of the things that is going on in my life as I am reading hers. The people she met, how it impacted her life in some ways. The people I met, and how it changed my life in some ways too. Always mirroring.. back and forth.
There are so many similarities the way she felt about these places, events, and life she had in Kyoto. Like, I never felt so seen and understood. I smiled, I got teary with her. I nodded my head as I can relate to a lot of things she said.
This is the book that will stay with me in a long time, maybe forever.
I started with a huge excitement, but finished with something deeper than that. Something like a friend, a comfort and a lesson.
Thank you The Emma Press for publishing this book. Thank you Florentyna for sharing your heart to the world. Your book comforts me more than you'd ever know.
How Kyoto Breaks Your Heart - I have never read a book, a memoir that mirrors my life so close.
This book, I would give it a million stars if I could. I love it so very much that I read it slowly coz I don't want it to end. I have this book with me everywhere I go, I read it in the subway, at my favourite coffee shop, on my bed, on the couch, at lunch at work. I underlined, annotated it, and wrote in it.
The process of reading this book itself has given me so much sweet memories.
Let me tell you one of them:
I was waiting for a friend, so I decided to read a bit at my favourite coffee shop.. There I read a chapter called "Some Small Dive", without knowing that it was indeed about a jazz coffee shop, kissaten. She was describing about the sound and atmosphere at kissaten. Meanwhile I was there sitting, reading what she had to say. Gosh! It feels like the book came alive at that time. I could picture it clearly where she was at, the sound, the scents, the atmosphere. I got lost in the book, like I could travel myself to where she was at.
There is something so gentle, like a feather falling, the way Florentyna wrote this memoir. Her writing, so simple, beautiful, honest and raw. Raw not in a harsh way, but in a delicate way.
It makes me want to go to Kyoto and see it from her eyes. Not only that, it left me with a feeling of longing for a place or a home. It also made me reflects to all of the things that is going on in my life as I am reading hers. The people she met, how it impacted her life in some ways. The people I met, and how it changed my life in some ways too. Always mirroring.. back and forth.
There are so many similarities the way she felt about these places, events, and life she had in Kyoto. Like, I never felt so seen and understood. I smiled, I got teary with her. I nodded my head as I can relate to a lot of things she said.
This is the book that will stay with me in a long time, maybe forever.
I started with a huge excitement, but finished with something deeper than that. Something like a friend, a comfort and a lesson.
Thank you The Emma Press for publishing this book. Thank you Florentyna for sharing your heart to the world. Your book comforts me more than you'd ever know.
September 9, 2025
some books you just know you’ll love, and it’s immensely gratifying when you turn out to be right. almost like earning a little victory badge from knowing yourself well.
how kyoto breaks your heart had a lot to live up to, having a similar concept and coming from the same publisher as tiny moons. it’s not quite the same thing but it’s delicate in its own right, with leow’s love for her favorite haunts, memories, and rituals shining through beautifully.
to reduce this book to being about a “friendship breakup” is rather reductive, as it is so much more than that. we get to experience kyoto through the author’s unique lens as a young non-japanese part-time tour guide in kyoto, with all the struggles that accompany it — struggling to make ends meet, slipping through the cracks between foreign and local, fitting into a different culture. the falling out is just one thread woven through the fabric of leow’s kyoto.
the level of introspection and self-awareness that leow possesses stops how kyoto breaks your heart from falling into a typical bunch of young twenty-something woes, first world problems even. her vulnerability sets the book apart. although specific details on sensitive topics are glossed over, descriptions of things she loves and how she feels are always elaborately furnished. i felt like i was right there with her, unsure of what to do myself, ruminating over words spoken long ago, unable to let go of something already broken.
if you liked tiny moons, i think you’ll appreciate this one too.
-----
24 June 2023
new favorite alert! finally a favorite from a malaysian-born author.
but a review is not gonna be here for a long long time because this is one of those books that idk how to review precisely because of how much i loved it. it wasn’t perfect, but it was (almost) perfect for me. objectively, maybe 4-stars but throw in emotional bias into the mix and it’s 5-stars. then again, so much of reading is feeling.
how kyoto breaks your heart had a lot to live up to, having a similar concept and coming from the same publisher as tiny moons. it’s not quite the same thing but it’s delicate in its own right, with leow’s love for her favorite haunts, memories, and rituals shining through beautifully.
to reduce this book to being about a “friendship breakup” is rather reductive, as it is so much more than that. we get to experience kyoto through the author’s unique lens as a young non-japanese part-time tour guide in kyoto, with all the struggles that accompany it — struggling to make ends meet, slipping through the cracks between foreign and local, fitting into a different culture. the falling out is just one thread woven through the fabric of leow’s kyoto.
the level of introspection and self-awareness that leow possesses stops how kyoto breaks your heart from falling into a typical bunch of young twenty-something woes, first world problems even. her vulnerability sets the book apart. although specific details on sensitive topics are glossed over, descriptions of things she loves and how she feels are always elaborately furnished. i felt like i was right there with her, unsure of what to do myself, ruminating over words spoken long ago, unable to let go of something already broken.
if you liked tiny moons, i think you’ll appreciate this one too.
-----
24 June 2023
new favorite alert! finally a favorite from a malaysian-born author.
but a review is not gonna be here for a long long time because this is one of those books that idk how to review precisely because of how much i loved it. it wasn’t perfect, but it was (almost) perfect for me. objectively, maybe 4-stars but throw in emotional bias into the mix and it’s 5-stars. then again, so much of reading is feeling.
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September 4, 2024“To love a place is to love its people, and to love a place is to let it break your heart.”
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Kyoto is one of the top places I intend to visit because I love the city's rich culture and history. So yes, I picked this book up because the title intrigued me and I hoped it would give me a glimpse of the city through the eyes of a local, but it gave me more than I expected.
This book is classified under Travel Literature/Autobiography, but I would also add it under Sad Girl Lit. As much as the book was about Kyoto, it was also about the relationships the author had made and the people she had drifted away from. The author's transparency of her journey made the book feel like a love letter to the city and herself.
A quiet and intimate book. It reminded me of the book Cold Enough for Snow by Jessica Au, which I read early this year. The book represented the vibes of a kissaten. It's a place where everyone comes alone so they can be in the presence of other people's loneliness.
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Kyoto is one of the top places I intend to visit because I love the city's rich culture and history. So yes, I picked this book up because the title intrigued me and I hoped it would give me a glimpse of the city through the eyes of a local, but it gave me more than I expected.
This book is classified under Travel Literature/Autobiography, but I would also add it under Sad Girl Lit. As much as the book was about Kyoto, it was also about the relationships the author had made and the people she had drifted away from. The author's transparency of her journey made the book feel like a love letter to the city and herself.
A quiet and intimate book. It reminded me of the book Cold Enough for Snow by Jessica Au, which I read early this year. The book represented the vibes of a kissaten. It's a place where everyone comes alone so they can be in the presence of other people's loneliness.
March 30, 2024
'How Kyoto Breaks Your Heart' is an intimate little essay collection about the impermanence of life.
It's Florentyna Leow's account of her experience of living in Kyoto for 2 years, and everything she learned while working there as a tour guide.
It's a sentimental story with a focus on belonging, friendships, love and loss.
I found the author's musings, learnings and observations very relatable, and I appreciated her vulnerability and honesty in this book.
It's a lovely book I'd recommend to readers who are looking for a light and easy, but immersive read.
It's Florentyna Leow's account of her experience of living in Kyoto for 2 years, and everything she learned while working there as a tour guide.
It's a sentimental story with a focus on belonging, friendships, love and loss.
I found the author's musings, learnings and observations very relatable, and I appreciated her vulnerability and honesty in this book.
It's a lovely book I'd recommend to readers who are looking for a light and easy, but immersive read.
April 3, 2023
A slow, sweet and sentimental story, all about the temporariness of life; time, nature and ultimately friendships.
Peppered with wonderful phrases, astute observations and a plethora of delightful foodie fuelled chatter, How Kyoto Breaks Your Heart felt like a (less refined) mash up of Ella Risbridger’s Midnight Chicken and Nina Mingya Powels Tiny Moons (both of which I absolutely LOVED).
This book reads very much like a debut -mainly due to the very cathartic (and slightly chaotic -structurally speaking) like sentences and exploration of self awareness contained within each essay, but with no real resolution (such is life I guess).
A small pocket of quiet and melancholy that should be read slowly -and perhaps with an accompanying cup of matcha and a side of ripe persimmon !
3 stars
Peppered with wonderful phrases, astute observations and a plethora of delightful foodie fuelled chatter, How Kyoto Breaks Your Heart felt like a (less refined) mash up of Ella Risbridger’s Midnight Chicken and Nina Mingya Powels Tiny Moons (both of which I absolutely LOVED).
This book reads very much like a debut -mainly due to the very cathartic (and slightly chaotic -structurally speaking) like sentences and exploration of self awareness contained within each essay, but with no real resolution (such is life I guess).
A small pocket of quiet and melancholy that should be read slowly -and perhaps with an accompanying cup of matcha and a side of ripe persimmon !
3 stars
August 16, 2023
Friendship break up is really something, tbh 😟🥺Lebih menyakitkan dari putus cinta. Membaca ini sebagian besar mengingat kan about that feeling all over again.
August 26, 2024
"We take turns becoming the ones who leave. We make ghosts of ourselves and the ones we once loved. Like seasons, we change, transitioning into the next phase of life. We try and fail to forget. We grow, outgrow, and are outgrown. But none of it ever seems to hurt any less."
I started this book with a prejudice that came from a quote I came across on the internet, initially, I thought this would be a pure heartbreaking story. The reviewer said this book is about a friendship breakup, a topic that is rarely captured in books. There’s something about a friendship breakup that is harder to portray than a romantic one. People don't talk about it enough. And that makes it harder to even acknowledge how it makes people feel. Sometimes, there are no hints, no clues, but after it happens, the fog clears just like that. Maybe the bond we thought was strong was never even there to begin with.
The story is told from the first-person perspective of a woman who loses her friend, with whom she shares a house in Kyoto. Every little thing in Kyoto is tied to her friend somehow—the legendary beautiful persimmon tree, the high-quality Kyoto food, the fresh air, etc. Seems like Kyoto and her are a unity, both a place she used to call home.
The narrative the writer uses is very introspective, sometimes filled with a heavy dose of self-loathing which creates a pretty dramatic story-telling. She hates herself to some extent, and being left by someone significant has deepened the wound. What’s even more painful, and makes the book cut deeper, is the way the main character keeps reopening the unhealed wound right after her friend leaves her. I think this book is a personal journey of grieving someone you thought would always be by your side—a friend, a companion, and, since the leaving friend was her housemate, someone who creates the sense of Coming Home.
Every part of the story almost always feels close—the Asian background of the MC, the constant introspective and retrospective, and the fact that the writer was born in Malaysia. The way there are bits of her that are already a part of me too makes it easier to be empathetic with the story she tells. The most damaging part is how I can understand the pain by reflecting on the main point of the book, I once, experienced the same thing too. I lost a friend, and it was once tied to the place I used to call home. There is so much light that comes inside me by reading this book, like being left by a friend can be a sudden turn to a new chapter of life. How losing the sense of a home in a person, takes away our comfort zone with them too. Again, we grow, outgrow, and are outgrown.
It’s a beautiful short read; the story is easy to follow. The only issue is that the few shifts in the story are a bit scattered, but I can understand why. The writer highlights emotions, not sequence, and I appreciate that kind of writing too!
February 18, 2025
I think I enjoyed the first half of this book more than the second half strangely. Still, it was good, really well written and I think it's interesting to write about the breaking down of a friendship. The feelings of insecurity and dependence that she describes are quite relatable. Also some excellent descriptions of what it feels like living as a foreigner in another country.
I can't quite put my finger on what I didn't like towards the end. Maybe it got a bit too romanticising of Kyoto? Or I found some of the relationships a bit confusing, like the old woman she drank tea with. Not quite sure. But I really liked the first half of the book a lot, particularly the ways she describes place and memory and nostalgia.
I can't quite put my finger on what I didn't like towards the end. Maybe it got a bit too romanticising of Kyoto? Or I found some of the relationships a bit confusing, like the old woman she drank tea with. Not quite sure. But I really liked the first half of the book a lot, particularly the ways she describes place and memory and nostalgia.
January 23, 2024
Ulasan menyusul
April 4, 2024
“We grow, outgrow, and are outgrown. But none of it ever, ever seems to hurt any less.”
This book ruined me. Will be laying in bed, staring at the ceiling for the foreseeable future.
This book ruined me. Will be laying in bed, staring at the ceiling for the foreseeable future.
March 28, 2025
4.5/5 - As expected, I loved it so much.
November 25, 2023
“We have so many ways to handle romantic breakups, but so few to navigate friendship breakups. It’s hard to talk about losing close friends. Most of us don’t have the vocabulary for it, because it feels like failing at a compulsory class everyone passes just for turning up. It’s a painful and embarrassing fuck-up, a wound you can’t admit to publicly.”
20-something and uncertain about her future, Florentyna Leow is exhilarated when an old acquaintance offers her an opportunity for work and cohabitation in a little house in the hills of Kyoto. Their little kitchen, the epicenter of their shared life, overlooks a community garden dominated by a fruitful persimmon tree. Their relationship burns bright, but seasons change, the persimmon tree out back loses its fruit, and things grow strange between the two women.
How Kyoto Breaks Your Heart is a memoir that touches on the many possible ways a place you love can break your heart.
I loved this! The book’s dedication warmed my heart - For everyone who has ever lost a friend. This wasn’t an easy read, not because, like the author, I’ve lost a few friends, so it stung. Some friendships fade, and you don’t even realize it until the connections are dead, and all you have are the memories.
“..when you try to belong somewhere, your chosen home becomes a reminder of what you stand to lose.”
I loved experiencing Kyoto through Leow’s lens. Save some Japanese anecdotes the author mentioned, most things she wrote about hit home. You may find this relatable, depending on whether or not you’ve had a relationship turn sour. I enjoyed this book more than I can write about. I appreciate the author’s vulnerability with this one. I hope you liked it as much as I did if you've read it.
20-something and uncertain about her future, Florentyna Leow is exhilarated when an old acquaintance offers her an opportunity for work and cohabitation in a little house in the hills of Kyoto. Their little kitchen, the epicenter of their shared life, overlooks a community garden dominated by a fruitful persimmon tree. Their relationship burns bright, but seasons change, the persimmon tree out back loses its fruit, and things grow strange between the two women.
How Kyoto Breaks Your Heart is a memoir that touches on the many possible ways a place you love can break your heart.
I loved this! The book’s dedication warmed my heart - For everyone who has ever lost a friend. This wasn’t an easy read, not because, like the author, I’ve lost a few friends, so it stung. Some friendships fade, and you don’t even realize it until the connections are dead, and all you have are the memories.
“..when you try to belong somewhere, your chosen home becomes a reminder of what you stand to lose.”
I loved experiencing Kyoto through Leow’s lens. Save some Japanese anecdotes the author mentioned, most things she wrote about hit home. You may find this relatable, depending on whether or not you’ve had a relationship turn sour. I enjoyed this book more than I can write about. I appreciate the author’s vulnerability with this one. I hope you liked it as much as I did if you've read it.
July 14, 2024
“I discovered seven years in that she detests eggs, avocados and lemons. Had I known her at all? Perhaps I hadn’t, not long afterwards the knots between us unravelled into a years-long silence.”
How Kyoto Breaks Your Heart was a book I imagined to be about two lovers growing to hate each other in the city of Kyoto. Instead it focuses on a friendship between two women whose friendship slowly withers away.
I didn’t expect to be hit so hard by this book. I don’t know how common it is, but I have felt this feeling all too well. Thinking you had a friend who would stay beside you for the rest of your life, only years later to wonder if you ever really knew them at all.
All told within the beautiful city of Kyoto with some incredible writing - it’s definitely a must read if you want something thought provoking and devastating.
[4.5/5]
How Kyoto Breaks Your Heart was a book I imagined to be about two lovers growing to hate each other in the city of Kyoto. Instead it focuses on a friendship between two women whose friendship slowly withers away.
I didn’t expect to be hit so hard by this book. I don’t know how common it is, but I have felt this feeling all too well. Thinking you had a friend who would stay beside you for the rest of your life, only years later to wonder if you ever really knew them at all.
All told within the beautiful city of Kyoto with some incredible writing - it’s definitely a must read if you want something thought provoking and devastating.
[4.5/5]
March 15, 2024
For me, reading a book means immersing myself in the main character's story, feeling what they feel, then sharing those feelings as if their story were my own life. Therefore, the feeling of empathy that arises after reading a book is an important indicator of whether the book is good or not.
Unfortunately, this book did not succeed in awakening feelings of empathy in me. The confusion, sadness, emptiness that the main character felt did not rub off on me. I actually felt confused about the main character's feelings. Maybe because her and my personalities were opposite, I didn't manage to understand the heartbreak in her heart. However, this book still deserves two stars because of the various meaningful quotes in it.
Unfortunately, this book did not succeed in awakening feelings of empathy in me. The confusion, sadness, emptiness that the main character felt did not rub off on me. I actually felt confused about the main character's feelings. Maybe because her and my personalities were opposite, I didn't manage to understand the heartbreak in her heart. However, this book still deserves two stars because of the various meaningful quotes in it.
March 7, 2023
“my fork in the road, my turning point, my leap of faith.” AHH a stunning book that resonated so so deeply in every single aspect!!!! shared way too many quotes like “omg isn’t this crazy bcos I literally said this the other day??!!” 🥹 just perfect perfect perfect 🫶🏼
December 25, 2025
as someone who has never gotten over anything in their entire life, i felt very seen by the author who could not let go of old friendships with people she no longer spoke with, of her life as a foreigner in kyoto, of all the memories from a place that she no longer lives in and is not a local in anymore…
this book was also special cause i read the first half of it while i was in kyoto 🥰
some quotes that described my feelings of finding a home abroad and having to leave it (and with it my friends) quite perfectly:
“To love a place is to love its people, and to love a place is to let it break your heart.”
“The question I always got when people found out I used to live in Kyoto: Which do you like better, Tokyo or Kyoto? It's an obvious comparison. It was harder to answer than it should have been. I had, at best, an ambivalent relationship with Tokyo. It's too crowded. Rent is expensive. Stress runs like electricity through everything. If I liked Kyoto, presumably I'd still live there. But I don't. I love it, and I don't live there.”
“I thought of all the people I've lost and have yet to lose. I felt a quiet pop of love in my chest for everyone who was still here. I marvelled at the chance she once took on me, and I on her: my fork in the road, my turning point, my leap of faith.”
“This is the price of leaving: you will always be late to the news, you will always miss the most important and unexpected moments of the lives you left behind, and you will always come back to a place that went on changing without you.”
this book was also special cause i read the first half of it while i was in kyoto 🥰
some quotes that described my feelings of finding a home abroad and having to leave it (and with it my friends) quite perfectly:
“To love a place is to love its people, and to love a place is to let it break your heart.”
“The question I always got when people found out I used to live in Kyoto: Which do you like better, Tokyo or Kyoto? It's an obvious comparison. It was harder to answer than it should have been. I had, at best, an ambivalent relationship with Tokyo. It's too crowded. Rent is expensive. Stress runs like electricity through everything. If I liked Kyoto, presumably I'd still live there. But I don't. I love it, and I don't live there.”
“I thought of all the people I've lost and have yet to lose. I felt a quiet pop of love in my chest for everyone who was still here. I marvelled at the chance she once took on me, and I on her: my fork in the road, my turning point, my leap of faith.”
“This is the price of leaving: you will always be late to the news, you will always miss the most important and unexpected moments of the lives you left behind, and you will always come back to a place that went on changing without you.”
July 17, 2023
It’s a 3.5 stars kinda read for me.
This book is a collection of essays revolving around migration, friendship, love and losses. As the title suggests, this book is a little heavy, hence some might need some time to take in the book.
My favourite part of the book was on tea. There is even an excerpt of reasons for tea which I think it’s amazing. As I’m a tea lover, I enjoyed reading the way of tea.
While reading, the author’s description transports you to Kyoto and Tokyo and makes you want to visit these places soon.
Overall, if you love reading travel stories, Japanese culture and people, have the mental space for some heartbreak stories, this book is for you. ✨
Some of my favourite lines:
> ‘Anything you do, stick with it for at least two years. After that, if you’ve learned all you can, move on to something else.’
> ‘…… I didn't want to be left behind. I should have been everything. I couldn't be everything. I would never catch up. I ruined everything I touched. I wanted things to change, but only in a way I could control. I was terrified of leaving, of disrupting the narrative I had created around myself.’
> ‘We leave broken eggshells behind us all the time; the point is to make them count.’
This book is a collection of essays revolving around migration, friendship, love and losses. As the title suggests, this book is a little heavy, hence some might need some time to take in the book.
My favourite part of the book was on tea. There is even an excerpt of reasons for tea which I think it’s amazing. As I’m a tea lover, I enjoyed reading the way of tea.
While reading, the author’s description transports you to Kyoto and Tokyo and makes you want to visit these places soon.
Overall, if you love reading travel stories, Japanese culture and people, have the mental space for some heartbreak stories, this book is for you. ✨
Some of my favourite lines:
> ‘Anything you do, stick with it for at least two years. After that, if you’ve learned all you can, move on to something else.’
> ‘…… I didn't want to be left behind. I should have been everything. I couldn't be everything. I would never catch up. I ruined everything I touched. I wanted things to change, but only in a way I could control. I was terrified of leaving, of disrupting the narrative I had created around myself.’
> ‘We leave broken eggshells behind us all the time; the point is to make them count.’
July 9, 2023
Livro super gostosinho e mais do que a parte sobre o término de uma amizade e de como lidamos com esses fins, quando ela avança sobre a rotina ao mesmo tempo íntima e estrangeira na cidade foi o ponto alto do livro pra mim, em conjunto com as reflexões sobre se entender num nova língua em um local na qual ela se parecia como os locais sem sê-lo.
October 20, 2024
Okay, hear me out. I have lived and studied in Kyoto so it has a special place in my heart. I was hoping for a novel style book talking about Kyoto and giving me nostalgic feelings.
This is not what this book is. The focus is on the authors life, perspective and experiences. Which are highly personal and sometimes feel like she did not like being in Kyoto at all.
However! I did finish this book in a single sitting? So how bad can it be?
I did dislike the fact that she talked about bigger and more popular destinations as bad and overrated. And the uniqueness of finding undiscovered gems felt a bit cringey? Idk.
Not the book I hoped for. But also not too mad about it. It is her life in essays. (Which felt a lot like loose blogposts)
This is not what this book is. The focus is on the authors life, perspective and experiences. Which are highly personal and sometimes feel like she did not like being in Kyoto at all.
However! I did finish this book in a single sitting? So how bad can it be?
I did dislike the fact that she talked about bigger and more popular destinations as bad and overrated. And the uniqueness of finding undiscovered gems felt a bit cringey? Idk.
Not the book I hoped for. But also not too mad about it. It is her life in essays. (Which felt a lot like loose blogposts)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 11, 2023
This books is for everyone who has ever lost a friend. It's for all of us...
September 27, 2023
3.5 rounded up. Slightly disappointed because, although the sense of isolation and alienation the author feels is portrayed really well, I didn’t get much of a sense of place from the book. The author could have been describing life in any big city.
December 3, 2023
读完想看 言叶之庭 了
April 19, 2024
a friend wrote this :)
i now want to learn about all the types of rain, ask everyone i love how they like their eggs, & reminisce on my past friendships & on leaving places & people yet carrying all their memories with me.
i now want to learn about all the types of rain, ask everyone i love how they like their eggs, & reminisce on my past friendships & on leaving places & people yet carrying all their memories with me.
December 6, 2025
A lovely grouping of essays that really convey both personal friendship relationships and the relationship of a person with a city. Great food descriptions as well!
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