Courtship of the Saints: How the Saints Met their Spouses

by Patrick O'Hearn

The greatest lovers in the history of the world were the saints, those who sought to love God above everything. For those saints called to marriage, it was God’s love that led them to pursue their spouse in a most pure and holy courtship.
Courtship of the Saints reveals how twenty-five saintly couples, including Joachim and Anne, Joseph and Mary, Elizabeth of Hungary and Louis IV, Gianna and Pietro Molla, Louis and Zélie Martin, and others, met their spouses. From the most ordinary to the most extraordinary circumstances, one thing is Divine Providence was at work. In these pages, you will also discover what courtship is according to Archbishop Fulton Sheen and Father Chad Ripperger.

In a world of lust, confusion, disappointment, and broken marriages, these saintly couples will inspire you to begin waiting and praying for a virtuous spouse. Still more, they offer wisdom and practical advice for those already married. Better than any romance novel, these stories will captivate your heart and reveal how the saints loved with passion and joy, enduring all trials with peace—for a blessed marriage is the fruit of a holy courtship. 

Genres: Catholic, Religion, Faith, Audiobook, Spirituality, Nonfiction, Christian

280 pages, Hardcover

Published May 30, 2023

Reviews

[Kara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so sweet, beautifully written, and gives such consolation to those who feel called to marriage or are married! Learning about the lives of the saints is so edifying, and I think as Catholics, it’s easy to downplay the beauty of marriage in comparison to religious life. However, this book makes clear that both vocations can unite one intimately to God. God knows your spouse and has handpicked them for you since the foundation of the world - buckle up because the Lord always provides a hottie.

[Jennifer Hanson · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars
This was both very addicting and very relaxing.
If I had one complaint about the book, it would be that the author sometimes interjected his own voice a bit during some of the stories. I found this a little interrupting for the natural flow, as it felt as though the author was pushing on me what he wanted me to take from it, rather than letting me see these qualities for myself while reading them. I wished he would have trusted in his own writing capabilities of showing rather than telling (if that makes any sense - it is kind of hard for me to describe this in a Goodreads review haha). I also personally found some of the information/guides on courtship to be a little disappointing. But alas, my love for specificity has perhaps disqualified me for the author's target audience in that case.
All that aside, the majority of the book, which is exactly what the title tells you, is quite a relaxing read. The format is especially helpful if you only have 5 minutes to spare, as you can read it in bite sized pieces. I think my favorite thing about this book was how varied it was, and the author didn't just stick to the most popular married saints.

[Elizabeth Kerns · Rating 3 out of 5]

many complicated feelings about this book. for one, i can’t quite tell who the audience of this book is supposed to be—a question which could help clarify my reactions to certain framings of various relationships.
there were elements that were incredibly frustrating, if not deeply insensitive (can we not smooth over abusive relationships, please?) and/or painfully saccharine, but there were also sections which were legitimately excellent—ch 7 sticks out here.
overall, a mixed bag but not NOT worth a read if you’re interested in other approaches to dating/religious courtship/hagiography generally

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so refreshing and reassuring as I discern the vocation of marriage. Such sweet stories full of joy and sorrow.

[Kyrie :-) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book on the courtships of various saints, many whom I’ve never heard of! After reading these stories, it’s hard not to believe that God is a romantic! 💖

[Paul Swift · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought the first chapter on courtship was very good and challenging while not being wack. The rest of the book was very enjoyable though.

[Matt W · Rating 5 out of 5]

A genuine joy to read. All the stories of the Saints and beautifully told, presented in a way that's both accessible and reflective. There were stories that made me tear up, own up, and a couple of phrases that will stay with me for a long time. On top of that, the end of the book is filled with reflections, quotes, prayers - making it quite practical.

This one's a strong contender to be the non-fiction entry of my 'yearly favourites'.

[Mary · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am torn on this book. It had some good tidbits and the stories about the saints were enjoyable.

I work for the church and have done Marriages, and for the past 5 years I’ve been in charge of annulments. Meeting with hundreds of people. This books was off base and very unrealistic on a lot of things.

I know that many saints had to endure spouses who were abusive because divorce really was not an option at the time. But for the author to continually remark that you just have to suffer through it and pray harder was really disheartening.

I’ve seen the destruction that abuse can have on a marriage, let alone on an individual. I’ve worked with people who stuck it out in marriages for 20+ years because they felt God was calling them to suffer. Then to have their spouse file for divorce.

Marriage is hard and you have to fight for it and choose it everyday. But the ripple effect abuse and a one sided marriage can have on children, grandchildren, and friends is astounding.

Therefore, I was rolling my eyes at quite a few things the author said.

This book was a miss for me. 😞

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

so romantic, all very beautiful and inspiring stories

[Louise Mendoza · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finals has me on this audiobook grind and these were a collection of some of the sweetest love stories a girl could possibly hear! Encouraging but full of truth PG!

[Lilly Pirrung · Rating 5 out of 5]

“We are born to love, we live to love, and we will die to love still more.”

Very enjoyable and encouraging. I <3 love.

[Hélène C · Rating 3 out of 5]

I feel so bad putting only 3 stars! It's only because of certain clichés, stereotypes and remarks about women and cooking that I'm sensitive to, sorry.. The book sadly wasn't all purely historical facts - it comprises a lot of the author's own opinions and assumptions.

However, this book is still pointed in the same direction I'm heading for, and was a beautiful reminder that holy couples exist. It served as encouragement to remain faithful and trusting that something great is out there, and that we are worth more than we believe. I also realized I don't really know the saints. I think my favorite story was that of Emperor Charles of Austria and Zita of Bourbon-Parma.

Fave saved quotes :

"Truth be told, God owes us nothing. Isn't God's grace and love enough? Is not seeing God face to face in heaven greater than any experience on Earth, including falling in love with another person?" Page 18

"J. R. R. Tolkien said to his son about love at first sight, 'Often love at first sight, we catch a vision, I suppose, of marriage as it should have been in an unfallen world. In this fallen world, we have as our only guides, prudence, wisdom (rare in youth, too late in age), a clean heart, and fidelity of will.'" Page 21

"Courtship looks to the future--to eternity." Page 25

"Marriage is the school of suffering." Page 32

Saint Thomas Aquinas : "Grace builds upon nature." Page 33

"God does not promise married couples a long ,happy life together; rather, He promises the cross in Earth and then heaven for those who remain faithful." Page 37

Read the story of Tobias and Sarah in the lesser-known book of Tobit.

"God desires to give you every grace necessary to reach heaven. Finding a helpmate is one of the greatest graces." Page 42

Saint Raphael (Book of Tobit 6:17 RSV) "Do not be afraid, for she was destined for you from eternity.: Page 43

"Nor do I judge according to the look of man: for man seeth those things that appear, but the Lord beholdeth the heart." 1 Kings 16:7

"The cross is both the quickest and the most difficult path to intimacy with Christ." Page 67

"Francis revealed another important lesson: the married vocation calls for daily conversion as much as consecrated life." Page 83

Francis Borgia "God has left us from Paradise three things: the stars, the flowers and the eyes of a child." Page 86

"Like any vocation, marriage preparation does not begin when you find your spouse, rather it begins when you choose Christ and to follow him purely and faithfully." Page 93

"We know that to them that love God, all things work together unto good, to such as, according to his purpose, are called to be saints." Saint Paul, Romans 8:28

"God's blessings are often disguised in mysterious crosses, just as in mysterious courtships." Page 118

"Sometimes God interrupts a lifetime of earthly happiness in exchange for an eternal lifetime of happiness." Page 118

"Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: the woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." Proverbs 31:30

"Far from being some private matter between two people, marriage has a missionary value." Page 156

Venerable Fulton Sheen : "Everyone carries within his heart a blueprint of his ideal love." Page 188

"In both courtship and marriage, happiness and selfishness cannot coexist.: Page 199

"For those called to marriage, finding a virtuous spouse is the greatest treasure outside of the Holy Eucharist." Page 200

" 'We are born to love, we live to love, and we will die to love still more.' " Page 202

"Marriage will not cure your lust." Page 211

"Discipline and moderation : The habits you form now will spill over to marriage. If you spend hours on social media, this will likely continue into your marriage. Your spouse and children should never have to compete with technology." Page 213

"We must never forget the Reverend Mother's timeless words to Maria in the Sound of Music: 'My daughter, if you love this man, it doesn't mean you love God less." Page 214

"Gratitude: Blessed Solanus Casey used to say, 'Thank God ahead of time.' " Page 215

[Spencer Favaloro · Rating 5 out of 5]

So cute. So wholesome

[Chavonne Meyers · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so so amazing!! I hope that everyone in a relationship, dating or married can read this book! That being said, I was not a fan of “Part 2: Courtship Counsel and Prayers - How to Choose a Spouse”… I am not opposed to advice like this, there was a lot I found helpful, but there was also a bit that just rubbed me the wrong way. This is all too common with Catholic instructional books, they are not bad, but they paint with way too broad of a brush, and I don’t enjoy. The rest of the book is flawless.

[April · Rating 5 out of 5]

Publication Day Post!

Courtship of the Saints by Patrick O’Hearn is a beautiful look at courtship itself, and also through the stories of the saints. The courtship process has distinct stages as explained in the very beginning and I loved the inclusion of this information, especially for people who aren’t familiar with it. My husband and I began as very good friends and it has been so important in our own relationship and then marriage.

The various stories included are wonderful. I loved reading about some favorite, such as Pietro and Saint Gianna Molla and Saints Louis and Zelie Martin. I also loved reading about Servants of God Karol and Emilia Wojtyla (the parents of Pope Saint John Paul II) and Joseph and Maria Ratzinger (the parents of Pope Benedict XVI). These stories are just a few examples of the many wonderful stories skillfully told in this book.

This would be a great book for dating couples and also already married couples. After all, as we work to get our spouses and families to heaven, we can all use reminders now and then of the beauty and the gift of marriage.

I highly recommend this book. It has been a joy to read and one I know I will read again. Thank you to Tan Books for the copy of this beautiful book. All views are my honest opinion.

[Monika Culjak · Rating 4 out of 5]

“When young people ask me how to change the world, I tell them to love each other, get married, stay faithful to one another, have lots of children, and raise those children to be men and women of Christian character.” - this book certainly pumps you up for marriage, even in all of its crosses. Through the stories of some saints, you are reminded of its beauty, its purpose, and its reflection in the trinitarian relationship. People who think they have to settle have to read this book! I especially loved that last part on questions to ask when choosing a spouse - they are definitely good discernment questions. Just take some things on courtship with a grain of salt… it didn’t feel realistic for these days

[Christiana · Rating 4 out of 5]

*Audiobook* As a Lutheran, I enjoyed getting to know the stories behind some of the Roman Catholic saints and more insight into RC beliefs. I agreed with many things he said about courtship and dating so that was encouraging to me in my current season of life. Another thing I liked was that one couple adopted many children including one who had Down Syndrome - that's something I want to do one day! I just need a godly husband first!

"Sadly, most young people today have never written a love letter. It is a lost art. This stems from several factors including technological advances and the loss of chastity in our culture today. The thrill of pursuing a woman is largely unknown to man because man no longer finds the chase exhilarating, and the woman no longer seeks to be pursued."

[Michael Mastrodicasa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I believe this book was divinely placed into my life. It is overflowing with wisdom and inspiration, detailing out the path to a holy courtship with the diverse examples of the saints. I took 38 pages of detailed notes on this book (way too much). Let that be a testament of how much I enjoyed it. Though it was repetitive with certain themes at times, that's kind of the point of a book like this. I highly recommend this to everyone at any stage in the courtship process, for their are takeaways for all.

[Hannah Garstecki · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I loved and appreciated so many good stories of how saints met their spouses and the love that they shared together, I didn't like some of the advice that O'Hearn gives in this book. I don't believe that someone needs to follow all the guidelines of courtship to date well, but more importantly, no woman should ever be told get in shape so her husband can delight in her!! Take O'Hearn's advice with a grain of salt or just read the book for the stories he shares about the saints.

[Ariana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. I felt this book gives a lot of guidance in regards to discerning marriage, what questions to ask yourself, how God is involved in the process. I loved it so much that within two weeks I re read the book and highlighted important passages, so that my boyfriend can read the book and pay attention to them. Highly recommend this book to everyone.

[Regina Krus · Rating 4 out of 5]

It felt a bit slow but that could be my mood, and it's definitely aimed at Catholics who have not found their spouse yet, but the stories were really nice. I wish there were more stories and less of the author talking about each chapter.

[Roberta Garza · Rating 4 out of 5]

¡Me gustó! Existen millones de libros de santos que fueron monjas y sacerdotes, pero pocos de como matrimonios llegaron a la santidad. Hay muchas historias de santos en este libro que no conocía. Siento que el autor es un poco cuadrado en unos temas, pero en general me gustó.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good read for anyone who is single or dating. Great practical advice in the very beginning and awesome thought provoking questions to take into prayer at the end of the book. The middle is full of Saint stories, inspiring but repetitive. Good reminder/practicals for married couples at the very end too

[Sofia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a gift from God during this time of preparing for marriage. I recommend it for anyone who is single, engaged or married. These are the best love stories you’ll ever encounter. No romance novel could ever compare to the heroic virtue and love that these saints show one another

[Rachael · Rating 3 out of 5]

Learning about the saints is fun, but, as an engaged woman, I don’t love the authors take on “courting.” Also really didn’t like how the authors view that one should just suffer through an abusive marriage.

[Paul Jensen · Rating 4 out of 5]

While this was a book that rightfully challenged modern conceptions of courtship/dating, I mostly read it just as a hagiography of various laypeople. In that sense, this book delivered what I was seeking.

[Karen González · Rating 5 out of 5]

De lo mejor que he leído en la vida. Verdaderas Historias de Amor.

[Matt Perenich · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book that had a lot of inspiring stories. Advice felt a little forced and I found myself not captivated by the book.

[Marie Not Antoinette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very encouraging and probably the best book for singles I’ve read. I listened on audio and the narrator has a great voice, as well.

[Tabitha Gregory · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was the cutest! So many beautiful & inspiring love stories of couple striving for God