Alright, here we go. I'm taking some deep breaths before I go into this because I'm having anxiety and feeling guilty over a DNF, and an honest review. (Nothing to do with the author, I'm just an anxious human who hates saying things that may even seem negative.)
For starters, I was provided an ARC of this book. It was made abundantly clear that formatting, typos, and such were not entirely fixed and situated in the version of the book that I was provided. With that being said, before leaving this review, I have borrowed the book from Kindle Unlimited to look at the part of the book that I did read before DNF'ing to see if the formatting errors that were hard for me to read through were still there. Since I do have a copy of this book, I may try to pick it up and finish it in the future.
Now that I've put all my anxious disclaimers out there, let me begin.
I read 15% of this book. That was all I could read. I love YA books, both retellings and fantasy, amongst many other genres. That was part of why I was so excited to have the opportunity to read this.
One of the first things that was hard to read was the way the paragraphs were formatted. The book consists of very short paragraphs for every paragraph. A lot of these could have been combined into larger paragraphs for smoother reading. It was very chunky to look at, and to read it. It caused cuts in scenes and dialogue that didn't need cuts. This was in the ARC and the released version.
The second thing that was hard to read was how Peter refers to his parents. Peter is adopted which is one of the first things we learn about him. He first refers to his adoptive parents as Mr. & Mrs. Anderson. We then come up to a line where it says "Mr. Anderson shot Peter an encouraging smile from the rearview mirror, and Mom went back to scrolling on her phone." I made note during my reading that it was odd. Shortly after that we come up to a line that says "Alice, Mom, and Dad could be in their happy little bubble without his dumb comments, not intentionally making them angry." Here we have another change in the narration and reference to what he calls them. Very shortly after that but at two different times, Peter goes back to calling them both Mr. & Mrs. Anderson. This made Peters narration really hard for me to follow, which in a YA novel the narration should be easy to follow, and this is something that I feel should have been caught onto by editors and/or the author since it does come back to Peters narration and backstory with his family.
The third thing that was hard to read was how unlike their ages everyone acted. I see in other reviews that I'm not the only person who saw this either. A good reference for this is the following example: "Alice took in a harsh gasp and scrunched her face in anger. 'Why do the adults always act like kids but are mad at me when I get upset? At least I'm acting my age!'" To elaborate on what I mean, Alice does not act like a 13 year old to me. Peter does not act like an 18 year old. These parents certainly don't act like adults, considering they're lashing out at each other at an amusement park. I know this is a YA fantasy/fairy-tale retelling, but there still should be some semblance of reality in maturity levels. The descriptors of body language were also hard to understand because they just didn't seem right. Scrunching face in anger? To me a face scrunches in disgust, not anger. I feel like some other words could have been used for descriptors in some parts.
I pushed through after those initial red flags to me, and kept going in hopes things would improve and read smoother. The storyline picked up, and the world building got better, but the other things didn't. I also had some questions about how when they went through the mirror, their first thought wasn't "Where is my sister?!" I feel like with the level of concern they had and why they went after her, that would have been one of their first thoughts other than how they had ended up there themselves. There just seems to be some holes, some writing quirks to be smoothed out, and a little more attention to the ages of who is being written about.
This book has so much potential. The cover art is absolutely beautiful. I do want to try to finish it, and maybe there will be a redone edition at some point.