In Real Life

by Onision

Onision is a US Air Force veteran who became a video and music creator reaching hundreds of millions of people. Before massive advertising crack downs on YouTube, Onision collectively had over 2 billion video views on his channel and his music, specifically the banana song "I'm A Banana" was reaching massive achievements on the web and on TV.So who is Onision? What was his life like before all this? There are a lot of bogus theories and made up concepts about Onision. But was is the truth? What is really... Onision's real life? Time to hear it from the source. This is Onision, age 0 to 20. A man, not a myth or a legend or other exciting fantasy. Just a man.You can handle the truth, you just have to take an honest look in the mirror first.

284 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 11, 2023

About the author

Gregory Jackson (Born November 11, 1985) known on YouTube as Onision is a YouTube personality that has made 3,000+ videos ranging from music videos to comedy sketches. Onision is known primarily for his comedy sketches in which he plays all of the characters himself, though in most videos his friends will make appearances.

Reviews

[laine · Rating 1 out of 5]

Remember-Greg is better than everyone else, everyone is stupid, pedophilia is fine, and people with trauma are just weak.

That’s it, that’s the book. I saved you a step.

[Nikita Hines · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read this knowing it was going to be awful and still left me disgusted. I feel like this is supposed to be written as a joke or parody but its not, even if it’s a response to Chris Hansen’s documentary thingy about him. This was just extremely painful and I’ve read 4chan greentexts that are more bearable than this.

[Courtney · Rating 1 out of 5]

I will preface by saying I don’t hate Onision, but I am most certainly going to come across as incredibly sarcastic and petty as a coping tool so I don’t scream in frustration.

I also had a really good laugh that he made it impossible to review his book anywhere it’s sold. Can’t stop people on Goodreads though, and I’m not sorry about that fact. If you put something out into the world for people to purchase in order to consume it you should expect that people will want to talk about it.

I think this ‘book’ is meant to be a memoir, but that’s difficult to come to terms with since most of it seems to be a fabricated reality mixed in with his fantasies about how others see him. I think StrangeAeons put it best when she said his written interactions with other people stretch out into the uncanny valley, because no human talks that way. It’s alien and uncomfortable to say the least.

So, I ripped this long-winded, unedited journal entry for free, because it’s Onion-Man. The nearly middle-aged man who is currently facing two lawsuits for very not-okay things with barely legal ‘adults’. I say ‘adults’ because science shows that your brain isn’t fully developed until the age of 25. I can throw out facts without evidence too, dude. However, my facts are actually based in objective, not subjective, reality.

I digress.

This is a wild ride penned by the least self-aware human that ever walked this earth. He comes so close so many times to having a serious moment of reflection and then ruins it with some comment you would expect to hear from an angsty teen. That’s another thing that surprised me. This is an, almost, 40 year-old man who never evolved past being a horny teenager. It’s very jarring to consider. I had to remind myself, almost constantly, that this is a man who is older than me, but never seemed to mature past the age of 15.

Also, he is strangely obsessed with school shooters. He mentions it, often, and in the most unpalatable ways. I felt discomfort and concern.

He chronicles his life using ‘females’ - his word choice - as the landmarks. Which, in case you weren’t aware, according to Onion-Man if you ever looked at him you likely wanted to fuck him. His words.

When he is describing these interludes with the fairer sex he does so with all the grace of a train wreck. Saying how he doesn’t understand why anyone would need anything other than their romantic partner to make them happy. Why should they need friends, family or a support system in general? Oh wait, so he can’t isolate and emotionally abuse them so easily. He sees people as objects to possess and keep on a shelf all to himself.

Also, don’t tell Onion your secrets because apparently they become his secrets when you ‘give’ him those tidbits, and that makes it justified for him to share it publicly, on the internet, with millions of people, out of spite.

Anyway, I’ve burned away enough brain cells reading and then reliving it by writing this.

Don’t give this man your money, but also don’t read this book. However, if you absolutely must, you can find the PDF for free on numerous websites.

Also, if you have a breeding kink, definitely don’t read this novel. It will make you shriek louder than a whistling tea kettle.

In closing, I would give this ‘book’ zero stars if it were possible.

[Amanda · Rating 1 out of 5]

listened to a YouTuber read and review this.
The dude should just not write books.

[Nes gay]

ewwwwww lmao

[Nantz · Rating 1 out of 5]

nobody cares

[Cat · Rating 1 out of 5]

Well it certainly was something

[ivan · Rating 1 out of 5]

dont read this. literally read anything else. dont do this. it’s easily one of the worst pieces of literature i have ever read. onision makes me so uncomfortable. he needs to be in JAIL.

[Atticus · Rating 1 out of 5]

I just remembered that i read a free pdf of this that i got off of reddit earlier in the year and i forgot it counts as a book. Sometimes, when i need an ego boost for my ability as a writer, i go back and listen to in-depth analyses of this book. I wish I could rate this book 0 stars but I can’t.

I cannot give my thoughts on this book because my brain lost all oxygen and therefore all of my thoughts due to how much I had to breathe with every unnecessarily implemented comma.

“Superior writer” my ASS.

At least mr onion didn’t profit off of me. Love you reddit, you’re so babygirl.

[Faith Glover · Rating 1 out of 5]

If I see any five star ratings on this book, I know it’s you Onion Boy.

[Forest Cryptid]

Not even a quarter in and I want to light it on fire, but I can't because I tactfully acquired this dumpster fire. What stood out to me is that he went on for 7 paragraphs about circumcision and looking at peepees. Mind you his audience is pre-teen girls. Another thing was the predator accusations about his father that he always talks about. Also in the first few pages he talks about Shiloh and Sarah while making it sound like he wasn't. Like he tried really hard but Greg is a bad writer. Most of my notes on this book consist of [citation needed] as he will often write about ridiculous and mostly untrue statements.

[lauren :) · Rating 1 out of 5]

greg online stalking his middle school ex-girlfriends: a novel

[K K · Rating 1 out of 5]

I thought with all the drama surrounding this figure the book would at least be interesting; but it’s very,very ,very boring.

[Jasper Wisecarver · Rating 1 out of 5]

it's a terrible book, what can I say?
The segment that was so obviously criticizing people for disliking his writing because of all the predation allegations against him actually just made me hate the book more.
There's not much to say here, other than don't waste your time and read something else.

[Lulu Joanis · Rating 1 out of 5]

oh my God no one cares about your elementary school crushes, just go to therapy jfc

[Flor · Rating 1 out of 5]

He thinks he's important enough that he wrote this autobiography. The entire thing is bad.

[Gene]

Google this guy, he is a legit pedophile that THE C#hris Hansen did a documentary on, literally a pedophile.

[Cheyenne · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’d rather eat 100 raw onions in one sitting than ever spend 10 minutes in a room with this creep. I wish they allowed 0 star reviews. One is too generous for this steaming pile of garbage.