My Real-Life Rom-Com: How to Build Confidence and Write Your Own Relationship Rules

by Carrie Berk

A guide through the ups and downs of teen love, intimacy, and coming of age in a social media–infused world.

Navigating dating as a teen is tough. My Real-Life Rom-Com tells it like it is. Written by twenty-year-old TikTok star and journalist Carrie Berk, this book is a resource you can turn to for any and all questions and concerns about coming-of-age love and heartbreak. Carrie shares her dating adventures (and misadventures) to help you discover more about yourself and the relationship you deserve.

How do you meet someone in a post-pandemic world? Are dating apps a good idea? When do you know if you’re really ready for sex? My Real-Life Rom-Com is filled with helpful information on everything from first kisses to devastating breakups. What if you develop a crush on your best friend’s ex? Or you’re catching feelings for an older guy? Carrie has been there, done that.

This book is packed with humor and advice that takes the edge off uncomfortable conversations. Prepare to laugh at dozens of dating disasters experienced during middle and high school. Like the date who had a fly stuck in his tooth. Or the guy who had his mommy send a breakup text.

Through Carrie’s unflinchingly honest stories, you’ll learn how to get over your first breakup; understand the art of the “situationship;” make smart, not impulsive decisions; and ultimately love yourself before loving someone else.

Ready to build your own real-life rom-com? Start here!

Be sure to follow Carrie on Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest, YouTube, and @carrieberkk

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction

256 pages, Paperback

Published September 19, 2023

About the author

Twenty-year-old Carrie Berk already has a life’s worth of accomplishments under her belt. It’s no wonder Bella Magazine declared her “an ambitious and dedicated boss babe,” and The Wall Street Journal dubbed her “a community-minded young creator.”

She is a verified content creator across several social media channels including TikTok (3.9M followers; 119M likes), Instagram (950K followers), Snapchat (133K followers), YouTube (101K followers) and Pinterest (227K followers; 10M monthly views), with a combined monthly engagement of more than 100M. Carrie has collaborated with top fashion, beauty, and lifestyle brands including Netflix, HBO Max, Walt Disney World, Pixar, Instagram, Revolve, Wet n Wild, MAC Cosmetics, Roller Rabbit, VS PINK, Alice + Olivia, Chips Ahoy!, Dunkin’ and more. She has been profiled in The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Bloomberg, New York Daily News and others.

Carrie is currently a reporter/contributing writer for the New York Post, Page Six, HuffPost, Newsweek, Decider and more, on topics ranging from beauty and style to celebrity and sports. She has served as an on-camera correspondent for TigerBeat and Girls’ Life, interviewing red carpet arrivals at the Radio Disney Music Awards, New York Fashion Week and the Teen Choice Awards. She has contributed to Seventeen Magazine and Girls’ Life’s print and digital channels.

She has acted on two Brat TV series, Stage Fright (as Karina) and Crown Lake (as the voice of Heather), and appeared on the Paramount+ series Next Influencer.

She is a bestselling children’s book author with twenty-one books to her credit. She co-penned her first book, Peace, Love and Cupcakes, in 2012. The Cupcake Club series went on to publish twelve books (selling 300,000+ copies worldwide), and became an award-winning Off-Broadway show and featured selection in the 2017 New York Musical Festival. Carrie co-wrote the script for and starred in the show, earning her critical praise and an award for Outstanding Individual Performance.

Carrie’s second book, Fashion Academy, stems from her passion for fashion. The six-book series also became an Off-Broadway production at Vital Theatre and is currently licensed worldwide by Concord Music Publishing. Her most recent series, Ask Emma, springs not just from her boundless imagination, but from her personal experience as a teen lifestyle website creator and someone who has experienced cyberbullying firsthand.

Her solo debut book, “My Real-Life Rom-Com,” is released on September 19, 2023. An avid runner, she ran the New York City Marathon in November 2022.

She continues to be a dedicated anti-bullying activist and an advocate for mental health awareness.

Reviews

[🧸🎀Tiff (honeydukesbooks) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay my only issue with this book was this — I grew up middle class, and to me, this book kinda came off extremely pretentious. BUT, it also had very cute, laugh out loud, sound advice moments too! I feel like once you get past the privilege (which isn’t a bad thing!) it becomes a lot more relatable. Carrie is witty and charismatic, and I can totally see myself being friends with her. I mean obv not because she’s super rich and famous, but you get what I mean. I liked it!

[Karen (kmo.reads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to the author for the #gifted copy. This was a quick fun read about finding love. Carrie offers some sound advice through her experiences!

[Maddie · Rating 1 out of 5]

⭐️ 1 out of 5 stars

Let’s be clear: if you’re looking for a book that promises to turn your life into a rom-com and make you feel like the star of your own movie, then congratulations! This is the exact book that will make you want to throw your popcorn at the screen—and I don’t even like popcorn.

First off, “confidence” and “relationship rules” are two things that should be based on self-awareness and respect, not the watered-down, rom-com fantasy world where everyone’s life is like a sparkling Instagram post and every awkward moment is somehow adorable. The book reads like it was written by someone who’s never experienced a real relationship—or at least one that wasn’t written by a rom-com scriptwriter in 2003. Seriously, if I had a nickel for every cliché about "finding your true self" and "romantic fate," I’d have enough to buy a better book.

The writing is painfully generic, like a self-help book written by ChatGPT—if ChatGPT had a caffeine overload and tried to write a Hallmark movie. The "advice" is as surface-level as a puddle, offering no real substance. There’s the obligatory “be your own hero” mantra that you’ve heard a hundred times before, but with less charm and more forced pep talks.

And let’s talk about the “relationship rules.” If your idea of “rules” is writing down things like “don’t settle” and “you deserve the best” in your journal and calling it a day, then sure, this book has some groundbreaking insights. But for anyone looking for actual, practical advice on navigating complex human emotions, communication, or just… being a decent partner, this book is about as helpful as asking your mom for dating advice (no offense to moms).

Ultimately, this book is a cloying, over-sweetened version of the kind of advice that’s already readily available in a hundred other places. If you’re after something real, don’t waste your time here. Go rewatch Notting Hill—at least that has charm, wit, and a plot you can believe in.

Save your money. Or better yet, buy yourself a rom-com DVD from the dollar bin at Walmart. It’ll be more fun and less of a letdown than this book.

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Written by twenty-year-old TikTok sensation and journalist Carrie Berk, My Real-Life Rom Com is an insightful and relatable guide to teen love, intimacy, and the challenges of growing up in today's social media-centric world. In her book, the author candidly shares her own dating escapades, from decoding the intricacies of post-pandemic dating to evaluating the pros and cons of dating apps. The book covers everything from the excitement of first kisses to the heartache of devastating breakups. Infused with humor, readers glean insights on overcoming breakups, navigating "situation-ships," making informed decisions and embracing self-love before diving into a relationship.

Not only is My Real-Life Rom Com about the author's relationships, but I also found the stories about her anxiety and OCD to be incredibly fascinating. And how you've come to terms with all of that. She says, "You may be wondering why I'm choosing to end this book by talking about myself, not boys. It may sound corny, but loving others is not possible unless you love yourself. All those months in quarantine, I prayed that the sixteen-year-old hopeless romantic was still inside me, but that sixteen-year-old is in the past. That sixteen-year-old depended on a boy to make her feel special when, in reality, the ability was inside her all along. Self-love is essential." These are excellent life lessons at any age. My Real-Life Rom-Com is the perfect blend of entertainment and guidance, making it a must-read for anyone on the quest for their own real-life romantic comedy.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at: https://shows.acast.com/moms-dont-hav...

[Alex Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

🩵🥰 So obsessed with this one! I received this ARC & I am feeling so blessed that I did, especially after reading through it.
🩵🥰 Carrie divulges literally all of the things I wish I knew as a teen while navigating love & how social media really influences a lot of that, especially in this day and age.
🩵🥰 She talks about how to navigate dating adventures as well as some mishaps she had along the way (which, who hasn’t had some kind of dating mishap?!) & how to know when you’re ready to take the next step with someone.
🩵🥰 “To me, anxiety was just another word for stress.”
🩵🥰 “I never knew anxiety could manifest itself mentally as well.”
🩵🥰 As someone who struggles with anxiety as well as depression, I truly loved how she included her own struggles with anxiety as well! Some people think it’s taboo to talk about, but it’s really not.
🩵🥰 “As you begin your own journey to find love, I encourage you to first look within. A confident heart is far more attractive than the boy waiting for you. Believe me your leading man is out there. Prepare to write your own rom-com. This is your story. Never give up on love. Chase your happy ending—until the credits roll.”
🩵🥰 As someone who had her heart drastically broken in the worst way possible, those last words in the book hit the nail on the head! My leading man was out there & I’m so grateful for that.
🩵🥰 Thank you again Carrie! 🫶🏽🫶🏽

[Hillary · Rating 3 out of 5]

🩵 My Real-Life RomCom Review 🩵

Thanks so much to Carrie Berk for the opportunity to read and review this book!

My Real-Life RomCom is a nonfiction memoir from social media influencer Carrie Berk that discusses romance, intimacy and her past relationships in the world of social media.

This was a fun nonfiction read. Carrie presented her previous relationships in a way that was engaging and insightful, with each chapter being dedicated to a different “lesson” or piece of advice. While this book mainly addresses straight relationships between a male and female partner as it’s a reflection of the author’s personal relationships, I would have liked to have seen more gender neutrality or inclusion of LGTBQIA+ identities in this book, particularly in the areas where relationship advice is being given as the partners were always referred to as “he/him”.

Overall this was a three star read for me. A fun and engaging nonfiction read. As this is a nonfiction book, no rating will be given for spice

If you’re a fan of memoirs that discuss relationships, romance and the perils of social media, then absolutely pick this one up!

[Jenna]

Have to spotlight this nonfiction book because it’s full of little gems, humour and insight into navigating dating in a social media infused world. ⁣
⁣
Written by Influencer @carrieberkk (𝘢 𝘛𝘪𝘬𝘛𝘰𝘬 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺!) , she takes you into her experiences and dating disasters from middle school to high school. With cringe worthy moments (𝘮𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘶𝘱 😵‍💫) and finding out who she is and what she wants along the way, it’s the honest spotlight on how hard navigating your own love story is when you have social media inflicting pressure and expectations along the way. ⁣
⁣
𝘍𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦: 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘶𝘭𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘹𝘪𝘦𝘵𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘖𝘊𝘋. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦. ⁣
⁣
With the holidays coming up, this is a great book idea for University students, 20 somethings and maybe just the reminder to us all that loving yourself is the first step to being in a healthy relationship 🩷🩷⁣

[Debby · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m clearly not the target demographic for this 😂, but I heard the author on a podcast and was intrigued. That said, I basically had to force myself to finish it. Her privilege is so overwhelmingly obvious, yet she virtually never mentions it. Also, she’s presenting herself as somewhat of an authority, based upon her very unusual life as an influencer, and writing an advice book at 20? It feels packaged, like it’s just another part of her brand. The redeeming feature is her honesty about her mental health. I found the audio book super annoying; conversation paradoxically just doesn’t translate well to the audio format, with all of the identifiers—“I maintained,” “he countered,” “she dished,” for example—and I ended up reading the rest as text. All in all, just not my taste, but those in her age group may enjoy it.

[Megan | _The.Brunette.Bookworm_ · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was precious!

Oh, I absolutely enjoyed the comedy aspect of this s book. I could tell by the title that it was going to be enjoyable. It was very lighthearted, but Carrie did a wonderful job. And I feel it was written with heart and such thought. Her advice in every chapter was wonderful. As a 31-year-old, they were parked in the spot where I wanted to give Carrie a hug! But it was truly enjoyable, and an easy read. I truly wish I could’ve read this book when I was a teen. I would say this is more for ages 16 and over. But I absolutely adored it!

[niks bookshelf · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is such an incredible resource for, well, anybody really! im married and i read this and it was so good. its packed full of girl-to-girl advice through her first hand experiences and reading it was like talking to a bff about all the things💗

when the cover says ‘how to build confidence and write your own relationship rules’ - it MEANS it 🌸 it also touched on mental health, which i find so amazing

id recommend this to anyone single, seeking, dating, married! it was such a fun, quick read 💛

[Nikki Reads on the Go · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book I wish I would have had as a teenager and young adult.

Carrie’s writing is engaging and provides perfectly timed comedic relief. I’d love to read another book from her in a few years time as she continues to navigate dating. This book is incredibly encouraging for girls in the uncertainty of learning to love and let go. The real beauty of Carrie’s message is advocating for self-love and acceptance (without shame).

I highly recommend this book for your teenage/young adult daughters, nieces, and chosen family.

[Denise Polonia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I came across the mention of the book in a podcast and looked up the sample while simultaneously listening. I couldn’t put it down so I stopped the podcast and bought the kindle version. I finished it in a few hours and the entire time I hoped I could salvage all of my journal entries written in my Apple notes to relive my dating experiences as I did hers. Carrie is a gifted storyteller. This reads innocent and charming, and yet wise, as she reflects on her growth from each experience.

[Priscila Vera Schmidt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Your book brought back so many memories! I bet most of us have passed through lots of this situations. Now I can look back and laugh a lot of most of them but at the moment it was horrible. I like your way of writing and I hope to read more of your books... if I can suggest something, I would like to read about your good experiences with love.

[Caroline Todd · Rating 5 out of 5]

loved!

[Paige · Rating 3 out of 5]

fun quick little read about real life romances

[Steph Elias · Rating 2 out of 5]

Quick read, it really didn't work for me. I am sure her fans would enjoy it much more than I did.

[Romance_book_obsessed]

Listened on audio.

I don’t star rate autobiographical books. I don’t know what I was expecting but I didn’t enjoy this. The narration by the author was great though.

[Evangelyn · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was so boring.

[sarah_is_booked · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even though I am not the target demographic for this book, I enjoyed it! The beginning of the book can be hard to relate to if you didn’t grow up in an affluent household but once you get past that, it feels like you are having a girl chat with your bff. This book had a good balance of humor and advice, and I admired Carrie’s honesty. As Carrie describes her dating adventures, so many women could relate to her experiences as they navigate the world of dating. There were some really good messages and advice throughout the book, and I liked the reinforcement of making smart decisions when dating. I really enjoyed the way the book wrapped up, and the overall message. I would recommend this book for older teens and young adults. This would make a great gift!

Favorite quote: “self-love was the key to loving someone else.”


Thank you so much Carrie for the gifted copy and the opportunity to read your book!

[Jill (jills.bookshelf) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Written by 20-year-old TikTok star, actress, and bestselling children’s author Carrie Berk, “My Real-Life Rom-Com” is a guide for teens and young adults on how to build confidence and write your own relationship rules. Carrie shares her dating adventures (and misadventures) to help you discover more about yourself and the relationship you deserve. “My Real-Life Rom-Com” is filled with helpful information on everything from first kisses to devastating breakups. Through Carrie’s unflinchingly honest stories, this book is a resource for any questions and concerns about coming-of-age love and heartbreak.

“My Real-Life Rom-Com” is a fast-paced and fun guide to dating. This book is full of humor and advice that make uncomfortable conversations a little easier. In addition to Carrie’s dating stories, she also shares tips on dating lingo, when to “swipe left,” date night ideas, and so much more. Although I’m married now, I can relate to many of Carrie’s dating disasters as a teen. In today’s social media-infused world, we typically only see the “highlight reel,” where everyone shares their best moments. Carrie’s openness and honesty were refreshing and very much appreciated.

Thank you Carrie for sending me a copy of your book in exchange for an honest review. Congrats on your solo YA debut!

CW: mentions of sex, underage drinking, and recreational drug use