This was an 'alright' read. Not the best, but not the worst, either. Maybe my 'not-blown-away' feelings about the book have to do with how real-life the whole setting of the book is (and how much I could regrettably relate and was forced to relive, ughh, high school). The main character, Stella, is within two weeks of graduating high school, and she just sort of gets hit with this wave of apathy and 'done-ness' with the whole getting on with life thing. The book is full of wit, so the subject of someone planning on killing themselves isn't as depressing as it would seem, but it's no fluffy-bunny read, for sure.
Her "awakening" of sorts comes in drama class:
"But then today, when Mr. Nichols told me that my beach ball wasn't going high enough (and considering that it's invisible, how did he know?), I knew I was done. That's it. There comes a point when you're just too exhausted to pretend to have fun at a beach that doesn't exist." -- p.2
Stella's a straight-A student, on the Honor track, in AP classes her Senior year, and she's on her way to the principal due to her refusal to throw an invisible beach ball and she reflects on the 'bad' kids sitting around not in class:
"When you think of the bad kids, you think they're the ones who are bitter and hating school. But today I realized that they're actually happy. The narcs come by and threaten yellow slips and detention, but then the narcs just end up laughing with the kids and making up inside jokes. And then, like I said before, the principal watches out for them, and the teachers want to make a difference in their lives, so the bad kids are probably the most beloved people in the entire school. If Princeton stopped caring about grades and extracurricular activities and started admitting some of these people from the quad, it just might end up with a more likable student body." -- p.5
Another apt description of this type of girl, Stella (which I could relate to totally, minus the Catholic schoolgirl gear):
"I wouldn't say I'm unpopular because if you asked other kids about me, they would say, "She's so smart" first and "She dresses like a Catholic schoolgirl" second. They'd know who I am. And even though I don't really have any friends as far as having someone to hang out with on the weekend, everybody at my school would tell you I have lots of friends because I have so many acquaintances. The thing with acquaintances is that one acquaintance probably assumes that the other acquaintances are your best friends, and the the latter group assumes that the original acquaintance is your soul mate, and that's how everybody stays at arm's length." -- p.10
The last quote, I swear -- probably the most revealing of the reasonable thought process Stella is going through:
"I'd just rather discuss how today I had some sort of abstract revelation that showed me how arbitrary the world is, and as soon as I realized that, what was I supposed to do? Pretend it wasn't arbitrary? It's like I have X-ray goggles on that show me that Princeton is just a Kmart with a nice facade on it and John Steiner is just a skeleton with some skin (and acne, sorry) slapped on top of it. All these pieces of the puzzle are clicking together in my head. They were all floating around in my brain before, but I could never make sense of them. Every time I felt these hints of discontent I would just study a little more or do some extra credit or apply to another Ivy League college. But today, the beach ball -- it's so clear how we make everything up." -- p.19
So anyway, that's just the first 20 pages! What follows is less intense, more plot and situational dealings, less deep thought stuff (which I wish there had been more of, but oh well). The author does a really good job of tapping into a teenager's brain, and writing a book entirely from a teenage girl's perspective, so kudos to her for that!