O Brother

by John Niven

John Niven’s little brother Gary was fearless, popular, stubborn, handsome, hilarious and sometimes terrifying. In 2010, after years of chaotic struggle against the world, he took his own life at the age of 42.

Hoping for the best while often witnessing the worst, John, his younger sister Linda and their mother, Jeanette, saw the darkest fears they had for Gary played out in drug deals, prison and bankruptcy. While his life spiralled downward and the love the Nivens’ shared was tested to its limit, John drifted into his own trouble in the music industry, a world where excess was often a marker of success.

Tracking the lives of two brothers in changing times – from illicit cans of lager in 70s sitting rooms to ecstasy in 90s raves – O Brother is a tender, affecting and often uproariously funny story. It is about the bonds of family and how we try to keep the finest of those we lose alive. It is about black sheep and what it takes to break the ties that bind. Fundamentally it is about how families survive suicide, ‘that last cry, from the saddest outpost.’

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Audiobook, Biography Memoir, Scotland, Autobiography

353 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 24, 2023

About the author

Born in Irvine, Ayrshire, Niven read English Literature at Glasgow University, graduating in 1991 with First Class honours. For the next ten years, he worked for a variety of record companies, including London Records and Independiente. He left the music industry to write full time in 2002 and published his debut novella Music from Big Pink in 2005 (Continuum Press). The novella was optioned for the screen by CC Films with a script has been written by English playwright Jez Butterworth. Niven's breakthrough novel Kill Your Friends is a satire of the music business, based on his brief career in A&R, during which he passed up the chance to sign Coldplay and Muse. The novel was published by William Heinemann in 2008 and achieved much acclaim, with Word magazine describing it as "possibly the best British Novel since Trainspotting". It has been translated into seven languages and was a bestseller in Britain and Germany. Niven has since published The Amateurs (2009), The Second Coming (2011), Cold Hands (2012) and Straight White Male (2013).

He also writes original screenplays with writing partner Nick Ball, the younger brother of British TV presenter Zoë Ball. His journalistic contributions to newspapers and magazines include a monthly column for Q magazine, entitled "London Kills Me". In 2009 Niven wrote a controversial article for The Independent newspaper where he attacked the media's largely complacent coverage of Michael Jackson's death.

Niven lives in Buckinghamshire with his fiancee and infant daughter. He has a teenage son from a previous marriage.

Reviews

[Saltusha]

How do you review something so deeply personal? I don’t think I can do that.
So instead I thank the author for the honesty and the courage it took to put yourself, your family and your story on the display for people to read and pick at.
Heartbreaking yet so beautiful.

[w a anderson]

I could never do justice to this book. It has been a life changing experience that has allowed me to make so much sense of so many things. I am grateful for its being. Simply perfect, life.

[Nigeyb]

I’m a big John Niven fan but was unsure about a memoir about his brother. Needless to say I should have known better.

O Brother, a moving account of Gary Niven’s suicide, skilfully blends humour and pathos. It's beautifully realised. John Niven sensitively and convincingly explores family bonds, loss, and the complexities of sibling relationships.

As we are a similar age so I gained an added level of appreciation via the shared cultural 70s and 80s reference points.

Superb.

5/5


John Niven’s little brother Gary was fearless, popular, stubborn, handsome, hilarious and sometimes terrifying. In 2010, after years of chaotic struggle against the world, he took his own life at the age of 42.

Hoping for the best while often witnessing the worst, John, his younger sister Linda and their mother, Jeanette, saw the darkest fears they had for Gary played out in drug deals, prison and bankruptcy. While his life spiralled downward and the love the Nivens’ shared was tested to its limit, John drifted into his own trouble in the music industry, a world where excess was often a marker of success.

Tracking the lives of two brothers in changing times – from illicit cans of lager in 70s sitting rooms to ecstasy in 90s raves – O Brother is a tender, affecting and often uproariously funny story. It is about the bonds of family and how we try to keep the finest of those we lose alive. It is about black sheep and what it takes to break the ties that bind. Fundamentally it is about how families survive suicide, ‘that last cry, from the saddest outpost.’

[Dancall]

John Niven's best book to date. A modern classic

[Zoye]

Ik ben hier aan begonnen in januari, waarna het per ongeluk op de stapel half-uitgelezen boeken terechtkwam. Toevallig kwam het boek eergisteren ter sprake, waarna ik het terug oppakte en basically in 1 trok uitlas. Dat zegt wel genoeg, denk ik.

Ik kocht het door de kaft (ja ik ben zo oppervlakkig) en de belofte dat het ging over het opgroeien met zijn broer Gary (aka Shades), die een einde maakte aan zijn leven in 2010. Ik wist niet wat te verwachten (buiten de giga goodreads-score), maar al mijn verwachtingen zijn overtroffen. Van het Schots accent dat hij zo sappig neerschrijft tot de hartverscheurend eerlijke vragen en bedenkingen die hij had na de dood van Shades. Ik heb hard gelachen maar nog harder gehuild.

((naast het verrijkende en inspirerend eerlijke persoonlijke verhaal krijg je nog een bonus van muziekgeschiedenis en een inzicht in het leven tijdens de jaren 70 en 80 in Schotland, oprecht geweldig om te lezen.))

[Ursula]

4 1/2 Sterne

[Rhiannon Atkins]

This visceral memoir got me right in the feels. As someone who has lost a close family member to suicide recently I connected so deeply with the questioning and the conversations never had but imagined. Beautiful book

[Keen Reader]

I heard Niven talk about this and other books on a podcast recently and to be honest (and in keeping within the west of Scotland, working-class vernacular) "he came across as a bit eh a fanny!" and I found him incredibly grating, but still I thought I'd give this a shot and I was delighted to have been proven so wrong.

From the opening pages I was struck by the beauty, intensity and sensitivity of his childhood and family recollections. It was all told with such heartfelt tenderness and accuracy that it really took his writing onto another level and came to life in a powerful and convincing way that really pulls you in and keeps you there for the duration of the book.

Now I’ve read one of his novels before and it was like it was written by a completely different person. But it’s funny how often when writers turn their hand to a different form of the written word and how it can transform them for better or for worse.

This put me in mind of Andrew O'Hagan, who is actually mentioned a couple of times in here too, as he seems to be friends of the author, having grew up in the same neck of the woods and taken a similar trajectory in moving to London to pursue a writing career etc. Also its not many people who can say that they failed to recognise and capitalise on the potential of both Muse and Coldplay as an A&R man.

[David]

I tend to only review the books I have loved and this is definitely one of them. It’s a beautifully-written memoir which covers growing up in the west of Scotland in the 1970’s and 1980’s in a way which I found jarringly reminiscent of my own childhood. There’s more, though.

Structure is, as Niven repeats, everything and this is a beautifully-written book which is about writing as much as anything else. Echoes and callbacks through the book show the care that he’s taken to tell the story and (unsurprising for anyone who has read his fiction), the author is unsparing as he examines his own behaviour and motivations.

Just a stunning book. Universal and local. About men and about families. About a generation who are all around us but we don’t really know. Read it and weep.

[Tracy]

This a frank, brave, devastating memoir. The author lost his brother to suicide in 2010. The brother, Gary, was 42 when he died and had led a troubled life. This book is full of “what ifs” and “whys” and the guilt felt when you just can’t help someone.
Amazingly, it is not all doom and gloom and as the author reminisces you will find yourself laughing out loud in places.
This book opened my eyes. I applaud John Niven for sharing such a personal, tragic story.

[Lauren]

Incredibly well written and honest

[Sarah Lee]

An excellent biography that considers a 1970’s childhood, siblings, substance use, mental health and suicide in a clear eyed raw gaze.

[bimbo]

tears. lots of violent tears.

[Louise]

I would suggest that a more accurate title for this excellent, well written memoir would be
O Brothers!


John Niven's life story, so inextricably linked with that of his brother Garry's tortured life journey comprises such an enormous part of the memoir that it is right and proper that both Brothers appear in the books's title. 


Why then does the title also need an exclamation mark, you ask? (John Niven speaks to the reader in this manner at many times in the story, an aspect that really appealed to me.) Whilst reading I could not believe how many questionable / foolish decisions both brothers  made. Their life choices when young I could understand but maturity should have meant wiser, less selfish ways; unfortunately the story tells us otherwise and the behaviour of both men, John in particular,  frustrated me no end.


That said, I did admire the honesty of the memoir, as seen in its portrayal of the British music scene in the 1970s and 80s (with particular emphasis on punk music). Such a disastrous, soul-destroying time for so many young people of the time, many of whom did not live to tell the tale.


Special mention must be made of John and Garry's long-suffering, stoic mother, Jeanette. Her love for her husband and children does not waver even when circumstances test her to the limit.


O Brother is a confronting yet often funny book about challenging family relationships, inadequate support for those affected by either or both physical or mental ill health and above all, grief. 


I am very pleased I chose O Brother from the extensive indyreads catalogue and recommend this sad memoir by John Nevin.

[Holly]

Took me a while to get into this because of the bleakness of the subject matter. But it’s very well written, very raw and honest, with some funny parts (definitely much more sad than funny though). I think this will stay with me for a while

[Eve]

Book club read!

Not my particular cup of tea, felt it left me with more questions than answers, but a great insight into the life of Scottish working class men and the debate between nature vs nurture.

[Niamh]

discussion happened via book club

[Paul Thomas]

everyone needs to consider reading this 🕉

[Richard Kelly]

Pitch black honesty.
Somehow this book is really enjoyable, despite cutting so deep on suicide and the impact of it. And the factors, clues and incidents that bring it on.

He holds nothing back in this memoir. Can’t imagine the pain he went through writing some of this, but he’s created something brilliant, warm and helpful.

[kirsten n]

gorgeous. beautiful. hilarious. sad. true.

best last chapter I have read in a long time

sibling relationship books 4ever

[Erin]

Having to not rate this until after book club is a killer


*AB-= after book club

Wee 3.5 for me I did enjoy this but the references to 70/80s was lost on me at times but I loved how raw and honest this was

[Ray]

I actually have the hardback but the cnuts at Goodreads don't allow normal people librarian privileges any more. Grrrr

[Alien]

Ich habe schon ein paar Roman von dem Autoren gelesen. Sie waren recht unterschiedlich, aber alle originell und auch mit mehr oder weniger grimmigem Humor versehen.

Dies ist aber ein Biografie von Nivens Bruder, der Selbstmord beging. Die Frage, die die Verbliebenen natürlich quält ist: Warum?
Und: hätte ich mehr tun können?

Den Leser interessiert natürlich nicht nur der Bruder, sondern auch der Autor. Er scheint aber nicht so "wild", wie ich erwartet hätte. Schon unkonventionell aber doch mit einem Selbsterhaltungstrieb, der ihn auch in seinen wilden Phasen (im Musikbusiness) vor dem Absturz bewahrte.
Der Bruder hingegen hatte den nicht. Er war wohl ein recht unangenehmer Mensch, der nie das tat, was er hätte tun sollen. Und dann kam auch noch etwas Pech dazu...

Ich fand das Buch ziemlich interessant, wenn ich auch die irrsinnig gute Bewertung nicht 100% nachvollziehen kann.

[Michael Hastie]

I absolutely loved this book.

As a reader of John’s previous books and a massive fan of his social media output I’ve known him to be a very sharp and funny guy but this memoir discussed another, terribly sad, element of his life - his relationship with his brother Gary who died from suicide.

The book had many funny stories about growing up in Irvine and his life in music industry but I think my takeaway from it will be how traumatic it can be trying to help a troubled relative. How, after everything he done to try to help his brother he couldn’t save him. I think anybody who loses somebody they love to suicide will know that feeling. “Maybe if I’d done this or that”. The phrase from book he used was “Maybe, maybe, maybe. The Chernobyl of the soul”. So true.

Tremendous

[Pen Stratton]

This is the author's experiences of losing his brother to suicide. From their childhood, through the different paths they took, he describes his own feelings and includes how the suicide impacted him, his sister and his Mum. It gets a bit circular in parts - probably 50 pages too long. It is thought-provoking and highlights how the suicide of someone close never leaves you, as well as how widely the impact can be felt - those who can no longer face life will never know how people they never met will care.

[Stephen]

What a book to start off the New Year with - one of my all time favourites.

So poignant and honest and brilliantly written. At time hilarious but ultimately heart breaking.
Especially special if like me, you grew up in the same era (born in the late 1960's) so that everything depicted seems so familiar.

[Karen Holland]

Such a good, yet heartbreaking read.

[Phelim Kyne]

Excellent. Best I've read this year

[Maria R]

I listened to the audiobook which must have been so difficult for the author to record. 💔

[Ross Gibson]

Amazing to hear stories from where I grew up. This was based round the time when my mum and uncle grew up near to where John stayed sometimes even being at the same events in the book.