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The Abandoned Wives Handbook: A Gentle Guide to One of Life's Great Traumas
The pain of abandonment is huge.
The partner you loved and cherished for so many years has decided you are no longer required. Past your sell by date. Of no use to them anymore, so tossed out like a piece of garbage. Abandoned with barely a backward glance.
In an attempt to keep this a gentle, light-hearted read, each chapter is divided into letters of the alphabet, rather like a dictionary of distress, something you can dip into at any time.
I am not an expert, merely someone who has survived one of life's great traumas and has come through it as a stronger, more resilient person.
Pat Backley.
The partner you loved and cherished for so many years has decided you are no longer required. Past your sell by date. Of no use to them anymore, so tossed out like a piece of garbage. Abandoned with barely a backward glance.
In an attempt to keep this a gentle, light-hearted read, each chapter is divided into letters of the alphabet, rather like a dictionary of distress, something you can dip into at any time.
I am not an expert, merely someone who has survived one of life's great traumas and has come through it as a stronger, more resilient person.
Pat Backley.
107 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 21, 2023
About the author
Pat Backley
16 books23 followersPat Backley is English, but decided to become a Kiwi when she was 59. She now lives in Auckland New Zealand.
She wrote and published her first book just before her 70th birthday and having discovered her passion, she now intends to write till she dies!
She wrote and published her first book just before her 70th birthday and having discovered her passion, she now intends to write till she dies!
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
February 11, 2025
A light guide in navigating feelings after a break up.
For those who are going through a divorce or separation….
For those whose loved ones are experiencing the heartbreak of being left and you want to understand how they’re feeling.
Light hearted in the way it is formatted - an alphabetical snapshot of different emotions, yet in-depth and understanding.
From someone who has not only experienced abandonment once, but twice, comes this wee gem of support and validation.
I was sent this book by the author and all opinions are my own.
For those who are going through a divorce or separation….
For those whose loved ones are experiencing the heartbreak of being left and you want to understand how they’re feeling.
Light hearted in the way it is formatted - an alphabetical snapshot of different emotions, yet in-depth and understanding.
From someone who has not only experienced abandonment once, but twice, comes this wee gem of support and validation.
I was sent this book by the author and all opinions are my own.
March 25, 2023
The Abandoned Wives Handbook: A Gentle Guide to One of Life's Great Traumas by Pat Backlet is a self-guidance book on how to proceed and move on when your long-life partner has randomly abandoned you.
This book offers counsel in the form of an alphabetical dictionary. In my personal opinion, although they are some aspects that seem comforting, the reading can be a bit tedious and uncomfortable. I felt it was more of a pessimistic story than trying to be a positive one. Again, I have never been in this situation so I cannot relate to the reading, but maybe someone that is the targeted audience ( aka abandoned wives) could find the book reassuring.
What I can say most positively about the book is that it was fluent to read with an uncomplicated vocabulary. I would only recommend it to certain readers, for example, those who are looking for reassurance in their life.
This book offers counsel in the form of an alphabetical dictionary. In my personal opinion, although they are some aspects that seem comforting, the reading can be a bit tedious and uncomfortable. I felt it was more of a pessimistic story than trying to be a positive one. Again, I have never been in this situation so I cannot relate to the reading, but maybe someone that is the targeted audience ( aka abandoned wives) could find the book reassuring.
What I can say most positively about the book is that it was fluent to read with an uncomplicated vocabulary. I would only recommend it to certain readers, for example, those who are looking for reassurance in their life.
March 16, 2023
"The Abandoned Wives Handbook" is a poignant and heartfelt book that offers comfort and guidance to those who have experienced the pain of abandonment. The author's personal experience and insights make this book a unique and valuable resource for anyone going through a similar experience. The use of the alphabet to structure the chapters is a creative and effective approach that makes it easy to navigate and digest. This book is a must-read for anyone struggling to cope with the aftermath of a relationship breakdown and seeking practical advice and emotional support. Overall, "The Abandoned Wives Handbook" is a powerful testament to the human spirit and the strength of resilience in the face of adversity.
March 17, 2023
Abandoned
While I myself am not abandoned, I am still married after 12 years, I have a friend this happened to. This book is a good one to read in order to prepare yourself for the worst, when something happens suddenly and the stable relationship you thought you had is gone. The book is alphabetical and goes over key words from each chapter. While there is some humor, the author treats the topic with the care it deserves and does not make a mockery of it. A great book and I am glad I got it.
While I myself am not abandoned, I am still married after 12 years, I have a friend this happened to. This book is a good one to read in order to prepare yourself for the worst, when something happens suddenly and the stable relationship you thought you had is gone. The book is alphabetical and goes over key words from each chapter. While there is some humor, the author treats the topic with the care it deserves and does not make a mockery of it. A great book and I am glad I got it.
April 5, 2023
I really like the concept of this book
I think this book has a ton of potential and upside.
Hats off to the author for wanting to help those who feel lost. I would encourage men to read this book. Even single men who date do not understand the impact they can have from their own behavior toward women.
I would encourage the author to take this book next level!
I think this book has a ton of potential and upside.
Hats off to the author for wanting to help those who feel lost. I would encourage men to read this book. Even single men who date do not understand the impact they can have from their own behavior toward women.
I would encourage the author to take this book next level!
April 6, 2023
Healing in alphabetical order
Pat Backley's "The Abandoned Wives Handbook" is a must-read for anyone going through a difficult separation or divorce. The author's clear explanations and empathy are felt throughout. Highly recommended for anyone in need of a gentle guide through life's great traumas.
Pat Backley's "The Abandoned Wives Handbook" is a must-read for anyone going through a difficult separation or divorce. The author's clear explanations and empathy are felt throughout. Highly recommended for anyone in need of a gentle guide through life's great traumas.
August 29, 2023
This little handbook is not only for abandoned wives, it is full of inspiration for all of us going through the ups and downs of life.
Though it does convey the heartbreak of being abandoned, it also conveys the very real need for a relationship to work both ways 💕
Well done to the author on an inspirational handbook.
Though it does convey the heartbreak of being abandoned, it also conveys the very real need for a relationship to work both ways 💕
Well done to the author on an inspirational handbook.
July 2, 2023
Overcomer
Very good read. Helps to understand everything one goes through when a relationship ends. Also there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Very good read. Helps to understand everything one goes through when a relationship ends. Also there is light at the end of the tunnel.
March 14, 2023
“The Abandoned Wives Handbook” by Pat Backley is a profound and well-written book that delves deep into healing the trauma that wives experience if they are abandoned by their spouse. This book is very valuable not just for traditional wives, but also for anyone who was in a serious relationship and who is suddenly dumped by their partner.
I particularly appreciate that the author does not disguise the anguish that such desertion causes. While this handbook is not meant to drag you down further, she makes no pretences about the pain. The writing style is light and the concepts, while profound, are easy to follow. Highly recommended!
I particularly appreciate that the author does not disguise the anguish that such desertion causes. While this handbook is not meant to drag you down further, she makes no pretences about the pain. The writing style is light and the concepts, while profound, are easy to follow. Highly recommended!
March 14, 2023
The Abandoned Wives Handbook by Pat Backley is the book every woman should read when going through a breakup. All along the pages, the author goes through each stage of the deep sadness she felt, due to her own terrible experience. I found it interesting as she wrote this book in alphabetical order, describing the emotions through the alphabet. While reading, I felt I could sense her devastation. I emphasized with her pain from the very beginning, due to the writing style of the author. The language chosen made me feel like reading a letter from a friend. I think it is healthy to face our feelings, so I highly recommend this book to all women.
January 26, 2025
Feel like I could have written this. Very accurate describing the feelings and trauma of being walked out on suddenly from a long marriage. The book was affirming as well, giving hope and encouragement in a very dark time. Friends of the traumatized woman may benefit from reading this as well because it’s hard to understand the trauma
June 25, 2025
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
A beautifully written and gently humorous guide through one of life’s toughest experiences. Pat Backley’s The Abandoned Wives Handbook reads like a warm cup of tea and a chat with a wise friend. With honesty, wit, and compassion, she turns heartbreak into hope one alphabet letter at a time. A must-read for anyone navigating emotional loss with grace and grit.
A beautifully written and gently humorous guide through one of life’s toughest experiences. Pat Backley’s The Abandoned Wives Handbook reads like a warm cup of tea and a chat with a wise friend. With honesty, wit, and compassion, she turns heartbreak into hope one alphabet letter at a time. A must-read for anyone navigating emotional loss with grace and grit.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews