Callie's Tally: An Accounting of Baby's First Year

by Betsy Howie

The author offers a humorous chronicle of the final months of her pregnancy and the first year of her daughter's life by keeping a record of the various expenses that result from having and raising a child.

Genres: Parenting, Memoir, Nonfiction, Chick Lit

319 pages, Hardcover

First published September 30, 2002

About the author

After graduating from high school, Betsy moved to New York City where she attended New York University and studied acting at the renowned Stella Adler Studio. She wrote the book for Cowgirls, a musical that she also performed in, which was staged across the country. In 1987, Betsy produced and performed in Caryl Churchill's Top Girls with fellow staff members from Phebe's bar on the Bowery, at the nearby New Theater.

Betsy was a prolific writer. During her life, she wrote numerous books, including a humorous memoir, Callie's Tally: An Accounting of Baby's First Year (Or, What My Daughter Owes Me), and the novel Snow. She also wrote many children's books under the pen name Howie Dewin.

Reviews

[eRin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hi-larious. Seriously, this is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Betsy Howie is closer than she'd like to be to forty and realizing that the baby issue (will I? won't I?) has be answered: she will. It's said that it costs approximately $190,000.00 to raise a child from birth to age 18 and Howie is going to find out if that's true or not. Literally. She begins Callie's Tally, a listing of every expense that can be attributed to her child...and bills her for it. Yup, Callie's not even born yet and she's already in debt. And it only gets worse from there. Howie provides detailed explanations for the charges and each is assigned a category (i.e. 1 Pampers Original - Sanitation). She debates some of the charges and provides reasoning for why she did or not bill Callie for the expense. It turns out that there are tons of billable items and Howie gets creative--weight watchers fees. The invoice from the lawyer for creating a will. The ultra-adorable clothes Howie buys for friends' children as gifts from Callie(all the while knowing that the outfit will make its way back to Callie eventually). But the book isn't just about Callie's tab; it's about the first year in the life of a new mother. It's about her exhaustion and fear. Joy and exhaustion. Guilt...and exhaustion. She talks candidly about her feelings, always with humor and wit.

I loved this book. It's funny and endearing and honest. One of my favorite lines: "I would not make a good single mom. I require unionized breaks." I fully intend to bill my future child in the same manner (and btw--that ultra adorable diaper bag that I lusted after ever since I saw it despite the fact that I am neither currently pregnant, nor planning to get knocked up any time soon and then found for 75% off? first debt). Even now I am seeing my bank statement and receipts in a new light: Food Lion--$7.09--Dr. Pepper: Sanity. The Gap--$47.98--Jeans: fat clothes for the all the weight I've gained recently. Best Buy--$31.47--Wii game: entertainment to keep mind off broken heart. Of course now that I look over these recent expenditures, I realize that I should actually be billing my ex-boyfriend since all can be attributed to him. Excuse me while I prepare his invoice...

[M.fennell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fabulous book, just fabulous.

Mother, non-mother, thinking about motherhood, not thinking about motherhood; this is a great book.

My copy was sadly lost to time and two moves, but my husband finally broke down and bought me a used copy online after forcing him to stop at every clearance book bin put on creation.

The first time I read it I was 22, single, and babies weren't even a blip on my radar. The blip still hasn't appeared after five years and a wedding, but I still feel like I can identify with Betsy.

This book is on my list of all-time favorites, possibly even in the top five, simply because she's so brutally honest about her pregnancy, the baby, and the impact an infant has had on her life.

Betsy charges the darling girl for all baby-incurred expenses (maternity clothing, bottles, diapers, Weight Watchers meetings, etc.) to both track the baby's life and to keep her grasp over who rules the roost.

A baby can demand a feeding at three a.m., but Mom can invoice for the rocking chair said screaming infant required to sleep...

[Danine · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read this while I was pregnant. It's about a woman who finds herself pregnant. She keeps a tally of how much it costs to keep a child for the first year. She keeps the tally so that Callie, her daughter, can pay her back later in life.

Some people on the amazon.com reviews get all serious about this and say it's not fair to Callie that her mom Betsy gets knocked up and Callie has to pay. Whatever. The point of the book is to see how much it costs to bring a child into the world.

Here is the unrealistic part. Betsy buys all the top of the line baby furniture and sticks it on the tally. Wbene she buys an expensive crib and all the other most expensive baby furniture I didn't feel sorry for her anymore. The tally just became an excuse to buy stuff.

This book got old really fast.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book on the $1 clearance rack at an independent bookstore. I picked it up because it looked humorous. Upon reading it, I found that it was quite humorous, and thought it was an interesting, thoughtful, unique expose about one woman's first year with her baby - from an accounting (and, in many ways, feminist) perspective.

[Firecracker1974 · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was HILARIOUS! All parents must read it, so that you can laugh for even a minute, and remember to not take life too seriously!

[Stefanie Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

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[Carmine · Rating 2 out of 5]

A few chuckles for moments of recognition, but ultimately I couldn't get past how she framed the book. I can appreciate the exercise of calculating the cost of a child, but was always bothered by the idea that her daughter "owed" her. In fairness, I didn't finish the book so perhaps Howie changes her perspective and I don't doubt that she loves her daughter very much, but ultimately, if you don't want to pay (in all the ways a mom does) why have a child? I hope one day Callie writes her response book in which she charges her mother for every smile and hug, every times she does the dishes or cleans the house.

[Jennifer · Rating 2 out of 5]

This woman makes me tired. I don't like her much, and I think that's because I'm afraid I'm a lot like her. I've made elaborate plans (in my head) about how to teach children the value of money. Now, I'm not planning on teaching it from birth, but maybe when they're old enough to understand the concept of having and not having. I found myself annoyed by her for most of the book, and (if I'm being honest here), I didn't finish it. If I did, I don't think I would ever have a baby, because seriously? They're so expensive!

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was exactly what you expect. It was by turns droll, funny, practical, and poignant. Many things I related to, some I didn't (being a first-time mom at 40, for example. Having a full-time helper). I considered giving it up to focus on more worthwhile books, but the format made it easy to read in snippets (i.e., nursing sessions) and before I realized it, I'd finished it. Anyway, nothing earth-shattering, but about as entertaining as the title promises.

[Susan D'Entremont · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very fun idea - tallying up how much a baby costs in the first year. Not just clothes and food and so forth, but opportunities lost. Howeve,after a while it seemed repetitive. It was the same thing over and over. It really was a TALLY. I thought there would be a bit more variety in the way it was presented. It might be worth reading if you are thinking of having a child, though, because she does include costs you might not think about until you become a parent.

[Quanti · Rating 3 out of 5]

The idea of counting baby's debt is kind of repulsive, but in every other way, this book is funny and an approach different from "I'm a mother now and my baby is just center of the whole world" is quite refreshing. Even maternal love can have many different looks.

Česky pod názvem Co mi dluží dcera, Jota, 2003

[Adi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wasn't able to finish it. The idea was kind of cute, but honestly it wasn't that interesting. It didn't give anything fresh to the whole "new mom" story, and the costs were predictable and dull. I said "okay" rather than "didn't like it" because for a while I was kept entertained.

[Maria (Ri) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started flipping through this book while Makaio was taking a nap yesterday. I couldn't put it down! I finished it up this morning! I thought it was a funny and lighthearted way to view the first year.

[Elise Jensen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not my usual type of book...but my friend had just had a baby named Callie. It was cute.

[Charity · Rating 3 out of 5]

Betsy Howie records the first year of her daughter Callie's life...complete with finances that she plans to bill her daughter for in the future. Very odd take on motherhood.

[Allison · Rating 3 out of 5]

How a baby's first year changes this woman's life. She's chosen the unusual method of documenting based on the money spent on her daughter. A fun and at times funny book.

[Jacki · Rating 3 out of 5]

http://www.lovelylittleshelf.com/2010...

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind of a long book and a little strange to tally up all your kids bills through there first year.

[Sheila]

I'm not sure when I read this book but I did read it. Funny.

[Jessie Weaver]

Interesting read, but I didn't think it was as funny as the author thought it was. Mildly humorous and scary for a mom-to-be.