Sea, Swallow Me

by Suki Jones

In this dark, harrowing, and gripping memoir which details a drug addiction that almost killed her, Suki Jones writes with a raw immediacy and refreshing candor about not only being dependent on drugs, but keeping that dependency a secret from her family and friends. 


Set against the backdrop of the Bay Area in the early '90s, Jones balances motherhood and modeling with deft precision, but behind the scenes she was falling apart and roaming the night with punk rockers, metalheads, and sometimes even strangers, just looking for her next fix.

A ferocious memoir about broken family history, sexual abuse, and debilitating addiction, Sea, Swallow Me vividly wanders through the decade with a fiery resolve which ultimately reveals how Jones survived when she shouldn't have. Sea, Swallow Me is a powerful and redemptive tale of resilience and redemption.

Genres: Memoir

197 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 1, 2023

Reviews

[Alex Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books on addiction and recovery that I've ever read. This is written with authenticity, heart and hope. Suki Jones absolutely nails it!!!!

[Gail · Rating 1 out of 5]

Burning question: How much is real and how much is imagination? Anyone who knew “Suki” in the 90’s knows that she was not a working model or addicted to heroin like she claims. She was a stay at home mom & wife and went by Suzi Nicholson. The timeline where she could have been involved in any sort of party scene was only from 1998 to 2000 (1-1-2000 is when she says she got sober) When her husband met her in their early 20’s she was not addicted to drugs while working at Tower Records, this is simply untrue, but this explains why she miraculously was not an addict once she got pregnant at the age of 23.

This person did not do any due diligence in fact checking herself or checking with main characters in her book for accuracy. Her interviews since writing this “memoir” contradict with the book (her boyfriend OD’d vs. died in a car wreck, how old she was when she gave birth to her daughter, timeline of events, ages of her kids during this time period, among other things).

It is also questionable that this book was written by someone who has ever been addicted to heroin. She glosses over actually describing what being strung out was like.

In a Dopey podcast interview she describes being addicted as “you know that feeling like when you take that drug and you feel that swell in your chest and your like mmmmmmm, like hmmmmm this is the feeling, like you when you feel that and you just want that all the time” that’s not being chemically dependent, that means you like how the drug makes you feel.

This book is an example of obnoxious gluttony of self promotion, which seems to be a trend in the “Quit Lit” genre. The narcissism is uncanny- this person wanted us to know how thin, beautiful & “heroin chic” she was while being a “who’s who" in the 90’s party scene.” Again, she was a homebody/homemaker for most of the 90’s.

Someone needs to fact check this person. Oh, I guess I just did.

[David Porter · Rating 5 out of 5]

With a soundrack of "this-one-saved-my-life-this-one-almost-destroyed-it" songs and a rotating passenger seat of the youthful, illicit substance and music-fueled characters Ms. Jones rode with during a rather hard-rocking decade (the '90s), Sea Swallow Me bristles with excitement, music and the recklessness and stamina of (misspent) youth. Generation X, in the bastardized words of Gertrude Stein, is a lost generation (and we wear it proudly): Ms. Jones explains how she got lost, how great it felt at first, how deep in the woods she found herself and how she put together a trail of breadcrumbs and made it home in one piece. It's quite a ride, and not without a lot of glamour and a lot of louche thrills - it's Ms. Jones's Bright Lights, Big City. With its first book, Embers Arts Press has demonstrated it's willing to publish work that's dark and dangerous; I can't wait to see where they take us next.

[Abby · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just adored this easy to digest memoir about life as an addict. Reading about her troubled childhood, risky teen years and then juggling motherhood and junkiehood in the '90s was at once a familiar-sounding story and yet still strangely unexpected. I found myself continually wondering what Suki's story was like from the point of view of other people in her life, because it's always fascinating to me how someone can put their mind and body through all that and still somehow manage to conduct a seemingly regular lifestyle with regular relationships. I do warn that the edition I read had many loose pages. Luckily they were all there but several times a page would just come out in my hand when I turned it. The only thing I would have changed about this book was having an editor clean it up a bit. The author is a lovely and engaging writer, but this did have a bit of a draft feel to it. Definitely didn't hurt my enjoyment of it at all though.

[Erica Nordby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sea Swallow Me gives us the space to stand at the intersection of chaos, filth, glamour and redemption. Suki Jones describes the ugliness and utter bewilderment of addiction with lyrical grit and wit! This book reads like a fast paced visceral 90s indie film, complete with a soundtrack that sets the tone and it delivers a heart wrenching tale of a woman who learns how to find refuge after decades of numbing trauma. I found this memoir relatable, inspired, and darkly entertaining.

[Ashley Palafox · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a really beautiful, heart-wrenching and moving memoir. Scenes from throughout the author’s life are rendered both tenderly and matter-of-factly, and you can’t help but root for her at each impasse, misstep, and inflection point. I read this book over the course of several days, and by the end couldn’t put it down.

[Moses Yohalem · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read it.

Suki Jones is a great word smith that can transport you to places you've never been and explain feelings you didn't have words for.

Its rare for a book to capture feelings and thoughts that were so fleeting in compressed moments living, to be drawn out and exposed. It lends a perspective to my own lived experiences, as well as a shared moment of recognition with the author.

[Shawna Kay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honest, hypnotic, and thrilling, in her debut memoir, Suki Jones has come to rescue us from a lonely desolate world. Sober but not sobering, unfettered, hilarious, and original, hers is an unforgettable story, a glittering and tragic party that you won't want to leave!

[Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful story of despair and redemption. I read the whole book in one sitting. Wonderful details and kept me interested from cover to cover. Can’t wait to see what she writes next!

[Nikki · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend. Easy and fun read with a super happy ending that balances the super sad middle. Then go look up the playlist on Spotify. If you're a GenXer, you'll get the warm and fuzzies.

[Falbs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very, very real. I wish she’d gone more in depth into parenthood, but certainly worth checking out even if you’re not from the Bay.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Suki Jones is fantastic at telling her harrowing tale in a compelling and inspiring way. She shows the multifaceted and nefarious ways of addiction and offers the inspiration of her own recovery.

[Lola · Rating 5 out of 5]

An exquisite memoir. With blurbs from Erin Khar (Strung Out) and Dave Manheim (Dopey) I was already sold Suki’s memoir would be on my list. As a recovering alcoholic/drug addict I have read many addiction memoirs. But this one is special. Beautiful prose weaved into a storyline that kept me engaged and rooting for this incredible woman from page one.
Highly recommend.