4.5 STARS
There is an ancient saying, which roughly translates to:
“Fortune will rain down on you if you don’t spit in a camel’s eye.”
Now, as a Westerner, it might sound silly, but think about it for a minute…How many billionaires do you know who is known for their camel-eye-spitting? Granted, I don’t know any of them, so there might be some kind of fetish club out there who cater for some, but the optimist in me would like to believe we live in a world where people refrain from spitting in a camel’s eye. I also prefer to not say anything about the camel-fuckers out there…sick bastards who can’t afford sheep…
Okay, I just grossed myself out a little...actually, a lot – just for the record, no sheep were harmed or impregnated during the writing of this review.
Moving on – there are a lot of ancient sayings that carry profound wisdom, but sometimes it gets lost in translation or just ignored as silly. I personally know a guy who found this out the hard way, when he ignored the Confucius saying:
“Man who walks backward through turnstile is going to Bangkok.”
I heard, just the other day, about an ancient scroll that was discovered recently and, while there are still some debate about some of the translations, one really spoke to me:
“Always wash your hands before you finger your…” wait, sorry, lost it there for a second, it says: “Always wash your hands before you take your finger food.”
While the writing is not totally clear on this, and Larry, just for the record, in these times ALL their food was finger food, asshole, so don’t even try me today, okay? Anyway, the arguments will continue, I’m sure, for decades to come. Why is it so unclear? Maybe it has been damaged by weather and erosion, maybe the writer didn’t have a decent handwriting and penmanship, hell, it could be as simple as the guy was a leftie…we will never know.
Fine, I’ll make my point, don’t be some damn impatient. What does any of this have to do with the story? Nothing, directly. However, if Grady Hendrix wrote this, you probably would have believed every damn word.
Something happens to me when I read one of his books. I have a very critical eye for mistakes, whenever I read something on Kindle I will actually stop and make a note about a missing comma, incorrect spelling or bad structure – in other words, I edit everything as I read it. When it comes to a Hendrix story, he has the magic to take me deep into the story, so much so that I will finish one of his books and not be able to tell you if there were any mistakes in it. I am not saying he is perfect, but I am saying that he is one of the very few authors whose words override this instinct.
So, instead of rehashing the blurb, or telling you anything that the hundreds of other reviewers already told – probably better than I can – I will say only this:
It was tons and tons of fun, you find yourself hiding your phone somewhere close to your computer screen at work because you don’t want to stop reading.
This story is clever and very, very well written. The only reason it loses half a star is because the final showdown felt just a little too Hollywood for me, but I was entertained and surprised in the best possible way. Horror fans, it is a no-brainer, just read this story.
My thanks to Grady Hendrix for this ARC – my opinions are my own.