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315 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 15, 2023
“I like that it’s all on me,” he says. “Every point, every return, every match. Win or lose, it’s all on my shoulders. And there’s always another point to win.”
“Sounds intense.” “Like going solo without a backing band?”
“Maybe we’re both brave.”
Spencer holds my eye. “You’ve been out of the closet since the beginning of your career. Just the thought of walking back through that crowd on the sidewalk with everyone knowing I’m gay makes me nauseous.”
I’m surprised by the shift in conversation, but glad he’s opening up to me more about this. “It’s not bravery,” I tell him. “I just am who I am.”
“And you’re not afraid to let the world know it. No matter who you are, that requires some backbone.” — Spencer (in response to the question what tennis) and Gabriel
Warnings: Homophobia
As the two main characters Gabriel Drako and Spencer Wilchins have a dynamic well suited to the 'ooops woke up married (who are you?)' trope. There is clearly something there. There is a foundation that they wanted to build something on, even if they were shitfaced. It isn't just physical chemistry. It's seemingly more grounded than that. They are friends. They have similar personalities and focuses. Both have successful careers Gabriel as a rock guitarist (and singer/songwriter) and Spencer as a high-ranking tennis player. The book starts with Spencer waking up in a hotel room in Las Vegas looking at an only just waking up Gabriel. Neither of them remembers the night before, the only reason they know they are married at all is the marriage certificate on the dresser. When photos of their drunken marriage are made public, their PR teams have to come up with a solution to save both their career and reputations. The solution they arrive at is to fake marriage for a year and then divorce amicably. The plot is them trying to make a fake marriage work for a year, essentially fake dating. It's all easy until emotion and sex get involved. Then it becomes a question of what to do.
I liked Gabriel and Spencer individually. I found their actions to be well-suited to the histories/personalities they were given. 31-year-old Gabriel is gun-shy because of his heartbreaks. When we are eventually told about those previous relationships, Amos, Aurora and Zel, it creates a suitable amount of emotion. I appreciate the differences it the relationships themselves too. They vary and suit the points he would have been living at each point. Spencer is 30, he has abstained from sex for his image reluctant to engage in gay sex for fear of jeopardising his career. To be honest, a very real fear in sports circles. He has done very little in the way of fun his entire life, he has lived and breathed tennis under the tutelage of his hockey legend father Douglas Wilchins. The night in Vegas is done for his agent's bachelor's party and is not an idea of fun for him. Spencer is wholly dedicated to his career until his marriage to Gabriel. Giving Spencer control of the pace, direction and limits when they are in bed is a perfect choice for me. Spencer is largely inexperienced and has been restraining himself from indulging his wants for years. Spencer legitimately enjoys sex, it is fun and draws laughter from him with ease. It is a joy to see him discover himself and see what he's deprived himself of for years. There is a quote that I like from Gabriel about Spencer's passion “It’s just that you’re so damn hot, Spencer. Not just your tennis body. All of you. I thought you were uptight at first, and you are, but it’s because you’ve got a tiger in you. I don’t know how you keep passion like that buried away.”
The supporting cast is lovely and diverse. Douglas Wilchins, Spencer's father, is a homophobe. Most of the homophobia he expresses is by ghosting his son. Ignoring phone calls, letters and knocks on the door. There is open statements made in public but not to Spencer's face. As a homophobic parent, I liked his presentation. The biggest surprise was Alyssa, poly dominatrix, Alyssa. I love her she is Spencer's ex (though that was also fake), his best friend and his PR manager. She knows all his secrets and knows how to play her cards well. Her happy ending just gave me great joy. Everett is a great inclusion. It is more a 'we're in the same circle' than a 'we are friends' connection. He is largely included to show growth for Spencer. Fox is Gabriel's record manager and maybe friend, I found him to be insightful and charming. "Being near my husband always makes me feel better. But you two always find your own way to do things.” I have one personal hang-up with the name fox and that is tied to his name. I used to work with a Fox and this fox was strikingly close to him. I want to read his book, Owen is totally my kind of guy too. A long way from his rocker husband he works in a museum (*goals*).
Some quotes and comments:
• One of my first thoughts reading this, on the first page was R. Cayden has a gift for physical description. When they have Spencer describing Gabriel upon first waking up it is so blissfully visual.
• Best trope use in this, connecting suite doors and enough trust that neither of them wants to lock the door.
• My instinct is to chase him, flirt to get him to unwind. But I need to be guarding myself, too.
If I were young again, and if I thought I was falling in love with Spencer, this is exactly when I would lose my cool and pour my heart out.
If this were a fling, we’d be parting ways.
Instead, I try to settle in for something different, a platonic commitment. — This is a story about growth and learning. I like this as a view of exactly how skittish and out of his depth Gabriel is in this situation. It is also just a beautifully phrased section that captures Gabriel's thoughts well (this thought patterns don't always align with his speech).
• “The #NeverGabriels are rude. Should I have smacked him with the wedding dildo?”
Spencer scoffs. “It wasn’t big enough.” — I refuse to provide context for this. I include it only to ensure that I don't forget that this exists. (Gabriel and Spencer)
• I really like the nickname Gabriel starts using for Spencer quite early on, Hubby. It is factual but it comes across as sweet not patronising as it might have.
Gabriel’s presence has turned my life upside down, but it feels easier to navigate it all when he’s close.
• The motorbike date is one of the cutest things. Spencer finds the bike to be something of an aphrodisiac (even if neither of them act). The proximity it gives him to Gabriel, the effect the engine has on him. I mean I appreciate it. There is something amusing about Gabriel teasing him about looking hot together on a bike and yeah no lie.
• The design of the houses reflect them in the best way. Something Gabriel comments on about Spencer's. But the travelling home set-up equally suits Gabriel, with his inability to connect to the people around him and his environment.
• I'm wondering if we just met the main character of the next book, Evo Sunshine, though it could be a tone change, Evo is a 20-year-old pop star. I'm wondering if he ends up with Zel. That would be a big age gap. It would be a redemption arc for Zel. Zel will likely get a book either way.
• This isn’t just an impulsive desire to give my heart away. This is a desire that’s been growing for weeks, tempered by time, and it feels harder to bury it.
Maybe I should just let him break my heart.
The thought hits me out of nowhere, so strong it practically stuns me. — This is from a man who has had three big loves in his life and three devastating heartbreaks. Though what he feels for Spencer seemingly makes them pale in comparison. (Gabriel)
• And his voice cast spells. I don’t know how else to describe it. It’s like gravel and honey or the sweet purr of the motorcycle engine. It doesn’t make any fucking sense. I have no clue how he makes it sound so damn gorgeous when he’s practically screaming his lyrics, but somehow, he does. And I hear that voice in my head every day when we text. — There is a truth to this. I've listened to metal and the heavier sides of rock on and off for years there is true appeal in the way some male vocals. Enchanting in their own ways, especially if you look towards Northern Europe and languages you don't understand. It becomes about the voice as an instrument. (Spencer)
I haven't read this author before that mean I haven't read any of the other in the Love Unexpected series. In theory, this should work as a continuation of the series or a standalone for one it was nice to see the publisher was correct and this does work remarkably well as a standalone. For those continuing in the series, some of the main characters from the other books are mentioned if not seen. Fox is a frequent character (his partner Owen not so much, Filthy Sweet); Everett and Reggie appear frequently (Filthy Bromance); Nico and Shadow are only mentioned (as friends of Gabriel's, Filthy Rock Stars) and Enzo and Damian don't appear, Filthy and the Beast). The model/ cover design on the first edition by Black Jazz Design represents Spencer and I find it to be a good representation. The dim lighting and pose with the bright green text certainly caught my attention.
Coming up with a rating for Waking Up Filthy is hard it's losing a rating for seriously problematic sex scenes from my perspective. Raw sex is something I personally am always uncomfortable with. Bareback is just something I cannot support in this even if he claims oh I'm clean. The 3🌟 review doesn't mean that I wouldn't read another entry. This would have been a 4🌟 if not for the lack of safe sex. I did enjoy this. For an author I've never read and a plot I ended up being quite ho-hum on before starting to read this is remarkably enjoyable. R. Cayden has a way with description a tone. Creating two different yet consist feeling for their MCs. It is a simple enough plot executed well and I recommend it if this is your kind of thing. Particularly fake dating and sports romance.
“Homophobes and bigots like Douglas Wilchins are not worth our time. We stand up to them when we need to, of course. But whenever possible, they’re best left in the past where they belong. Irrelevant.” — Gabriel
Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from Gay Romance Reviews, and this is my honest review.
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