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When a Friendship Falls Apart: Finding God’s Path for Healing, Forgiveness, and (Maybe) Help Letting Go
We all long for “friends forever”―but what happens when forever ends?
They say friends are the family we choose. And that choosing―the joy of loving and being loved by someone who isn’t genetically obligated to share life with us―adds priceless worth to our days, but also great risk. Because hurt can happen even in the closest friendships, and sometimes friendships fall apart. The loss can be staggering. As we struggle to digest the pain and confusion, we wonder, How could this happen? And what do I do now?
In When a Friendship Falls Apart , beloved author Elizabeth Laing Thompson comes alongside readers as they process their struggling friendships―the faltering, the fractured, and the failed. Blending personal story, biblical examples, and faith-filled wisdom, each page explores questions like the If you find yourself in the midst of a friendship that’s falling apart, or you’re grappling with past hurts and regrets, this book is for you. May it be a comfort and help, leading you closer to the Friend who will never leave.
They say friends are the family we choose. And that choosing―the joy of loving and being loved by someone who isn’t genetically obligated to share life with us―adds priceless worth to our days, but also great risk. Because hurt can happen even in the closest friendships, and sometimes friendships fall apart. The loss can be staggering. As we struggle to digest the pain and confusion, we wonder, How could this happen? And what do I do now?
In When a Friendship Falls Apart , beloved author Elizabeth Laing Thompson comes alongside readers as they process their struggling friendships―the faltering, the fractured, and the failed. Blending personal story, biblical examples, and faith-filled wisdom, each page explores questions like the If you find yourself in the midst of a friendship that’s falling apart, or you’re grappling with past hurts and regrets, this book is for you. May it be a comfort and help, leading you closer to the Friend who will never leave.
304 pages, Paperback
Published October 17, 2023
29 people are currently reading
588 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
October 24, 2023
If I could make it so that no one ever needed this book, I would. If I could somehow make sure that everyone who needs this book has a copy to underline and return to, I would. And if I could give this book more than five stars, I would.
But since I can't, I'll simply say this is not only a much-needed message -- it's thoughtfully written, both honest and encouraging, challenging and comforting. I can only imagine that it was a difficult book to write, but in doing so, Thompson has offered a kind, gentle, heartbreaking but hope-full gift to readers.
But since I can't, I'll simply say this is not only a much-needed message -- it's thoughtfully written, both honest and encouraging, challenging and comforting. I can only imagine that it was a difficult book to write, but in doing so, Thompson has offered a kind, gentle, heartbreaking but hope-full gift to readers.
May 5, 2025
This book is great. I loved how it pointed the reader back to Jesus every time. I really needed this.
The writing style is vulnerable and honest. Many of the ‘I bet you were thinking and feeling this, right?’ questions were spot on. I was like, yes, yes exactly. That’s exactly what I was feeling during the friendship break up.
The advice is fantastic. The author delivers it gently, yet firmly. She gives her own personal testimony to show how she worked through it with scripture and prayer.
I did cry reading this a little. I felt like the author was a big sister holding me and telling me it was going to be okay. That’s a good thing if you can make your reader feel supported in that way, even just through words.
I lost a dearly beloved friend, I’ll nickname him J here. His betrayal sucked, especially when he didn’t seem to feel remorse for his words or actions. I was so surprised by the venom that poured out of him one day, bitter about things I had done or said. I was shocked.
There was nothing I could have done to fix it, he had already determined in his heart that I was a villain and that I meant to hurt him, even though I didn’t. I knew it was over, no matter what I did or said. He made his choice to be really nasty about it and wasn’t willing to listen. You can’t change a cold hearted person, only they can.
I still miss him, even though I know J’s not good for me. He is no longer the person I once knew. I deserve to be treated with decency and respect, and I’ll hold to that.
This book made it a little easier to process the grief and unfairness of the situation. A lot of the examples hit home with my experiences.
My critiques about the book are that the friendship conflict scenario is referred to as between women, and so the author writes as if it’s a « you had a conflict with her,” scenario. My situation was with a guy friend, so I wished the author used more gender neutral language.
This conflict is referred to only as between believers but my situation deals with a non-believer.
I also wasn’t too fond of the mini stories in this book. Where the author re-enacts certain moments from scripture to pull wisdom from. The messaging was always great, but the stories she made up based on scripture felt as thought they hammered the point on your head a little too hard. I wanted to skip those parts. They were small, 2 page paragraphs so not bad enough to take off a star.
Overall, it’s still a really well written book. I definitely recommend.
The writing style is vulnerable and honest. Many of the ‘I bet you were thinking and feeling this, right?’ questions were spot on. I was like, yes, yes exactly. That’s exactly what I was feeling during the friendship break up.
The advice is fantastic. The author delivers it gently, yet firmly. She gives her own personal testimony to show how she worked through it with scripture and prayer.
I did cry reading this a little. I felt like the author was a big sister holding me and telling me it was going to be okay. That’s a good thing if you can make your reader feel supported in that way, even just through words.
I lost a dearly beloved friend, I’ll nickname him J here. His betrayal sucked, especially when he didn’t seem to feel remorse for his words or actions. I was so surprised by the venom that poured out of him one day, bitter about things I had done or said. I was shocked.
There was nothing I could have done to fix it, he had already determined in his heart that I was a villain and that I meant to hurt him, even though I didn’t. I knew it was over, no matter what I did or said. He made his choice to be really nasty about it and wasn’t willing to listen. You can’t change a cold hearted person, only they can.
I still miss him, even though I know J’s not good for me. He is no longer the person I once knew. I deserve to be treated with decency and respect, and I’ll hold to that.
This book made it a little easier to process the grief and unfairness of the situation. A lot of the examples hit home with my experiences.
My critiques about the book are that the friendship conflict scenario is referred to as between women, and so the author writes as if it’s a « you had a conflict with her,” scenario. My situation was with a guy friend, so I wished the author used more gender neutral language.
This conflict is referred to only as between believers but my situation deals with a non-believer.
I also wasn’t too fond of the mini stories in this book. Where the author re-enacts certain moments from scripture to pull wisdom from. The messaging was always great, but the stories she made up based on scripture felt as thought they hammered the point on your head a little too hard. I wanted to skip those parts. They were small, 2 page paragraphs so not bad enough to take off a star.
Overall, it’s still a really well written book. I definitely recommend.
April 13, 2024
Reading this book felt like a big sister talking to me and guiding me through life’s relational stickiness. Elizabeth has done it again.. highly recommend!!
September 23, 2023
This is one of those books I hope you never have to read, but if you do find yourself with a friendship falling apart, this is the one you want to read. It will heal your very soul when you grieve the loss of a beloved friendship. There were so many pearls of wisdom. I wish this book had been available years ago, but I am so thankful to have it now.
Elizabeth comes across as incredibly genuine, honest, and heartfelt. I knew she understood how I've felt when facing friendship challenges, and I could trust her insights.
Sometimes, I find these types of books as excessively wordy and superfluous in an attempt to come across as deep and thoughtful. That isn't the case with Elizabeth. I really felt her prayers and heart in this book.
Her stories and metaphors were well thought out and relevant to the message she was communicating. Her use of faith and Scripture provided hope and comfort.
Highly recommend this one! Thanks @tyndalehouse for the early digital copy to review. I recommend you pre-order this one, it is available October 17.
Since I highlighted so many passages from this book, I thought I'd share my top ones.
"I don't want to be stuck in this place, mourning this friendship--and missing this friend--forever."
"It's a lonely loss, a private grief, like a divorce no one can see. No one's going to send cards or flowers. Hallmark doesn't make a Friendship Breakup sympathy card; churches don't offer Friendship Loss Support Groups. It's not something we can announce on social media, seeking emotional support or prayers."
"Losing a friendship is an invisible heart-wound, a quiet bleed. Left untreated, it can be a silent killer."
"I'm not sure which evil Satan finds more delightful: tearing friends apart, or using the aftermath either to cripple us with insecurity and shame or to shackle us with chains of bitterness and cynicism."
Elizabeth comes across as incredibly genuine, honest, and heartfelt. I knew she understood how I've felt when facing friendship challenges, and I could trust her insights.
Sometimes, I find these types of books as excessively wordy and superfluous in an attempt to come across as deep and thoughtful. That isn't the case with Elizabeth. I really felt her prayers and heart in this book.
Her stories and metaphors were well thought out and relevant to the message she was communicating. Her use of faith and Scripture provided hope and comfort.
Highly recommend this one! Thanks @tyndalehouse for the early digital copy to review. I recommend you pre-order this one, it is available October 17.
Since I highlighted so many passages from this book, I thought I'd share my top ones.
"I don't want to be stuck in this place, mourning this friendship--and missing this friend--forever."
"It's a lonely loss, a private grief, like a divorce no one can see. No one's going to send cards or flowers. Hallmark doesn't make a Friendship Breakup sympathy card; churches don't offer Friendship Loss Support Groups. It's not something we can announce on social media, seeking emotional support or prayers."
"Losing a friendship is an invisible heart-wound, a quiet bleed. Left untreated, it can be a silent killer."
"I'm not sure which evil Satan finds more delightful: tearing friends apart, or using the aftermath either to cripple us with insecurity and shame or to shackle us with chains of bitterness and cynicism."
October 17, 2023
This book is relatable whether you are currently having a friendship struggle or had one in the past. Elizabeth provides encouragement and steps to promote healing while adhering to God's truth. Reading this book feels like sitting with a friend who truly understands you. I definitely recommend reading!
April 12, 2024
This was a really convicting book actually. It showed me myself , areas I have failed as a friend and encouraged me in ways I can repair, mend and just be mindful.
October 13, 2023
People are hard sometimes, and if we’re being honest, we have to admit we can be hard sometimes. In fact, I think we all probably have to raise our hands at one point or another and say, “It’s me. I’m people.” With people come relationships and friendships, and, undoubtedly, heartbreak and broken friendships.
We’ve all been there.
In “When Friendship Falls Apart, Elizabeth Laing Thompson does an amazing job of weaving narrative, humor, honesty, and biblical wisdom into a beautiful tapestry. She is heartfelt and transparent without being cheesy and cliche, giving her reader thought-provoking questions for reflection at the end of each chapter.
This isn’t just a book lamenting the hurt of broken friendship; it’s a guide for healing that allows is to reflect, assess, heal, and grow—all while pointing us back to our Creator.
If you are in the middle of this heartbreak or still trying to heal from past hurt from broken friendships, this is a must read!
November 10, 2023
Friendship is one of life's most delightful blessings, and also one of the most difficult hurts to recover from when the relationship implodes. This book is so necessary in today's culture, which tells us to sever ties when people hurt and/or offend us. Instead, Elizabeth delicately points us toward a compass that guides us on a different course. One that offers hope. There are plenty of other books about friendship in the marketplace, but this is the first one I've read that really speaks to my deepest struggles. My favorite aspect of Elizabeth's book is her willingness to go first. She's relatable and empathetic because she leads with her own struggles in this area, which is super brave, and makes the subsequent message of forgiveness more palatable. It takes courage to pursue healing and let go of those lingering grudges which aren't serving us well.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the complimentary copy. Opinions shared here are my own.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the complimentary copy. Opinions shared here are my own.
January 25, 2024
Such a helpful book written by a pastor’s wife with a great deal of Biblical wisdom and perspective on navigating broken relationships. I was encouraged and gained valuable insights about myself and others, relationships, and even about God as I journaled and highlighted my way through the book and questions at the end of each chapter.
I really needed help processing a lot of relationship changes at once after a messy church split as well as years of trauma from being in toxic relationships. This book was a blessing and help to me in working through everything in a Biblical way. Highly recommended!
I really needed help processing a lot of relationship changes at once after a messy church split as well as years of trauma from being in toxic relationships. This book was a blessing and help to me in working through everything in a Biblical way. Highly recommended!
August 3, 2024
This book has shown that friendship breakups are common and lays out ways to potentially fix them, heal or move on.
If you are religious (assuming so if you chose this book), Thompson gives plenty of scriptures to help relate, process, and heal. However, I find this book to be relatable even if you aren’t strict with religion. Someone can draw from biblical characters and the present day examples without having to fully embrace the religion aspects.
Although I did enjoy this version as a Christian, I think I would love a religion neutral book that still focuses on the broken cup, bowl, hummingbird and shells.
Praying that this book will be helpful where I am at in my journey.
If you are religious (assuming so if you chose this book), Thompson gives plenty of scriptures to help relate, process, and heal. However, I find this book to be relatable even if you aren’t strict with religion. Someone can draw from biblical characters and the present day examples without having to fully embrace the religion aspects.
Although I did enjoy this version as a Christian, I think I would love a religion neutral book that still focuses on the broken cup, bowl, hummingbird and shells.
Praying that this book will be helpful where I am at in my journey.
September 20, 2023
In When a Friendship Falls Apart, Elizabeth tackles a difficult topic that, at some point, affects us all (doesn’t it?). Fresh, imaginative, relatable, its tone is just what I like a book to be: friendly, familiar, but not folksy. With admirable vulnerability, she addresses so much more about female friendship than when it falls apart. It abounds with rich camaraderie and practical insights. Notably, I love how Elizabeth is so faithful to return to God’s Word for guidance, especially when it comes to allowing truth to trump feelings.
October 12, 2023
Having suffered from a broken friendship which I have not completely healed from, it is very easy for a person to just tell you to move on and forget about the person and find another person to fill the gap😓.
I had to stop reading and take time to process what I just read, everything the author wrote in this book is completely realistic!! With this new instilled confidence this book has given me, I am ready to put myself out there, to let go of the hurt, the guilt and just do me❤
I had to stop reading and take time to process what I just read, everything the author wrote in this book is completely realistic!! With this new instilled confidence this book has given me, I am ready to put myself out there, to let go of the hurt, the guilt and just do me❤
October 17, 2023
Whether we want to admit it or not, we have all had mishaps and misunderstandings when it comes to friendships and sometimes the sad reality of a friendship falling apart. In Elizabeth Laing Thompson's newest book When Friendship Falls Apart, she tackles a sensitive topic weaving narrative, humor, honesty, and Biblical wisdom together to remind readers there is hope for those of us hurting, healing for any bitterness and healthy ways to enter into vulnerable friendships again.
October 12, 2023
Elizabeth writes her books like she is having a conversation with her readers. She tackles a sensitive subject, adding in little bits of humor.
Breaking up with a friend is hard to do, but Elizabeth shares some excellent pointers and stories from her own life experiences to help. She ties in stories from the Bible for scriptural support.
Breaking up with a friend is hard to do, but Elizabeth shares some excellent pointers and stories from her own life experiences to help. She ties in stories from the Bible for scriptural support.
December 18, 2023
Easily one of my favorite books of 2023. Tender, sensitive, thoughtful, and encouraging for many different situations, probably some you haven't even considered. A must-read for women whose hearts have been hurt by difficulties in friendships.
June 3, 2024
Grieving the loss of friendship yet still believing in God’s ability to restore and redeem! Praying for growth and healing because miscommunication and misunderstandings sucks.
This book gave a lot of helpful scenarios, clarity, and hope.
This book gave a lot of helpful scenarios, clarity, and hope.
January 18, 2024
Even if you’ve never had a friendship fall apart, this book provides good wisdom to navigate friendships—really any relationship—in a Godly way. Good humor. Good stuff.
July 13, 2024
4.5 stars
July 18, 2024
Everyone should read this book.
January 18, 2025
I did not finish this book as I felt the message was repetitive. I got what I needed out of it and then stopped it. It was beautifully written though. Very raw.
October 17, 2023
I wish I had read this book years ago. Reading Elizabeth's book was like sitting down with a friend. I appreciated that she shared relatable stories and situations about her friendship experiences and loved that she shared wisdom from a biblical perspective on such a sensitive subject. This book will encourage anyone struggling to navigate through those painful situations that sometimes happen between friends.
October 19, 2023
Humans can be complicated beings. Whether we like to admit it or not, we can all use a little help in the area of friendship relationships. This long-awaited book is full of helpful insights to get back on track whether a friendship is in the midst of faltering or has flat-out fallen apart.
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews