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Only She Came Back
A chilling thriller about an unlikely friendship between a true-crime fan and a former high school classmate suspected of murdering her influencer boyfriend, perfect for fans of Holly Jackson and Courtney Summers.
On July 28 at 6:30 p.m., Kiri Dunsmore walks out of the desert wearing her boyfriend’s sweatshirt, covered in his blood. Dazed and on the verge of unconsciousness, she tells a cashier that he’s still out there and most likely dead. The disappearance of Callum Massey, a “survival guru” with hundreds of thousands of YouTube followers, rocks the nation. And Kiri is a prime suspect.
Back in Kiri's hometown, true-crime fanatic Sam is completely hooked on the case—especially now that she recognizes the suspect as shy Katie from high school. Although they didn’t know each other well, that doesn’t stop Sam from reaching out to befriend her old classmate.
But when Kiri starts to confide in her, Sam realizes there’s more to the story than she had imagined. Can she keep Kiri’s secrets even though revealing them could put her where she's always longed to be—at the center of the story?
On July 28 at 6:30 p.m., Kiri Dunsmore walks out of the desert wearing her boyfriend’s sweatshirt, covered in his blood. Dazed and on the verge of unconsciousness, she tells a cashier that he’s still out there and most likely dead. The disappearance of Callum Massey, a “survival guru” with hundreds of thousands of YouTube followers, rocks the nation. And Kiri is a prime suspect.
Back in Kiri's hometown, true-crime fanatic Sam is completely hooked on the case—especially now that she recognizes the suspect as shy Katie from high school. Although they didn’t know each other well, that doesn’t stop Sam from reaching out to befriend her old classmate.
But when Kiri starts to confide in her, Sam realizes there’s more to the story than she had imagined. Can she keep Kiri’s secrets even though revealing them could put her where she's always longed to be—at the center of the story?
320 pages, Hardcover
First published November 14, 2023
67 people are currently reading
8965 people want to read
About the author
Margot Harrison
6 books274 followersMargot Harrison was raised in the wilds of New York by lovely, nonviolent parents who somehow never managed to prevent her from staying up late to read scary books. She now works at an alt-weekly newspaper in Vermont, where her favorite part of the job is, of course, reviewing scary books and movies.
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April 10, 2023This is my book. It was mostly written late at night, in various un-ergonomic setups, under the influence of those knock-off "healthy" Pringles chips and bad instant coffee. I think Sam, my narrator, would relate. Thank you so much for adding Only She Came Back or reading it or writing a review or a rant or just interacting with it in any way. Thank you for being a reader.
Content warnings:
— Violence
— Emotional abuse and grooming
— Dieting, disordered eating and mentions of fatphobia
— Mentions of past domestic abuse
— Brief substance use
— Off-page animal death (chicken)
Content warnings:
— Violence
— Emotional abuse and grooming
— Dieting, disordered eating and mentions of fatphobia
— Mentions of past domestic abuse
— Brief substance use
— Off-page animal death (chicken)
December 31, 2023
It seems 2023 was the year when all those podcasts about murders became the subjects themselves of terrific books and TV series: Rebecca Makkai's I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS for you and the streaming series, ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING and BASED ON A TRUE STORY immediately come to mind. Add to that list Margot Harrison's riveting, smart, and insightful new novel, ONLY SHE CAME BACK. A teenage girl in Vermont, who's an aspiring podcaster, sees an opportunity when a classmate gets involved with a celebrity influencer, a twenty-something heart throb who is now presumed dead in the deserts of the American southwest. The classmate -- the she who came back -- was making videos with him, and returned from the desert with his bloody sweatshirt wrapped around her. Ah, but did she kill him? Harrison uses this investigation to keep us riveted, but what makes the novel so memorable is the deep dive she takes into the serial awkwardness of being a teenager. I loved everything about this one.
March 17, 2024
imagine if i got my time back. like, imagine
January 10, 2024
I was completely influenced by Bookstagram to read Only She Came Back by Margot Harrison and I am so glad that this lovely community put both the book and its author on my radar! This was a very pacy and engaging read, and I loved the podcast and true crime elements of the book as well. The mixed media really came alive in the audiobook, but I also enjoyed how it was laid out in the physical copy. There are twists and turns along the way and I was more than happy to just be along for the ride. I don't know that I truly LOVED any of the characters, but I could appreciate what Sam was trying to do most of the time.
I do think that the audio makes for the best format here and between our talented narrator Anna Caputo and the sound effects, it is a very entertaining and lively experience. The tension felt pretty high continuously throughout the entire story, and Harrison did a great job of keeping me on the edge of my seat. The end did feel a bit anticlimactic to me for some reason, and I can't say the big twist shocked me as much as I was hoping it would (too much hype maybe?), but there was still plenty here to keep my overall enjoyment high. If you are a reader of young adult fiction and love true crime podcasts with your mysteries, Only She Came Back is a nice quick read and an excellent choice!
I do think that the audio makes for the best format here and between our talented narrator Anna Caputo and the sound effects, it is a very entertaining and lively experience. The tension felt pretty high continuously throughout the entire story, and Harrison did a great job of keeping me on the edge of my seat. The end did feel a bit anticlimactic to me for some reason, and I can't say the big twist shocked me as much as I was hoping it would (too much hype maybe?), but there was still plenty here to keep my overall enjoyment high. If you are a reader of young adult fiction and love true crime podcasts with your mysteries, Only She Came Back is a nice quick read and an excellent choice!
November 7, 2023
If I had to describe this book in one word, it would be "bizarre."
ONLY SHE CAME BACK follows the story of Kiri Dunsmore, whose survival guru and YouTuber boyfriend, Callum, has recently disappeared. Kiri and Callum went into the desert together to try and survive, but Kiri came back alone, in a sweatshirt covered in blood. When Sam hears the story and remembers Kiri from high school, she becomes obsessed with the case and decides to get close to Kiri to discover the truth.
Content warnings: violence, emotional abuse, grooming, disordered eating, fatphobia, domestic abuse, substance abuse, off-page animal death
I will say, I enjoyed the mixed-media storytelling. In addition to Sam's narrative, we get to read Kiri's journal entries and transcripts of YouTube videos covering the case. Unfortunately, the rest of the story was quite weak.
The characters, including our main character Sam, were all incredibly unlikable. Now, I'm a fan of an unreliable, and even unlikable, narrator, but they have to have something about them that's relatable or redeeming (i.e., the "Save the Cat" philosophy), and this book lacked that.
I had a difficult time suspending my disbelief with the actions in this book, starting with Kiri being so willing to open up to a girl she wasn't friends with and only knew because they did one project together in their junior year of high school (and they are now out of high school), and going all the way to the number of laws these characters were breaking that had absolutely no repercussions or consequences at the end of the story. Everyone just walked away and moved on as though nothing happened at all.
The voice of the story was too juvenile for the characters, as well. Sam and Kiri are 18, but you'd think they were younger based on how they spoke. Some of the language was outdated in, what I think, was the author's attempt at sounding like a teenager (for example, the unironic use of "YOLO").
The events comprising the ending had no establishment and seemed to come out of nowhere. Revelations fly at you with breakneck speed and little explanation, and I ended the book with more questions than I started it with. Endings should feel earned from seeds that were planted along the way. Instead, this novel utilized random plot twists for the sake of surprising the reader and at the expense of telling an honest story. It's better to have a predictable ending that was earned than a surprising ending that came out of nowhere.
Unfortunately, if you're looking for a fun, mystery book for spooky season, this is not the one to pick up.
Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
ONLY SHE CAME BACK follows the story of Kiri Dunsmore, whose survival guru and YouTuber boyfriend, Callum, has recently disappeared. Kiri and Callum went into the desert together to try and survive, but Kiri came back alone, in a sweatshirt covered in blood. When Sam hears the story and remembers Kiri from high school, she becomes obsessed with the case and decides to get close to Kiri to discover the truth.
Content warnings: violence, emotional abuse, grooming, disordered eating, fatphobia, domestic abuse, substance abuse, off-page animal death
I will say, I enjoyed the mixed-media storytelling. In addition to Sam's narrative, we get to read Kiri's journal entries and transcripts of YouTube videos covering the case. Unfortunately, the rest of the story was quite weak.
The characters, including our main character Sam, were all incredibly unlikable. Now, I'm a fan of an unreliable, and even unlikable, narrator, but they have to have something about them that's relatable or redeeming (i.e., the "Save the Cat" philosophy), and this book lacked that.
I had a difficult time suspending my disbelief with the actions in this book, starting with Kiri being so willing to open up to a girl she wasn't friends with and only knew because they did one project together in their junior year of high school (and they are now out of high school), and going all the way to the number of laws these characters were breaking that had absolutely no repercussions or consequences at the end of the story. Everyone just walked away and moved on as though nothing happened at all.
The voice of the story was too juvenile for the characters, as well. Sam and Kiri are 18, but you'd think they were younger based on how they spoke. Some of the language was outdated in, what I think, was the author's attempt at sounding like a teenager (for example, the unironic use of "YOLO").
The events comprising the ending had no establishment and seemed to come out of nowhere. Revelations fly at you with breakneck speed and little explanation, and I ended the book with more questions than I started it with. Endings should feel earned from seeds that were planted along the way. Instead, this novel utilized random plot twists for the sake of surprising the reader and at the expense of telling an honest story. It's better to have a predictable ending that was earned than a surprising ending that came out of nowhere.
Unfortunately, if you're looking for a fun, mystery book for spooky season, this is not the one to pick up.
Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
October 15, 2023
Intensely gripping, with a fast paced and easy to read writing style, Only She Came Back had me hooked from its first page. Despite finding the characters fell a little flat and the romance(?) unnecessary, I found myself incredibly invested in the at the core of this story. It was a little predictable but had enough twists and curveballs to keep me guessing until the final page. It was suspenseful, gripping and bought up some fabulous conversations about society relationship with true crime content. It also featured ace/demi representation and multiple queer relationships, which was a nice surprise.
Overall, this was a super entertaining read and one of the better YA thrillers I've read this year.
TW: disordered eating/weight loss, toxic relationship, discussion of sexual assault and harassment.
Overall, this was a super entertaining read and one of the better YA thrillers I've read this year.
TW: disordered eating/weight loss, toxic relationship, discussion of sexual assault and harassment.
December 26, 2023
So….the ending kind of sucked.
November 2, 2023
Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for my e-ARC of Only She Came Back!
𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔
🎧 are a true crime podcast junkie
🏜️ have ever been in the desert
📖 like to read YA
🌪️ enjoy a twisty mystery
• 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓
On July 28 at 6:30 p.m., Kiri Dunsmore walks out of the desert wearing her boyfriend’s sweatshirt, covered in his blood. Dazed and on the verge of unconsciousness, she tells a cashier that he’s still out there and most likely dead. The disappearance of Callum Massey, a “survival guru” with hundreds of thousands of YouTube followers, rocks the nation. And Kiri is a prime suspect.
Back in Kiri's hometown, true-crime fanatic Sam is completely hooked on the case—especially now that she recognizes the suspect as shy Katie from high school. Although they didn’t know each other well, that doesn’t stop Sam from reaching out to befriend her old classmate.
But when Kiri starts to confide in her, Sam realizes there’s more to the story than she had imagined. Can she keep Kiri’s secrets even though revealing them could put her where she's always longed to be—at the center of the story?
• 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒
This was a fun and twisty mystery that centers on true crime and how much the media influences certain stories over others. We have all heard that missing white women are covered more by the mainstream media than other cases, and Only She Came Back explores that theme, but a little differently since a man has gone missing this time. I liked the way the story was told and that we saw different angles i.e. from videos, media, and diary entries to name a few. Overall, this is a great choice for people who enjoy true crime, both in real life and in fiction!
𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔
🎧 are a true crime podcast junkie
🏜️ have ever been in the desert
📖 like to read YA
🌪️ enjoy a twisty mystery
• 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓
On July 28 at 6:30 p.m., Kiri Dunsmore walks out of the desert wearing her boyfriend’s sweatshirt, covered in his blood. Dazed and on the verge of unconsciousness, she tells a cashier that he’s still out there and most likely dead. The disappearance of Callum Massey, a “survival guru” with hundreds of thousands of YouTube followers, rocks the nation. And Kiri is a prime suspect.
Back in Kiri's hometown, true-crime fanatic Sam is completely hooked on the case—especially now that she recognizes the suspect as shy Katie from high school. Although they didn’t know each other well, that doesn’t stop Sam from reaching out to befriend her old classmate.
But when Kiri starts to confide in her, Sam realizes there’s more to the story than she had imagined. Can she keep Kiri’s secrets even though revealing them could put her where she's always longed to be—at the center of the story?
• 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒
This was a fun and twisty mystery that centers on true crime and how much the media influences certain stories over others. We have all heard that missing white women are covered more by the mainstream media than other cases, and Only She Came Back explores that theme, but a little differently since a man has gone missing this time. I liked the way the story was told and that we saw different angles i.e. from videos, media, and diary entries to name a few. Overall, this is a great choice for people who enjoy true crime, both in real life and in fiction!
December 13, 2023
Rating: 1.5 stars.
The only thing I enjoyed about this was the mixed-media storytelling. Everything else was a mess. Everything was so far-fetched and unbelievable, you didn't understand any of the character's actions and everyone was honestly just really stupid. The story dragged in the middle with nothing happening and the journal entries didn't exactly help with the pacing.
The ending came out of nowhere and was still predictable, with everything suddenly being very convenient. Some of the plot points were never explained and the open ending didn't help hiding the plot holes the ending left open.
The only thing I enjoyed about this was the mixed-media storytelling. Everything else was a mess. Everything was so far-fetched and unbelievable, you didn't understand any of the character's actions and everyone was honestly just really stupid. The story dragged in the middle with nothing happening and the journal entries didn't exactly help with the pacing.
The ending came out of nowhere and was still predictable, with everything suddenly being very convenient. Some of the plot points were never explained and the open ending didn't help hiding the plot holes the ending left open.
November 18, 2023
This true crime-inspired fiction story explores society’s fascination with true crime. We’ve become eager gawkers for murder and missing person cases. With the help of social media, it’s easy to play keyboard detectives, stating opinions as facts as we type away on blogs and Instagram posts.
More broadly, the story reveals how we long to be wanted by someone. When lost, we follow anything that makes us feel seen, even if someone else controls the narrative. With this, it’s so easy to fall prey to emotional and psychological abuse.
I really enjoyed the mixed media format: video posts and diary entries along with a daily account from our true crime fan, Samara (aka Sam). As Sam befriends Kiri, the lies, deception, and secrets unfold. I often questioned Kiri’s motives as the lines blurred between attacker/victim/survivor. Wonderful to see another YA novel with great representation: nonbinary, bisexual, and asexual, along with queer relationships.
I recommend this one for fans of Courtney Summers, Holly Jackson, and Wendy Heard. Overall, a very entertaining thriller!
More broadly, the story reveals how we long to be wanted by someone. When lost, we follow anything that makes us feel seen, even if someone else controls the narrative. With this, it’s so easy to fall prey to emotional and psychological abuse.
I really enjoyed the mixed media format: video posts and diary entries along with a daily account from our true crime fan, Samara (aka Sam). As Sam befriends Kiri, the lies, deception, and secrets unfold. I often questioned Kiri’s motives as the lines blurred between attacker/victim/survivor. Wonderful to see another YA novel with great representation: nonbinary, bisexual, and asexual, along with queer relationships.
I recommend this one for fans of Courtney Summers, Holly Jackson, and Wendy Heard. Overall, a very entertaining thriller!
January 26, 2024
Trigger warnings: murder, blood, toxic relationship, disordered eating, emotional abuse, adult/minor relationship, drug use, sexual assault, stalking, gaslighting, body shaming, animal death
I listened to this on audiobook and I think it made all the difference. It was compelling and messy and I was desperate to find out what happened next in a way that I don't think I would have if I'd been reading a print version.
Anyway, this was definitely darker than I anticipated it being, and perhaps a LITTLE less murder-y? I did like that it deals with a protagonist who's graduated from high school and it hasn't gone the way she thought it would and now she's not sure where she's going with her life. I liked that it dealt with social media and influencers and the toxicity around them both.
The ending wasn't quite what I expected it to be, but the story on the whole was pretty solid (yes, it's ridiculous at times, but I had fun so I didn't care).
I listened to this on audiobook and I think it made all the difference. It was compelling and messy and I was desperate to find out what happened next in a way that I don't think I would have if I'd been reading a print version.
Anyway, this was definitely darker than I anticipated it being, and perhaps a LITTLE less murder-y? I did like that it deals with a protagonist who's graduated from high school and it hasn't gone the way she thought it would and now she's not sure where she's going with her life. I liked that it dealt with social media and influencers and the toxicity around them both.
The ending wasn't quite what I expected it to be, but the story on the whole was pretty solid (yes, it's ridiculous at times, but I had fun so I didn't care).
April 5, 2024
4.5 Stars
This was so intense. This is a very dark, very twisty thriller, somewhere on the brink between Young Adult and New Adult. It's about toxic, manipulative relationships and healing from them, about the true crime obsession of the last few years, about the pitfalls of influencer culture, all wrapped up in a suspenseful murder mystery. I really enjoyed this for its nuanced exploration of these topics and its morally grey cast of characters. I really appreciate that this novel centers on survivors and victims of abuse and deconstructs the "Perfect Victim" narrative present in a lot of true crime media. Last but not least, I also really enjoyed the LGBTIA+ representation (there are bi, ace and non-binary characters), especially the novel's subtle exploration of asexual/demisexual identity.
I don't want to say too much, because there are so many twists and turns in this one. "Only She Came Back" is a dark YA thriller about imperfect, morally grey characters and true crime obsession, set around the disappearance of a beloved youtube star in the New Mexico desert. It's a gripping, intense thriller, but it's also a well thought out, complex look at toxic relationship dynamics that focuses on the people behind every true crime story: Survivors and victims. I really enjoyed this and will pick up more books by this author.
This was so intense. This is a very dark, very twisty thriller, somewhere on the brink between Young Adult and New Adult. It's about toxic, manipulative relationships and healing from them, about the true crime obsession of the last few years, about the pitfalls of influencer culture, all wrapped up in a suspenseful murder mystery. I really enjoyed this for its nuanced exploration of these topics and its morally grey cast of characters. I really appreciate that this novel centers on survivors and victims of abuse and deconstructs the "Perfect Victim" narrative present in a lot of true crime media. Last but not least, I also really enjoyed the LGBTIA+ representation (there are bi, ace and non-binary characters), especially the novel's subtle exploration of asexual/demisexual identity.
I don't want to say too much, because there are so many twists and turns in this one. "Only She Came Back" is a dark YA thriller about imperfect, morally grey characters and true crime obsession, set around the disappearance of a beloved youtube star in the New Mexico desert. It's a gripping, intense thriller, but it's also a well thought out, complex look at toxic relationship dynamics that focuses on the people behind every true crime story: Survivors and victims. I really enjoyed this and will pick up more books by this author.
December 21, 2023
Book Rating-4.0 stars-
When an old classmate emerges from the desert covered in her missing boyfriend's blood, Sam is interested in her story for potential use in her defunct true crime podcast and befriends the young woman.
Firstly, I wouldn't call Sam a podcaster, she did one season and hasn't returned to it. And the podcast wasn't a major part of the story, other than to bring up some tension.
Secondly, I think the shame of true crime is unwarranted unless people are being exploitative. A lot of people who consume true crime want answers for the victims. And honestly, sites like Pornhub are MORE exploitive to people (the "actors" in the "films") than good true crime podcasts.
The story was pretty good with lots of twists. But the characters weren't very likable, and it got a bit tedious at parts.
Narrator Rating: 4 stars
She was pretty good and did okay with different vocal changes for each character, though some were a bit too similar.
Extra ratings: Fluff - 0/5 Heartfelt- 4.5/5 Helpful -NA Horror -0/5 Inspiration -NA Love aka Romance- 3/5 Mystery -3/5 Predictability -3/5 Spice-0.5/5 Suspense -3.5/5 Tear- 3/5 Thrill -3.5/5 Humor-0/5
When an old classmate emerges from the desert covered in her missing boyfriend's blood, Sam is interested in her story for potential use in her defunct true crime podcast and befriends the young woman.
Firstly, I wouldn't call Sam a podcaster, she did one season and hasn't returned to it. And the podcast wasn't a major part of the story, other than to bring up some tension.
Secondly, I think the shame of true crime is unwarranted unless people are being exploitative. A lot of people who consume true crime want answers for the victims. And honestly, sites like Pornhub are MORE exploitive to people (the "actors" in the "films") than good true crime podcasts.
The story was pretty good with lots of twists. But the characters weren't very likable, and it got a bit tedious at parts.
Narrator Rating: 4 stars
She was pretty good and did okay with different vocal changes for each character, though some were a bit too similar.
Extra ratings: Fluff - 0/5 Heartfelt- 4.5/5 Helpful -NA Horror -0/5 Inspiration -NA Love aka Romance- 3/5 Mystery -3/5 Predictability -3/5 Spice-0.5/5 Suspense -3.5/5 Tear- 3/5 Thrill -3.5/5 Humor-0/5
October 1, 2023
To start, thank you to Netgalley for this ARC. Getting right into it, I really wanted to like this book. I actually did like parts of it. The writing was done well. You can tell that Harrison knows their voice and how to use it. I also enjoyed the commentary on the ethics of consuming true crime. The consumption of true crime walks an extremely thin line between innocent interest and voyeur. However, I think that’s part of where this book went wrong. Perhaps it’s just me, but I felt that the fiction case portrayed here shared a stark resemblance to the Gabby Petito case. And maybe that was the whole point, to remind people that interest in relevant cases is a tricky thing to navigate. However, for lack of better terms, it felt wrong getting a rehash of a case so recent and terrible. It just made me uncomfortable seeing such a similar story so soon. And perhaps I’m just not reading the overall vibe right here, but that’s how it came off to me. Margot Harrison is a talented writer, but this book missed the mark for me.
May 20, 2024
Enjoyed reading but did not like the end. Unrealistic and the teenage characters were annoying but it was entertaining for sure.
June 14, 2024
Only She Came Back was a lot. Was it kind of bad for 70% of it? Did I kind of only partly listen to the ending because I was plant shopping? Did that improve the ending? Who’s to say, really?
Not to be a Debby downer, but this was—largely—Not Fun. This is what None Of This Is True is glad it isn’t. And I’m self conscious because the author very wholesomely expressed gratitude for any interaction at the top of these reviews, and due mostly to that I don’t want to be too harsh. But, if my numbers are correct, the word “dickwad” was used five. times. “Dillweed” was used at least once. Videos and photos were referred to in both dialogue and exposition exclusively as “vids” and “pics” (which is not unimportant, because social media does play a big role here), and sneakers were called “sneaks,” once again, in exposition. Are these my harshest critical complaints to date? Of course not, but they did make the game of identifying every time these oddities were used more exciting than the novel itself.
I’m told feedback is best presented in something like a sandwich of good, bad, then good, so let’s try that. The novel opens en media res: newscasts or articles or whatever (I’m an audiobook person) describing the video of a young woman stumbling into a gas station covered in (presumably) her missing boyfriend’s blood. Is he dead? Did she kill him? If he isn’t, if she didn’t, where is he, where is the blood from? This is a structure that can be botched, especially by introducing the protagonist first and having them galavant around their normal day for four pages and then stumble upon the news. Instead, Only She Came Back cracks the story like an egg as soon as you start, and I was in it.
I stopped being in it real quick. Another reader might find our narrator, Sam, endearing, classically flawed, misguided as all true teenagers are (is she a teenager? I ask because I think I missed it. Nineteen, maybe?). I found her grating. I don’t have to like a character to think they’re a good character. In fact, I think some of the best characters are truly abhorrent (Umbridge, friends, is the image of an incredible character). Sam is something else. Sam is driven by an obsession, a curiosity that eats at her and allows her not just to make the questionable decisions that might move this story along but to manipulate and lie to a peer who—regardless of the truth of her experience—Sam must know from her knowledge of true crime has been recently traumatized. In the span of only a few moments she expresses pain over having caused Kiri to feel fear and then pines for an improved ability to read her so she can hear all the details when no one else can. Her motivation seems to be: I wanted to know what made female killers tick. And here’s the thing: same? But is that a motive we can root for? Can we really stomach Sam using techniques she has seen FBI agents use to lull serial killers into a false sense of security on an old classmate? Sam’s purpose and its hold on her has a larger issue: the connection and care she seems to immediately harbor and then nurture for Kiri seems completely off base.
It hurt to see that look of fright on her face and know I’d caused it.
This is the first time you’ve interacted with her—an ex classmate—in over a year, and let’s recall that you didn’t give a fuck about her when you knew her before. What are you on?
What I wanted from Sam’s character and her budding relationship with Kiri was one of a few things: I wanted Sam to kill Kiri, or Kiri to kill Sam. I won’t say whether or not this happens, but I will say that I found the climax of the novel, which culminates in a physical fight between characters, disappointing (to be fair, I find almost all climactic fights in novels to be disappointing. Ah, we struggled for the knife! I couldn’t tell whose limbs were where! His hand gripped my throat! I pressed my thumb into his eyes! I squeezed the trigger! She looked down at him as his eyes stared straight upward, unfocused, and found she felt numb. Shut up).
I want to say something about Sam, however, and it will contain spoilers, which I will bold. Her characterization is saved towards the end of the novel, and here’s why. SPOILERS FROM HERE Turns out, everyone saw through her bullshit. Kiri knew she was being used. The other suspects knew what Sam was after. She and her shitty FBI tactics were embarrassingly brazen, her history was public, her disguises pathetic, and everybody knew. END SPOILERS. I don’t know if the author meant for it to work this way. If she did, this was risky, because I wanted Sam to be shot for pretty much the whole thing. This works, however, because we see the people in the fictional world see through the same character that we see through, thus granting that character—and those surrounding her—believability. A character who lies and manipulates everyone and no one sees through it? Unrealistic, intangible, not relatable. A character who lies and manipulates everyone and her targets see through it? That’s the real world, baby.
The side characters did nothing for me, the movie theater job did nothing for me. People exist in communities; you can’t write a real book without them, but Owen and Reggie and Tierney and whomever else were just…inconsequential. Kiri had parents who impacted the story, but did we meet them? Did we meet her lawyer? Both would have been reasonable. Did we meet Sam’s parents? Put them in boarding school if you’re not going to give voices to the families.
The pace of Only She Came Back was passable. If we’re honest, true intrigue only really developed around the 65% mark, and as I always say, a book that is 30% good doesn’t qualify as 100% good. We spend so much time with Sam in her head, sleuthing (badly), and observing the developing relationship between her and Kiri for the first half, we really aren’t all that focused on the mystery. At some point I actually remembered: oh, we don’t actually know if the boyfriend is dead. That would have been a good thing to pepper in more consistently. Kiri’s diary entries kept me on the ski lift, chug-chug-chuggin’ up to the summit with that fucking plastic disc between my legs, ready to jump off at any second.
Only She Came Back is not without its highs, and Kiri’s diaries are perhaps the highest among them. The reason? Horribly, sickeningly, Harrison pens, in first person, the molding of a young girl by an older, psychologically abusive man, with the most gruesome of tools: her inherent ability to love. If you have never been groomed, never been an abused young woman, never come to know the stories of such women, or encountered the behaviors of such men—none of which is to say that these roles cannot be reversed, nor that they are gender specific or present solely in heteronormative relationships—these diary entries may seem farfetched. Perhaps they seem unrealistic. Maybe you can see the signs. Maybe you’ve read a hundred of these novels and seen fictional women succumb to this most private experience of real women, and Harrison’s depiction is on par, or better, or worse. If you believe you can see the early signs of Calum’s abuse in Kiri’s diary and, therefore, believe her foolish or blind, a trophy to you! However, at her most fundamental, Kiri is a teenager without a fully developed brain; she is unpopular (though not terribly disliked) during high school and finds herself physically acceptable but unique in one of the most garish ways for a teenage girl: she is too tall! Enter a twenty three year old man—a full blown, fully functional adult to seventeen year old Kiri—who takes an interest in her. He is unique, attentive, confident. He sees her. He wants her to be her best self, her most capable self, her hottest self. She is earnestly, dearly infatuated with him, and when he accuses her of being just another fan, she has her first experience of proving her true feelings for him. Have you tried this? Consider the benefits of this. You should do this. This will make you better. I am older, I am educated and smart and speak with conviction, and more than anything, I do not need you.
Kiri hurtles into love with Calum, believing she knows him, proving her devotion when he expresses doubt, interpreting his doubt in her as doubt in himself. I wish he knew I loved him more because he is imperfect. I wish he felt safe enough with me to be flawed. Harrison is delicate in her depiction of Kiri’s spiral and careful in her evolution of Calum’s abuse. I believe in Kiri’s experience because of it, and I cheered for her far more than I cheered for Sam (which, admittedly, didn’t take much). Murderer, victim, or neither, I wanted Kiri to win.
Finally, as an afterthought, I appreciated the depiction of sexuality in Only She Came Back; sexuality is actually never explicitly discussed, though multiple characters are gay, bi, and nonbinary (which is gender, I am aware, but relates to my point). Do I believe that three (two?) characters in different friend groups in one novel comprising of only like eight characters are bi? Maybe not. But LQBTQ+ sexuality was both very present and not at all central, thereby normalizing it (in my opinion) and giving it visibility.
I liked little of this; the writing didn’t work for me (so much imperfect tense, so many diction choices), the protagonist was a pretty shitty person, and the story mostly dragged. Only She Came Back notably excels, however, in its presentation of abuse and grooming and the effects that these may have on an impressionable individual.
Not to be a Debby downer, but this was—largely—Not Fun. This is what None Of This Is True is glad it isn’t. And I’m self conscious because the author very wholesomely expressed gratitude for any interaction at the top of these reviews, and due mostly to that I don’t want to be too harsh. But, if my numbers are correct, the word “dickwad” was used five. times. “Dillweed” was used at least once. Videos and photos were referred to in both dialogue and exposition exclusively as “vids” and “pics” (which is not unimportant, because social media does play a big role here), and sneakers were called “sneaks,” once again, in exposition. Are these my harshest critical complaints to date? Of course not, but they did make the game of identifying every time these oddities were used more exciting than the novel itself.
I’m told feedback is best presented in something like a sandwich of good, bad, then good, so let’s try that. The novel opens en media res: newscasts or articles or whatever (I’m an audiobook person) describing the video of a young woman stumbling into a gas station covered in (presumably) her missing boyfriend’s blood. Is he dead? Did she kill him? If he isn’t, if she didn’t, where is he, where is the blood from? This is a structure that can be botched, especially by introducing the protagonist first and having them galavant around their normal day for four pages and then stumble upon the news. Instead, Only She Came Back cracks the story like an egg as soon as you start, and I was in it.
I stopped being in it real quick. Another reader might find our narrator, Sam, endearing, classically flawed, misguided as all true teenagers are (is she a teenager? I ask because I think I missed it. Nineteen, maybe?). I found her grating. I don’t have to like a character to think they’re a good character. In fact, I think some of the best characters are truly abhorrent (Umbridge, friends, is the image of an incredible character). Sam is something else. Sam is driven by an obsession, a curiosity that eats at her and allows her not just to make the questionable decisions that might move this story along but to manipulate and lie to a peer who—regardless of the truth of her experience—Sam must know from her knowledge of true crime has been recently traumatized. In the span of only a few moments she expresses pain over having caused Kiri to feel fear and then pines for an improved ability to read her so she can hear all the details when no one else can. Her motivation seems to be: I wanted to know what made female killers tick. And here’s the thing: same? But is that a motive we can root for? Can we really stomach Sam using techniques she has seen FBI agents use to lull serial killers into a false sense of security on an old classmate? Sam’s purpose and its hold on her has a larger issue: the connection and care she seems to immediately harbor and then nurture for Kiri seems completely off base.
It hurt to see that look of fright on her face and know I’d caused it.
This is the first time you’ve interacted with her—an ex classmate—in over a year, and let’s recall that you didn’t give a fuck about her when you knew her before. What are you on?
What I wanted from Sam’s character and her budding relationship with Kiri was one of a few things: I wanted Sam to kill Kiri, or Kiri to kill Sam. I won’t say whether or not this happens, but I will say that I found the climax of the novel, which culminates in a physical fight between characters, disappointing (to be fair, I find almost all climactic fights in novels to be disappointing. Ah, we struggled for the knife! I couldn’t tell whose limbs were where! His hand gripped my throat! I pressed my thumb into his eyes! I squeezed the trigger! She looked down at him as his eyes stared straight upward, unfocused, and found she felt numb. Shut up).
I want to say something about Sam, however, and it will contain spoilers, which I will bold. Her characterization is saved towards the end of the novel, and here’s why. SPOILERS FROM HERE Turns out, everyone saw through her bullshit. Kiri knew she was being used. The other suspects knew what Sam was after. She and her shitty FBI tactics were embarrassingly brazen, her history was public, her disguises pathetic, and everybody knew. END SPOILERS. I don’t know if the author meant for it to work this way. If she did, this was risky, because I wanted Sam to be shot for pretty much the whole thing. This works, however, because we see the people in the fictional world see through the same character that we see through, thus granting that character—and those surrounding her—believability. A character who lies and manipulates everyone and no one sees through it? Unrealistic, intangible, not relatable. A character who lies and manipulates everyone and her targets see through it? That’s the real world, baby.
The side characters did nothing for me, the movie theater job did nothing for me. People exist in communities; you can’t write a real book without them, but Owen and Reggie and Tierney and whomever else were just…inconsequential. Kiri had parents who impacted the story, but did we meet them? Did we meet her lawyer? Both would have been reasonable. Did we meet Sam’s parents? Put them in boarding school if you’re not going to give voices to the families.
The pace of Only She Came Back was passable. If we’re honest, true intrigue only really developed around the 65% mark, and as I always say, a book that is 30% good doesn’t qualify as 100% good. We spend so much time with Sam in her head, sleuthing (badly), and observing the developing relationship between her and Kiri for the first half, we really aren’t all that focused on the mystery. At some point I actually remembered: oh, we don’t actually know if the boyfriend is dead. That would have been a good thing to pepper in more consistently. Kiri’s diary entries kept me on the ski lift, chug-chug-chuggin’ up to the summit with that fucking plastic disc between my legs, ready to jump off at any second.
Only She Came Back is not without its highs, and Kiri’s diaries are perhaps the highest among them. The reason? Horribly, sickeningly, Harrison pens, in first person, the molding of a young girl by an older, psychologically abusive man, with the most gruesome of tools: her inherent ability to love. If you have never been groomed, never been an abused young woman, never come to know the stories of such women, or encountered the behaviors of such men—none of which is to say that these roles cannot be reversed, nor that they are gender specific or present solely in heteronormative relationships—these diary entries may seem farfetched. Perhaps they seem unrealistic. Maybe you can see the signs. Maybe you’ve read a hundred of these novels and seen fictional women succumb to this most private experience of real women, and Harrison’s depiction is on par, or better, or worse. If you believe you can see the early signs of Calum’s abuse in Kiri’s diary and, therefore, believe her foolish or blind, a trophy to you! However, at her most fundamental, Kiri is a teenager without a fully developed brain; she is unpopular (though not terribly disliked) during high school and finds herself physically acceptable but unique in one of the most garish ways for a teenage girl: she is too tall! Enter a twenty three year old man—a full blown, fully functional adult to seventeen year old Kiri—who takes an interest in her. He is unique, attentive, confident. He sees her. He wants her to be her best self, her most capable self, her hottest self. She is earnestly, dearly infatuated with him, and when he accuses her of being just another fan, she has her first experience of proving her true feelings for him. Have you tried this? Consider the benefits of this. You should do this. This will make you better. I am older, I am educated and smart and speak with conviction, and more than anything, I do not need you.
Kiri hurtles into love with Calum, believing she knows him, proving her devotion when he expresses doubt, interpreting his doubt in her as doubt in himself. I wish he knew I loved him more because he is imperfect. I wish he felt safe enough with me to be flawed. Harrison is delicate in her depiction of Kiri’s spiral and careful in her evolution of Calum’s abuse. I believe in Kiri’s experience because of it, and I cheered for her far more than I cheered for Sam (which, admittedly, didn’t take much). Murderer, victim, or neither, I wanted Kiri to win.
Finally, as an afterthought, I appreciated the depiction of sexuality in Only She Came Back; sexuality is actually never explicitly discussed, though multiple characters are gay, bi, and nonbinary (which is gender, I am aware, but relates to my point). Do I believe that three (two?) characters in different friend groups in one novel comprising of only like eight characters are bi? Maybe not. But LQBTQ+ sexuality was both very present and not at all central, thereby normalizing it (in my opinion) and giving it visibility.
I liked little of this; the writing didn’t work for me (so much imperfect tense, so many diction choices), the protagonist was a pretty shitty person, and the story mostly dragged. Only She Came Back notably excels, however, in its presentation of abuse and grooming and the effects that these may have on an impressionable individual.
November 27, 2023
"But even though Kiri was usually the one on-screen, the story belonged to Callum. It was his channel. He was the one behind the camera, making everything look good.
Then Kiri walked into the gas station. And the story became hers."
This book is SO good! Sam is basically a murderino who aspires to have her own true crime podcast. In the meantime, she is spending her summer working at the local movie theater before getting ready for her first year of community college. Her best friend/potential love interest abruptly left town and Sam is feeling pretty aimless. And then a story begins making national news. A story about a missing survivalist influencer and the girlfriend he left behind. A girl who hitchhiked her way out of a national park and called 911 from a gas station wearing a sweatshirt covered in blood. A girl that Sam just happens to know....
I picked this book up and it literally had to be pried out of my hands every single time someone wanted to interact with me. It had so many things I love:
- a true crime feel
- a podcast element
- strong female characters in both Sam and Kiri
- fresh, straightforward, smart writing
- a hell of a mystery
- Chloe Cates is Missing vibes
I can't say enough good things about this book. Definitely a must read.
Then Kiri walked into the gas station. And the story became hers."
This book is SO good! Sam is basically a murderino who aspires to have her own true crime podcast. In the meantime, she is spending her summer working at the local movie theater before getting ready for her first year of community college. Her best friend/potential love interest abruptly left town and Sam is feeling pretty aimless. And then a story begins making national news. A story about a missing survivalist influencer and the girlfriend he left behind. A girl who hitchhiked her way out of a national park and called 911 from a gas station wearing a sweatshirt covered in blood. A girl that Sam just happens to know....
I picked this book up and it literally had to be pried out of my hands every single time someone wanted to interact with me. It had so many things I love:
- a true crime feel
- a podcast element
- strong female characters in both Sam and Kiri
- fresh, straightforward, smart writing
- a hell of a mystery
- Chloe Cates is Missing vibes
I can't say enough good things about this book. Definitely a must read.
March 15, 2024
This was a pretty good young adult thriller. I really enjoyed how Only She Came Back incorporated diary entries, video footage descriptions, and other media which made this feel like a more interactive read. This had such an interesting story that I really appreciated.
Read this if you like:
📕 True Crime Podcasts
📕 Interactive Reads
📕 Twisty Mysteries
📕 YA Thrillers
Overall this was a good read!
Thank you to the publisher for sending me a copy of this book.
Read this if you like:
📕 True Crime Podcasts
📕 Interactive Reads
📕 Twisty Mysteries
📕 YA Thrillers
Overall this was a good read!
Thank you to the publisher for sending me a copy of this book.
November 30, 2023
A solid young adult thriller that kept me turning pages late into the night. I also liked how many important issues were addressed, like power dynamics and abusive relationships, sexuality and identity, and true crime sensationalism versus true journalism and truth, and all part of the story and not forced. A stellar twisty book in my opinion. I’ll be reading more from this author 😁.
January 10, 2024
This author is not for me. This was like taking the Gabby Petito story and changing it a bit with lots of boring descriptions and idiotic actions by these young adults. No character was flushed out. Just a no.
January 6, 2024
"Do you think I did it?"
This is a one POV book, told by the POV of Sam.
I have to say I only kind of liked Sam, some parts of her I didn´t like. What I liked about her was her resilience and how brave she was. What I absolutely didn´t like about her is that she started her friendship with Kiri for the very wrong reasons and just out of sensation seeking and never tells the truth about it.
I guess Kiri can kind of be counted as a MC as well, since this book is basically about her. A girl that walks out of the desert with her boyfriend´s bloody sweatshirt, while her boyfriend remains missing. Kiri was very naive in many ways, to a point that it sometimes made me almost angry with her until I remembered that she is only 18 and still very young. Other than that I understand her reasonings for how she behaved sometimes.
I guess the plot isn´t really your classic "catch a killer" vibe, since it is basically told through the eyes of a suspect while Kiri tells Sam her story. I guess the main theme in this book is, can we trust Kiri and can we trust her to tell the truth and that the story really happened that way? I would say this borders more into psychological territory. The pacing of the book is good, it only felt a tad too slow in the beginning for me, but other than that it was fine. The tension is there, although the plot twist at the end wasn´t all that shocking to me. I guess you could have easily seen it coming if you pay attention.
Overall it was an okay read that was decent.
trigger warnings:
(since trigger warnings could be considered slight spoilers for crime books I´m marking them as such)
This is a one POV book, told by the POV of Sam.
I have to say I only kind of liked Sam, some parts of her I didn´t like. What I liked about her was her resilience and how brave she was. What I absolutely didn´t like about her is that she started her friendship with Kiri for the very wrong reasons and just out of sensation seeking and never tells the truth about it.
I guess Kiri can kind of be counted as a MC as well, since this book is basically about her. A girl that walks out of the desert with her boyfriend´s bloody sweatshirt, while her boyfriend remains missing. Kiri was very naive in many ways, to a point that it sometimes made me almost angry with her until I remembered that she is only 18 and still very young. Other than that I understand her reasonings for how she behaved sometimes.
I guess the plot isn´t really your classic "catch a killer" vibe, since it is basically told through the eyes of a suspect while Kiri tells Sam her story. I guess the main theme in this book is, can we trust Kiri and can we trust her to tell the truth and that the story really happened that way? I would say this borders more into psychological territory. The pacing of the book is good, it only felt a tad too slow in the beginning for me, but other than that it was fine. The tension is there, although the plot twist at the end wasn´t all that shocking to me. I guess you could have easily seen it coming if you pay attention.
Overall it was an okay read that was decent.
trigger warnings:
(since trigger warnings could be considered slight spoilers for crime books I´m marking them as such)
October 2, 2023
Samara is trying to find out who she is and where she belongs when we start our story. She has just been ghosted by her girlfriend, failed at her attempt to start a true crime podcast, and works a dead end job at a local movie theatre.
It seems like her luck has changed. There's a new case making the rounds of the news outlets. A girl Sam knows has just exited the desert alone, only she wasn't supposed to have come back alone. No one knows where her boyfriend is.
I enjoyed the story despite its striking similarities to the Gabby Petito case. The characters were somewhat likeable. You get invested in the story between Sam and Kiri, unclear of who and what to believe. I could have used a little more character development, particularly for Sam, but what you do get to see does help clarify what you read and how Sam reacts. You also get to see Sam's motivations change during this relationship development, including a reminder that being a purveyor of true crime can have some very negative impacts to the people whose families it affects. The twists were good but pretty predictable. I would say overall that this is a 3.5 star book rounded up to 4.
Many thanks to NetGalley and author Margot Harrison for allowing me the pleasure of reading this ARC.
Publication Date: November 14, 2023
It seems like her luck has changed. There's a new case making the rounds of the news outlets. A girl Sam knows has just exited the desert alone, only she wasn't supposed to have come back alone. No one knows where her boyfriend is.
I enjoyed the story despite its striking similarities to the Gabby Petito case. The characters were somewhat likeable. You get invested in the story between Sam and Kiri, unclear of who and what to believe. I could have used a little more character development, particularly for Sam, but what you do get to see does help clarify what you read and how Sam reacts. You also get to see Sam's motivations change during this relationship development, including a reminder that being a purveyor of true crime can have some very negative impacts to the people whose families it affects. The twists were good but pretty predictable. I would say overall that this is a 3.5 star book rounded up to 4.
Many thanks to NetGalley and author Margot Harrison for allowing me the pleasure of reading this ARC.
Publication Date: November 14, 2023
October 24, 2023
Thank you to Little, Brown and NOVL for my copy of Only She Came Back.
While it took me a few chapters to get into, the rest of the book was hard to put down! I enjoyed the author’s writing style, and I couldn’t tell how the book was going to end which kept me engaged. I would definitely recommend this book.
While it took me a few chapters to get into, the rest of the book was hard to put down! I enjoyed the author’s writing style, and I couldn’t tell how the book was going to end which kept me engaged. I would definitely recommend this book.
December 28, 2023
3.5 stars
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September 20, 2024Sam from Only She Came Back is questioning acespec!
https://www.tumblr.com/aspeccharacter...
https://www.tumblr.com/aspeccharacter...
December 2, 2023
I loved it! I actually finished it in a day but it took me two weeks to mark it so. But the characters were interesting and kept me hooked. The plot was solid. Personally I liked more than most of the other true crime style ya I read. Didn’t feel as … unbelievable. Very happy with it. Would recommend
December 2, 2023
Such a good read. I loved the main character. I loved how she was trying to figure out this case but had a heart about it and went with her instincts. I went back and forth on whether or not i believed the story that she was being told.. and whether or not the chick killed her boyfriend!
I liked the format. It was different and interesting. In the end i was surprised by some events & liked the ending. Very solid read!
I liked the format. It was different and interesting. In the end i was surprised by some events & liked the ending. Very solid read!
February 8, 2024
Way too many impossible and inconceivable plot points were all that held this mystery together. No way the police could be this level of incompetent in the twenty-first century, especially not when the missing boy is white with well-connected parents.
No way was Sam able to sneak into Kiri's home unnoticed, night after night, with all the reporters and (I would assume) the police camping outside. Not to mention Kiri's parents were always off-page, even though Kiri makes a point to emphasize how they're practically breathing down her neck.
The plot twists were good, though. Unexpected. A little dull until you get to them, unfortunately, which is why it took me a bit to get through this novel.
No way was Sam able to sneak into Kiri's home unnoticed, night after night, with all the reporters and (I would assume) the police camping outside. Not to mention Kiri's parents were always off-page, even though Kiri makes a point to emphasize how they're practically breathing down her neck.
The plot twists were good, though. Unexpected. A little dull until you get to them, unfortunately, which is why it took me a bit to get through this novel.
Read
December 22, 2023The way the main character fawns over a female serial killer is disturbing .
This is the perfect example of this kind of toxic feminism ; " I support women's rights , but I also accept women's wrongs " ☠️
Also another thing that the MC says ;
I don't know why men kill because they have been abused or something, but women have way more reason they have to put up with so MUCH so it shouldn't be a surprise when women murder .
This line of thinking is so dangerous and disturbingly enough if you hang around the internet enough this sort of toxic ideal that women can do no wrong is not at all far fetched.
DNF
This is the perfect example of this kind of toxic feminism ; " I support women's rights , but I also accept women's wrongs " ☠️
Also another thing that the MC says ;
I don't know why men kill because they have been abused or something, but women have way more reason they have to put up with so MUCH so it shouldn't be a surprise when women murder .
This line of thinking is so dangerous and disturbingly enough if you hang around the internet enough this sort of toxic ideal that women can do no wrong is not at all far fetched.
DNF
September 2, 2023
I think this book is a well written thriller type book! Just not my thing!
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